This document outlines a presentation on domestic violence (DV). It introduces the presenter and their organization, the House of Ruth, which provides various services to DV victims, including shelter, counseling, and legal advocacy. The goal is to provide an overview of DV, defining what it is and identifying abusive behaviors. It also discusses why victims may stay in abusive relationships and statistics about DV prevalence. Finally, it covers the power and control dynamics of DV, outlining different types of abuse, and the cycle of violence.

1. DV 101 Outline
Breathe..
1. Introduce yourself and your position within the agency
a. Gender usage.
b. Question format
2. House of Ruth services
· Shelter: Emergency and Transitional
· Counseling: Group and individual
· Children’s program
· Case management
· Legal advocacy
· Counseling: CHAT program for 4-17 y/o
· Prevention Education
3. The goal of this presentation: Overview of DV
a. What is DV?
b. Identify/define domestic violence and the behaviors that are abusive
c. Why victims stay?
4. The problem of DV (statistics)
5. Domestic Violence is all about Power and Control
6. Types of DV (What tools abusers use to exert their power)
a. Physical abuse
i. pushing, throwing, kicking
ii. slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching, beating, tripping, battering,
bruising, choking, shaking
iii. pinching, biting
iv. holding, restraining
v. breaking bones
vi. assault with a weapon such as a knife or gun
vii. burning
viii. hair pulling
ix. hickies
x. murder
b. Mental/Emotional abuse
i. Unreasonable jealousy
ii. Extreme moodiness
iii. Domination and control
iv. Withdrawal of affection
v. Mind games

2. vi. Manipulation
vii. “crazy-making”
viii. destruction of the victim’s personal property and
possessions, or threats to do so
ix. violence to an object or pet, in the presence of the intended victim,
as a way of instilling fear of further violence
c. Verbal abuse
i. threatening or intimidating to gain compliance
ii. yelling or screaming
iii. name-calling
iv. constant harassment
v. criticizing or diminishing the victim’s accomplishments or goals
vi. telling the victim that they are worthless on their own
d. Sexual abuse
i. sexual assault: unwanted sexual touching
ii. rape: unwanted sexual penetration
iii. sexual exploitation: forcing someone to participate in stripping,
prostitution or pornography
iv. sexual harassment: unwanted verbal or visual sexual attention,
comments, gestures, forcing someone to look at pornography
e. Stalking/ Cyber stalking
i. repeated phone calls, sometimes with hang-ups
ii. following, tracking (possibly even with a GPS device)
iii. finding the person through public records, online searching, or paid
investigators
iv. watching with hidden cameras
v. suddenly showing up where the victim is, at home, school, or work
vi. sending emails; communicating in chat rooms or with instant
messaging
vii. monitoring the victim’s phone calls or computer-use
viii. contacting the victim’s friends, family, co-workers, or
neighbors to find out about the victim
ix. going through the victim’s garbage
f. Financial abuse
i. withholding economic resources such as money or credit cards
ii. stealing from or defrauding a partner of money or assets also
includes CalWorks fraud
iii. exploiting the intimate partner’s resources for personal gain
iv. withholding physical resources such as food, clothes, necessary
medications, or shelter from a partner
v. preventing the spouse or intimate partner from working or
choosing/having an occupation

3. g. Social abuse
i. embarrassing, making fun of, or mocking the victim in front of
family or friends
ii. excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family
iii. rumors, lies, gossip, turning people against victim or vice versa
h. Spiritual abuse
i. Misuse of religious teachings.
ii. Not allowing the victim to attend church or synagogue
iii. Forcing the victim to convert
iv. Denying the existence of the victim's “God”
7. The Cycle of Violence
a. Honeymoon
b. Tension
c. Explosion
8. Why Women Stay
a. Love
b. Fear
c. Guilt
d. Isolation
e. Financial reasons
f. Religious reasons
g. Language/Immigration issues
h. Children
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9. Ways to help
a. Bring up the subject
b. Acknowledge that she/he is in a very difficult and scary situation
c. Don’t buy into their denial
d. Respect their right to make her own decision
e. Brainstorm options (don’t give advice)
f. Safety plan with them