The document is a guide for Wyoming's farmers and ranchers on estate planning, emphasizing the importance of personal possessions and the emotional complexities involved in their distribution. It outlines strategies for making decisions about personal items, encourages family discussions on values and fairness, and suggests various methods for property division. The aim is to facilitate a smooth transition of possessions while preserving family relationships and cultural heritage.

1. Bill Taylor
Northeast Area Community Development Educator
UW Extension
The University of Wyoming is an equal
opportunity/affirmative action
institution.
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2. 
PLANNING AHEAD; DIFFICULT DECISIONS

Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate? A
Guide to Passing on Personal Possessions
University of Wyoming Extension bulletin
series; September 2013; Aaron Lyttle, Cole
Ehmke, Mary Martin, Bill Taylor; available at
http://www.wyomingextension.org/publicatio
ns and enter Lyttle as author
(1999) University of Minnesota. MI-6686-WG.
800-876-8636.
www.yellowpieplate.umn.edu/
University of Wyoming
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3. 
Passing It On: An Estate Planning Resource
Guide for Wyoming’s Farmers and Ranchers;
published by the Wyoming Agriculture &
Natural Resource Mediation Program and the
University of Wyoming Extension, February
2011
University of Wyoming
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4. 
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We all have personal items that are important
or precious to us or to those that are
associated with us
In estate planning, personal items are often
ignored, yet they may cause some of the
most significant emotions and conflicts
University of Wyoming
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5. 
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Personal items that do not have a registered
title, such as land or vehicles
Non-titled property includes items like:
Guns, sports equipment
Tools
Furniture
Books, papers
Dishes
Collections
Hobby or handmade items
Linens, needlework, quilts
Clothes
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Jewelry
Tack
Photos, pictures
Personal care items
Antiques
Gifts
Toys
Musical instruments
Anything with emotional
and/or economic value
University of Wyoming
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6. 
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Inheritance is not simply an economic and
legal issue and personal items are a major
part of the process
Complex emotional and family relationships
impact decision making
Inheritance decisions concerning personal
property involve economic and emotional
consequences and can enhance or destroy
family continuity
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7. 
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There tends to be less stress and emotion if a
plan is developed before death
While property holder is of clear mind and
sound health, if possible
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8. 
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Sentimental meanings make decisions more
emotional
Objects involve the process of grieving and
saying goodbye
Objects help preserve memories, family
history and family rituals
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9. 
Being “fair” is more complex:
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Personal belongings have different meanings
Difficult to measure worth or value
Impossible to divide items “equally”
Unresolved conflicts may interfere w/ objective
decisions
Distribution methods and consequences are
less-clear
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10. 
Who is involved?
◦ Children? Spouses? Grandchildren? Siblings? Others?
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How do we proceed?
◦ Who is informed and when? How is a value
established for each item? Can long-distance
methods be used?
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When do we proceed?
◦ Does everyone have to be present?
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What methods and standards should be used
to maintain consistency?
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11. Family members will consider the process
unfair if they feel moral and ethical standards
are not followed or they have no voice in the
decisions
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12. 
These are sensitive issues
◦ Will create internal stress even in well adjusted
families
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Include family discussions & conferences
◦ Values & goals
◦ What is “fair” versus “equal”?
◦ What is important to the family? To the person who
will pass on the personal items?
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13. 
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Select meeting place & time
Designate someone to record decisions made
◦ Unrecorded decisions will be a source of
disagreement later
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Who is included?
◦ Parents & siblings only?
◦ Do siblings act as representative for spouses &
grandchildren?
◦ Include spouses? Grandchildren? Other family
members?
◦ What about friends, significant others, exspouses, caregivers, attorneys, mediators?
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14. 
Determine shared goals:
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Maintaining privacy?
Improving family relationships?
Being fair to all involved?
Preserving memories?
Contributing to society?
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15. 
Provide everyone involved with a copy of
Rules for Deciding Who Receives Which Items
ahead of time and then discuss the questions
one by one at the meeting
◦ Try to reach consensus
 If necessary, go ahead to inventorying items, and then
come back to those questions creating differences
*Handout: Rules for Deciding Who
Receives Which Items
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16. 
