Writing cohesion

COHESION: Reference words
www.slideshare.net/pietvanderlaan/cohesion-reference-words adapted

REFERENCE WORDS INCLUDE:
• it / they / them
• this / that
• these / those
• the former / the latter /
respectively
• who /which / that
• one / ones
• such

REFERENCE WORDS ARE USED TO:
• refer back to people, objects and ideas
that have been mentioned earlier, or
• refer forward to people, objects and
ideas that will be mentioned later.
These words allow the writer to avoid
repeating words, paragraphs, and
sometimes whole sentences.

IT / THEY / THEM
Used to replace subjects / ideas
previously mentioned
Example:
Relocating the research facility would seem
sensible.
It would save the company a considerable
amount of money each year.
Relocating the research facility would seem
sensible.
It would save the company a considerable
amount of money each year.

Bavaria is an attractive region in which to live.
It has mountains and lakes, and is close to the
ski resorts in Germany and Austria.
IT / THEY / THEM
Bavaria is an attractive region in which to live.
It has mountains and lakes, and is close to the
ski resorts in Germany and Austria.

We have received large numbers of reports
about the economic outlook in Japan. We are
studying them carefully. They contain useful
marketing information.
IT / THEY / THEM
We have received large numbers of reports
about the economic outlook in Japan. We are
studying them carefully. They contain useful
marketing information.

THIS / THAT / THESE / THOSE
THIS & THESE are used to refer to objects /
ideas that are near in place or time.
For example, ‘this/these proposal(s)’ mean(s)
the one(s) just made or about to be made.
THAT & THOSE are used to refer to objects /
ideas that are more remote in place or time.

At our recent meeting, you suggested we
establish a joint venture in Japan. This
seems to be an attractive proposal, and I
should like to discuss it with you further.
At our recent meeting, you suggested we
establish a joint venture in Japan. This seems
to be an attractive proposal, and I should like to
discuss it with you further.

Thank you for sending me some samples of
your products. These are being inspected by
our engineers and we expect to make a
purchase order in the near future.
Thank you for sending me some samples
of your products. These are being
inspected by our engineers and we expect to
make a purchase order in the near future.

The Prime minister was accused in the press
of wishing to increase taxation. That is not
the policy of the government, however, and
the press reports are incorrect.
The Prime minister was accused in the press
of wishing to increase taxation. That is
not the policy of the government, however,
and the press reports are incorrect.

Queries from customers are dealt with by the
Customer Services Department. Those who
complain receive an answer within 24 hours.
Queries from customers are dealt with by the
Customer Services Department. Those who
complain receive an answer within 24 hours.

When you have written about 2 subjects/2
ideas, you may then wish to refer to them again
in the next sentence.
If you write ‘it’ or ‘he’, the reader may not
understand which of the 2 you are referring to.
THE FORMER / THE LATTER

You can use:
•‘the former’ which refers to the 1st mentioned
of 2 items
•‘the latter’ which refers to the 2nd mentioned
of 2 items
•‘respectively’ which refers to each of the items
in the order in which they were written, the
former, then the latter

Last week , we experienced production
problems at our plants in Leeds and London. At
the former, there was a two-day strike by the
workers. At the latter, there was a machine
breakdown. Output, as a percentage of normal
capacity at these factories was 60% and 75%
respectively.
Last week , we experienced production
problems at our plants in Leeds and London. At
the former, there was a two-day strike by the
workers. At the latter, there was a machine
breakdown. Output, as a percentage of normal
capacity at these factories was 60% and 75%
respectively.

We will be visited on Tuesday 12 March by Mr.
Laclos and Mr. Ibsen. The former is Managing
Director of our operation in France and Italy.
We will be visited on Tuesday 12 March by Mr.
Laclos and Mr. Ibsen. The former is Managing
Director of our operation in France and Italy.

Our new 6 series and 8 series models sell for
60,000 US dollars and 100,000 US dollars
respectively.
Our new 6 series and 8 series models sell for
60,000 US dollars and 100,000 US dollars
respectively.

