The document discusses feedback received on draft scripts for a short film. For the first draft, improvements were suggested such as centralizing dialogue and adjusting a line of dialogue to sound more polite. Another suggestion was to put character emotions next to their names rather than underneath. For the second draft, feedback included adding more background on a character and adjusting dialogue to seem more realistic.

1. 04/12/18
DRAFT 1 – FEEDBACK & IMPROVEMENTS
After meeting with the client I received some feedback on my first drafting of a script for my
short filmwith improvements that should be made to make the script more professional.
Some suggested improvements were to change the layout of the dialogue to centralise it.
This would help in the production of the filmwhere they are shooting. I was have been
advised to adjust the text on page two at the end of the call where Jane says "ok, speak to
you later" to something a bit more polite since the client felt she would be more grateful
considering her husband had just died.
Another improvement to be made is to put the emotions such as (sniffling) next to the name
of the character rather than underneath.
06/12/18
DRAFT 2 – FEEDBACK & IMRPOVEMENTS
Based on my second conversation with the client regarding my second draft script for my
short film, the client suggested adding a bit more information on Kate at the beginning
when first introducing the character. In the first section I have explained the age of Kate and
what she is wearing.
The client also thought that the first conversation between Kate and Jane was interesting
since the motive of the conversation is portrayed well – she wanted the documents rather
than actually caring for her.
She also suggested that in the second phone call I should adjust the dialogue where Jane is
asking how Kate wants to remember her late husband. This is to make it seem more
realistic.
DRAFT 3 – FEEDBACK AND IMPROVEMENTS