Raising Children in a Digital Age #YC14
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Raising children in a digital age, Bex Lewis How do those raising children in the contemporary world –parents, relatives, teachers, and youth workers - gain confidence in the digital environment? How do all enjoy the best whilst avoiding the worst, both for themselves, and those they are responsible for? For Youthwork the Conference, November 2014
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Raising Children in a Digital Age #YC14
- 1. Raising Children in a Digital Age Dr Bex Lewis @drbexl Director, Digital Fingerprint Research Fellow in Social Media and Online Learning, CODEC Centre for Digital Theology, Durham University http://www.slideshare.net/drbexl/raising-children-in-a-digital-age-yc14
- 2. Published by Lion Hudson February 2014
- 4. Let’s “tweet” each other…
- 6. The End is Nigh!
- 8. Digital Culture: It Matters!
- 10. The Toolbox
- 13. Are they digital natives?
- 15. Is privacy dead?
- 16. To monitor or not to monitor?
- 18. Just because you can … doesn’t mean you should!
- 19. H.A.L.T. If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired, step away from the keyboard/keypad and deal with that issue first. http://redcatco.com/communication/stop-posting-social-media/
- 20. Relationships…
- 21. Stranger Danger
- 23. • No surprise, then, that Facebook is no longer a place for uninhibited status updates about pub antics, but an obligatory communication tool that younger people maintain because everyone else does. • All the fun stuff is happening elsewhere. On their mobiles.
- 24. Sex Talk (Porn, Pedophilia and Sexting)
- 25. Keeping within the Law
- 26. Physical Setup Brain Changes Addiction Multitasking Conversational Ability Couch Potatoes
- 27. Screen time and family dynamics
- 28. Gaming
- 29. Does the digital age offer life opportunities?
- 30. Do it for them Do it with them Watch while they do it Let them do it for themselves.
- 31. Grandparent s teachers, youth leaders
- 32. Permissions/Consent •Parent’s permission before contact •Consent for use of photographs •Catchall statement for registration forms – assumes opt-in unless opt-out.
- 33. Language • Use clear, unambiguous language, avoiding abbreviations that can be mis-interpreted. • Take care with sign-offs
- 34. Accountability • Leaders/Young People develop agreed ‘Internet Guidelines’ • Line manager // access to social media accounts • Second leader ‘in the room’ • Save messages/disclosures for use later if required.
- 35. Confidentiality • Be prepared for ‘deeper’ disclosures • Be clear on how much advice/source you can give. • Add a disclaimer on how you might need to share their information.
- 36. Boundaries •Work-specific device? •Don’t keep images of young people on personal devices •Define curfews
- 37. Looking to the future
Editor's Notes
- Raising Children in a Digital Age45 mins, 10.15-11am How do those raising children in the contemporary world –parents, relatives, teachers, and youth workers - gain confidence in the digital environment? How do all enjoy the best whilst avoiding the worst, both for themselves, and those they are responsible for? Image credits = from Stockfresh or iStockphoto unless otherwise specified…
- Intro self… Raising children = all responsible. Not parenting advice, but digital environment (17 yrs)
- Lots of coverage, obviously hit the right timing … this was probably the biggest booking… 8 million listeners.. So, going to give a quick overview of the structure of the book…
- Social Media – all about RELATIONSHIPS – Twitter-like exercise Be checking out the post-it notes whilst people are chatting to each other…
- Headlines = full of disaster, children are addicted to screens, being abducted via Facebook, giving away all their information, sexting, running up bills, becoming couch potatoes, watching porn, meeting strangers and bullying and trolling at every opportunity. I exaggerate, but then so does the news – which (by its nature) is focused on the new/the unusual and has left many people with a feeling that there’s very little that they can do …
- Challenging Fears: Brief Lessons from History New technology = moral panics, and dangers of ‘technological determinism’ Dan Gardner ‘Risk’ – healthiest, wealthiest, safest generation in history - most terrified (post 9/11 flights/road accidents) Families changed – children = ‘decision making’; multiple shapes
- Byron Report (2008), said: “I found the more that I understood what [my children] were experiencing, the more I felt empowered to support them to [go online] responsibly and safely, and the more freedom I felt comfortable for them to have”. Digital Revolution affected all our lives whether choose to participate or not.. Huge huge huge numbers online So, what are the particular characteristics of digital culture? Ephemeral/Permanent Easy to change/replicate/share – which is original? Author intentions = misread Shared fast BUT ALSO means response = faster. Sense of invisibility = irresponsible; but anonymity = can access support sites (little true anonymity) Tech = not the bad guy = like a brick! Talking online/offline rather than virtual/real…
- 3 mins (don’t forget USB stick) Any reactions?