‘Who’ refers only to people.
‘Which’ refers to things or ideas.
‘That’ refers to people, things or ideas, and
can be used instead of who and which.
WHO / WHICH / THAT

Examples:
Thank you for your letter of 25 October, which I
received today.
A dispute has arisen between management and the
sales staff who think that they are being asked to do
too much.
At the conference, Mr. Naumann will talk about the
developments that are taking place in the company.
WHO / WHICH / THAT

‘WHICH’ can be used with
‘ALL of’, ‘SOME OF’ or ‘NONE
OF’ to qualify the amount / # of
things being referred to.
WHO / WHICH / THAT

The computers, all of which have been
upgraded, will be in use from the beginning of
next month.
The goods, some of which have been
dispatched already, should all have arrived by
next Friday.
The prices, none of which has been changed,
are listed in the brochure.
WHO / WHICH / THAT

‘One’ (singular) or ‘ones’ (plural) can be
used as a substitute for a noun that has
previously been mentioned.
ONE / ONES
Example: There are two relevant laws. The most
important one refers to the rates of tax
applicable.
Example: There are two relevant laws. The most
important one refers to the rates of tax
applicable.

I have quite a large number of 35 millimeter
slides that you could borrow. I can let you have
any of the ones I don’t need myself.
ONE / ONES
I have quite a large number of 35 millimeter
slides that you could borrow. I can let you have
any of the ones I don’t need myself.

‘One of which’ can be used to refer
to an item from a number of previously
mentioned items.
ONE / ONES
Example: There are many problems to
overcome, one of which is the security issue.
Example: There are many problems to
overcome, one of which is the security issue.

‘One of whom’ can be used to refer
to one person from a number of
previously mentioned people.
ONE / ONES
Example: There are 3 new production assistants,
one of whom is a French graduate.
Example: There are 3 new production assistants,
one of whom is a French graduate.

SUCH
‘Such’ refers to things or people of a similar
type to ones previously mentioned.
Example: Profits form selling investments are
capital gains. Such gains are taxable at a rate of
40%.
Example: Profits form selling investments are
capital gains. Such gains are taxable at a rate of
40%.

COHESION: Linking Words & Phrases
REINFORCEMENT / ADDITION
•Desktop computers are cheaper and more reliable
than laptops; furthermore, they are more flexible.
26
Also Furthermore Moreover
Besides What is more In addition
Above all In the same way As well (as)
Not only ... but also
REINFORCEMENT / ADDITION
In the first place, no "burning" in the sense of combustion, as
in the burning of wood, occurs in a volcano; moreover,
volcanoes are not necessarily mountains; furthermore, the
activity takes place not always at the summit but more
commonly on the sides or flanks; and finally, the "smoke" is
not smoke but condensed steam. (Fred Bullard, Volcanoes in
History)

RESULT/CONSEQUENCE
•Prices fell by more than 20% last year. As a result,
sales increased by 15%.
27
RESULT/CONSEQUENCE
The ideologue is often brilliant. Consequently some of us
distrust brilliance when we should distrust the ideologue.
(Clifton Fadiman)

GENERALISING
•On the whole, his speech was well received, despite
some complaints from new members.
28
usually

CONCESSION / CONTRAST
It was a very expensive holiday, the weather was bad
and the people weren’t very friendly. Nevertheless,
we would probably go back to the same place.
.
29
Every American, to the last man, lays claim to a “sense” of
humor and guards it as his most significant spiritual trait, yet
rejects humor as a contaminating element wherever found.
America is a nation of comics and comedians; nevertheless,
humor has no stature and is accepted only after the death of
the perpetrator. (E. B. White)
The South East of the UK often has the coldest
weather in the winter. Conversely, the North
West of Scotland frequently has the mildest
temperatures.

