The Cassius Marius Bachelor Challenge, Day Five

!  Hello, I'm Marina, aka Smoothiequeen, author of the Fitzhugh Legacy. Please ignore my slightly
bulked-up condition, as I have been imprisoned for four days in a Bachelor Challenge with a man
I truly cannot stand. There is no chocolate on that buffet table, which is sheer cruelty, if you ask
me, so I have had to make do with gelatin.
! 
!  The bachelor in question is Cassius Marius, from Blite27's Ten Caesars Legacy, and a skankier
guy does not tread the earth. I mean it. Gage Uglacy is charming compared to him. The author's
simself is his mother and she is really putting him through some misery here, which I for one
enjoy.

!  Yes, Marina, I thought you girls had been through enough. So I moved you all into your own
house, the Villa Rejecta. Don't be misled. The former contestants may be rejected, but they are far
from dejected, as most of them can't stand Cassius at any price. Supposedly, Candi, who was
eliminated on Day Three, has a "crush" on Cassius but I think she is just being diplomatic. The
other two are Ephemeral Toast, who was in such a rush to get out that I think she never
unpacked, and Purple Bunny, whose boredom with Cassius knows no bounds.

!  Candi and Marina really packed on the pounds because they were the last two eliminated. This is
not normally the way their simselves look. The buffet never really closed because everyone was
always hungry at different times, and I didn't notice this until it was too late. So apologies, ladies,
I am about to make it up to you.

!  That's better. Any other requests, Candi?
! 
!  "Don't give Gage my forwarding address."
! 
!  You have my word on it.

!  I've built them a villa which has many of the features of the house they were sharing before, only
it's slightly better and less freakishly Roman.

!  Top floor: dorm with nice beds, pinball machine, hot tubs—for hot tubbing this time—and three
actual bathtubs. Some of you like to take baths and some of you like to play in them, so you
should all be happy, I hope.

!  Bottom floor: big screen TV, normal kitchen instead of a buffet table, dart board, pool table, card table and
dance sphere for our Pleasure Sims, bookcase, easel and chess table for Marina, and Candi can choose
whatever she wants to do. Plus I cheated your cooking skills up so you won't burn the place down.
! 
!  "It has everything!"
! 
!  Well, I tried.
! 
!  "Cassius isn't here!"

!  Candi: So I won our bet. I totally got out before you did.
! 
!  Marina: Yeah, but that's just because he liked me better than you no matter what I did, so there.
! 
!  Guys, some of you have some phone calls to make. The other contestants are still in the crossfire.

!  Marina: De? I miss you too, but I couldn't wait to get out of that hellhole. What do you mean,
you want to tell me about Cassius' wonderful qualities? Well, that shouldn't take too long.
!  Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mmmm. Listen, is there another guy named Cassius we know?

!  Yeah, well, De, I can't honestly say I share your enthusiasm for him, but I wanted to pass on a
word of advice. Talk about pink. A lot. Oh, let's just say it will help you in the long run. OK, talk
to you later!
! 
!  And on her cell phone---

!  Purple Bunny: Hi, Renee? I heard you were on the edge of aspirational failure. I had no idea our
friendship was so important to you. I've been kinda busy rehearsing to play Captain Hook, but
come on over and play some Red Hands and I'll try to boost you up, ok?

!  Aw, honey, c'mere! I totally get why you're on the verge of going nuts.

By the way, I just know Gage secretly still likes you best.
!  Renee: Tee-hee!
!  Well, I had Purple Bunny try, but they still weren't best friends, and I couldn't risk the arrival of
the Welcome Wagon with heaven only knows what kind of disaster happening on free will, so
Renee remained unboosted. Is she trying to go nuts and die to have an excuse to kill my simself
later?

!  Cassius calls his dad, Flavius Marius.
!  Cassius: Hey there, Dad. I don't know why I'm calling you all the time. Other sims in Bachelor
Challenges don't do it. It's gotta be Ma yanking the strings again.

!  Flavius: Well, Cassius, I sure am glad you did call! As you know, our relationship score
was dropping, and as a Popularity Sim, losing friends makes me get all upset. Oh, yes,
plus you're my son, of course. Hey, I heard you really chubbed up at the end of the last
chapter. Hope you got that cleared up.
I am not going to Boolprop Cassius thin. He can suffer like anybody else.

!  Flavius: Well, sure! I have no idea what this Mile High Club is you keep talking about, but I'm
always in favor of clubs! Anyway, are you best friends with everybody yet? That's the important
thing. You want to have three best friends, then five best friends, then. . .

