Eliminating Shifts and
 Mixed Constructions
   Keeping your passengers
         comfortable
Keeping your writing on
      the road…
• Good writers avoid anything that makes
  the audience stop reading (or go back and
  re-read)
  –   Shifts in person and number
  –   Shifts in tense
  –   Shifts in mood
  –   Shifts in voice and subject
  –   Shifts between direct and indirect quotes
  –   Mixed constructions
  –   Illogical constructions
  –   Faulty predication (ooh—that sounds horrible!)
Shifts in Person and
           Number
• Person-occurs when pronouns are used
  Person
  in sentences about groups or
  unidentified people. (pronoun antecedent
 agreement)
  – When the researchers mixed the two
    chemicals, you saw a surprising reaction.

  – When the researchers mixed the two
    chemicals, they saw a surprising reaction.
Shifts in Person and
           Number
• Person-Some writers shift from the
  Person
  third person (he, she, it, one, they) to
  the second person.
  – With the cost of prescription drugs
    spiraling upward, you can see that
    regulation of the drug companies is
    inevitable.
  – With the cost of prescription drugs
    spiraling upward, one can see that
    regulation of the drug companies is
    inevitable.
Shifts in Person and
           Number
• Number shifts occur often when
  trying to avoid gender issues or when
  using indefinite pronouns.
  – Every employee sets their own pace.
  – Every employee sets his or her own pace.

  – Each has their duty.
  – Each has his or her duty.
    • Each has a duty.
Shifts in Tense
• Tense places the action of the verb in
  time.

• Maintain an overall sense of tense ()
  – When the letter arrived, it says nothing
    about the contract.
• When discussing literature or art, use
  the present tense.
  – In The Glass Menagerie, Tom realizes how
    trapped he is after the Gentleman Caller
    departs.
Shifts in Mood
• When writing commands (imperative
  mood) and using the “you” understood
  subject—don’t shift back to indicative.
 (just read the following sentence)
  – First, cover your work surface with paper,
    and then you make sure your materials are
    within reach.
  – First, cover your work surface with paper,
    and then make sure your materials are
    within reach.
     • Second IC is also “you” understood
Shifts in Voice and
          Subject
• Voice is either active or passive.
  – If the subject does it, it’s active.
  – If the subject is acted upon, it’s passive.
• If a sentence has 2 verbs that share
  the same subject, it’s okay to shift
  voice (I know, we’re supposed to avoid it…)
  – The students completed the project first
    and were awarded the prize.
     • Completed is active, were awarded is passive—
       but since the one subject is students, it works.
Shifts in Voice and
        Subject
• Avoid shifting from active to passive
  (or vice versa) if it requires a subject
  change.
  – As we peered out of the tent, the waning
    moon was seen through the trees.
     • Peered is active-subject we
     • Was seen is passive—subject the moon
     • This is also a dangling modifier. (re-write
       sentence)
  – As we peered out of the tent, we saw the
    waning moon through the trees.
Shifts between Direct
     and Indirect Quotes
• Careful use of quotation marks clarifies
  statements for the reader.
  – Direct quote—it came out of someone’s mouth
    just that way

  – He insisted that he loved his wife and cried,
    “Why did she leave me?”
Shifts between Direct
  and Indirect Quotes

• Indirect quote—repeating something
  that was said.
  – He insisted that he loved his wife and
    wondered why she had to leave him.him
Shifts between Direct
   and Indirect Quotes
• Consider the following:
  – Dr. Ryan claims that the play was
    composed before 1600 and that it was
    written by the hand of Shakespeare.

