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Raising Children in a Digital Age
Dr Bex Lewis, Director, Digital Fingerprint;
Senior Lecturer in Digital Marketing,
Manchester Metropolitan University
West Auckland Vineyard Church
CC Licence 4.0 non-commercial
@drbexl
Image Credit: Stockfresh
01/10/16
http://bit.ly/RCIDA-Auckland
Published by Lion Hudson
February 2014
*Italian (Nov 2015)
*Chinese (in process)
http://j.mp/RCIDAge
http://drbexl.co.uk/tag/sid2014
http://drbexl.co.uk/tag/sid2015
http://drbexl.co.uk/tag/sid2016
http://drbexl.co.uk/press/
https://wakelet.com/wake/3rs2tqDbVn
Understand!
ā€œIf we want resilient kids we need
to understand what young peopleā€™s
experiences are online, listen to
their concerns, and intervene with
their best interests in mind.ā€
Jane Tallim, Co-Executive Director, MediaSmarts,
Canada, January 2015
http://mediasmarts.ca/research-policy/young-canadians-wired-world-phase-iii-trends-recommendations
Image Credit: RGBStock
All those negative
headlinesā€¦
Image Credit: Shutterstock
Is it the end of the world
as we know it?
Image Credit: https://pixabay.com/static/uploads/photo/2014/05/12/07/36/end-of-the-world-342343_960_720.jpg
Story: http://bit.ly/Rembrandt-phones
ā€œEven though in practice,
face-to-face communication
can, of course, be angry,
negligent, resistant, deceitful
and inflexible, somehow it
remains the ideal against
which mediated
communication is judged as
flawed.ā€
Prof Sonia
Livingstone,
Children and the
Internet: Great
Expectations
and Challenging
Realities. 2009,
p26
Image Credit: via Facebook
Digital Culture: Why it matters
Image Credit: Pixabay
https://youtu.be/jottDMuLesU
http://pennystocks.la/internet-in-real-time
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cb6IDRMW4AEkqH1.jpg
Children in
Digital Culture
Image Credit: Flickr
Communicate, Communicate,
Communicate
Image Credit: Stockfresh
https://www.verywell.com/social-media-contract-for-tweens-and-parents-3288520
http://www.huffingtonpost.c
om/janell-burley-
hofmann/iphone-contract-
from-your-
mom_b_2372493.html
Practical Advice:
Privacy &
Permanency
Image Credit: RGBStock
To monitor or
not to monitor?
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Identity, Values and
Authenticity
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Just because you
can ā€¦ doesnā€™t mean
you should!
Image Credit: Stock
Who sees this?
1. Parents
2. ā€˜Kidsā€™
3. Newspaper
4. Enemy
Image Credit: Stockfresh
H.A.L.T.
If you are Hungry, Angry,
Lonely or Tired, step
away from the
keyboard/keypad and deal
with that issue first.
http://redcatco.com/communication/stop-posting-social-media/
http://drbexl.co.uk/2016/06/05/emptyshelf-2016-32-simply-tuesday-
emilypfreeman-revell-2015/
Human Beings
at machines,
not ā€œare
machinesā€
Image Source: Stockfresh
Relationships (Online)
Image Credit: RGBStock
The Bullied
The Bully
The Bystander
Image Source: Stockfresh
The only thing
necessary for the
triumph of evil is that
good men do nothing
Quote commonly (and probably erroneously)
attributed to Edmund Burke
Digital Allies
BBC: Be Smart
ā€œWeā€™re doing this because all the research
tells us that children and young people
respond best to their peers. Whether theyā€™re
under pressure to take part in a dangerous
prank, or to victimise someone, or whether
theyā€™re an online bully themselves, stories
told by other young people are most likely to
resonate and to help them cope, or change
their behaviour.ā€
Andrew Tomlinson, Executive Producer, Media Literacy, BBC Learning
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/aboutthebbc/entries/f1f50247-4902-4998-bf58-3e2d3c007587
Increased time spent online will most likely increase
exposure to negative experiences ā€“ but also the
positive opportunities. Nancy Willard, a
cyberbullying expert, calls for us to work on the
ā€œunderstanding that the vast majority of young
people want to make good choices, do not want to
be harmed, and do not want to see their friends or
others harmedā€. We canā€™t control their whole
environment, online or offline, so parents need to
give their children the capability to deal with
problems as they come across them.