!  Cassius: Uh, Dad. DAD. No, my only best friend is De, but I'm working on it.

!  Flavius: I see. Have you tried Cool Shades plus Bust A Move and then calling obsessively? That
usually works for me.
! 
!  Cassius: Trust me, Dad, my way's faster.
! 
!  Don't you dare tell him what your way is!

!  Cassius: And while you're at it, Dad, can you tell Ma to please lay off me? This has got to be the
most miserable Bachelor Challenge ever! You can talk her around, can't you? I mean, you've
made her do all kinds of things! You always get your way!

!  Flavius: No, Cassius, I don't think I can do that. You see, she only lets me think I win because she
likes me, and I let her think I don’t know she lets me win, because that seems to make her happy.
And she does this because, essentially, I'm a very nice person.
! 
!  Whoa. Smarter than I thought.
! 
!  Flavius: Niceness. Try it sometime. *Click.*

!  Side note: because this is a new neighborhood, this is the first time I've ever started my simself
with Flavius as her husband from the get go. She's a Knowledge Sim and sort of cold, so I was a
little shocked to find that she was only rolling wants for Flavius. Not skill points, not seeing
ghosts, all Flavius, all the time. Go figure.
! 
!  However, her diary entries are about the large screen TV, which I do not have in real life.

!  Back at the Bachelor Pad, it's the Win A Date With Cassius In The Hot Tub competition, where
everybody wins! I said everybody wins! because there are three spots in the hot tub and only three
contestants left.

!  And Cassius finally broaches the topic that's always at the top of his list anyway. Romance, so-
called.
! 
!  Cassius: WooHoo, ladies. You want to find out whether it's possible to get it going with four
people in the Sims?

!  De does not look pleased.
! 
!  De: Say WHAT?

!  Cassius, I think you had better backtrack. Or, of course, if you don't really care what she thinks,
you could keep right on going. Totally your call.

!  Cassius: Yes, well, De, I just wanted to clarify what I was saying about silent movies the other
day. Naturally Rudolph Valentino outclasses Ramon Novarro, only I have no idea why ‘cause I'm
not gay and I'm only parroting something Ma said. However, the original Ben Hur is remarkable,
not only for the chariot race, but because every lead female character is accompanied by poultry.

Completely true. The young lady on the left, Esther, is carrying a dove. You know, just to hammer home that
she’s the good girl. The young lady on the right, Iras, is supposed to be Egyptian, as you can tell from her historically
accurate costume, and she has a white peacock wandering around somewhere. One of her title cards goes:
Iras: Oh, Masala, you hold my heart in the very hollow of your hand! What would I not do for you?
I always imagine his reply is:
Masala: Yeah, um, honey? Could you please not keep chickens in your room?
That’s not what he really says. But he should.

!  De: Wow, Cassius, I'll have to go check that out!
!  Good save.

!  Cassius: Leave me alone, Ma, I want to eat some gelatin.
!  It will only make you fat again, and besides, we're now up to the romantic kiss part. Once with
everybody left.
!  Cassius: Oh, well, in that case, I can always eat gelatin later. Which one do I get first?
!  Orikes.
!  Cassius: Why?
!  Because she's awake.

!  So Cassius scores his first kiss with Orikes, because he hasn't kissed anybody yet--funny that, but
remember, he didn't start as an adult. So that means he has to kiss her twice.

!  Cassius: See, I told Dad my way was faster. We're best friends!
! 
!  Anything more than that?
! 
!  Cassius: Nope.

!  Let's clarify Cassius' basic character a little more here. He makes the Grinch look warm and
snuggly, and apparently he is heart-farting De, right? Look carefully.

!  That's right. He is heart-farting De in front and Orikes in back. At the same time. Wonderful.

!  Cassius: Great. I get to kiss someone else now.
!  You're headed into the girl's dorm. Get back out of there!

!  Renee, you're up.
! 
!  Renee: Seriously? I'm still in this thing? Should I thank you or kill you?
! 
!  Well, as you like, but I've been playing it as it lays and making certain nobody gets caught. It's
pretty darned annoying.

!  And Renee gets her wish to be best friends with Cassius, which is a huge relief to me and gets her
out of the red. And I get her downstairs just in time, because . . .

!  Cassius: C'mere, baby!
! 
!  De: Giggle, giggle!
! 
!  This was on free will. Should I have stopped them? The rules don't exactly say, and by the time I
thought it through, he'd already done it, the sneaky little . . .