30
CAUSE / EFFECT
The ideologue is often brilliant. Consequently some of
us distrust brilliance when we should distrust the
ideologue. (Clifton Fadiman)

COMPARISON
When you start with a portrait and search for a pure form, a
clear volume, through successive eliminations, you arrive
inevitably at the egg. Likewise, starting with the egg and
following the same process in reverse, one finishes with the
portrait. (Pablo Picasso)
31

CONCLUSION / SUMMARY
Reporters are not paid to operate in retrospect. Because
when news begins to solidify into current events and finally
harden into history, it is the stories we didn’t write, the
questions we didn’t ask that prove far, far more damaging
than the ones we did. (Anna Quindlen)
32

INSISTENCE
The joy of giving is indeed a pleasure, especially
when you get rid of something you don’t want.
(Frank Butler, Going My Way)
33

RESTATEMENT
Anthropologist Geoffrey Gorer studied the few peaceful
human tribes and discovered one common characteristic: sex
roles were not polarized. Differences of dress and occupation
were at a minimum. Society in other words, was not using
sexual blackmail as a way of getting women to do cheap
labor, or men to be aggressive. (Gloria Steinem, "What It
Would Be Like If Women Win")
34

TIME
At first a toy, then a mode of transportation for the
rich, the automobile was designed as man's
mechanical servant. Later it became part of the
pattern of living.
35

TRANSITION WORD EXERCISE
Choose the best alternative
1. Polls show that Tony Blair is the most
popular Prime Minister this century. In
particular, / However / For Instance there are
even members of his own party who are
uneasy with his approach.
36
1. Polls show that Tony Blair is the most
popular Prime Minister this century.
HOWEVER there are even members of his
own party who are uneasy with his
approach.

2. There are some slight variations in
temperature, but consequently / otherwise /
as a rule 26 to 27ºC should be expected.
3. The two main Channel Islands, for example /
namely / in particular Jersey and Guernsey, are
much closer to France than to England.
4. It was announced that nurses' working hours
would be increased by 25%. As a result / So
that / Likewise, even fewer trainee nurses
are expected to join the profession. 37
2. There are some slight variations in
temperature, but AS A RULE 26 to 27ºC
should be expected.
3. The two main Channel Islands, NAMELY
Jersey and Guernsey, are much closer to
France than to England.
4. It was announced that nurses' working
hours would be increased by 25%. AS A
RESULT, even fewer trainee nurses are
expected to join the profession.

5. Sales of CDs have experienced a small but
steady fall over the past 12 months. Above all /
Correspondingly / In contrast, vinyl records
have seen an increase in their share of the
market, up to 1.7%.
6. The Chancellor explained that in light of the
current financial climate & because of
unexpected bad debts, it would be necessary to
peg salary levels at their current level for all
grades of staff. Nevertheless / In other words /
Similarly, no-one was getting a pay rise.38
5. Sales of CDs have experienced a small
but steady fall over the past 12 months. IN
CONTRAST, vinyl records have seen an
increase in their share of the market, up to
1.7%.6. The Chancellor explained that in light of
the current financial climate & because of
unexpected bad debts, it would be
necessary to peg salary levels at their
current level for all grades of staff. IN
OTHER WORDS, no-one was getting a pay
rise.

7. It is clear, therefore, that the situation in
Brazil will improve only slowly. Furthermore /
In comparison / With reference to the
economic problems being experienced in Japan,
the outlook is slightly more optimistic.
8. In order to try to reduce car use in the inner
cities, the government has announced new
restrictions on company parking spaces and as
well as / in addition / in the same way, a new
tax on individual car use.
39
7. It is clear, therefore, that the situation in
Brazil will improve only slowly. WITH
REFERENCE to the economic problems
being experienced in Japan, the outlook is
slightly more optimistic.
8. In order to try to reduce car use in the
inner cities, the government has
announced new restrictions on company
parking spaces and IN ADDITION, a new
tax on individual car use.

9. Essays must be handed in by the deadline,
obviously / otherwise / as a result they will not
be marked.
10. Nevertheless / Because / Even though it
has been shown that fractures can occur at
even relatively low pressures, the use of the
material should not be completely discounted.
40
9. Essays must be handed in by the
deadline, OTHERWISE they will not be
marked.
10. EVEN THOUGH it has been shown that
fractures can occur at even relatively low
pressures, the use of the material should
not be completely discounted.