- Like electricity – don’t need to know inside/out to use it … same with technology these days.. Current top tools = fair stable, and know one, will know futures – advice particularly focuses on how to take control of your information.
- Brief overview – old, but not really been bettered, although becoming outdated…
- Definitely need to know about these 2 – but ask your kids what they are using… private peer-to-peer growing…
- Children = more time on tech, but finding new ways to do (old) things The ‘myth’ of the digital native …. still human beings! Tech literacy = not innate, but learned - are not beyond our reach, just need some time to understand. 13 = legal age for Facebook, etc. = positive choices. Technology not seen as ‘technology’ – it just is.. Where do kids turn to for advice (their friends) – start to think how to make yourself more of a confidante.
- Talking to children about technology – many parents as nervous as talking about sex, but this is the most powerful tool/technique available… Ensure each negative statement about tech, etc. accompanied by positive where possible so doesn’t look like dismissing out of hand.. Chelsea Clinton did this re other forms of media whilst she was growing up. Internet Safety Agreement – work with kids to define one that works for your own family…
- Practical Advice: Privacy & Permanency Martha Payne (NeverSeconds) – her Dad still checks everything she receives first… (age 9) – a brief overview of the changing capabilities of children – essentially younger = ‘walled garden’, older = deeper insights. Facebook = 13, many parents think 11 or think is up to them… Facebook influenced much – Zuckerberg believed privacy = dead, but children actually seem to be pretty intelligent about this – and if they aren’t – warning is not to go mad at them, but help them improve the situation..
- The pros & cons of monitoring and filtering – can’t really just rely on the technology to stop things appearing in front of your children – none of the systems = as sophisticated as human beings.. Location services/managing digital footprint… Of value to younger members of family … not once get older – again – back to communication…
- Identity, Values and Authenticity Turkle = photoshopped selves = danger that we’re only projecting a particular image of ourselves – I would say yes, but think do in all situations, and we need to raise awareness that people are not sharing everything of themselves online (nor do they in any situation) .. These were ideas from early days of the internet, but filtered into our everyday thinking… Children need role models – if parents have mobiles attached to them, then have no leg to stand on when try to remonstrate with children. Disinhibition/Anonymity
- Remember that anything that you write online – even in private messages, etc. are easy to copy & paste – and out of your control onve you write them down… quite a good benchmark is thinking of these people who might read it … it may place limitations on what you write – being open and authentic does not mean shove it all out without filters!! You may still post, but at least you will post with awareness that you may attract kickback, etc.. I think of – before I post – God, Your Mum, ‘The kids’, The newspaper, Your worst enemy
- Relationships (Online) The word ‘friendship’ has changed as we now ‘friend’ others on Facebook – children can’t afford to not accept friend requests from those they interact with in the physical space (e.g. school) as has repercussions for offline life… (and most are offline connections) Huge amount of online etiquette – including who connect with, speed of response, what you like, etc.. Facebook depression (more/less socially active) Not going to talk about when friendship becomes ‘bullying’ as talking about that tomorrow…
- ‘Stranger Danger’ (incredibly rare) – and as parents increasingly make friends online, again, seems ironic to say to kids ‘don’t’, rather than helping them do so safely.. US survey in 2006 – out of nearly 200k abducted, only 12 were unknown… again, down to good comms…
- Mobile = cheaper, more accessible, appropriate contracts – so now the tool of choice for many – including kids. FOMO/need to respond = little digifree time – is the mobile becoming an intruder on other situations – many have set rules re e.g. mealtimes, etc. Worries about e-babysitter – though “OK” for educational purposes.. Work with them as they download apps (and ensure password on – throughout = are simple things that can be done…) Ensuring mobile phone costs are managed, and what age (secondary school for most, smartphone GCSE..) Worries about shortform text = damaging use of English = more creative…
- http://www.rgbstock.com/photo/mmXr7oc/texting
- Again = human behaviour exaggerated = more vulnerable offline, also online… Issues of the dangers of porn = complex, but tend to be condensed in the press… for years children have gone through ‘rite of passage’ – but now = easier to get hold of, more explicit, etc.. And changing expectations of what is normal sexual behaviour. Boys, unsurprisingly, more likely to seek it out (and is a danger as looking for those their age, are going to get in trouble for accessing those underage). Romance Academy - working particularly in church circles – keen to see that we have more to say about porn than ‘porn is bad’ – make it appear less acceptable that it’s ‘normal’, that it’s not about ‘being a man’, that girls also get wrong ideas, children take cues from adults, may be educational – but is it a good example – can open conversations, and help youngsters to feel less pressure to partake… Numbers of pedophiles difficult to determine as tend not to self-declare, and most stats comes from e.g. filtering companies… there is a danger, but more from those who are known – so good to be aware – and remember the technology can help you FIND children too… Sexting = age old pressure ‘if you don’t going to ditch you’ … so children need same advice to take care what share/when – as once out there – can spread fast…
- Seen as Wild West, but it’s not – laws still apply (usually the originating country) Plagiarism, music, film, apps… dangers of viruses with illegal info…
- Health Works Need to set up desk properly … more worrying = pro-mia sites, etc. advice on how to eat even less, etc. Brain changing – everything you do affects brain change = not necessarily bad… Addiction – is it really addiction? Is it affecting schoolwork, attention spans? Can people really multitask? Are these things all bad or are we just holding onto things that we treasure? Conversational ability (more social) and danger of couch potatoes – use whatever interest online and take it offline…
- Standard advice = keep computer in a central room in the house – especially once teenage years = not really possible… Am Assoc Pead = consistently says 2 hours of screentime max … Bedroom culture; digital time out; reading online (is it about the book content or the book format?)
