This is a condensed slide deck from my Fall 2019 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by Adam Kubalica [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
Class 6:
RESILIENCE
Fall 2019

2. Resilience
Much broader than Davidson
Karen Reivich & Andrew Shatté
Ability to persevere & adapt when things go awry

3. Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Small groups 35 mins
Resilience 25 mins
Stress 10 mins
A conversation 20 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda

4. Power
Image courtesy of TED [link]

5. Power
“Power pose” research has replication issues
Many open questions, but not groundless
Note the importance of physiology
How we feel (physically) 
How we feel (emotionally)

6. Resilience stories
Photo by Adam Kubalica [link]

7. Resilience stories
4 minutes per story
A volunteer begins each round
Timing is key—all groups transition together

8. Expressing
Insufficient time to respond at length
It is essential to acknowledge them
Reach out & say “thank you”
appreciation

9. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

10. Resilience
Photo by This Particular Greg [link]
elements

11. Resilience
Karen Reivich & Andrew Shatté
What constitutes resilience?
What is resilient behavior?
elements

12. Resilience
Emotion regulation
Impulse control
Optimism
Causal analysis
elements
Empathy
Self-efficacy
Reaching out

13. How were these
Emotion regulation
Impulse control
Optimism
Causal analysis
present just now?
Empathy
Self-efficacy
Reaching out

14. Crucible stories
Photo by Dave Hogg [link]

15. Crucible stories
Build connections
Surface mental models
How we make meaning of experience
Opportunities to manifest resilient behavior

16. Not a solitary
experience
Relationships are key
Have others bear witness
Requires practice & a culture

17. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
RQ assessment

18. As always…
Photo by Sue Clark [link]

19. As always…
“A map is not the territory it represents.”
~Alford Korzybski

20. RQ assessment
What are these results?
NOT aptitude or proficiency
Frequency of use & comfort level

21. RQ assessment
Awareness may begin to shift behavior
(As with a growth vs. fixed mindset)

22. What can we do?
Photo by Lydia [link]

23. What can we do?
Lower the waterline
Act in the moment
Build capacity

24. What can we do?
Lower the waterline
Act in the moment

25. Photo by Andrew Smith [link]
Lower the
waterline

26. Lower the
waterline
Continually expand our self-awareness
What are my tendencies under stress?
What new behaviors could I try?

27. Lower the
waterline
A key question in this course:
How will I do this in the future?
Assessments, feedback, coaching, journaling

28. Act in the
moment
Photo by Harald Groven [link]

29. Act in the
Reframing
Self-soothing
Talking about feelings
moment

30. Act in the
Reframing
moment

31. Remember me?
Photo by Rodrigo Baptista [link]

32. Reframing
The meanings we assign  Emotional response
Re-interpret a situation  Shift our emotions

33. Reframing
Concepts in Reivich & Shatté from CBT
Avoiding thinking traps
Challenging beliefs
Detecting icebergs
Learning ABCs

34. Thinking traps
Photo by Casey Fleser [link]

35. Thinking traps
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize (or externalize)
Magnify neg. & minimize pos.

36. Thinking traps
Tunnel vision  Big picture
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize (or externalize)
Magnify neg. & minimize pos.

37. Thinking traps
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize  Narrow focus
Jump to conclusions
Personalize (or externalize)
Magnify neg. & minimize pos.

38. Thinking traps
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions  Slow down
Personalize (or externalize)
Magnify neg. & minimize pos.

39. Thinking traps
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize (or externalize)  Look out (or in)
Magnify neg. & minimize pos.

40. Thinking traps
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize (or externalize)
Magnify neg. & minimize pos.  Balance

41. Icebergs
Photo by NOAA [link]

42. Icebergs
Assumptions & beliefs in 3 key areas
Achievement
Acceptance
Control
Strong emotions when challenged

43. Icebergs
What are my assumptions & beliefs regarding…
Achievement?
Acceptance?
Control?
What practices help me address these questions?