Exercise 2
INSTRUCTIONS:
•In the following short passages, pick out the
transitional words and phrases that are used to
provide cohesion.
41
IDENTIFYING TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS

1. Very often I must wait weeks and weeks
for what you call "inspiration." In the
meantime I must sit with my quill pen
poised in the air over a sheet of foolscap,
in case the divine spark should come like a
lightning bolt and knock me off my chair on
to my head. ("How I Create," by Robert Benchley)
2. For nonconformity the world whips you
with its displeasure. And therefore a man
must know how to estimate a sour face.42
In the meantime
I
And therefore a man must

3. Well, what I mean by Education is learning the
rules of this mighty game. In other words, education
is the instruction of the intellect in the laws of Nature,
under which name I include not merely things and
their forces, but men and their ways... ("A Liberal
Education," by Thomas Henry Huxley)
4. What has been gained for the systematic teaching
of composition and literature will not, I trust, be lost.
Besides, the older grammatical teaching must give
way to something more accurate, more interesting,
and more effective. ("The Teaching of English Grammar,"
by Oliver Farrar Emerson)
43
In other
words,
Besides
,

5. Time had not been kind to the shepherdess, nor
to her charges, whose waterlogged wool was
stained with the evidence of a long and
unforgiving winter. Farther along the road these
homes gave way to tents and campers equipped
with pop-up roofs and jury-rigged awnings made
of plastic and fronted by mosquito netting.
("Naked," by David Sedaris)
6. Occasionally, out of sheer human pity, we
ignore our high and mighty standard and pass
them. Usually, however, the standard, and not the
candidate, commands our fidelity. ("The Ph.D.44
Farther
along
however,

7. Though they live in the very thick of the human
race, they are forever isolated from it. They are
fated to go through life, congenial pariahs. They
live out their little lives, mingling with the world,
yet never a part of it. They are, in short, Good
Souls. ("Good Souls," by Dorothy Parker)
8. McSorley's bar is short, accommodating
approximately ten elbows, and is shored up with
iron pipes. It is to the right as you enter. To the left
is a row of armchairs with their stiff backs against
the wainscoting. ("The Old House at Home," by Joseph
Mitchell) 45
,in short,
iron pipes. It is to the right as you enter. To the
left

9. Aristotle, in his sketch of the magnanimous
man, tells us that his voice is deep, his motions
slow, and his stature commanding. In like manner,
the elocution of a great intellect is great. (The Idea of
a University, by John Henry Newman)
10. Who gives quickly, says the old proverb, gives
twice. For this reason I have purposely delayed
writing to you, lest I should appear to thank you
more than once for the small, cheap, hideous
present you sent me on the occasion of my recent
wedding. ("The Writing of Essays," by Charles S. Brooks)
46
stature commanding. In like manner, the elocution
of a
For this reason

11. It does seem as if rather a richer flavor were
given to a book by knowing the circumstance of
its composition. Consequently readers, as they
grow older, turn more and more to biography.
("The Writing of Essays," by Charles S. Brooks)
47
Consequentl
y
12. If you own things, what's their effect on
you? What's the effect on me of my wood?
In the first place, it makes me feel heavy.
Property does have this effect. ("My Wood," by E.M.
Forster)
In the first place,

13. There exists, it appears, a class of persons
who, either through ignorance or indifference,
or often through both combined, are doing all
in their power to corrupt the English tongue.
Their efforts are too largely successful. There is
accordingly no salvation for the speech unless
heroic measures are taken to guard it from the
perils threatening its purity. ("The Standard of Usage
in English," by Thomas R. Lounsbury)
48
accordingly

14. [Margaret Fuller] often passes in one breath
from forcible reasoning to dreamy vagueness;
moreover, her unusually varied culture gives
her great command of illustration. Mary
Wollstonecraft, on the other hand, is nothing if
not rational; she has no erudition, and her
grave pages are lit up by no ray of fancy.
("Margaret Fuller and Mary Wollstonecraft," by George Eliot)
49
moreover,
on the other
hand,