  – Dr. Ryan claims that the play was
    composed before 1600 and that it “shows
    the clear hand of Shakespeare.”
  – Dr. Ryan claims that the play was
    composed before 1600. He says, “It shows
    the clear hand of Shakespeare.”
Mixed Constructions
     Revise for Clarity

• A sentence that begins one way and
  then takes a turn in another way is a
  mixed construction:
  – By listening closely and paying attention to
    nonverbal signals helps a doctor make a
    better diagnosis.
    • By listening closely is a prep phrase-can’t be a
      subject
    • Revised: Listening closely and paying attention
      to nonverbal signals helps a doctor make a
      better diagnosis.
Mixed Constructions
     Revise for Clarity

• Clauses and other phrases are often
  misused as a subject.
  – Because the doctor is an expert does
    not mean a patient shouldn’t get a
    second opinion.
    • Because the doctor is an expert is a
      subordinate clause—can’t be the subject
    • Revised: The doctor’s status as an expert
      does not mean a patient shouldn’t get a
      second opinion.
Mixed Constructions
     Revise for Clarity

• Mixed constructions can happen with
  verbs, too. Main verbs of the sentence
  can’t be in verbal phrases or
  subordinate clauses.
  – The fact that most patients are afraid to
    ask questions which gives doctors complete
    control.
    • The verb give is in the sub-clause although it’s
      the main verb in the sentence.
    • Revised: The fact that most patients are afraid
      to ask questions gives doctors complete control.
Illogical Constructions
      Revise for Clarity
• Things that make your reader say, “Hmmm, I
  wonder what that is supposed to mean.”
  – The opinion of most people believe that dogs are
    better pets than cats.
     • Revised: Most people believe that dogs are better pets than
       cats.
  – Repeat offenders whose licenses have already been
    suspended for drunk driving will be revoked.
     • Revised: Repeat offenders whose licenses have already been
       suspended for drunk driving will have their licenses revoked.

        – CAREFUL PROOFREADING SHOULD CATCH THESE!
Faulty Predication
• Don’t use a clause beginning with when,
  where or because after a linking verb.
  – Pop art is where an artist reproduces
    images from commercial products.
    • Revised: Pop art is based on images from
      commercial products.
  – Sudden death overtime is when the game is
    extended until one team scores.
    • Revised: In sudden-death overtime, the game is
      extended until one team scores.
Faulty Predication
• This is a tricky one: “The reason … is”
  often becomes faulty because writers
  don’t make both parts of the sentence
  match up. (can’t use “reason is because”)

  – The reason little has been done to solve the
    problem is because Congress is deadlocked.
    • Revised: Little has been done to solve the
      problem because Congress is deadlocked.
          » OR
    • The reason little has been done to solve the
      problem is that Congress is deadlocked.

