The document discusses eliminating redundancy to improve conciseness in writing. It provides examples of redundant phrases in passages about toxic managers, change initiatives, and change leadership. The passages are rewritten to remove unnecessary repetition of words and ideas. Spotting and removing redundant information ensures writing remains concise while still communicating all essential points.

1. Redundancy

2. Why spot redundancy?
◦ Keeping your writing under the word limit can be tricky. This is because
writers unnecessarily repeat statements, which is known as redundancy.
This can confuse your readers. Therefore, eliminating repeated information
can ensure that your writing remains concise while covering all your points.

3. Lubit (2004) suggests that the behaviours of toxic managers act like a ripple effect
changing the culture and affecting people beyond the point of impact. Toxic managers take
people’s energy and focus away from their real work, damage morale, weaken retention,
and hinder cooperation and information sharing. Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of
engagement from management to employees and not allowing ample time for changes to
set in causes most change initiatives to fail. As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) find that change
leadership can affect both emergent and planned change management results positively
and significantly.
Can you spot the redundant words/phrases?

4. Now, let’s break the paragraph down and analyse
redundant words/phrases in a more detailed way
Lubit (2004) suggests that the behaviours of toxic
managers act like a ripple effect changing the culture
and affecting people beyond the point of impact. Toxic
managers take people’s energy and focus away from
their real work, damage morale, weaken retention, and
hinder cooperation and information sharing.

5. Can you spot the redundant words/phrases?
Lubit (2004) suggests that the behaviours of
toxic managers act like a ripple effect changing
the culture and affecting people beyond the
point of impact . Toxic managers take people’s
energy and focus away from their real work,
damage morale, weaken retention, and hinder
cooperation and information sharing.
‘Toxic managers’ is
repeated twice
when the second
one can be
replaced using a
pronoun.
‘ripple effect’, ‘affect’,
‘impact’ all mean the
same thing, e.g. when
you ‘affect’ someone,
you make an ‘impact’ or
have an ‘effect’ on
someone.
‘take people’s energy
and focus away from
their real work’ has a
similar meaning as
‘damage morale’.

6. Lubit (2004) suggests that the behaviours of
toxic managers act like a ripple effect changing
the culture and affecting people beyond the
point of impact . Toxic managers take people’s
energy and focus away from their real work,
damage morale, weaken retention, and hinder
cooperation and information sharing.
‘Toxic managers’ is
repeated twice
when the second
one can be
replaced using a
pronoun.
‘ripple effect’, ‘affect’,
‘impact’ all mean the
same thing, e.g. when
you ‘affect’ someone,
you make an ‘impact’ or
have an ‘effect’ on
someone.
‘take people’s energy
and focus away from
their real work’ has a
similar meaning as
‘damage morale’.
Can you re-write the passage to make it more concise?

7. Example concise sentence
Lubit (2004) suggests that the behaviours of toxic managers act like a ripple effect changing the culture and
affecting people beyond the point of impact. Toxic managers take people’s energy and focus away from their
real work, damage morale, weaken retention, and hinder cooperation and information sharing.
Toxic managers can have a negative impact on employees such as damaging morale, weakening retention,
and hindering cooperation and information sharing (Lubit, 2004).

8. Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of engagement
from management to employees and not
allowing ample time for changes to set in causes
most change initiatives to fail.
Now, let’s break the paragraph down and analyse
redundant words/phrases in a more detailed way

9. Can you spot the redundant words/phrases?
Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of
engagement from management to employees
and not allowing ample time for changes to set
in causes most change initiatives to fail.
When you ‘manage’
people, the people
are your
‘employees’.
‘Employees’ in this
passage is
redundant since
‘management’ says
enough.
‘change initiatives’
means to make some
‘changes’. They are
repetitive.
When things ‘set in’, it
takes ‘time’ anyway.
‘ample time’ and ‘set
in’ are repetitive.

10. Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of
engagement from management to employees
and not allowing ample time for changes to set
in causes most change initiatives to fail.
When you ‘manage’
people, the people
are your
‘employees’.
‘Employees’ in this
passage is
redundant since
‘management’ says
enough.
‘change initiatives’
means to make some
‘changes’. They are
repetitive.
When things ‘set in’, it
takes ‘time’ anyway.
‘ample time’ and ‘set
in’ are repetitive.
Can you re-write the passage to make it more concise?

11. Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of engagement from management to employees and not
allowing ample time for changes to set in causes most change initiatives to fail.
Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of engagement from management causes change initiatives to
fail.
Example concise sentence

12. As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) find that change
leadership can affect both emergent and planned
change management results positively and significantly.
Now, let’s break the paragraph down and analyse
redundant words/phrases in a more detailed way

13. Can you spot the redundant words/phrases?
As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) find that change
leadership can affect both emergent and
planned change management results positively
and significantly.
When you ‘affect’
someone, it creates
‘results’ automatically.
‘Results’ is unnecessary
here.

14. As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) find that change
leadership can affect both emergent and
planned change management results positively
and significantly.
When you ‘affect’
someone, it creates
‘results’ automatically.
‘Results’ is unnecessary
here.
Can you re-write the passage to make it more concise?

15. As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) believe that change leadership can have a positive effect on both
emergent and planned change management.
As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) find that change leadership can affect both emergent and planned
change management results positively and significantly.
Example concise sentence

16. Lubit (2004) suggests that the behaviours of toxic managers act like a ripple effect changing
the culture and affecting people beyond the point of impact, whereby toxic managers take
peoples energy and focus away from their real work, damage morale, weaken retention,
and hinder cooperation and information sharing. Stanleigh (2008) found that a lack of
engagement from management to employees and not allowing ample time for changes to
set in causes most change initiatives to fail. As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) find that change
leadership can affect both emergent and planned change management results positively
and significantly.
Toxic managers can have a negative impact on employees such as damaging morale,
weakening retention, and hindering cooperation and information sharing (Lubit, 2004).
Stanleigh (2008) finds that a lack of engagement from management causes change
initiatives to fail. As a result, Al-Ali et al (2017) believe that change leadership can have a
positive effect on both emergent and planned change management.
See how much more concise the passage has become?
Older version
Improved version