44. ABCs
Photo by O C Always [link]

45. ABCs
Adversity  Consequences*
*Emotional & behavioral response

46. ABCs
Adversity  Beliefs*  Consequences
*Mental models about self & the world

47. ABCs
Adversity  Beliefs  Consequences
What beliefs do I hold about myself?
What beliefs do I hold about adversity?
What beliefs do I hold about the situation?
What practices help me address these questions?

48. Reframing
All variations on the same theme
Identify, explore & challenge mental models

49. Explanatory style
Positive Events Negative Events
Optimism
Permanent
Pervasive
Personal
Temporary
Specific
External
Pessimism
Temporary
Specific
External
Permanent
Pervasive
Personal

50. Mental models
Photo by Carmelo Speltino [link]

51. Mental models
Our perceptions shape reality
How we define experiences
How we see ourselves

52. Resilience & its
Photo by Andres Nieto Porras [link]
absence

53. Resilience & its
Linda Graham
Why might we lack resilience?
Why might these behaviors be difficult for us?
absence

54. Resilience & its
Childhood & insecure attachment
Conditioned habits
Implicit memories
Negativity bias
Trauma
absence

55. Resilience & its
Sub-optimal conditioning is the human condition.
Must that be a permanent problem? No.
~Linda Graham
absence

56. Resilience & its
Childhood & life experiences matter…
…and change is eminently possible
Neuroplasticity is key
absence

57. Mindfulness
Photo by Strevo [link]

58. Mindfulness
OK
We got it
We’ll meditate
What else can we do?

59. Build capacity
Photo by Resolute Support Media [link]

60. Remember me?
Photo by Paul Colley [link]

61. Get MESSy
Photo by Paul Colley [link]

62. Get MESSy
Mindfulness
Exercise
Sleep hygiene
Stress reduction

63. Get MESSy
Stress

64. Emotion
Not rocket science
Hard to do under stress
Get MESSy to build capacity
management

65. Putting it together
Photo by Curtis McHale [link]

66. Putting it together
Which resilience strategies work for you now?
Which ones would you like to try?
Reflect

67. Stress
Photo by Sara V. [link]

68. Stress
Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness
How does stress contribute to growth?

69. Productivity
Photo by Gemma Stiles [link]

70. Productivity
Alternating periods of intense focus & rest
Note the importance of attention management

71. Photo by Mykl Roventine [link]
Mindset

72. Mindset
Growth mindset 
Struggle builds skills
Setbacks & failures are learning experiences

73. Another view
Photo by Sara V. [link]
of stress

74. A threat or
Photo by Sara V. [link]
a challenge?

75. A threat or
a challenge?
Kelly McGonigal & Alia Crum, Stanford
How we think about stress 
How we respond to stress
(Yet again: reframing)

76. Remember?
Emotional Arousal
Performance
Eustress Distress
(Not literally a bell curve)

77. How to reframe
Performance
Emotional Arousal
DistressEustress
stress?

78. Meta-emotion
Photo by Franco Folini [link]

79. Meta-emotion
An emotion arising in response to an emotion
How we feel about how we feel
How do we feel about stress?

80. A conversation
In what ways am I already resilient?
What practices would help?
The topic is up to you
But be rigorous about the coaching process

81. Debrief
What did I learn?
What do I want to try?

82. To sum up
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Resilience is dynamic & multi-dimensional
Focus on strengths & try new behaviors
Reframing & mental models are key

83. For next time…
Photo by losmininos [link]

84. Vulnerability
Photo by Philip Leara [link]

85. Vulnerability
Read Brené Brown & my post (2 videos)
TEDx on Vulnerability (20 mins)
Shame & Empathy (8 mins)

86. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Two exercises…

87. Another story…
Experiences that involve feelings of vulnerability
Embarrassment, remorse, guilt, shame
Use the sheet to identify 5 stories
You’ll choose which one to tell
4 minutes to tell it

88. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Meta-Emotions
Worksheet

89. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Meta-Emotions
Complete AFTER doing the readings
Worksheet

90. Looking ahead…
Photo by ernestkoe [link]

91. Looking ahead…
Vulnerability, Unhappiness, Success
Less normative, more subjective
Less research, more application

92. Other items…
Happy Halloween!
Slides will be posted on my site
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Today’s 1:1s in B206 (the usual location)