Raising Children in a Digital Age, p.63
Stranger Danger
2012/13
550 UK Abductions
Less than 1/5: unknown
ā€œOn average 11 children are killed by a
stranger each year in the UK ā€¦ there are
more than 11 million children in the UKā€
(Netmums)
http://drbexl.co.uk/2016/01/26/digitalparenting-murder-games-the-life-and-death-of-breck-bednar/
Increasingly Mobile
Image Credit: RGBStock
Sex Talk
(Porn, Pedophilia and Sexting)
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Keeping within the Law
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Health Works
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Physical Setup
ā€˜Nutritional adviceā€™
Brain Changes
Multitasking
Conversational Ability
Couch Potatoes
The core signs of addiction
ā€¢ The activity becomes the most important thing in a personā€™s life.
ā€¢ Moods change in accordance with the activity.
ā€¢ Continually higher doses of an activity are required to achieve the
original sensations.
ā€¢ Withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety and depression are
experienced when the activity is stopped.
ā€¢ Increasing conflict occurs with those in the closest social circle.
ā€¢ There is a tendency to return to the activity after periods of control
(relapse).
ā€¢ The ā€œsunk costā€ fallacy is experienced: not wanting to abandon
something after so much time has been sunk into it.
Raising Children in a Digital Age, p168
Challenge the Language
Listen: http://bit.ly/children-womans-hour
Screen time and
family dynamics
Image Credit: Stockfresh
ā€¢ Passive consumption: watching TV, reading, and listening to music
ā€¢ Interactive consumption: playing games and browsing the Internet
ā€¢ Communication: video-chatting and using social media
ā€¢ ā€‹Content creation: using devices to make digital art or music
http://bit.ly/common-sense-screentime
Gaming
Image Credit: Stockfresh
http://bit.ly/children-gaming; http://bit.ly/pokemon-children-churches
Does digital offer
(life) opportunities?
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Progressive responsibility
ā€¢ Do it for them
ā€¢ Do it with them
ā€¢ Watch while they do it
ā€¢ Let them do it for
themselves.
Will Taylor
Grandparents, teachers
& youth leaders
Image Credit: Stockfresh
Looking to the future
Image Credit: RGBStock
Soā€¦ questions?
Event Price: Ā£6.50
http://j.mp/RCIDAge
Presentation here:
http://bit.ly/RCIDA-Auckland

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Raising Children in a Digital Age: Practical Advice for Parents

Editor's Notes

  1. I have been pondering over the format of the half a day (1pm-4pm). Would you be able to do your talk aimed at a mixture of parents, grandparents, youth leaders and other professionals. Realise this is a broad spectrum but something in the middle just like the presentation you sent me. How long would this last? We would then take an extended interval. My plan is to invite some local groups with an interest in positive use of digital media e.g local police, victim support, children's charities and a drop in clinic with some of our techy and safe guarding people. Suggestions appreciated. Attendees can walk around talking to these groups. After this break we would have a 'q & a' session and interview with yourself and a couple of others from the 'interest' groups finishing for 4pm. So, 75 mins for this, 1 hour for chats, 45 mins for Q&A or ā€¦
  2. Intro Selfā€¦ Went to reprint after 4 months, good reviews, etc. Director, Digital Fingerprint, 5 years with Durham Uni re digital/church, now just into my second year at MMU, where defining research interests around idea of enabling positive engagement online, including vulnerable users and what the church has to offer in the digital spacesā€¦ Raising children, not ā€˜parentingā€™ because think we all have responsibility ā€“ if I can get companies behaving more responsibly/ethically, understanding what life is really like for children in a digital age, etc. and helping parents who already have a million other things to think about to understand the digital (theyā€™re the experts in parenting), and similar for those working with youth, then itā€™s a really strong starting point for conversations with children, etc.
