Evil Susan has been transported from her home in Strangetown to the town of Riverblossom for a random adventure. She finds the town too cheerful and wants to destroy things. She meets a local named Shea who also dislikes the town's positivity. They bond over their shared dislike of Riverblossom and its philosophy. Susan destroys several local attractions, like a family fun park. Shea finds this amusing and the two start spending time together, though Susan insists she remains fully evil.

1. Greetings fair citizens of boolprop.com and livejournal and other places and things! I was going to make a new cover each time but then decided I couldn’t be bothered, and that’s probably for the best because Evil Susan is no fan of photoshoots. So for some reason or other, our Evil heroine has been transported from her home in Strangetown to twee little Riverblossom for a random adventure and so far just wants to whack all the town’s residents in the face. Seeing as we have a challenge to do before she can go home, here’s hoping she keeps her teeth to herself for the time being.

2. “ Okay.. Flamingos.. Gnomes.. A bit too much grilled cheese, aaaaand.. Search! Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge? Ah yeeeees, I remember this, I wanted to do last year. Whoa, there’s quite a lot of rules. Reading fun time! But I guess I’d better if me and ES are ever going to get out of here.”

3. A while later: “ Ha ha, this is AWESOME! Oh man, this is so gintastic! Obviously. Oh wow, Evil Susan is going to love some of these rules though.. Hehehe, I wish I could see the look on her face, but I’m rather attatched to my limbs it has to be said. Not my hand though, I shut it in a door on Thursday and it’s gone a bit purple buuuut.. Probably best I hang on to it for now. Safe option it is! And just to be extra cautious, I guess I shouldn’t tell her every little tiny detail. Y’know. Just in case she can electrocute me down the phone line or something just as Evil.”

4. “ You’re lying to me, aren’t you Gin? AREN’T YOU.” “ Wish I was ES, but from what you said I think we should just go with it.” “ Yeah, but three kids? THREE?!” “ That’s not *too* many though! Just think of them as little investments, you newly Fortunified Fortune Sim, you.” “ Shut up. This is all Riverblossom EVIL Gin, EVIL. And it’s still your fault – I haven’t forgotten that you Lucky-to-still-be-alive moron, you.” “ But-” “ I said shut up! But if this is only way I get to escape the sunshine and buttercups then fine, BUT I’M LEAVING YOU HERE.” “ Whatever. Just hurry up and find some poor sap to be a baby-daddy okay?” “ Mention that again and you will die, I am EVIL SUSAN!! .. I’ll do it after work.”

5. “ After work, wielding big bulldozers and axes is –way- more fun than thinking about.. No, really. Best not to think about the EVIL at work here. Hammer time.” ES’s LTW is to become the City Planner, I’m assuming to squash all parks and funshine. And seeing as I’m hardly going to deny her what she wants, I’m going to have to put off the no-promos bonus for a while. Plus, she’s completely broke because I thought she’d kill me if she had to lawn-live. Did I mention I like my limbs?

6. Post-destroying as much of Riverblossom developments (the Pookie-Wookie Puppy Park site sadly is no more) as possible, Evil Susan grudgingly started wandering around the fields looking to steal some sperm. “ Scoping room.. Scoping room.. Scoping room.. And no. Just no. Hang on, is that a bar ? What’s that doing here? Excellent, Evil is infiltrating this place already!”

7. “ ..Or not.” “ So young lady, feel free to come visit my cow shed anytime, boow hoow hoow!” “ Christian – what a vile proposition! Sweetiepie, come by my lollipop garden if you’ve ever in the mood for something sweet. And tasty.” “ Right, you are both insane and distinctly not Evil, and I’m here to gamble my sorrows away.” hissed out Queen of Evil. “So be QUIET, I am not going near a) cows b) any tasty treats anyone may or may not be offering and c) ANY OF YOU EVER AGAIN.”

8. “ Ignore them Ms. Nightmare, word travels fast here and you’re big news. My name is Gabe O’Mackey, and I’m thrilled to meet you.” “ Oh really? So it’s finally sun kinto your corn-filled ears that I’m here to stamp every last drop of joy out of your sad little lives?” “ No, that your garden is fresh for planting.” “ Okaaaay, I’m going to be leaving now.” Evil Susan said as calmly as she could managed, and began to tip toe out the door. No garden of hers was being planted, she was quite sure of that.

