This is my deck from a workshop I led on self-coaching at Medallia in Palo Alto on May 26, 2016.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
May 26, 2016
@Medallia

2. Mental models & change 35 mins
Emotions & reasoning 20 mins
Emotion management 30 mins
Questions…
Agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

3. Who am I?
Executive coach
Instructor @StanfordBiz
Contributor @HarvardBiz

4. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Take questions
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

5. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

6. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

7. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

8. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

9. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

10. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of clients & MBA students
matters to me…

11. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 24 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

12. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Enhanced capabilities over time
Better choices in-the-moment
Self-directed ≠ Solitary
self-coaching?

13. An exercise
Photo by TechCocktail [link]

14. Getting to know
Photo by TechCocktail [link]
you

15. Finish these statements on your sheet…
Getting to know
you
I am ___________
I am ___________
I am ___________

16. Discuss your sheet with your partner
2 mins each way
Reflect
Getting to know
you

17. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

18. Discuss your sheets again
2 mins each way again
Challenge yourself
Getting to know
you

19. Why do that?
Photo by Juhan Sonin [link]

20. Why do that?
Build a partnership for today
Intimacy & vulnerability
Mental models

21. Mental models
Photo by Carmelo Speltino [link]

22. Mental models
Our perceptions shape reality
How we define experiences
How we see ourselves
Critical during times of change

23. Kurt Lewin & Edgar Schein
Why is change so hard?
Why do we resist it?
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

24. Behavior is stable
We’re frozen in patterns
Change requires unfreezing
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

25. Driving forces favor change
Restraining forces resist it
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

26. Driving force = Survival anxiety
I must change in order to
to achieve my goals
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

27. Restraining force = Learning anxiety
Change means a new identity
or loss of self-esteem
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

28. Increase survival anxiety to change?
Or decrease learning anxiety?
Both are necessary
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

29. Three steps to unfreezing
1. Disconfirmation
Dissatisfaction created
by confounding data
Necessary but insufficient
(Dismissal, denial, blame)
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

30. Three steps to unfreezing
2. A little survival anxiety
Confounding data =
I need to change
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

31. Three steps to unfreezing
3. Psychological safety
Critical to overcoming
defensiveness & denial
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

32. Threat from survival anxiety must
be balanced by sufficient safety
to decrease learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

33. Change =
Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Psychological safety
All factors influenced
by our mental models
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

34. Photo by Mike Disharoon [link]
Carol Dweck, Stanford
A mental model about ourselves
How do we perceive our abilities?
How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset

35. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Abilities Inherent Plastic
Mistakes Flaws Opportunities
Response Negative Neutral

36. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Agency Diminished Heightened
Seeking Approval Challenges
Risk Averse Tolerant

37. Change, mindset
& self-coaching
Signs of a fixed or growth mindset
Recognize it as a mental model
One to challenge or affirm

38. Change, mindset
A fixed mindset can be comforting
Letting go can be threatening
Change requires safety
& self-coaching

39. Change, mindset
Mistakes & setbacks = Learning opportunities
New attitude or behavior ≠ New identity
Self-definition = Work-in-progress
& self-coaching

40. Discuss with
When do I have a fixed mindset?
When do I have a growth mindset?
How does this impact my ability to change?
your partner

41. Another exercise
Photo by Christopher Michel [link]

42. Any feelings?
(Literally)
Physical sensations
Head, heart, hands, gut & anywhere else

43. Any feelings?
HAPPY
Content
Fulfilled
Joyful
CARING
Warm
Touched
Empathetic
EXCITED
Interested
Engaged
Energized
VULNERABLE
Embarrassed
Guilty
Ashamed
SAD
Down
Dejected
Hopeless
SCARED
Tense
Nervous
Anxious
ANGRY
Irritated
Resentful
Upset
INADEQUATE
Ineffective
Lacking
Weak

44. Discuss with
What did you feel?
your partner

45. Why do that?
Photo by Ken Stewart [link]

46. A premise
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
Emotions =
The heart of
self-coaching
(& a key to leadership)

47. Emotion
Photo by Jill M [link]

48. Emotion
Antonio Damasio, USC
What purpose do emotions serve?
What role do they play in reasoning?

49. Emotion
Emotions evolved to support survival
Uncontrolled emotion can lead us astray

50. Emotion

51. Emotion
Emotion is integral to reasoning
Essential for efficient decision-making

52. Emotion
Victor Johnston, New Mexico St.
“Discriminant hedonic amplifiers”
Boost signals in our mental landscape
This is why…

53. Emotions are
attention magnets
Photo by Garrett Mace [link]

54. Emotion
Joseph LeDoux, NYU
“A quick and dirty signal”
Neural pathways transmit emotion 2x
But speed has a price…

55. Emotion
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

56. Emotion
Rapid triggering
Reflexive responses
Sensing ≠ Comprehension

57. Emotional style
Richard Davidson, Univ. of Wisconsin
What is the neurological basis for emotion?

58. Photo courtesy University of Wisconsin [link]
Emotional style

59. Emotional style
Prefrontal cortex involved in emotion
Emotions tied to specific neural pathways

60. Emotional style
6 dimensions of emotional style
Rooted in measurable neurological activity

61. 1 more exercise
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Locate yourself on each spectrum
I’ll describe the extreme endpoints