  3. Lots of coverage, obviously hit the right timing ā€¦ gets extra interest on ā€˜Safer Internet Dayā€™ (February - running since 2004) which is always good ā€¦ growing number of people speaking on the topic now! So, let me give you an overview of my thoughts, largely in line with the content of my book... Where I want to move people beyond the never ending negativity round digital. Itā€™s real, itā€™s not virtual, and yes, itā€™s not risk free, but if we understand it better, we can engage with it much more confidently..
  4. Expecting to start thinking about a new edition for 2018ā€¦ thereā€™s been a lot more work, and I still get called in frequently for media thoughts on children/the internet... So, this afternoon is structured around the key topics in the book.
  5. Important = can bounce back, etc. seems to have been an increasing number of events about resilience ā€“ or maybe Iā€™m just being invited to themā€¦ but is also something weā€™re noticing at university level ā€“ kids are struggling with anxiety/depression, etc more than ever before, and needing a lot more reassurance re grades/being told what to do ā€“ afraid to make mistakes ā€“ donā€™t blame the kids ā€“ blame our culture/society (and can we change things at an earlier stage) ā€¦
  6. Social Media ā€“ all about RELATIONSHIPS ā€“ Twitter-like exerciseā€¦ introduce yourself to someone new in 60 secondsā€¦
  7. Typically what we hear from the headlines = full of disaster, children are addicted to screens, being abducted via Facebook, giving away all their information, sexting, running up bills, becoming couch potatoes, watching porn, meeting strangers and bullying and trolling at every opportunity. I exaggerate, but then so does the news ā€“ which (by its nature) is focused on the new/the unusual and has left many people with a feeling that thereā€™s very little that they can do ā€¦ These kind of stories, and lots of queries from youth workers - set me off to look into the research thatā€™s already out there, + 120 questionnaires
  8. Are the fears justified, is it the end of the world? Dan Gardner ā€˜Riskā€™ ā€“ weā€™re the healthiest, wealthiest, safest generation in history, but the most terrifiedā€¦ example post 9/11 flights/road accidentsā€¦ but not ā€˜newsworthyā€™ in the same way. Every new technology = moral panics (my experience with TV aged 17 ā€¦ looked like I was addicted!) ā€¦ and each seems to be the end of ā€˜the way we used to do thingsā€™ (invented tradition)ā€¦. A part of ā€˜technological determinismā€™.. (blaming tech rather than behaviour)
  9. Consider this story from January this year, it was ā€˜automatically assumedā€™ that these children were ignoring ā€˜fabulous artā€™ for their phones, when they were actually discussing the painting using the museumā€™s appā€¦
  10. This is one of my favourite quotes, which encourages us to challenge WHAT it is about face-to-face that we prioritise (especially within Christian culture), and how we compensated for that with telephone, how weā€™re learning to with digitalā€¦ ... And just think about the changing values that we now ascribe to written comms, especially in the post, where we typically receive bills and direct mail...
