This document provides guidance on managing holiday stress and self-care when coping with cancer. It discusses common holiday stressors and setting intentions to focus on what brings you joy. It encourages prioritizing meaningful traditions and comfortable social interactions. It also suggests preparing for how cancer treatments may impact holidays and giving yourself permission to have non-traditional celebrations. The overall message is to focus on your own values and needs to craft holidays that feel meaningful.

1. C A R I N G F O R Y O U R S E L F
S T A Y I N G E N G A G E D
N A V I G A T I N G T H E H O L I D A Y S E A S O N
J U L I E L A R S O N , L C S W
Holiday Stress

2. The Holiday Picture
• Shopping
• Decorating
• Baking
• Holiday
Cards
• Family
Gatherings
• Joyful
• Perfectly
Chosen
• Festive
• Family
• Magical

3. What is difficult for YOU?
Holiday stress is a vague way of labeling the dread,
exhaustion or experience of being overwhelmed
during this time of year.
Get specific. The better you identify what is hard for
you each year (or this year) the better you will be at
addressing those issues directly.
Conversely, what do you look forward to or hope for
the holiday season? Be specific.

4. Common holiday stressors
 Uncomfortable family gatherings
 Unhappy memories
 What has changed in your life since last year
 What has not changed in your life since last year
 Relentless pace + cold/flu season + less self care

5. The Holidays and Cancer
Demands of the
holidays
• Connection
• Energy
• Meaning
making
• Gratitude
Consequences
of cancer
• Isolation
• Fatigue
• Uncertainty
• Loss

6. Setting Intentions
 Intentions are different than goals
 Where we connect with our values
 Who we want to be (our best selves)
 HOW we show up in the world

7. Do. Diminish. Delete.
Trigger phrase = “I should” or “We must”
STOP! Ask, “Why?”
 DO what makes you excited, content or brings joy.
 DIMINISH (simplify) by delegating responsibility or taking short
cuts.
 DELETE events or tasks which you no longer connect with and
therefore feel burdensome.
Give yourself permission to have a different type of holiday.
Be open to surprises!

8. HEADACHES
TENSE MUSCLES
DIGESTIVE ISSUES
FATIGUE
What Messages Does Your Body Send?

9. Taking back control
Put your stress response to work! Get to know your stress
signs then use them as real time reminder to plug in a
self care moment.
 Bite-size self care:
 Take long, slow breaths – slows heart rate & lowers blood pressure.
 Float above yourself and watch to gain perspective.
 Be present. Tune into your five senses in this moment.
 Reach out and connect with others.
 Laugh – lowers cortisol and boosts endorphines.
 Drink water.
 Put yourself to bed.
 Play music! Soothing to lower anxiety or upbeat to energize

10. Where do you find YOUR Holiday magic?
 Prioritize the holiday traditions you await each year.
 Connect with others in a comfortable way for you.
 In your home or away?
 Everyone at one time or small groups?
 Who is your “wing man”?
 Know your limits. Time of day? Length of visit? Frequency?
 Identify the tricky players! Give those interactions a focus.
 Allow trusted others to sit alongside you in
emotional moments (vulnerability  connection)
 Be honest. Don’t stop the holiday. Stop “the show”.
 Is this part of “us” or part of “the show”?

11. Do you have to set a place for Cancer at the table?
Yes.
Prepare in advance for how cancer may interrupt your
holiday. This includes reminding yourself you will
face unexpected situations when they arise one step
at a time.
 Stock up on any necessary supplies or medicine.
 Pack diagnosis, treatment plan and medical team contacts when you
leave home in case you need it while out of town
 Clarify any changes to the way you contact your medical team during
the holidays.
 Talk with your medical team about your travel plans
 Maintain consistent sleep/eating schedule
 Stress resilient vs. stress vulnerable

12. Do you have to set a place for Cancer at the table?
No.
Prepare in advance for how cancer may interrupt your
holiday. This includes reminding yourself you will
face unexpected situations when they arise one step
at a time.
 Create a scripted response for when family & friends ask about
cancer at a time when you do not want to talk.
 Keep a trusted family member or friend near when you are in
challenging groups to help navigate the interaction.
 Use humor to diffuse intense emotional moments.
 You are more than your cancer dx. Take the “You Inventory”.

13. Your Holiday. Your Family. You!
Consider you.
Use the answers you discover about what defines a
meaningful holiday for you to make choices.
Those answers and choices will be different for each person
and each moment. Perhaps different for this year
compared to years in the past or yet to come.
Say “no” to the perfectly wonderful ideas that do not really
mean much to you, so you can say “yes” to the
imperfectly wonderful moments that do. Amanda Morgan