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Habit 5: Seek First to
Understand, then to be
understood
By: Natdhanai, Reuben, Sorrawee, Kita, Worawat
Overview
 Most people will want to be understood first and then
understand others later.
 Seeing things from other’s point of view can have a
dramatic effect.
 Most people will tend to want to be understood first.
The Meaning
 You need to understand other first before you start
wanting other to understand you.
 Listen first, talk second.
 Understand other will have a big effect on how you judge
the person.
Five Poor Listening Style
 Spacing out: Ignore the one talking to us.
 Pretend to listen: Pretend to listen to the one speaking,
but actually not listening.
 Selective listening: Only listen to some part of the
conversation.
 Word listening: Not reading between the line.
 Self-centered listening: Everything is in our point of view.
Genuine Listening
 Genuine listening is when you actually try to listen to
what the person is saying and take it to heart.
o Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.
o Stand in their shoes.
o Practice mirroring.
Genuine Listening Benefits
 It open up the other person’s heart.
 Improve relationships with people.
 Able to solve problem easily through communication.
 Lesser the stress pent up inside by sharing.
Listen with Your Eyes, Heart, and Ears
 Do not listen with just your ears. It only contain 7% of the
whole thing.
 53% came from body language and 40% came from
tone/feelling.
 Try to understand their way of expressing it rather than
just merely hearing.
Stand in Their Shoes
 You must put yourself in their show in order to fully
understand their situation.
 Trying to win a conversation will just end up in a Win-Lose
or Lose-Lose conclusion.
Practice Mirroring
 Think like a mirror that doesn’t judge, but instead reflect.
 Mirroring doesn’t mean you repeat exactly what they say.
 Mirroring is repeating the meaning with affections.
Mirroring Benefits
 Become a good listener.
 Will know your friend better than ever.
 Improve your charisma skill.
Communication with Parent
 Try to stop arguing and listen to their story.
 Parent too have worry and that can sometime affect how
they talk to us.
 If you manage to understand them, many good thing will
occur.
Good Relationship with Parent Benefits
 Better family circumstances.
 A happy life style.
 A good counselor right at home.
Seek to Be Understood
 Seeking First to Understand is only half of habit 5.
 Seeking to Be Understood is way more challenging since it
require courage.
 If you can understand other, then other will surely
understand you too.
Feedbacks
 Feedback is an important part of seeking to be
understood.
 Do it right and it can be deposit in the RBA.
 Only give feedback if it really help the person. If not then
it’s better to keep quiet.
 When giving feedback, make the comment a first person
kind of comment.
Feedback Benefits
 Obtain more and have a better relationship.
 Help a friend in need of help.
 Improve yourself with the feedback from your friend.
Thank you for Reading

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Habit 5 Seek First to Understand (Nathdanai's)

  • 1. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be understood By: Natdhanai, Reuben, Sorrawee, Kita, Worawat
  • 2. Overview  Most people will want to be understood first and then understand others later.  Seeing things from other’s point of view can have a dramatic effect.  Most people will tend to want to be understood first.
  • 3. The Meaning  You need to understand other first before you start wanting other to understand you.  Listen first, talk second.  Understand other will have a big effect on how you judge the person.
  • 4. Five Poor Listening Style  Spacing out: Ignore the one talking to us.  Pretend to listen: Pretend to listen to the one speaking, but actually not listening.  Selective listening: Only listen to some part of the conversation.  Word listening: Not reading between the line.  Self-centered listening: Everything is in our point of view.
  • 5. Genuine Listening  Genuine listening is when you actually try to listen to what the person is saying and take it to heart. o Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. o Stand in their shoes. o Practice mirroring.
  • 6. Genuine Listening Benefits  It open up the other person’s heart.  Improve relationships with people.  Able to solve problem easily through communication.  Lesser the stress pent up inside by sharing.
  • 7. Listen with Your Eyes, Heart, and Ears  Do not listen with just your ears. It only contain 7% of the whole thing.  53% came from body language and 40% came from tone/feelling.  Try to understand their way of expressing it rather than just merely hearing.
  • 8. Stand in Their Shoes  You must put yourself in their show in order to fully understand their situation.  Trying to win a conversation will just end up in a Win-Lose or Lose-Lose conclusion.
  • 9. Practice Mirroring  Think like a mirror that doesn’t judge, but instead reflect.  Mirroring doesn’t mean you repeat exactly what they say.  Mirroring is repeating the meaning with affections.
  • 10. Mirroring Benefits  Become a good listener.  Will know your friend better than ever.  Improve your charisma skill.
  • 11. Communication with Parent  Try to stop arguing and listen to their story.  Parent too have worry and that can sometime affect how they talk to us.  If you manage to understand them, many good thing will occur.
  • 12. Good Relationship with Parent Benefits  Better family circumstances.  A happy life style.  A good counselor right at home.
  • 13. Seek to Be Understood  Seeking First to Understand is only half of habit 5.  Seeking to Be Understood is way more challenging since it require courage.  If you can understand other, then other will surely understand you too.
  • 14. Feedbacks  Feedback is an important part of seeking to be understood.  Do it right and it can be deposit in the RBA.  Only give feedback if it really help the person. If not then it’s better to keep quiet.  When giving feedback, make the comment a first person kind of comment.
  • 15. Feedback Benefits  Obtain more and have a better relationship.  Help a friend in need of help.  Improve yourself with the feedback from your friend.
  • 16. Thank you for Reading