  11. As a trained historian, this kind of picture makes me smile ā€¦ our fundamental humanity hasnā€™t changed that much ā€“ the notion that if this technology wasnā€™t here that weā€™d all be chatting to each other on our morning commute, etc.. is clearly problematic, and shaping attitudes toward digital
  12. Professor Tanya Byron, author of the Byron Report (2008), said: more I understood = more able to support/have confidenceā€¦ What need to have respect for, as well as being excited by the opportunitiesā€¦ Digital Culture: Why it matters that we join in Professor Tanya Byron, author of the Byron Report (2008), said: ā€œI found the more that I understood what [my children] were experiencing, the more I felt empowered to support them to [go online] responsibly and safely, and the more freedom I felt comfortable for them to haveā€. Best way to engage with children = to have a better knowledge of the threats that they are facing ā€“ and donā€™t forget the possibilities ā€¦ the technology = much wider/faster connections (all has up/downsides). Digital Revolution affected all our lives whether choose to participate or not.. Huge huge huge numbers online So, what are the particular characteristics of digital culture? Digital material is both more ephemeral and more permanent than previous communication methods. It can be difficult to remove and it is easy to change, replicate, and share, which makes it difficult to distinguish between originals and their replicas. What the community chooses to highlight may not be what the author intended, and material can be disseminated fast, but this also means that a response can be made more quickly. Users can have a sense of being invisible, which can lead to irresponsible behaviour, but can also provide the anonymity necessary to encourage someone to engage with online support sites. We should remember, however, that, with a little work, anyone can be found and identified. In digital culture people tend to engage with increasing numbers of ā€œfriendsā€: it can be harder to detect possible risk, but those with ā€œunique interestsā€ can find friends more easily online. Need to be digitally literate, and not see tech as ā€˜the bad guyā€™ (like a brick ā€“ through window or build house) ā€“ lots of easier ways to stay in touch, and great opportunities for those with special needs...; Talking online/offline rather than virtual/realā€¦
  13. 2 mins [What do you think of this video, and the things featured on it?] Digital Revolution affected all our lives whether choose to participate or not.. Huge huge huge numbers online, and the best way to ensure the resilience of children is to ensure that they are ā€˜digitally literateā€™ ā€“ that they are confident in how to use the technology that has become so much a part of our lives, and that we, as parents, or youth leaders, etc. are able to exhibit a ā€˜comfortā€™ with technology ourselves (and no one knows it all!) .. So letā€™s look at some of the tools.
  14. Digital Revolution affected all our lives whether choose to participate or not.. Huge huge huge numbers online, and the best way to ensure the resilience of children is to ensure that they are ā€˜digitally literateā€™ ā€“ that they are confident in how to use the technology that has become so much a part of our lives, and that we, as parents, or youth leaders, etc. are able to exhibit a ā€˜comfortā€™ with technology ourselves (and no one knows it all!) .. So letā€™s look at some of the tools. Algorithm from early 2014 ā€“ if someone updated this would see numbers grow even faster.. So, here we see lots of different platforms, which ones are pretty big in 2016?
  15. Like electricity ā€“ donā€™t need to know inside/out to use it ā€¦ same with technology these days.. But giving an insight into the current top tools (date book ļŒ)ā€¦ many of the top tools ā€“ e.g. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc have been fairly stable for several years nowā€¦ The advice in the book particularly focuses on how to find the information to take control of your information (are a great many ways you can). Also note ā€“ WhatsApp! and Reddit, and increasing number of apps used at work ā€“ e.g. Slackā€¦ (debates about whether video will take over...) Highlights the need to help children make wise decisions about the technology that they useā€¦ recent research demonstrates that children are moving away from broadcast platforms such as Twitter, Facebook and even Instagram, to spaces such as Snapchat and Whatsapp.
  16. Yes, children spending more time on technology ā€“ become cheaper/more accessible ā€“ but that doesnā€™t mean that they ā€˜misbehave moreā€™ ā€“ there are new ways to do (old) thingsā€¦ The ā€˜mythā€™ of the digital native .. They are not so very different ā€“ still human beings ā€“ are not beyond our reach, just need some time to understand (avoid technological determinism re ā€˜the machine forces them (us) to behave in particular waysā€¦. Advertising, consumerism, the digital divide ā€“ where do kids turn to for advice (their friends) ā€“ start to think how to make yourself more of a confidante.
  17. Talking to children about technology ā€“ many parents as nervous as talking about sex, but this is the most powerful tool/technique availableā€¦ Ensure each negative statement about tech, etc. accompanied by positive where possible so doesnā€™t look like dismissing out of hand.. Think about e.g. Chelsea Clinton, and also Martha from Never Seconds Internet Safety Agreement ā€“ work with kids to define one that works for your own familyā€¦
  18. Quick e.g. Could do as a school, or as a youth group (importance of peer influence = hugely influential ā€“ action learning rather than ā€˜top downā€™) ā€“ are plenty of examples online, and probably suitable for different ones for different agesā€¦ sit down and talk about it as a family.