15. There are, indeed, many other jobs that are
unpleasant, and yet no one thinks of abolishing
them--that of the plumber, that of the soldier,
that of the garbage-man, that of the priest
hearing confessions, that of the sand-hog, and
so on. Moreover, what evidence is there that
any actual hangman complains of his work? I
have heard none. On the contrary, I have
known many who delighted in their ancient art,
and practiced it proudly. ("The Penalty of Death," by
H.L. Mencken)
50
Moreover
,
On the
contrary,

COHESION PRACTICE:
INSTRUCTIONS:
Combine the sentences in each set into 2
clear and concise sentences, eliminating
needless repetition.
51
Combining & Connecting Sentences

INSTEAD
Retirement should be the reward for a
lifetime of work. INSTEAD, it is widely
viewed as a sort of punishment for growing
old. 52
1. Retirement should be the reward for a
lifetime of work. It is widely viewed as a
sort of punishment. It is a punishment for
growing old.

THEREFORE
In recent years viruses have been shown to cause
cancer not only in chickens but also in mice, cats,
and even in some primates. THEREFORE, it is a
reasonable hypothesis that viruses might cause
cancer in humans.
53
2. In recent years viruses have been shown to
cause cancer in chickens. Viruses have also been
shown to cause cancer in mice, cats, and even in
some primates. Viruses might cause cancer in
humans. This is a reasonable hypothesis.

IN FACT
We do not seek solitude. IN FACT, if we
find ourselves alone for once, we flick a
switch and invite the whole world in
through the television screen. (Eugene Raskin,
"Walls and Barriers")
54
3. We do not seek solitude. If we find
ourselves alone for once, we flick a switch.
We invite the whole world in. The world
comes in through the television screen.

ON THE CONTRARY
We were not irresponsible. ON THE
CONTRARY, we were trained to think that
each of us should do something that would
be of genuine usefulness to the world.(Lillian
Smith, Killers of the Dream)
55
4. We were not irresponsible. Each of us
should do something. This thing would be
of genuine usefulness to the world. We
were trained to think that.

HOWEVER
Little girls, of course, don't take toy guns out of their
hip pockets and say "Pow, pow" to all their neighbors
and friends like average well-adjusted little boys.
HOWEVER, if we gave little girls the six-shooters, we
would soon have double the pretend body count.
(Anne Roiphe, "Confessions of a Female Chauvinist Sow")
56
5. Little girls, of course, don't take toy guns out of
their hip pockets. They do not say "Pow, pow" to all
their neighbors and friends. The average well-
adjusted little boy does this. If we gave little girls the
six-shooters, we would soon have double the pretend
body count.

NEXT
We drove the wagon close to a corner post, twisted
the end of the wire around it one foot above the
ground, and stapled it fast. NEXT, we drove along the
line of posts for about 200 yards, unreeling the wire
on the ground behind us. (John Fischer, "Barbed Wire")57
6. We drove the wagon close to a corner post. We
twisted the end of the wire around it. We twisted the
wire one foot above the ground. We stapled it fast.
We drove along the line of posts. We drove for about
200 yards. We unreeled the wire on the ground
behind us.

INDEED
We know very little about pain and what we
don't know makes it hurt all the more. INDEED,
no form of illiteracy in the United States is so
widespread or costly as ignorance about pain.
(Norman Cousins, "Pain Is Not the Ultimate Enemy”)58
7. We know very little about pain. What we
don't know makes it hurt all the more. There is
ignorance about pain. No form of illiteracy in
the United States is so widespread. No form of
illiteracy in the United States is so costly.

MOREOVER
Many of our street girls can be as vicious and
money mad as any corporation president.
MOREOVER, they can be less emotional than
men in conducting acts of personal violence.
(Gail Sheehy, "$70,000 a Year, Tax Free") 59
8. Many of our street girls can be as vicious as
any corporation president. Many of our street
girls can be as money mad as any corporation
president. They can be less emotional than
men. They can be less emotional in conducting
acts of personal violence.