Eliminating shifts and mixed constructions

  • 1.
    Eliminating Shifts and Mixed Constructions Keeping your passengers comfortable
  • 2.
    Keeping your writingon the road… • Good writers avoid anything that makes the audience stop reading (or go back and re-read) – Shifts in person and number – Shifts in tense – Shifts in mood – Shifts in voice and subject – Shifts between direct and indirect quotes – Mixed constructions – Illogical constructions – Faulty predication (ooh—that sounds horrible!)
  • 3.
    Shifts in Personand Number • Person-occurs when pronouns are used Person in sentences about groups or unidentified people. (pronoun antecedent agreement) – When the researchers mixed the two chemicals, you saw a surprising reaction. – When the researchers mixed the two chemicals, they saw a surprising reaction.
  • 4.
    Shifts in Personand Number • Person-Some writers shift from the Person third person (he, she, it, one, they) to the second person. – With the cost of prescription drugs spiraling upward, you can see that regulation of the drug companies is inevitable. – With the cost of prescription drugs spiraling upward, one can see that regulation of the drug companies is inevitable.
  • 5.
    Shifts in Personand Number • Number shifts occur often when trying to avoid gender issues or when using indefinite pronouns. – Every employee sets their own pace. – Every employee sets his or her own pace. – Each has their duty. – Each has his or her duty. • Each has a duty.
  • 6.
    Shifts in Tense •Tense places the action of the verb in time. • Maintain an overall sense of tense () – When the letter arrived, it says nothing about the contract. • When discussing literature or art, use the present tense. – In The Glass Menagerie, Tom realizes how trapped he is after the Gentleman Caller departs.
  • 7.
    Shifts in Mood •When writing commands (imperative mood) and using the “you” understood subject—don’t shift back to indicative. (just read the following sentence) – First, cover your work surface with paper, and then you make sure your materials are within reach. – First, cover your work surface with paper, and then make sure your materials are within reach. • Second IC is also “you” understood
  • 8.
    Shifts in Voiceand Subject • Voice is either active or passive. – If the subject does it, it’s active. – If the subject is acted upon, it’s passive. • If a sentence has 2 verbs that share the same subject, it’s okay to shift voice (I know, we’re supposed to avoid it…) – The students completed the project first and were awarded the prize. • Completed is active, were awarded is passive— but since the one subject is students, it works.
  • 9.
    Shifts in Voiceand Subject • Avoid shifting from active to passive (or vice versa) if it requires a subject change. – As we peered out of the tent, the waning moon was seen through the trees. • Peered is active-subject we • Was seen is passive—subject the moon • This is also a dangling modifier. (re-write sentence) – As we peered out of the tent, we saw the waning moon through the trees.
  • 10.
    Shifts between Direct and Indirect Quotes • Careful use of quotation marks clarifies statements for the reader. – Direct quote—it came out of someone’s mouth just that way – He insisted that he loved his wife and cried, “Why did she leave me?”
  • 11.
    Shifts between Direct and Indirect Quotes • Indirect quote—repeating something that was said. – He insisted that he loved his wife and wondered why she had to leave him.him
  • 12.
    Shifts between Direct and Indirect Quotes • Consider the following: – Dr. Ryan claims that the play was composed before 1600 and that it was written by the hand of Shakespeare. – Dr. Ryan claims that the play was composed before 1600 and that it “shows the clear hand of Shakespeare.” – Dr. Ryan claims that the play was composed before 1600. He says, “It shows the clear hand of Shakespeare.”
  • 13.
    Mixed Constructions Revise for Clarity • A sentence that begins one way and then takes a turn in another way is a mixed construction: – By listening closely and paying attention to nonverbal signals helps a doctor make a better diagnosis. • By listening closely is a prep phrase-can’t be a subject • Revised: Listening closely and paying attention to nonverbal signals helps a doctor make a better diagnosis.
  • 14.
    Mixed Constructions Revise for Clarity • Clauses and other phrases are often misused as a subject. – Because the doctor is an expert does not mean a patient shouldn’t get a second opinion. • Because the doctor is an expert is a subordinate clause—can’t be the subject • Revised: The doctor’s status as an expert does not mean a patient shouldn’t get a second opinion.
  • 15.
    Mixed Constructions Revise for Clarity • Mixed constructions can happen with verbs, too. Main verbs of the sentence can’t be in verbal phrases or subordinate clauses. – The fact that most patients are afraid to ask questions which gives doctors complete control. • The verb give is in the sub-clause although it’s the main verb in the sentence. • Revised: The fact that most patients are afraid to ask questions gives doctors complete control.
  • 16.
    Illogical Constructions Revise for Clarity • Things that make your reader say, “Hmmm, I wonder what that is supposed to mean.” – The opinion of most people believe that dogs are better pets than cats. • Revised: Most people believe that dogs are better pets than cats. – Repeat offenders whose licenses have already been suspended for drunk driving will be revoked. • Revised: Repeat offenders whose licenses have already been suspended for drunk driving will have their licenses revoked. – CAREFUL PROOFREADING SHOULD CATCH THESE!
  • 17.
    Faulty Predication • Don’tuse a clause beginning with when, where or because after a linking verb. – Pop art is where an artist reproduces images from commercial products. • Revised: Pop art is based on images from commercial products. – Sudden death overtime is when the game is extended until one team scores. • Revised: In sudden-death overtime, the game is extended until one team scores.
  • 18.
    Faulty Predication • Thisis a tricky one: “The reason … is” often becomes faulty because writers don’t make both parts of the sentence match up. (can’t use “reason is because”) – The reason little has been done to solve the problem is because Congress is deadlocked. • Revised: Little has been done to solve the problem because Congress is deadlocked. » OR • The reason little has been done to solve the problem is that Congress is deadlocked.