62. Photo by Philip Bird [link]
Attention

63. Attention
Sharpness & clarity of focus
Ability to avoid distraction
Photo by Philip Bird [link]

64. Attention
Prefrontal cortex boosts & dampens signals
Photo by Philip Bird [link]

65. Attention
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Unfocused, may be Hyper-focused,
easily distracted or may lose awareness
impulsive or lack spontaneity

66. Photo by Vincent Lock [link]
Context-
sensitivity

67. Context-
Discern differences in social environments
Regulate responses accordingly
sensitivity
Photo by Vincent Lock [link]

68. Context-
Hippocampus activity
Connections between PFC & hippocampus
sensitivity
Photo by Vincent Lock [link]

69. Context-
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Difficulty discerning Highly sensitive to
social differences & minute differences in
acting accordingly social environment
sensitivity

70. Photo by Ivan Walsh [link]
Outlook

71. Outlook
Ability to sustain positive emotion
Photo by Ivan Walsh [link]

72. Outlook
Reward circuit = PFC & nucleus accumbens
Photo by Ivan Walsh [link]

73. Outlook
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Highly pessimistic, Highly optimistic,
difficulty sustaining may be resistant to
positive feelings negative data

74. Photo by Eric Richardson [link]
Recovery time

75. Recovery time
Speed of recovery from adverse experiences
Photo by Eric Richardson [link]

76. Recovery time
PFC activity
Connections between PFC & amygdala
Photo by Eric Richardson [link]

77. Recovery time
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Fast to recover, may Slow to recover,
fail to register or may feel defeated
learn from setbacks by minor setbacks

78. Photo by Seattle Yoga News [link]
Self-awareness

79. Self-awareness
Ability to perceive physical aspects of emotion
Photo by Seattle Yoga News [link]

80. Self-awareness
Insula activity
Photo by Seattle Yoga News [link]

81. Self-awareness
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Out of touch with Hyper-aware, may be
physical cues that distracted by physical
accompany emotion cues & emotions

82. Social intuition

83. Social intuition
Sense others’ emotional responses

84. Social intuition
Fusiform gyrus activity
Amygdala activity

85. Social intuition
•---------------------------------------------------------•
Puzzled by others’ Highly intuitive, may
responses, socially be overly sensitive to
obtuse or insensitive others’ responses

86. Discuss with
What are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses?
your partner

87. What’s optimal?
Photo by Sutha Kamal [link]

88. Emotion
Photo by Sharon Mollerus [link]
management

89. Emotion
NOT suppression
management

90. Emotion
1. Sense physically
2. Comprehend accurately
3. Articulate & express effectively
What helps?
management

91. Some tools
Photo by zzpza [link]

92. Some tools
Reframing
Self-soothing
Talking about feelings

93. Reframing
Photo by Rodrigo Baptista [link]

94. Reframing
Cognitive reappraisal
Kevin Ochsner, Columbia
James Gross & Rebecca Ray, Stanford
How do our thoughts influence our experience?

95. Reframing
The meanings we assign  Emotional response
Re-interpret a situation  Shift our emotions
Our mental models shape our experiences

96. Self-soothing
Photo by Amanda Patsopoulou [link]

97. Self-soothing
Physiological modification
Change our emotional state
Response modification
Choose how we express emotion

98. Self-soothing
Deeper, slower breaths
Speak more slowly & monitor tone
Sense our non-verbals & body language
Shift focus of our attention

99. Talking about
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
feelings

100. Talking about
feelings
Affect labeling
Disrupts negative emotion
Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion

101. Not rocket
science
Photo by Michael Seeley [link]

102. Not rocket
science
Easy to understand
Hard to put into practice
What can we do?

103. Get MESSy
Photo by Paul Colley [link]

104. Get MESSy
Mindfulness
Exercise
Sleep hygiene
Stress reduction

105. Get MESSy
Mindfulness

106. Mindfulness
Photo by Strevo [link]

107. Mindfulness
Non-judgmental
awareness
& acceptance
of experience

108. Mindfulness
The most powerful self-coaching tool
Critical to emotion management

109. Meditation?

110. Meditation

111. Meditation
A workout, not a break
Consistent practice is key
Try 1 minute per day & work up

112. To sum up
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]

113. To sum up
Mental models matter
Change requires safety
Mindset influences performance

114. To sum up
Emotions are attention magnets
Emotion management ≠ Suppression
Mindfulness = Essential for self-coaching

115. Questions?
Photo by Véronique Debord-Lazaro [link]

116. Thank you!
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
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