  19. Back in 2012, this mobile phone ā€˜contractā€™ went viral ā€¦ and demonstrates a good awareness of tech, and of parenting ā€“ so far as I can see! It finishes ā€œYou will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.ā€ ā€¦ Thatā€™s nice, hey? Boundaries ā€“ pushing boundaries ... Being clear (youth groups/schools, etc. Always encourage opportunities to talk about what is expected, both amongst kids, and amongst parents... Makes it easier to resist peer pressure ... Maybe a FB group where parents talk to each other, etc... Remember the media highlights the problems that tech causes, but rarely highlights the solutions it also offers...
  20. Martha Payne (NeverSeconds) ā€“ her Dad still checked everything she receives firstā€¦ (age 9) A brief overview of the changing capabilities of children ā€“ essentially younger = ā€˜walled gardenā€™, older = deeper insights. Facebook = 13, many parents think 11 or think is up to themā€¦ Pre-school:Ā Childrenā€™s lives are focused strongly on family and the home, especially on developing relationships with the key adults in their lives. At this age children have little ability to differentiate between reality and fantasy, so find violence and emotional scenes hard to handle. Their ā€œonline dietā€ needs to be supervised and restricted in respect of both content and time. Five to 11Ā years:Ā As children start school, they begin to develop relationships with more people outside the family, including learning the social norms of friendships with other children, learning right and wrong, and distinguishing reality from fantasy. At this age parents need to allow greater freedoms, but still within boundaries and accompanied by more discussion, enabling the child to develop their own critical evaluation and self-management skills as well as being supported when they cannot, or maybe, choose not to. 11Ā to 14Ā years:Ā This is typically an era characterised by hormones as puberty strikes, and the emphasis for children moves largely from home and the family towards the external world, their peers, and ā€œidolsā€ in the quest to become ā€œindependentā€. This means a shift from parental identification to peer identification, requiring a degree of experimentation that may involve taking risks. Brain changes cause an inherent drive to seek out social experiences, especially online as outdoor, offline socialisation has become more restricted. They may start to actively seek out age-restricted material and games that are designed for adults, so keep the communication channels open for discussions of risk and challenging content. From 15Ā years onwards, officially the last stage of ā€˜childhoodā€™, children take increasing responsibility for their own decisions and identities, as abstract thinking, judgement making, and own values and beliefs become fully developed. http://motherland.net/features/internet-safety-a-parents-guide/ Facebook influenced much ā€“ Zuckerberg believed privacy = dead, but children actually seem to be pretty intelligent about this ā€“ and if they arenā€™t ā€“ warning is not to go mad at them, but help them improve the situation..
  21. The pros & cons of monitoring and filtering ā€“ canā€™t really just rely on the technology to stop things appearing in front of your children ā€“ none of the systems = as sophisticated as human beings.. IMPORTANCE OF TRUST! Location services/managing digital footprintā€¦ Of value to younger members of family ā€¦ not once get older ā€“ again ā€“ back to communicationā€¦
  22. What images of self are people projecting? How do you know what you stand for? Children need role models ā€“ if parents have mobiles attached to them, then have no leg to stand on when try to remonstrate with children. [Discuss: what are the values youā€™d like to see online .. And how do they tie with offline?] Importance of not seeing ā€˜onlineā€™ as ā€˜virtualā€™ ā€“ then people seem to think different rules apply, but itā€™s a part of our whole lives, and should be treated as suchā€¦
  23. Want some of my research to look at ethics of what we share/why, why we do what we do .. And a lot of that relates back to core values ā€¦ if we donā€™t know what we stand for, weā€™ll get dragged into anything ā€“ no one is saying that the internet isnā€™t shiny, but it can be used for good, rather than negative...
  24. Think before you post ā€¦ does this truly represent what you want to say ā€“ and are you happy for all these people to see it? For me = add God.. Remember that anything that you write online ā€“ even in private messages, etc. are easy to copy & paste ā€“ and out of your control once you write them downā€¦ quite a good benchmark is thinking of these people who might read it ā€¦ it may place limitations on what you write ā€“ being open and authentic does not mean shove it all out without filters!! You may still post, but at least you will post with awareness that you may attract kickback, etc..