- Gaming – not so much my thing, but increasing complexity of games online – without an end point, and rewards for the more time spent online/just one more level… Some argue has increased dexterity, sociability, esp for autistic kids… Are worries is violent, addictive and expensive… similar fears about horror films, most of which disproved by media ‘experts’.
- Technology = prepares kids for the job market, OK to lurk & learn. Need for criticality (not always seen amongst early students) – need to be aware to avoid scams/Snopes, etc. Collaboration Social Justice (clicktivism/activism) I asked my questionnaire respondents what they thought were the benefits of the digital world, and their answers included: access to wide range of information (especially if not blocked by a filter), increased connection with family/friends regardless of distance, huge educational benefits for their future, giving children an opportunity to engage with the world as it is now, opportunities to demonstrate - and be involved in - collaboration, a positive impact on social life, the opportunity to make more flexible plans, tools to keep them occupied, a chance to enjoy spending time together on devices – or to learn from their children, the global nature of the online spaces, fun and entertainment, learning from games, improved hand-eye co-ordination, the speed of communication, new opportunities for creativity, learning to be critical, enhanced personal safety, increased accessibility for those with disabilities, and prospects for increased creativity. Post friend’s suicide, Teenager set up a Twitter account giving compliments to others online: http://mashable.com/2013/05/04/sweet-compliments-twitter After school Code Clubs are running: http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/talking-digital-teaching-manchesters-children-4750001 A child developed a high-capacity battery with fast recharge: http://mashable.com/2013/05/22/super-capacitor-eesha-khare/ Child produced cheap test for pancreatic cancer: http://www.thinkingdigital.co.uk/speakers/2013/jack-andraka Pledge to use the Internet for good: http://www.aplatformforgood.org/index.php/pledge/use-your-power-for-good. Fun with technology: http://www.aplatformforgood.org/summer
- Raising Children in a Digital Age How do those raising children in the contemporary world –parents, relatives, teachers, and youth workers - gain confidence in the digital environment? How do all enjoy the best whilst avoiding the worst, both for themselves, and those they are responsible for? Image credits = from Stockfresh or iStockphoto unless otherwise specified…
- Parents increasingly taking responsibility for grandkids – need to be consistent – greatest growth = accessing pics Teachers = particular concerns – much of it defensive, but how can encourage children to engage whilst protecting self Youth leaders = need for good boundaries, etc. Social media needs to be considered within overall policy decisions, including developing policies for how youth leaders will deal with pastoral questions, and suicidal “cries for help”, including an easily accessible list of contacts available for staff to use.
- e.g. LOL = double meanings Avoid e.g. “luv” or “xxx”.
- Confidentiality In digital communications with youth/children, be aware that they may be prepared to disclose more than they would face-to-face. Ensure that those in your groups understand that you are not qualified to provide counselling (unless you are!), but can give general advice within a personal capacity. Consider adding a disclaimer such as this as to what you may do with their information: If there is a concern, e.g. that the sender or someone else, particularly a child, may be at risk of serious harm, we may need to share those concerns. In such circumstances we would inform the sender giving details of who would be contacted and what information would be given.
- More accountability, protect personal lives… Note that Facebook terms and conditions do not allow users to have more than one profile.
- Only constancy is change … cannot make Internet 100% safe so need to give children confidence/skills – by giving them opportunities to engage online… (swimming pool analogy)
- Questions – time to feed in/feed back.
- Only constancy is change … cannot make Internet 100% safe so need to give children confidence/skills – by giving them opportunities to engage online… (swimming pool analogy)