1. Teen Dating Violence Outline
Breathe..
1. Introduce yourself and your position within the agency
a. Gender usage. This is really important with this group! Equality
b. Question format
2. House of Ruth services
· Shelter: Emergency and Transitional
· Counseling: Group and individual
· Children’s program
· Case management
· Legal advocacy
· CHAT: Counseling for children, teens exposed to violence/trauma
· Community Education
3. The goal of this presentation: Overview of Unhealthy Relationships, Alliance Building
4. Why do we talk about Teen Dating Violence?
a. 1 in 3
5. Warning Signs
a. Jealousy, Possessiveness, Controlling
6. Teen Dating Violence is all about Power and Control
7. Types of abuse in a relationship. Where does it start?
a. Physical abuse
i. hickies
ii. pushing, throwing, kicking. Not necessarily you but around you.
iii. slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching, tripping, bruising, choking, shaking
iv. pinching, biting
v. holding, restraining, not letting you in the car, get out of the car
vi. breaking bones
vii. leaving you places
viii. burning, especially cigarette
ix. hair pulling
b. Mental/Emotional/Verbal Abuse
i. Unreasonable jealousy
ii. Extreme moodiness
iii. Silent treatment/ Withdrawal of affection
iv. "I would die without you..."
v. “They don’t understand our love…”
vi. Manipulation
vii. destruction of the victim’s personal property and possessions, or threats to do so
viii. threatening to break up with them
ix. yelling or screaming
x. name-calling. Ex: bitch as a term of endearment
xi. criticizing or diminishing the victim’s accomplishments or goals
xii. criticizing the victim’s friends, family, clothes…

2. c. Sexual abuse
i. sexual assault: unwanted sexual touching
ii. rape: unwanted sexual penetration
iii. sexual exploitation: forcing someone to participate in stripping, prostitution or
pornography
iv. sexual harassment: unwanted verbal or visual sexual attention, comments, gestures,
forcing someone to look at pornography. Sexting is often child pornography, can be used
for “Sextortion.”
v. Yes means Yes & No Means No. Consent = Active and Enthusiastic
d. Stalking/ Cyber stalking
i. repeated phone calls, texts. Becoming mad that they don’t get a call back.
ii. following someone
iii. going through someone’s cell phone when they are not there
iv. GPS
v. stalking through facebook, etc.
vi. suddenly showing up at school, or work
vii. having their friends “spy” on them while they are not with the batterer.
viii. contacting the victim’s friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors to find out about
the victim
e. Social abuse
i. embarrassing, making fun of the victim in front of family or friends including online
ii. excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family
iii. their only friends are each other
iv. rumors, lies, gossip. Turning people against victim or vice versa.
8. The Cycle of Violence
a. Honeymoon
b. Tension
c. Explosion
9. Why victims Stay
a. Fear
b. Guilt
c. Isolation
d. School
e. Social status
f. Love
10. If this is a one time presentation: How to Help a Friend
a) Bring up Subject
b) Validate feelings, acknowledge seriousness
c) Don’t buy into denial
d) Respect their right to make her own decision
e) Provide Options:
a. Talk to a parent, counselor, etc.
b. Restraining Order -can get at 12 years old without parental consent

3. c. Refer to resources (House of Ruth): Remind about our Hotline.
f) Assess safety & make safety plan (Vary their routine- take different routes to school, classes, and home.)