!  Cassius: Ooo, yeah, saved the best for last.

!  Aieeek! He meant that! He actually did! Your opinion, De?

!  De: Well. . . I'm not sure.
! 
!  Oh, being a tease, are we?
! 
!  De: Things are getting pretty serious now, aren't they? I don't want to make a mistake.

!  Orikes: I don't know--does Cassius seem a little slick to you?
! 
!  De: Slick? How?

!  Cassius: No, Candi, we have no further vacancies in our Bachelor Challenge. Thank you for your interest.
Good day.
!  Hah. She was just pulling your chain. Believe me, she does not want to be back here!
!  Cassius is getting grouchier again, partly because he's tired, so it's time to put him to bed. And what does
he dream about?

!  "I'm about sick of that hot tub."
! 
!  ME TOO.

!  Cassius: I am so gonna get face time in Ten Caesars.
! 
!  Yes, and possibly plant time. If Ben has plans for you, what is the likelihood that they're nice
ones? Not good.

!  Up, time for breakfast and flirting with the ladies before one goes home, which Cassius kvetches
about terribly, by the way--he hates flirting. And besides, something has been clogging up his
want panel for days.
! 
!  "I want a refrigerator."
! 
!  That's not all you're thinking about. Mind telling us whose lips those are?

!  Cassius, I am warning you for the last time, get the heck out of the girls' dorm!
! 
!  Cassius: Quit getting on my case, Ma. They're all slobs. They never make their beds. It's my one
decent characteristic, so you better let me do it.
! 
!  Point made. He's tidy. Flirtin' time.

!  Cassius: Hi hi!
Orikes: Hi hi!
Somehow this is lacking in steaminess.

!  Renee: Hmm--what can I do to get Cassius?
!  I don't know. You wanted to gain a skill point and you're curiously quiet here, always at the chess
tables.

!  But stuff is not going well. He just whipped you at chess, for one thing, probably by cheating.
Cheer up. You can always kill him later!

!  Cassius: Um, yes, well, that was very nice, Auntie Renee.
!  Why do you never act like a Romance Sim when I need you to act like a Romance Sim?

!  Ask him to flirt with De, however . . .

!  Well, that is entirely different. Make no mistake, he's still as skanky as they come, but she is
whacking the competition silly.

!  And she loves him back.
! 
!  Cassius: Congratulations on falling in love with me!
! 
!  Akkk. And what exactly draws this couple together?

!  Bingo. Mind you, this has practically nothing to do with neat points. He is not maxed neat, so I
don't know why he's acting as though he is. He cannot stand it when someone belches at the table
and guess what? De's stopped doing it. Something really weird is going on, like she's getting
neater and he's getting . . .
Nicer?

!  Orikes: I'm bored. This is a huge waste of time.
! 
!  Well, if you have to kill time, you might as well kill it in a way you like, right?

!  Orikes: Look at me juggle!
! 
!  Which she does all the time. She's really fun and Cassius likes her. It's got to be a chemistry thing.

!  Orikes: So, De, I kinda like this guy--and he's really into film! Knows all about them!
! 
!  De: Weird. We could almost be talking about the same guy!
! 
!  Funny, that.

!  Sigh, De, back in Cassius' bed again?
! 
!  De: Yep. I am going to win this thing and what is more, I am going to change him.
! 
!  You can't change Sims like Cassius! It simply can't be done!
! 
!  De: Bet I could!

!  For heaven's sake. I keep cancelling "Relax" and she keeps doing it again. He's asleep, so once
again, he does not know she's there, or does he?
!  Cassius: I am dreaming about the hot tub with De in it and I resent it slightly less.

!  And now you're thinking?
!  Cassius: I am thinking that it is time for someone to move out.

!  Guess again. The computer blew, exactly on cue, almost as though someone busted it on purpose.
And why?

!  Everybody else: Bye-bye Renee!
!  At 165 points with Cassius, Renee finally gets bumped, but she hung in there a long time, and no,
I never let her simself see that she was being six-timed. In a Bachelor Challenge, that hardly
makes sense anyway, since developing relationships is the whole point, but Maxis jealousy coding
being what it is, it's something I did not want to see.
!

!  So that leaves us at the end of Day Five. Orikes still in crush status at 171 points with one bolt;
De still far in the lead with 186 points, three bolts, and they're in love. And what the heck is he so
happy about, the little wretch? Find out next time.

The Cassius Marius Bachelor Challenge, Day Five

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The Cassius Marius Bachelor Challenge, Day Five