This is a condensed slide deck from the second class of my Fall 2017 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

1. The art of
Photo by ezioman [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 2: CHANGE
Fall 2017

2. Change & mindset 15 mins
A conversation 30 mins
Goals & grit 15 mins
Another conversation 30 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

3. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
A reminder…

4. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
Working
agreements

5. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

6. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

7. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

8. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

9. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

10. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

11. Mental models
Photo by Carmelo Speltino [link]
Our perceptions shape reality
How we define experiences
How we see ourselves

12. Kurt Lewin & Edgar Schein
Why is change so hard?
Why do we resist it?
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

13. Behavior is stable
We’re frozen in patterns
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

14. Driving forces favor change
Restraining forces resist it
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

15. Patterns keep these forces balanced
Change requires unfreezing
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

16. Driving force = Survival anxiety
I must change in order to
to achieve my goals
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

17. Restraining force = Learning anxiety
Change means a new identity
or loss of self-esteem
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

18. Increase survival anxiety to change?
Or decrease learning anxiety?
Both are necessary
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

19. Three steps to unfreezing
1. Disconfirmation
Dissatisfaction created
by confounding data
Necessary but insufficient
(Dismissal, denial, blame)
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

20. Three steps to unfreezing
2. A little survival anxiety
Confounding data =
I need to change
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

21. Three steps to unfreezing
3. Psychological safety
Critical to overcoming
defensiveness & denial
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

22. Threat from survival anxiety must
be balanced by sufficient safety
to decrease learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

23. Change =
Psychological safety
Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

24. Photo by Mike Disharoon [link]
Carol Dweck, Stanford
A mental model about ourselves
How do we perceive our abilities?
How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset

25. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Abilities Inherent Plastic
Mistakes Flaws Opportunities
Response Negative Neutral

26. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Agency Diminished Heightened
Seeking Approval Challenges
Risk Averse Tolerant

27. Change, mindset
& self-coaching
Signs of a fixed or growth mindset?
Recognize it as a mental model
One to challenge or affirm

28. Change, mindset
A fixed mindset can be comforting
Letting go can be threatening
Change requires safety
& self-coaching

29. Change, mindset
Mistakes & setbacks = Learning opportunities
New attitude or behavior ≠ New identity
Self-definition = Work-in-progress
& self-coaching

30. A reminder...
Photo by zzpza [link]

31. Coaching tools
Photo by zzpza [link]

32. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

33. Coaching tools
Ask
Pure: Open-ended questions
Diagnostic: Focus their attention
Confrontational: Challenge their narrative

34. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen
Hearing ≠ Listening
Make them feel heard

35. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Not “Look on the bright side”
Or “My problem’s worse!”
Or “Here’s some advice”

36. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Avoid judgments
Sense & validate emotions
Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)

37. Photo by John Trainor [link]
Goals

38. When do goals support performance?
When we’re…
Able
Committed
Unconflicted
Goals

39. Goals
When do goals get in the way?
Learning > Performance
Threat = Counter-productive
Diminish enjoyment & motivation

40. Goals
Effective goals…
Generate feedback
Heighten commitment
Don’t obscure the big picture

41. Goals &
self-coaching
Goals ≠ Bad
Prescription medicine
Get curious about failure

42. Photo by Maria Ly [link]
Grit

43. Grit
Angela Duckworth, Univ. of Pennsylvania
Who succeeds and why?

44. Grit
Perseverance matters
Long-term stamina > Short-term intensity

45. Grit
Positive correlation with achievement
Negative correlation with talent
More talent = Less persistence?

46. Grit
Deliberate practice  Achievement
Grittier people practice more
Achievers = Talent + grit?

47. Grit &
Tentative findings
Growth mindset & optimism are key
Upcoming classes: Emotion & Resilience
self-coaching

48. Grit &
One conclusion…
Willpower alone is insufficient
We need help (structures, habits, routines)
self-coaching

49. To sum up
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Safety  Change  Growth mindset
A (potential) virtuous cycle
Grit may be a by-product

50. Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-engagement

51. Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-engagement
Our mental models of ourselves matter
An ongoing dialogue is essential
Coaching, journaling, reflection

52. For next time…
Photo by Jean-Etienne Minh-Duy Poirrier [link]

53. Photo by Philip Bird [link]
Attention

54. Bring your phones
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

55. Other items…
Slides will be posted on my site
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Today’s 1:1s in B206 (the usual room)