2. 2-WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?2-WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?
Assertiveness is about selfAssertiveness is about self
confidence which means havingconfidence which means having
a positive attitude towardsa positive attitude towards
yourself and others.yourself and others.
3. Being AssertiveBeing Assertive
1-Being assertive is focusing on your1-Being assertive is focusing on your
goalgoal
2-Being assertive is being self-aware2-Being assertive is being self-aware
3-Being assertive is being true to3-Being assertive is being true to
yourselfyourself
4-Being assertive is building self4-Being assertive is building self
esteemesteem
5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself.5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself.
6-6-Showing respects toShowing respects toyour rights andyour rights and
others rightsothers rights
4.
5. Negative attitude andNegative attitude and
passive behaviourpassive behaviour
Lack of self confidence and low selfLack of self confidence and low self
esteemesteem
Lack of self respectLack of self respect
Self putdownsSelf putdowns
Negative feelings and thoughts aboutNegative feelings and thoughts about
yourselfyourself
Feeliings of inferiority compared to othersFeeliings of inferiority compared to others
Like others to be in control of people andLike others to be in control of people and
situationssituations
Feel guilty towards othersFeel guilty towards others
demotivateddemotivated
6. Negative attitude andNegative attitude and
manipulative behaviourmanipulative behaviour
Lack of self confidence and low self esteemLack of self confidence and low self esteem
Lack of self respect and lack of respect forLack of self respect and lack of respect for
othersothers
Mistrustful and suspicious of others’ motivesMistrustful and suspicious of others’ motives
Negative feelings and thoughts about selfNegative feelings and thoughts about self
and othersand others
Feel very wary towards othersFeel very wary towards others
Dishonest and indirectDishonest and indirect
Twist what others have saidTwist what others have said
Undermine others’ self esteemUndermine others’ self esteem
Depressed and demotivatedDepressed and demotivated
7. Negative attitude andNegative attitude and
aggressive behaviouraggressive behaviour
Lack of self confidence and low self esteemLack of self confidence and low self esteem
Lack of respect towards othersLack of respect towards others
Put others downPut others down
Feelings of superiorityFeelings of superiority
Like to be in control of people and situationsLike to be in control of people and situations
Disinterested in others’ thoughts and feelingsDisinterested in others’ thoughts and feelings
Feel angry towards others and are quick to blameFeel angry towards others and are quick to blame
themthem
Don’t listen to or ask questionsDon’t listen to or ask questions
Dismissive of feedbackDismissive of feedback
8. Positive attitude andPositive attitude and
assertive behaviourassertive behaviour
Self confidence and high self esteemSelf confidence and high self esteem
Respect for self and towards othersRespect for self and towards others
Take responsibility for selfTake responsibility for self
Motivated to do a good jobMotivated to do a good job
İnterested in others’ feelings andİnterested in others’ feelings and
thoughtsthoughts
Ask questionsAsk questions
Honest and directHonest and direct
Listen to othersListen to others
Ask others for feedbackAsk others for feedback
9. 7-HUMAN ASSERTIVE RIGHTS7-HUMAN ASSERTIVE RIGHTS
The right to expressThe right to express sexualitysexuality
The right to have needs and desiresThe right to have needs and desires
The right to have informationThe right to have information
The right to have goods or services which haveThe right to have goods or services which have
been paidbeen paid
The right to be independent and to be left aloneThe right to be independent and to be left alone
The right to say noThe right to say no
The right to be treated with respectThe right to be treated with respect
10. Why is it difficult to say no?Why is it difficult to say no?
If I say no,they may feel hurt or injectedIf I say no,they may feel hurt or injected
If I say no this time, they may not like meIf I say no this time, they may not like me
anymoreanymore
If I say no this time,they may never ask againIf I say no this time,they may never ask again
They won’t take any notice if I say noThey won’t take any notice if I say no
They would say ‘yes’ to me (and so I will feelThey would say ‘yes’ to me (and so I will feel
guilty if I refuse them)guilty if I refuse them)
I can’t say no, because I feel sorry for themI can’t say no, because I feel sorry for them
11. How to say ‘no’ assertively?How to say ‘no’ assertively?
Start your reply with aStart your reply with a
clear,firm,audible ‘no’clear,firm,audible ‘no’
Do not justify or makeDo not justify or make
excuses.Giving a reason is differentexcuses.Giving a reason is different
from over-appologizingfrom over-appologizing
Feel that you have a right to say noFeel that you have a right to say no
Once you have said ‘no’ , do not stayOnce you have said ‘no’ , do not stay
around waiting to be persuaded toaround waiting to be persuaded to
change your mind.Make a definitechange your mind.Make a definite
closure by changing theclosure by changing the
subject,walking away, continiuingsubject,walking away, continiuing
with what you are doing-whatever iswith what you are doing-whatever is
appropriateappropriate
12. How to say ‘no’ assertively?How to say ‘no’ assertively?
Remember you are saying ‘no’ to thatRemember you are saying ‘no’ to that
particular request,not rejecting theparticular request,not rejecting the
personperson
If the request takes you unawares orIf the request takes you unawares or
you have not sufficent time to thinkyou have not sufficent time to think
when asked,you can always say, ‘I willwhen asked,you can always say, ‘I will
let you know’ in order to give yourselflet you know’ in order to give yourself
time to think about what you want totime to think about what you want to
saysay
Take responsibility for saying no-do notTake responsibility for saying no-do not
blame the other person for asking youblame the other person for asking you
Ask for more information if you need itAsk for more information if you need it
in order to decide whether you want toin order to decide whether you want to
say ‘yes’ or ‘no’say ‘yes’ or ‘no’
13. Why is it difficult to say ‘yes’?Why is it difficult to say ‘yes’?
I don’t deserve itI don’t deserve it
They might not really mean itThey might not really mean it
I am not really sure that is what I wantI am not really sure that is what I want
I don’t have enough informationI don’t have enough information