FOR THIS REASON
The historical sciences have made us very conscious
of our past, and of the world as a machine generating
successive events out of foregoing ones. FOR THIS
REASON, some scholars tend to look totally backward
in their interpretation of the human future. (Loren
Eiseley, The Unexpected Universe”)
60
9. The historical sciences have made us very
conscious of our past. They have made us conscious
of the world as a machine. The machine generates
successive events out of foregoing ones. Some
scholars tend to look totally backward. They look
backward in their interpretation of the human future.

HOWEVER
Rewriting is something that most writers find they have to do
to discover what they have to say and how to say it. There
are, HOWEVER, a few writers who do little formal rewriting
because they have the capacity and experience to create and
review a large number of invisible drafts in their minds before
they approach the page. (Donald M. Murray, "The Maker's
Eye: Revising Your Own Manuscipts”)
61
10. Rewriting is something that most writers find they have to
do. They rewrite to discover what they have to say. They
rewrite to discover how to say it. There are a few writers who
do little formal rewriting. They have capacity and experience.
They create and review a large number of invisible drafts.
They create and review in their minds. They do this before
they approach the page.

COHESION PRACTICE:
INSTRUCTIONS:
Organize these five sentences into a
cohesive paragraph by adding appropriate
transitional words and phrases to
sentences number 2, 3, and 5.
62
Learning Under Pressure

1 Dr. E.C. Tolman, after experimenting with rats over
a long period of years, found that rats that learned to
run a maze under the pressure of hunger took much
longer to learn the maze than rats that learned under
non-crisis conditions.
2 The learning that did take place was of a narrow
type.
3 After learning the "right" route, these rats panicked
if one avenue were blocked off.
4 They were not able to survey the field to notice
alternative routes.
5 When the rats were permitted to learn under non-
crisis conditions, they later performed well in a crisis.
63
Dr. E.C. Tolman, after experimenting with rats over a
long period of years, found that rats that learned to
run a maze under the pressure of hunger took much
longer to learn the maze than rats that learned under
non-crisis conditions. Furthermore, the learning that
did take place was of a narrow type. That is, after
learning the "right" route, these rats panicked if one
avenue were blocked off. They were not able to
survey the field to notice alternative routes. On the
other hand, when the rats were permitted to learn
under non-crisis conditions, they later performed well
in a crisis. (adapted from How to Study in College, by Walter
S. Pauk, Houghton Mifflin, 2000)

COHESION PRACTICE:
INSTRUCTIONS:
Organize these seven sentences into two
cohesive paragraphs by adding appropriate
transitional words and phrases to
sentences number 2, 3, 5, and 7.
64
Energy Efficiency

1 There is a source of energy that produces no radioactive
waste, nothing in the way of petrodollars, and very little
pollution.
2 The source can provide the energy that conventional
sources may not be able to furnish.
3 Unhappily, it does not receive the emphasis and attention it
deserves.
4 The source might be called energy efficiency, for Americans
like to think of themselves as efficient people.
5 The energy source is generally known by the more prosaic
term conservation.
6 To be semantically accurate, the source should be called
conservation energy, to remind us of the reality--that
conservation is no less an energy alternative than oil, gas,65
There is a source of energy that produces no radioactive
waste, nothing in the way of petrodollars, and very little
pollution. Moreover, the source can provide the energy that
conventional sources may not be able to furnish. Unhappily,
however, it does not receive the emphasis and attention it
deserves. 2nd paragraph: The source might be called energy
efficiency, for Americans like to think of themselves as
efficient people. But the energy source is generally known by
the more prosaic term conservation. To be semantically
accurate, the source should be called conservation energy, to
remind us of the reality--that conservation is no less an
energy alternative than oil, gas, coal, or nuclear. Indeed, in
the near term, conservation could do no more than any of
the conventional sources to help the country deal with the
energy problem it has. (adapted from Energy Future, by
Daniel Yergin, Random House, 1979)

Writing cohesion

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