  25. A good time to really think, and decide whether online is the best place ā€¦ Iā€™ve added a link to a book review I did earlier this year ā€“ the people youā€™re sharing with should have earned your trust, the world doesnā€™t need to know every struggle that we have ā€“ and certainly not in a public forum ... Learn to make good use of private spaces (my e.g. Closed group)
  26. Importance of online/offline Always remember that there is a human being at the other end of the keyboard - each uniquely created by Godā€¦ and as is noted by many communicators is not what youā€™ve said, but what others have ā€˜heardā€™ ā€¦ not everyone receives the message that you send in the same way .. And one message definitely doesnā€™t fit allā€¦ weā€™re in the world of what is described as ā€œthe long tailā€, where rather than being able to send out a mass message, we have to have more concern with individuals (which I always hope we as Christians do anyway, butā€¦. ) ā€“ Google searches for ā€˜nichesā€™ (small keywords/multiple entry points, etc.)
  27. The word ā€˜friendshipā€™ has changed as we now ā€˜friendā€™ others on Facebook ā€“ children canā€™t afford to not accept friend requests from those they interact with in the physical space (e.g. school) as has repercussions for offline lifeā€¦ (and most are offline connections) Huge amount of online etiquette ā€“ including who connect with, speed of response, what you like, etc.. Facebook depression (more/less socially active) ā€˜Stranger Dangerā€™ (incredibly rare) ā€“ and as parents increasingly make friends online, again, seems ironic to say to kids ā€˜donā€™tā€™, rather than helping them do so safely..
  28. Cyberbullying ā€“ huge issue ā€“ speed, constantly, digital pile-on are core ā€“ the 3 roles ā€“ bullied, bully, bystander.. (Nancy Willard ā€“ is not something kids HAVE to live throughā€¦) Situation of particular concern = (Cyber-bullying)ā€¦ want to focus on the 3 groups of people involved here.. Bullied ā€“ likely to spend excessive time online, or avoid it ā€“ maybe interactive nervously, numbers involved vary, but more ā€˜reliableā€™ research indicates about 20% affected in some way). Spend extra time with them, develop confidence, donā€™t remove devices, listen to them, not their fault. // Think about IF/how to respond, keep copies of messages, may be able to block a/cs The Bully ā€“ Disinhibition. Any solutions? Not easy ones, and part of a bigger attitude change ā€“ look at advice re bullying in general, but this is where removing access, and encouraging them to understand the harm/take responsibility = key. The Bystander ā€“ the importance of stepping in, rather than standing back ā€¦ digital alliesā€¦
  29. If we refuse to engage ā€“ what is that doing .. Can be scary, but this phrase is powerful..
  30. Things move fast, so others can pile in ā€“ but can also use this to your advantage to get other friends, etc. to support you as wellā€¦
  31. Note ā€“ very interested in who takes responsibility for all this ā€“ here we have the BBC, but I think we all have responsibility TOGETHER ā€“ schools, parents, researchers, churches ā€“ you name it ā€“ we canā€™t just make stuff and not think about how/why it might be usedā€¦
  32. Often kids donā€™t understand ā€“ especially as online = ā€œdisinhibitionā€ = sometimes being exposed to what theyā€™ve done is ā€˜enoughā€™ ā€“ if not, then thereā€™s a bigger problem there, which the digital is just part of ā€¦ exercise is saying some of that stuff out loud to others can make it ā€œrealā€...
