How do you approach someone you don’t know? How do you get your point across to those you do in an effective way? Effective communication is at the heart of every relationship, but some people stumble through small talk, avoid speaking with strangers, or even fail to have meaningful conversations with loved ones. Social Media Manager Louise Jett focuses on communicating with strangers and friends in this presentation.

1. WELCOME TO
TALKING WITH
FRIENDS AND
STRANGERS
with Louise Jett, SMM @ ESSTL

2. Listening Other Tips
TODAY'S FORUM
Connecting Conveying

3. LISTENING
We have two ears
and one mouth,
so we should listen
more than we say.
ZENO OF CITIUM

4. Listening is just
as important as speaking
when it comes to talking.
Listen first, talk second.

5. DON'T INTERRUPT.
Listen to comprehend. Focus on understanding,
not responding.
EYE CONTACT IS KEY.
It helps you listen and shows that you're listening.

6. Are you listening?
Repeat and rephrase. This
shows that you understand,
care and are paying attention.
INTERACT
Pay attention to social cues and
body language. Uncross your arms
and legs. Be open.
WATCH BODY LANGUAGE
See things from their
perspective. Don't give
advice unless you're asked.
EMPATHIZE

7. CONNECTING
Sometimes, reaching out
and taking someone's hand
is the beginning of a journey.
At other times, it is allowing
another to take yours.
VERA NAZARIAN

8. Trade self-consciousness for interest in
the other person. Be in a conversation
rather than putting on a performance.
Be human together.

9. ASK FOR HELP UNDERSTANDING.
If you don't know something, admit it.
USE THIER NAME RIGHT AWAY.
This helps you connect with them and remember their name.

10. Are you connecting?
Be yourself, and if you don't
have a genuine interest in the
person, then stop trying.
BE GENUINE
Avoid your phone or people
walking by and only focus on
being in the moment.
BE PRESENT
Find something about them
that is truly admirable and let
them know how you feel.
GIVE COMPLIMENTS

11. CONVEYING
The single biggest
problem in communication
is the illusion that it has
taken place.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

12. Instead of arguing, listen to what they
have to say, and then seek to
understand how they feel and why.
Don't outright correct people when they are wrong.
Find something you have in common and go from there.

13. BE CONFIDENT
Don't let people interrupt you.
GET TO THE POINT.
Don't beat around the bush.

14. Are you getting your
point across?
Ask questions to make sure
you're all on the same page and
better explain your opinions.
QUESTION
Everyone loves the dog who is so
happy and excited to see his
person come home. Be that dog.
BE ENTHUSIASTIC
Do not sell, blame or accuse.
Assume the best in others.
Share your knowledge.
EDUCATE

15. OTHER TIPS &
TRICKS FOR
CONVERSATIONS

16. The biggest mistake
is believing there is
one right way to
listen, to talk to have
a conversation - or a
relationship.
DEBORAH TANNEN

17. MEET NEW PEOPLE
BE BRAVE
Go to places you enjoy and talk to new people.
Chances are they like the venue, as well, and that
can be the first thing you have in common. Don't be
afraid to strike up a conversation, and be open to
others when they talk to you.
Asking for a favor is one way of doing so. It can be a
small ask. Ask someone the time, or if they could
please pass you a napkin from the bar, or ask
someone’s opinion about something.
Show genuine interest in a person and be yourself.
If there's a connection, a great conversation could
be had, and if not, no worries. Move on. There's
plenty of people who would like to talk.

18. Be Thoughtful
Mirroring someone’s
body language is an
effective way to gain
rapport. Don’t overdo it
in a distracting way, but
subtly assume the same
overall body postures.
MIRRORING
People may not
remember what you say,
but they will remember
how you make them feel.
Be kind and thoughtful. If
you don't care, don't
have the conversation.
CARING
Notice details like
someone's eye color or
what sort of things
make them laugh.
Take note of the little
details that makes the
person unique.
OBSERVING
Choose your seat
wisely. If you expect
to have a conflict with
someone, seat
yourself next to that
person rather than
across from them.
POSITIONING

19. DON’T BE SCARED BY SILENCE.
If a person has not completely answered your
question, try remaining quiet when they finish talking.
Your silence will compel them to continue sharing.
AVOID MAKING JUDGMENTS.
Whether speaking with your romantic partner or a
relative stranger, if you come across as judgmental,
the other person will feel less like confiding in you.

20. STAY ON TOP OF THE NEWS.
Being familiar with current events is the best way to
have enough topics to bring up in any conversation.
Plus, you should be paying attention anyway.
DON'T ASSUME PEOPLE AGREE.
Debates can make for enjoyable conversation. But if you
assume everyone feels as you do, you could get started on
the wrong foot and end up with it in your mouth.

21. DON'T OVERSHARE.
People feel uncomfortable when they hear a
stranger's deepest secrets. Put yourself in the other
person's shoes. Plus, oversharing can be boring.
LEARN FROM EACH INTERACTION.
People from other places can give you new perspectives.
They will only open up if you show that you're interested.

22. Let's practice.
• Find someone you don't know. Strike up a conversation.
• Take 5 minutes to get to know each other.
• After that, you'll introduce the other person to the rest of us
in 2-3 sentences based on what you have learned.

23. QUESTIONS?
ljett@ethicalstl.org
EMAIL ADDRESS
(217) 556-1731
PHONE NUMBER
LET'S TALK!
THANK YOU.