Seven Smarter Positive Emotions Every Employer Wants
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Should smart people bring their emotions to work? According to Cynthia Kivland's research, YES! Learn the seven smarter positive emotions every employer wants and every employee needs to lead with humanity and connect with civility.
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Seven Smarter Positive Emotions Every Employer Wants
- 1. Seven Smarter Emotions Every Employer Wants…Every Employee Needs Cynthia Kivland, President and Author
- 2. If your behaviors, relationships and words inspire you and others to dream more, learn more, do more, give more and become more, then you are living SMARTER! —Cynthia Kivland, 2010
- 3. Why Did I Write this Book?
- 4. Why Did I Write this Book? The Four Questions: What is one characteristic of a smart person you remember? What characteristic makes a smart person stand out in your organization or culture? What behavior derails a smart person in your profession or workplace? If you were to give a career tip to a smart person, what would it be? Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 5. Why Did I Write this Book? Top Derailers Need to be right – Arrogant Has to be smartest all the time Aloof and reactionary Low social radar & impulse control Inability to work well on or lead team Can’t play in the sandbox Focus on career success not career significance Best in the world – not best for the world Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 6. Why Did I Write this Book? Seven SMARTER Positive Emotions. •Self : Optimize strengths, efficacy and articulate career success and significance. •Mastery: Master one’s emotions, thoughts, stories and actions to achieve success and significance. •Attraction: Intentional display of positive energy, optimism and confidence. •Resilience: Adapts, reinvents and builds reserves to overcome setbacks and remove obstacles. •Tolerance: Accepts, acknowledges and appreciates perspectives. Eliminates distractions. •Evolve: Innovates, initiates, and improves. •Reciprocity: Teach and be taught, lead and be led, receive and give. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 7. SELF- Awareness “If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple: Know what you’re doing. Love what you’re doing. And believe in what you’re doing.” - Will Rogers Self-awareness is the ability to deepen awareness and optimize strengths to achieve career success and significance! It is the cornerstone of all seven emotions. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 8. Mastery “If neither the positive or negative future has happened, then why not choose to believe in the positive future? The key word is “choose!” - Cynthia Kivland According to Joshua Freedman, COO Six Seconds, fear and hope both have something in common: a future that has not happened. Fear is a future with limited options. Hope is a future with possibilities. Create an emotional connection that lets you and others feel the possible. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 9. Attraction “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain Attract people, experiences and outcomes that build positive emotional memories in yourself and others. You either attract or distract what happens in your life. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 10. Resilience “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs Resilience is the ability to persevere and adapt when things aren’t going the way we’d like. When we act resiliently, we act from a proactive place of power instead of a reactive place of fear. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 11. Tolerance “Talent, skills or personality do not explain why some of us continue to thrive and evolve. When you reach for your goals or dreams and comfort zones expand, amazingly you will find ways to breathe.” – Cynthia Kivland Tolerance is the ability to accept, acknowledge and appreciate different cultures, people, perspectives and beliefs. Tolerance is also the ability to recognize and eliminate behaviors, thoughts and habits that hold you back from being your personal best. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 12. Evolve “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful. “ - Mark Victor Hansen. Evolution is the ability to continuously improve, initiate and innovate. There is no end game when evolving. Evolution is a process. Evolution is the skill of anticipation. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 13. Reciprocity “Today we are faced with the pre-eminent fact that, if civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1945 Emotions are contagious. When people feel good, they work better, are more creative and productive. Good feelings are like lubrication for the brain. People understand directions and make better decisions. Reciprocity is the ability to lead and be led, teach and be taught, and give and receive. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 14. Praise for Smart2Smarter Book and Coaching Tools! “Shows us all what it really means to be SMARTER! Great coaching for a changing world! A wonderful resource for coaches—and their clients.” —Marshall Goldsmith, world-renowned executive coach and New York Times best-selling author of MOJO and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
- 15. Curious? Ready to lead your career with humanity and connect with civility? • Buy the book at CreateSpace or Amazon.com • Join the Smart2Smarter career community and gain access to over 40 emotional & career resilience tools. • Assess Your SMARTER Emotions www.smart2smarter.com click Strengths. • Learn about the Social Emotional Resilience Coach Certificate and EQ Leader forums. • Just want to chat about the seven emotions? Contact cynthia@smart2smarter.com or 1-877-60-COACH. Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into 15 the Workplace All rights reserved 2013
- 16. Thank You for a Positive Emotional Memory! • Cynthia Kivland • cynthia@smart2smarter.com • www.smart2smarter • 1-877-60-COACH Smarter Solutions to Bring Humanity into the Workplace All rights reserved 2013 www.smart2smarter.com
Editor's Notes