  33. ā€˜Stranger Dangerā€™ (incredibly rare) ā€“ and as parents increasingly make friends online, again, seems ironic to say to kids ā€˜donā€™tā€™, rather than helping them do so safely.. Latest figures from UK = around 550 abductions recorded by police in 2012/13, less than 1/5 by a stranger, most are by people known to the victim (we get a different impression from the media!) *Remember ā€“ you wouldnā€™t leave a child to play alone in the park, would you? Be with them, support them as they learn to stand on their own 2 feet! http://www.childabduction.org.uk/index.php/the-facts ā€˜Stranger Dangerā€™ (incredibly rare) ā€“ and as parents increasingly make friends online, again, seems ironic to say to kids ā€˜donā€™tā€™, rather than helping them do so safely.. US survey in 2006 ā€“ out of nearly 300k abducted, only 12 were unknownā€¦ again, down to good commsā€¦ http://www.lindenhurststrangerdanger.com/?page_id=2 - Rarely were the offenders of young victims strangers. Strangers were the offender in just 3% of sexual assaults against victims under age 6 and 5% of the sexual assault of victimizations of youth ages 6 through 11. -Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement, 7/00, NCJ 182990, U.S. Department of Justice Read More http://www.lindenhurststrangerdanger.com Unfortunately recent yearsĀ haveĀ seen an increase in child abductions in Britain. But - and it's an important but - although the percentage increase may seem high, in terms of the numbers involved they are still very small. On average 11 children are killed by a stranger each year in the UK (and there are more than 11 million children in the UK), a figure that has not increased since the 1970s. Statistically children are more at risk of abuse from someone they know. Of course the murder or abuseĀ of any child is a tragedy but the actual statistics do imply that our parental anxieties about stranger danger are misplaced. http://www.netmums.com/lifestyle/house-and-home/essential-safety-for-kids/essential-safety-for-kids-stranger-danger (2012?) http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/child-kidnap-and-abduction-increase-as-crimes-come-under-greater-scrutiny-10062014.html - difficult to know how much numbers are about the way things are reportedā€¦
  34. How many saw this earlier this year on the BBC? Accompanied by materials for schools to use ā€“ Breck ā€“ a keen gamer ā€“ and his parents did so many things right, but he was lured to an 18/19 year oldā€™s house ā€“ had groomed him and persuaded him that his parents/close friends didnā€™t have the best for him ā€“ his mother is now determined to educate people as she doesnā€™t believe the internet or gaming is problematic ā€“ itā€™s the people using it, we need to be educated, and children need to want to talk to us (and if itā€™s not us, can you get someone closer to them in age that you trust, etc.) ā€¦
  35. Mobile = cheaper, more accessible, appropriate contracts ā€“ so now the tool of choice for many ā€“ including kids. FOMO/need to respond = little digifree time ā€“ is the mobile becoming an intruder on other situations ā€“ many have set rules re e.g. mealtimes, etc. Worries about e-babysitter ā€“ though ā€œOKā€ for educational purposes.. Work with them as they download apps (and ensure password on ā€“ throughout = are simple things that can be doneā€¦) Ensuring mobile phone costs are managed, and what age (I said secondary school for most, smartphone GCSE.. This is WAY out of date, esp when phones are handed down ā€“ some people decide via contracts, some turn off the data/wifi elements ā€“ but most try and be alongsideā€¦ ) No surprise, then, that Facebook is no longer a place for uninhibited status updates about pub antics, but an obligatory communication tool that younger people maintain because everyone else does: All the fun stuff is happening elsewhere. On their mobiles. Worries about shortform text = damaging use of English = more creativeā€¦
  36. Again = human behaviour exaggerated = more vulnerable offline, also onlineā€¦ Issues of the dangers of porn = complex, but tend to be condensed in the pressā€¦ for years children have gone through ā€˜rite of passageā€™ ā€“ but now = easier to get hold of, more explicit, etc.. And changing expectations of what is normal sexual behaviour. Numbers of pedophiles difficult to determine as tend not to self-declare, and most stats comes from e.g. filtering companiesā€¦ there is a danger, but more from those who are known ā€“ so good to be aware ā€“ and remember the technology can help you FIND children tooā€¦ Sexting = age old pressure ā€˜if you donā€™t going to ditch youā€™ ā€¦ so children need same advice to take care what share/when ā€“ as once out there ā€“ can spread fastā€¦
  37. Seen as Wild West, but itā€™s not ā€“ laws still apply (usually the originating country) Plagiarism, music, film, appsā€¦ dangers of viruses with illegal infoā€¦ far more likely than many of the other things we might expect (though can also be traumatising = e.g. breaking the family computer!)