Other questions for consideration:
◦ Are there other goals beyond those that were listed
that you feel are important?
◦ Which goals are the most important to you and
which least important?
◦ Do any of your own goals conflict? Do any of the
goals of family members conflict?
◦ Are there others (other owners, other family
members) that need to have input into these goals?
There is no perfect method – stay
focused on your goals
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17. 
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Final decision for disposition – property
owner(s)
Once potential heirs are given opportunity to
express wishes, they should respect decision
of those passing on their “stuff”
Family relationships and continuity
are VASTLY more important than
the possession of “stuff.”
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18. University of Wyoming
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19. 
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Owners and recipients work together
Start in one location –
house, barn, garage, etc.
◦ Work systematically from one end to the other
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Don’t overlook items
◦ Some will be important to owners, some to
recipients, some to both, some to neither
 You won’t know without looking at each item
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20. 
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Leave last two columns (“Requested By” and
“Agreed Receiver”) blank for now
Work from room to room, building to
building
Most people don’t think they have much, but
once the inventory starts it may take multiple
days
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21. 
Provide copy of inventory to recipients
◦ From previous discussions:
 Do all extended family members get a copy and a
voice?
 Do siblings act as a representative for their spouses
and children?
 Does the owner make the determination w/o any
requests?
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22. 
Final decision belongs to owner, but usually
best to encourage communication from
potential recipients
◦ We often don’t know what is important to others
◦ The item which created the most difficulty in my
parent’s property dispersion was the cribbage
board desired by two granddaughters, because they
both treasured the memory of playing cribbage with
their grandfather.
University of Wyoming
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23. 
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Family members mark those items they desire
in “Requested BY” column w/ their initials
Transfer all requests to a master list
◦ Some items will have multiple requests
◦ Some items will have one request
◦ Some items will have no requests
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24. 
This is usually the responsibility of the owner
if they are physically & mentally capable
◦ If not capable or deceased, responsibility will fall to
appointed personal representative
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Items w/ one or no requests can be decided
relatively easily
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25. 
For items that are requested by multiple
persons, some decision format must be used
◦ Owner might consider each item and those
requesting it and allocate items according to their
own values and desires
◦ Alternative methods:
 Shake dice
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High roller – 1st choice
Second high – 2nd choice
After going around, reverse the order of those choosing
After everyone has chosen twice, roll again for a new order
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26. ◦ Alternative methods
(cont.):
 Draw
 Each draws number, straw, card, etc. which determines
choice order as with dice
 Private Auction
 Family buys items in auction using real or “funny”
money, marbles, chips.
 Real money goes to owner or estate
 Real money allows richer family members to have an
advantage
 Silent Auction
 Written bids placed on items
 Real or substitute money can be used as in private auction
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27. 
Alternative methods (cont.):
◦ Grouping preference
 Selection begins w/ oldest, proceeds to youngest
 Males first, then females
 Etc.
◦ Generation preference
 Priority given to
parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, blood
relatives, etc.
◦ Others
 Public auction, yard sale, estate sale, etc.
 Proceeds to owner or divided by agreed on formula
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28. 
Gift the items immediately
◦ Not usually practical for all items if the owner is still
living
◦ Some items could be distributed now, if owner is willing
to part with them
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Items to be distributed later
◦ Complete Personal Property Memorandum
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Binding document
Must be referred to in will
Keep on file w/ will or other legal documents
List each item & name, address, & relationship of recipient
Each page must be signed & dated
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29. University of Wyoming
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30. 
For items removed or added to list
◦ Sign & date new page with changes
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31. 
Personal items preserve and carry forward the
family culture and heritage
◦ Tell stories about the family and the
source, use, importance of items as they are
inventoried, assigned and gifted
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Use the estate planning process as a way to
pass on, not only animate objects, but a
sense of the past, the values, and the history
of the family
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32. University of Wyoming
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