Here are three legitimate thesis statements: 1) Social media platforms should implement stricter privacy policies to protect minors' personal information because current policies do not adequately safeguard children from sharing details that could be used to identify them or exploit them online. 2) Colleges and universities should require all students to take at least one course in financial literacy in order to equip them with essential money management skills that will help them avoid debt and plan financially for life after graduation. 3) Strict gun control laws that include universal background checks, assault weapons bans, and limits on high-capacity magazines would significantly reduce mass shootings in the United States by restricting access to the most deadly firearms. Here are three faulty thesis statements with

1. The Art of the
Thesis Statement
Professor Harbinson
English
June 2, 2016

2. Before writing an essay, ask yourself:
* What is the topic?
* What is my position on the topic?
* Why is my topic important?
* How will I structure my paper?

3. All of these questions will be answered
by your THESIS STATEMENT. The
Thesis Statement alerts readers to not
only the importance, but also the
structure, of your essay. It is a single
sentence that appears at the end of
your introductory paragraph.
“Why am I reading this and what is it about?”

4. Types of essays…
Narrative (tells a story)
Expository (informs the reader)
Research (presents findings)
Argumentative (chooses a side)
Many papers that require a Thesis
Statement will be ARGUMENTATIVE.

5. A Thesis Statement is a complete
sentence that contains the topic of every
body paragraph.
EXAMPLE: In order to truly appreciate cosmetology, one
must understand the history of the subject, the skills involved
and the educational requirements.
From this statement, we can tell that the body paragraphs will
cover: 1) history, 2) skills and 3) education IN THAT
ORDER!

6. How to plan your paper:
* Freewrite
* Bullet points (topics)
* Idea maps
* Venn diagrams
Try to come up with specific topics/arguments that
strengthen your paper the most.

7. Ask yourself:
* What aspects of my topic are most interesting?
* What is my educated opinion?
* For what arguments to I have the most evidence?
* Could I successfully defend my argument against
counterclaims? Or do I need more information?

8. A Thesis Statement should NOT be…
* A question, rhetorical or otherwise
* A topic without a position
* A simple statement of purpose (“In this paper, I
will…”)
* A topic that is too broad and/orvague

9. BAD EXAMPLE #1
“Why is it a good thing to recycle?”
** This is a poor Thesis Statement because it covers a topic that
is too broad, does not take a position, and does not alert the
reader to the paper’s structure. **

10. BAD EXAMPLE #2
“Abortion in the United States.”
** This doesn’t even take a position on a highly-controversial
topic! It is simply a heading with no purpose or goal. **

11. BAD EXAMPLE #3
“In this paper, I will describe the effects of global warming
on climate change.”
** This is a poor Thesis Statement because it is simply a statement of
purpose. This is redundant and unnecessary. Like the above examples, it
does not outline the paper’s basic structure and does not take a position.
**

12. BAD EXAMPLE #4
“Crime in the United States has many causes.”
** This is a poor Thesis Statement because it is WAY too
broad. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of reasons people
commit crimes in America! Topics should be as NARROW
and SPECIFIC as possible. **

13. GOOD EXAMPLE #1
“Teen pregnancy can be reduced with good
education, parental support and birth
control.”
** This is a good Thesis Statementbecause it chooses a position
that can be defended. It also outlines the paper’s structure. **

14. GOOD EXAMPLE #2
“At least 25% of the federal budget should be spent on
helping upgrade businesses to clean technologies,
researching renewable energy sources, and planting
more trees in order to eliminate pollution.”
** Look at the specifics here—this topic is fine-tunedand
straightforward. It takes a clear position. **

15. EXAMPLE #3
“Eliminating fast food is bad and should be avoided.”
“Americans should eliminate the regular consumption
of fast food because the fast food diet leads to
preventable and expensive health issues, such as
diabetes, obesity and heart disease.”

16. EXAMPLE #4
“There is a high number of homeless people living in
Berkeley, CA.”
“Homeless people in Berkeley should be given access
to services, such as regular food donations, public
restrooms, and camping facilities, because it would
improve life for all inhabitants of the city.”

17. One GRAMMAR issue…
What is wrong with this Thesis Statement?
“In order to understand psychology, one must
watch scientific videos, read books and
interviews.”

18. This is FAULTY PARALLELISM.
In the previous statement, we have the verbs
“watch” and “read,” but there is no third verb.
“In order to understand psychology, one must
watch scientific videos, read books and listen to
interviews.”

19. FAULTY PARALLELISM #2:
“In psychology, one must analyze people’s
actions, dreams and ask them questions.”
CORRECT: “In psychology, one must
analyze people’s actions, dreams and
responses to questions.”
** In this example, all three aspects must follow the verb
analyze.”

20. Now for some practice…
1) Come up with three legitimate
Thesis Statements that fulfill all
requirements.
2) Come up with three faulty Thesis
Statements and explain, briefly, what is
wrong with each one.