This document discusses self-esteem, defining it as confidence in one's self-worth and ability to cope with challenges. It outlines benefits of high self-esteem like persistence and respect from others. Factors impacting self-esteem are also examined, from workplace to relationships. Healthy self-esteem is described as rational and creative while unhealthy is defensive. Steps to build self-esteem involve challenging negative voices, accepting oneself, and acting with integrity. Overall, the document provides an overview of self-esteem, its impacts, and strategies to improve it.

1. Self-Esteem, Objectives:
Be able to define “self-esteem”.
Be able to figure out how high or how low your
self-esteem is.
Be able to describe healthy ways to build your
self-esteem.
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2. What is self esteem ?
Self-worth
Confidence in our ability to think and cope with life’s
challenges
Confidence in our right to be happy and successful
A feeling that we are deserving, entitled to assert our
needs and desires

3. Benefits of high self-esteem
More persistent at a difficult task
Increased respect for oneself and behave in ways
that encourage others to respect (Me)more
Improve unconscious behavior
Feel better, live better

4. The impact of self-esteem on our lives:
How we operate in the workplace
School
Home
How we chose our friends
Who we fall in love with

5. The higher our self-esteem
The easier we are able to pick ourselves up after a
fall (tragedies,problems etc.).
The stronger the drive to express our true nature
and the sense of richness within.
The better we are able to form nurturing vs. toxic
relationships.
The tendency to be drawn to others with high self-
esteem.

6. Our first steps to building self-esteem is to:
• Raise the level of our consciousness in the face of
emotional resistance.
• Claim our personal power.
• Identify “pseudo-self-esteem”: someone that has a
lot of worldly success but feels like a failure inside
and has a deep sense of inadequacy.

7. Healthy vs. unhealthy
self-esteem
Rationality, realism
Creativity
Independence
Flexibility
Ability to manage change
Willingness to admit
mistakes
See others as inferior
Fear of the unknown
Inappropriate conformity
or rebelliousness
Defensiveness
Over controlling
hostility

8. High self-esteem
Is the best predictor of personal happiness.
Is like having an emotional surplus, thus it is easier
to love.
The opposite is emotional improvishment, which
means you have a lot of unfulfilled needs.

9. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
Draw a triangle
On the bottom put your basic human needs, food,
oxygen, water, sex
Next put shelter, safety, health
Then love and belonging
Then education, learning, self-esteem
At the top:self-actualization

10. A self-actualized person displays:
Acceptance of self, others and nature
Self-direction, highly motivated
Problem-solving ability
Satisfying relationship with others

11. WHAT IS REQUIRED FOR MANY OF US, PARADOXICAL
THOUGH IT MAY SOUND, IS THE COURAGE TO
TOLERATE HAPPINESS WITHOUT SELF-SABOTAGE
The needs are simple, but for many
of us, we do not feel truly deserving
of the higher level needs

12. Within ourselves we have:
Destructive voices
Memories, unconscious and conscious of failure
Fear
Self-doubt
Self-sabotage

13. Confronting those voices
Try not to run from them
Try not to ignore them
Challenge them to give reasons
Distinguish between fact and fiction,
Distinguish between feelings that are based on
reality vs a non reality
perseverance is self-esteem building

14. Average self-esteem:
Fluctuate between feeling appropriate and
inappropriate
Sometimes act wisely, sometimes foolishly
Inconsistent in behavior
This relationship with self reflects relationships with
others

15. What causes low self-esteem?
Overly critical Parents
Significant childhood losses
Parental abuse
Parental alcoholism and drug addiction
Parental neglect/overprotectiveness
Parental rejection
Parental overindulgence

16. How can we improve our self-esteem?
Living more consciously
Taking good care of yourself
The practice of self-acceptance
The practice of self-responsibility
Self assertiveness
Developing support and intimacy
The practice of personal integrity

17. The practice of living consciously:
Watch your thoughts…do you find yourself saying:
I know I am not doing my best but I do not want to
think about it.
I know the way I eat is wrecking my health but….
I know I am living beyond my means, but…

18. Living consciously means:
Being in the moment
A concern to understand the world around me
A commitment to learning
To seek clarity
Be aware of values that motivate me
Distinguish between facts and feelings

19. Self acceptance
Self-esteem is something we experience, self-
acceptance is something we do.
Refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with self.
Listening to feelings can lead to a deeper awareness
of important information

20. Self-assertiveness/responsibility
Willingness to stand up for self
Protecting boundaries
To live by your values
Learn to be kind without self-sacrificing
Cooperate with others without betraying our
standards and convictions

21. Living purposefully
To live productively
Translating thoughts into reality
Answering questions such as: What am I trying to
achieve ? Why do I think these means are
appropriate ? Does the feedback from the
environment convey that I am succeeding or failing ?

22. The practice of personal integrity
Is the integration of ideals, standards, beliefs and
behaviors
When our behavior is congruent with our professed
values, when ideals and practice match, we have
integrity
When we have lapses in integrity it is detrimental to
our self-esteem

23. One of the biggest enemies to high self-esteem is
Laziness:
We do not challenge our inertia
We do not chose to be “awake”
We do not wish to experience discomfort
The greatest problem is that it becomes a vicious
cycle and our “laziness” or inaction damages our self-
esteem and we tend to become more lazy.

24. Self-esteem exercise
If I bring more awareness to my life today…..
If I boost my energy level by 5% today…
Write a letter to your “inner child”:
Start by taking a few deep breaths, picture yourself as
a child,ask yourself are there any needs that were not
met, then write a nurturing letter to sooth your “inner
child”.
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