9. “ Finally, someone sensible. I am in dire need of some juice here, something far away from trees and fields and cows and all that crap.” “ Why certainly young lady, I can assure you my pineapple keg has been nowhere near any of that.” “ Provider of Juice,-” “ Armando!” “ Whatever, you are my new favourite person. Gimme. Gimme now.”

10. A couple of juice kegs later: “ Really, hic. Really – I means it. You’re the beeeeeesht pershon I’ve met here.” “ Wow, truly? How wonderful!” “ Course. You haven’t menshioned trees or fields or cows or ever any darn chickens! Thish, thish could be a very good thing. Veeeeery good.”

11. “ In fact, in FACT, I think she should call this a date. And you’d better accshept, because I’m Evil. No, that’s not your EVIL, but Evil. No cows.” “ AWESOME! Why in Riverblossom would I mention cows or fields?” “ Exashclty.” “ My kegs are grown from the purest organic soils in controlled greenhouses! No contaminated fields used at all.”

12. “ I have schanged my mind. What a kegful date that was, but I think we should see other people.” “ But-” “ And you know who I like to see?” “ Er..” “ Bugger off.”

13. “ Meeeeeeeeee! Yup, that is quite enough of all this dating malarkey, I am Evil Susan after all. I don’t date. I can find my own way home thankyou very much.”

14. But the residents of Riverblossom weren’t able to let the whole dating business lie, and over the next few days Evil Susan put up with an influx of admires’ gifts, and each time they got thrown quickly back at them as the demanded they themselves turned into flaming bags of poo. “ Not another one! Oh Ms Nightmare, Your garden is divine! I’ll plant you roses Ms Nightmare, Oh please let you be mine! No no, no no, NO.”

15. “ I’ve had enough of this! Please can I stop now?” No. Go greet that walkby, we need all the help we can get. “ Must I?” “ Yes.

16. “ Okay bud, the first mention of vegetables and organic love you are out of here.” “ Understood, Petal Princess.” “ Er, did you just hear-”

17. “ Oh Petal Princess, how long I have been searching for you! One who understands the way nature flows just as much as I do! Your eyes are like balls of flaming natural fuel stuffs, you’re hair as black as the souls of those who use DDTs! Oh, how I have longed to call you my own, Petal Princess, your glory has reached far and wide in this town, and I can see by the look on your face that the love of cornflowers in strong within your heart. What say you, Petal Princess?”

18. “ Well..” Evil Susan started, but before she could inflict serious damage upon the lumpy faced man, she saw that he had started to laugh. “ Oh man, your face!” he giggled, “you totally fell for that, HA. That was brilliant!” “ Evil Susan is confused.”

19. “ Ha, sorry. But I know all about you Evil Susan and can I just say it is so great to finally meet someone who thinks that all the Blossom Philosophy is just as moronic as I do.” “ You do?” “ Oh goat yes. I’ve had to stick my fingers in my ears my entire life to drown out this town. I mean what I said, you seem to feel the same way about it as I do but y’know, I wasn’t going to give over that easy. Hehe, I still can’t believe you thought I was serious!”

20. “ Okay, it was pretty good. I’ll give you that, but just so you know the only reason you still have your kneecaps for that little ‘joke’ is that I’m so relieved to find someone who doesn’t take all this crap seriously either.” “ Fair point, I guess that’s why they call you Evil Susan then?” “ You ain’t seen nothing yet, er...?” “ Shea.”

21. “ SHEA?! What the heck kind of name is Shea?!” “ Mine thank you, ‘Evil’ Susan. Who the heck adds adjectives to their name?!” “ I DO, lump-face.” “ If you say so, gullible midriff-bearer.”

22. “ I think it’s time you left now.” “ Whatever” winked the walkby with a smile, and went back walking aimlessly around the neighbourhood. ES had some frustration to vent.

23. “ Stupid! Little! Riverblossom!

24. Moron! I’m having to angry dance just to get that out my system, bleh. Never again.”

25. AAAAAAAARGH, I hate this place. I will not be made a fool out of, I am EVIL SUSAN. Just as well Evil Dancing is therapeutic for such situations.” That’s just as well, seeing as she needs to reach maximum enthusiasm for my FreeTime bonus, tra la la.

26. But alas alack, the next day ES found yet another letter waiting for her. “ If this is from one of those farmers asking me to be a hay-bride again, we may just be starting the Ghost Hunt bonus Gin was waffling about.”