  38. Need to set up desk properly ā€¦ More worrying = pro-mia sites, etc. advice on how to eat even less, etc. and even ā€˜clean eatingā€™ with HUGE followers = no qualifications, although also groups such as BeyondChoc that I belong to.. (as always, quite often a positive follows the negative) Brain changing ā€“ everything you do affects brain change = not necessarily badā€¦ Can people really multitask? Are these things all bad or are we just holding onto things that we treasure? Conversational ability (more social) Danger of couch potatoes ā€“ use whatever interest online and take it offline E.g. geocaching, or, yes Pokemon Go!
  39. Addiction ā€“ is it really addiction? Is it affecting schoolwork, attention spans? Seem familiar? Most are not ā€˜truly addictedā€™ ā€“ and what about the difference between e-books/ā€™realā€™ books = at least they are reading!
  40. Only the other week, Dr Alicia Blum-RossĀ who is part of a team at the LSE looking at parenting in a digital age, challenges the language of addiction and control thatā€™s so common in conversations around children and the internet ā€¦
  41. We saw that programme was also about screen time - standard advice = keep computer in a central room in the house ā€“ especially once teenage years = not really possibleā€¦ Am Assoc Pead = consistently says 2 hours of screentime max ā€¦ and none before age of 2 ā€“ are now re-assessing their advice, particularly in light of better tech and will issue new advice this year ā€¦ and there is a growing sense of different TYPES of screen time, from consumption, to communication, to creation... Bedroom culture; digital time out; reading online (is it about the book content or the book format?)
  42. Gaming ā€“ not so much my thing, but increasing complexity of games online ā€“ without an end point, and rewards for the more time spent online/just one more levelā€¦ but have been asked to write/talk on it quite a bit ā€“ and watching e.g. ā€˜gamificationā€™ taking over the way life worksā€¦ added a link to a radio broadcast done in Feb this year with myself and a number of parents and the tactics they use (yes, I found most of them ā€“ I donā€™t think I have all the answers ā€“ I want to collect insights from others!) ... And yes, I experimented with Pokemon ā€“ more of a fan of exploring than competition! Some argue has increased dexterity, sociability, esp for autistic kidsā€¦ Are worries is violent, addictive and expensiveā€¦ similar fears about horror films, most of which disproved by media ā€˜expertsā€™ in previous eras ā€¦ and evidence often points in other direction, but not enough in-depth research done, although believe one of my colleagues is looking into thisā€¦
  43. Technology = prepares kids for the job market, OK to lurk & learn. Need for criticality (not always seen amongst early students) ā€“ need to be aware to avoid scams/Snopes, etc. Collaboration Social Justice (clicktivism/activism) Wide range of information Increased connectivity and collaboration Educational benefits Global nature of online New creative opportunities Learning criticality Increased accessibility for those with disabilities
  44. I spotted this on Facebook as I was coming to the end of writing this book. It was posted by Will Taylor (communications manager, youth worker, and dad), and seems to sum up what is required of parents in the digital sphere: Do it for them Do it with them Watch while they do it Let them do it for themselves.
  45. Parents increasingly taking responsibility for grandkids ā€“ need to be consistent ā€“ greatest growth = accessing pics Teachers = an opportunity for group space, but also teachers need to ā€˜take careā€™. Youth leaders = need for good boundaries, etc. but also look at the opportunities for peer review, etc.
  46. Only constancy is change ā€¦ more visual, more audio, higher broadband speeds, more hacker attacks? Cannot make Internet 100% safe so need to give children confidence/skills ā€“ by giving them opportunities to engage onlineā€¦ and understand what they do have responsibility for. First and foremost, I think if children are confident that their parents (and other responsible adults, etc.) care for them, and are there to back them up, they develop resilience in all aspects of life. The more that parents, etc. understand the internet, the more they can help their children with this particular aspect of life (swimming pool analogy)
  47. Final word ā€“ remember ā€“ there is always a human being at the other end of the keyboardā€¦ think before you typeā€¦