Trust building

1. Building Trust
Sue Bohlin
Suebohlin.com

2. Be Transparent
Be Responsive
Use Caring
Be Sincere
Be Trustworthy

3. What is Trust?
• My faith in your ability or word in some
specific area
• Trust includes the degree to which I believe
you will look out for my best interests in a
specific area.
• Trust suggests that you care about my
welfare and success in helping me achieve
my goals.

4. Principles about Trust
 Trust is never given to another person
globally and unconditionally.
 It always has to do with a specific area of
expertise or action.
 Trust involves both ability and word.
 You are capable in a particular area and true to
your word.

5. Principles about Trust
 Trust comes in different degrees or levels.
 Though trust can be one-sided, it is best
when it is mutual.
 Trust can be built.
 Trust can grow or erode between people.
 Lost trust can be recovered and
rehabilitated.

6. Be Transparent
1. Be easily readable
2. Be open
3. Be vulnerable
1. Be easily readable
 Your outsides match your insides
 Others can discern your emotional state

7. Be Transparent
2. Be strategically open
 Your honest response to what others want or ask for
 What you need from others to make the task or
project successful
 Your strengths and weaknesses in your ability to
help others
Openness begets openness
Openness precedes trust

8. Be Transparent
3. Be vulnerable
 Take a one-down position
 Request, don’t demand
 The opposite of using power to get your
way or manage others
 Power begets resistance; vulnerability
begets willingness

9. Be Responsive
 Responsiveness: giving and receiving
feedback
spontaneously
consciously
with care
 Welcome and respect honest feedback from
others
 Offer the same to others

10. Be Responsive
 Historically in the workplace, feedback =
the expectation of criticism, evaluation,
judgment, and punishment
 More healthy theory: the purpose of
feedback is to help build a trusting
relationship in working toward a shared
goal

11. Be Responsive
 Giving feedback: My willingness and ability
to respond to what you have said or done in a
specific area, expressing thoughts and
feelings that I personally own.
 Feedback formula: “My reaction to X is Y.”
 X = what you have said or done in a specific area
 Y = my thoughts and feelings about it
 My responses are about your behavior, not
aimed at you

12. Be Responsive
 A Plan for Giving Feedback
1. Knock on the door.
2. Describe the specific action, event or behavior at
issue.
3. Spell out its impact on you.
4. Specify the likely positive and negative
consequences and make a request.
5. Get a firm agreement.
6. Share appreciation.
 Receive feedback graciously and non-defensively.

13. Use Caring
 Essential leadership qualities: competent,
confident and caring.
 Caring about people and our relationships
with them communicates that they are
important.
 No matter what negative criticisms or
strong emotion you bring to me, I will deal
with it in a way that respects and protects
you and our relationship.

14. Use Caring
 When do people feel cared for?
 5 unspoken requests:
 Hear and understand me.
 Even if you disagree, please don’t make me
wrong.
 Acknowledge the greatness within me.
 Remember to look for my good intentions.
 Tell me the truth with compassion.

15. Be Sincere
 Acting without deceit or pretense. Being
genuine and straightforward in
relationships. Matching your actions with
your words.
 Congruence: your thoughts and feelings
match your words and actions.
 Building trust requires that you be sincere
and congruent consistently so others can
trust your word.

16. Be Sincere
 Congruence is a character issue, not a
technique to be taught.
 Bad habits and character flaws to address:
 Gossiping
 Lying/fibbing/misleading
 Hiding our strong feelings

17. Be Trustworthy
 Your word can be trusted.
 Giving your word in an agreement and
being willing to accept the consequences of
that agreement.

18. Be Trustworthy
You become loose with your word by making:
 Agreements out of politeness
 Vague and ambiguous agreements
 Agreements you enter into with enthusiasm, forget
and never bring up again
 Agreements you don’t intend to keep and hope the
other person will forget

19. Be Trustworthy
 Honoring your word: “Working by Agreement”
 1. Make only those agreements you intend to
keep.
 2. Avoid making or accepting “fuzzy”
agreements.
 3. Give earliest notice when agreements must be
broken.
 4. Clean up broken agreements.