27. ES, Good to see you can take a joke, we really need someone like you around here to sort this place out. Hope it didn’t fish you off too much, but your angry face is just too funny – couldn’t resist! I heard about Freddy’s Flimsy Family Fun Park falling down this morning, and somehow I’m guessing those dynamite sticks didn’t get there on their own...? Would love to hear all about it sometime. And this time, I’ll bring shinpads if you so require. Shea x

28. “ Yeah, I’d recommend some full body armour if you’ve got it Guy With The Stupid Name. .. No, I do NOT mean for me. Shut up. .. Fine. Eight. Hope you like cheese, there’s not much else going on here.”

29. That evening: “ That’s the fifth one you’ve wrecked?” “ Sure, and it’s not even like I could go down for any of it – I highly doubt this place even has a jail!” “ Nope, well – I think they call it ‘a cloudy day in your heart.” “ HA!” “ You know you’ve been grinning all evening ES.” “ No I haven’t. Or if I have, it’s just because I’m thinking about what I can destroy tomorrow..” “ Ri-ight.. Because you only make Evil grins, right?”

30. “ Oh for goat’s sake..” “ What? You finally realised you haven’t actually got any lights in this house?” “ Nope. Far more Evil.” “ Well, I can go get a helmet if I’m going to need one.”

31. “ It’s just that I feel I’m about to doing something I’m –really- going to regret in the morning.” “ Huh? Okay, Evil Susan, I know we’ve only just met so there’s really no reason to bury me under those odd flamingos on your lawn, okay?” “ Guy With The Stupid Name And Lumpy Face?” “ I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it! Bear all the midriff you want!” “ I..

32. “ I somehow find myself hating you less than everybody else here.” “ Huh?” “ Or I’m becoming immune to it, or something really really EVIL.” “ Come on Evil Susan, I’ve already used the joke idea, you can’t have it too. Right, so I’m going to pretend this isn’t a joke, because you remember who you are.”

33. “ MWA!”

34. “ Did I SAY you could do that?” “ Well you didn’t say I coulsdn’t! And besides, you started it.” “ I did not!” “ Yes you did! You were all ‘ Ooooh Shea! I luuuurve you!’ ” “ I was not! I was.. Meaning the lamps. I was confused because it was all dark and I couldn’t see your lumpy face properly. Things must me done on MY terms. My Evil Terms! You understand?” “ What are your terms then?” “ Well..”

35. “ Ah, so you’re more of a cuddles girl?” “ No!” she spluttered quickly. “I’m just locating your spine. You’re the only person I’ve met with one, so I think I’d better remove it as quickly as possible. I can’t have people with backbone who aren’t Evil you see.” “ Uh huh. So.. It’s not a ‘thank you Shea, I had a really good evening so thanks’ gesture at all then?”

36. “ Nope, I had a horrible time and for that I’m going to take back what I said earlier. Now take your lumpy face and begone! I have things to do. Evil things.” “ I can see that.” her date smiled. “You’ve certainly got your Evil face on.” “ Hm? Of course I have! I can see you grinning, but I know you’ve only doing it to hide your fear. Don’t be ashamed, many people do it when faced with my Evil.” “ Got it is one, you look truly terrifying. I’ll bid you good night, Ms Nightmare.”

37. “ Stupid Riverblossom. Stupid place. What was I doing? It must be getting to me. Somehow their EVIL is strong. And somehow I’m feeling that a grilled cheese sandwich will solves this. Great goat, I can’t wait to leave. I will not let this get to me, I will not..”

38. The following evening: “ See?! I bought lights. They’re not as Evil as I would I liked, I am Evil Susan you know, but you do what you can on an Evil budget.” “ So you invited me here to look at an Ikea floor lamp?” “ Yes.”

39. “ Well no, but look. I’ve had an idea Stupid Name.” “ Sickly Sweet Ice Cream Palour up for the chop then?” “ That, but also I have decided that the most Evil course of action for me to take is for you to move in with me.” “ For real?” “ Well things couldn’t get any worse.”

40. “ What a charming reason, that’s exactly what every guy wants to hear, you know? But sure, why not.” he smiled. “Besides, be good to know which building to avoid.” “ You will? Oh that’s brilliant, I think – Erm, I mean. Good. Evil, but good.” “ Of course you did.”

41. And so that is how three more flamingos came to live on the lawn. Including the Ornery Flamingo who refuses to stand the same way as the others. Well, some people are just rebels.