- Leaders, individuals and scholars have often asked, “So, what prompted youto write this book?” Over the last 25 years of working as a trainer, coach and consultant,I have had the privilege of working with very smart graduates, millennials,boomers, leaders and their teams. My clients have spanned a range of professions,including scientists, programmers, professors, CEOs, CFOs, presidents, financialanalysts and engineers. Each of these individuals had “designer college degrees”and were deemed well accomplished by their peers. They were employed in goodjobs, but were unhappy—each stating they had “lost their groove.” I also workwith smart people who have derailed their careers, often leaders and those whowork alongside them. These smart people do not intentionally set out to derailtheir careers, but do so as a result of unhealthy behaviors and habits that taketheir career off track.Whether these smart people derailed their careers due to unhealthy habitsor were unhappy and employed, I began to witness a series of behaviors,excuses and stories that had nothing to do with intellect, age, gender or levelwithin the organization. What these behaviors, habits and excuses did indicate wasthe inability to make emotional or social connections that ignite the passion—or“groove”—in oneself and in others.Thus, I began to acquire knowledge, research and best
- Leaders, individuals and scholars have often asked, “So, what prompted youto write this book?” Over the last 25 years of working as a trainer, coach and consultant,I have had the privilege of working with very smart graduates, millennials,boomers, leaders and their teams. My clients have spanned a range of professions,including scientists, programmers, professors, CEOs, CFOs, presidents, financialanalysts and engineers. Each of these individuals had “designer college degrees”and were deemed well accomplished by their peers. They were employed in goodjobs, but were unhappy—each stating they had “lost their groove.” I also workwith smart people who have derailed their careers, often leaders and those whowork alongside them. These smart people do not intentionally set out to derailtheir careers, but do so as a result of unhealthy behaviors and habits that taketheir career off track.Whether these smart people derailed their careers due to unhealthy habitsor were unhappy and employed, I began to witness a series of behaviors,excuses and stories that had nothing to do with intellect, age, gender or levelwithin the organization. What these behaviors, habits and excuses did indicate wasthe inability to make emotional or social connections that ignite the passion—or“groove”—in oneself and in others.Thus, I began to acquire knowledge, research and best
- Self: How does your resume or LinkedIn profile showcase your strengths- why beyond your meaningful work – your values Describe a situation at work when you were really enthusiastic about something? How did that enthusiasm impact others?Questions to ask membersHow do emotions” or heart impact your career?Questions to ask meCan you tell me more about leading your career with emotions? Sure. The buss word is often referred to as meaningful work. My research about very smart people found that “being the best in the world” was not enough to sustain career of greatness. What was as important, and often more important, was living a career of significance.They say there are two types of people who are successful in their career … those who Want to BE somebody great, or those who want to DO something great. That is the essence of a career of greatness. The ability to lead your career to achieve personal success ( best in the world) and career significance ( best for the world) When I coach clients, I often inquire about what are they doing that is creating greatness for themselves and also for their legacy? Exploring both success and significance. I then inquire, how are you communicating this to others?
- So you have to make a choice, and this choice determines whether you thrive or survive. The key is how you choose to master your emotional brain. Self: How does your resume or LinkedIn profile showcase your strengths- why beyond your meaningful work – your values Describe the concept of hope vs. fear emotional paths.Ask key questionsWhat keeps you up at night?What keeps your team members up at nightMastery: Have you ever been in a situation where you sensed you needed to adjust or modify your behavior? Tell me about how you set the tone/mood of a conversation?What is present when you are in flow?
- Describe a situation at work when you were really enthusiastic about something? How did that enthusiasm impact others?Attraction: Tell me about a time when you did or said something that had a positive impact on others?Why are people attracted to you? Describe a situation at work when you were really enthusiastic about something? How did that enthusiasm impact others?
- It is mentally, and often physically, stepping back, to examine and reflect on a situation and then, determine the best action. Resilience is managing the mind- body- emotional connectionTalk about a time when you persevere – against the odds?What happens when you feel stressed?Do you look happy or feel happy.Avoid Thinkin StinkinEXERCISEPick something that happened to you in the last week that left you feeling vulnerable. Jot least ten different interpretations of the event- how you interpreted what was said, done, etc. (As you do this exercise, you might even begin to realize something else: which is that the likelier you are to believe in a given interpretation, the higher your chances are of finding evidence to support it!)Pay attention to the emotional response that each interpretation generates.Every interpretation results in a different emotion: some are positive, some are negative and some are neutral. Allow yourself to fully feel the emotion that comes with each interpretation. At the end of the exercise, ask yourself: "Which of these emotions would I rather feel more often in my life?"And once you've answered that, ask yourself: "What kinds of interpretation tend to result in these kinds of emotion?“ This is the power of emotional resiliency.d.
- Tolerance: Tell me about a time when you realized a conversation was not going as expected? How did you know? Describe a time when you jumped to conclusions?How do you demonstrate empathy? Tell me about a time when you learned something by listening to someone? Tell me about a time when you realized something was best left unsaid?
- Evolve: Tell me about a time when you spoke up or initiate an action at work or school? Describe how you stretch your comfort zone – innovate? How do you view mistakes? Tell me about a mistake and what you learned?
- Reciprocity: Discuss a time when you expressed gratitude toward someone at work/school? Discuss a time when someone expressed gratitude towards you? Describe a time when you asked someone for help or information?Question to membersHow do leader’s communicate tolerance?How can leaders display reciprocity – such as teach and be taught or lead and be led?Evolve: Tell me about a time when you spoke up or initiate an action at work or school? Describe how you stretch your comfort zone – innovate? How do you view mistakes? Tell me about a mistake and what you learned?
- The Power of INTERPRETATION.