42. Shea Johnson quickly showed me why he and ES got along so well (not that she’d ever admit that of course), as they have the exact same stats: Leo - 4 10 4 4 3 Aren’t stock zodiacs fun? But he does have a different aspiration, hooray! Popularity – Become Hall of Famer And brought in quite a lot of family friends and skill points, yay. Because ES gets to, I’ll try and get Shea’s (hahaha, silly name..) LTW for him too. Oh, before I forget I’ve rolled for their secondary aspirations, Shea got Family and ES (bwahahaha) got Grilled Cheese, which is helpful for Beyond Cheesey bonus,and amusing for me because her want panel is now a roflcopter.

43. Shea also showed ES the other uses he had as a member of her household. “ STUPID NAME! There’s a Riverblossomer on the lawn! Come deal with it!”

44. Just because he thought it was all carp’s dribble hadn’t stopped Shea from picking up a few things over the years in Riverblossom, he’d had to. And hey, he already knows well enough that disobeying Evil Susan is made only of downsides. “ Isn’t this weather fabulous? Just perfect for cucumber season I’d say!” “ Why yes young man, I do believe you’re right!” “ If I had the chance, I’d be plating some right now, oh how I long for some seeds..” “ You’re right! Oh my, I must be off at once to my plot.”

45. “ But of course, you wouldn’t want them to go carrot-ten would you?” “ Teeeheeheee! Oh young man, you have such wit!” “ Oh I know.”

46. “ Is she gone?” “ Yup, hopped on the next tram to cucumber land.” “ Excellent, because I’ve had another idea.” “ Arsenic in the water supply?” “ Not quite.”

47. “ I want a baby.” “ Er, ES – why?” “ Because I was thinking about what Gin said, and it seemed a really good idea. It’s taken a while adjust to this new aspiration, but I think she’s right. Babies could make me a lot of money, and I apparently now like money.” “ And me too, right?” “ Does it really matter?”

48. “ I’ll get it out of you one day. But you do know that making babies involves lots of kissing and other things like that?” “ That’s true, you do have rather a lumpy face.” “ That’s not what I meant!” “ It matters not, I shall have to bear it for the greater Evil.”

49. “ Fine. You’re a real charmer, you know ES?” “ Nope, nor do I care to be. Shall we get on with it then?” “ Now’s probably not the best moment.

50. There’s kind of a dude doing the highland fling at us in the corner.”

51. “ Ooch, ya wee burn! It were yoooo who squashed mah cabbages was it not?” “ You do know you’re wearing a skirt, right?” “ MAH CABBAGES! MAH CABBAGES! Do ya no care aboot mah cabbages?!” “ Nope.” “ YA WEE SCOUNDREL!!”

52. “ Look you tiny little skirted shrieker, I could squash you with one finger. Expell your life with one bat of an eyelid. I don’t give a plumbbob about you or ya caaabbages! And I’m busy trying to make a baby so get the fish out of my house!” “ Fine. I see you are no cabbage lover.” And off he highland flung.

53. “ Does this place ever get any less annoying?” “ I’m afraid not, that’s why we you here.” “ To stamp on people in skirts?” “ Exactly ES, whatever you want.”

54. “ So I believe you were after a baby, Ms Nightmare?” “ We could make wicked Evil profit margins off of it, trust me. And I have an Evilly weird feeling that maybe Gin was right.” “ Who’s Gin?” “ You really don’t want to know. But she shall also be squished.”

55. “ Have I mentioned that I love your Evil faces?” “ That’s funny, I love them too.”

56. “ Maybe you’re not as stupid as you look, Lumpy Face Stupid Name.” “ Coming from you, I’m honoured.” “ You should be!” “ Oh I am.”

57. “ Evilly so?” “ Oh you betcha. I have I feeling I’ve rather succumb to the ways of Evil this week actually.” “ Good to know. One could always use an extra Evil minion or so.”

58. “ Will you be my Evil minion Stupid Face and Name?” “ Evil Susan – I would like nothing else at this particular moment in time.” “ Good choice. Now, I have something to show you.”

59. “ So tell me, have you ever done the Evil Dance of Nakedness?”

60. Officially Wacky Purple Hearts! I think so! Offically Wacky Dinky Lullabye? Indeedy. Have I run out of slides? Apparently so. (Thanks everyone!)