The document outlines a peer mentor training program focusing on the roles and responsibilities of mentors, including expectations, boundaries, and communication strategies. It emphasizes the importance of mentors as supportive figures while clarifying what they are not, such as surrogate parents or therapists. The training also includes tips for effective problem-solving and active listening to foster a healthy mentoring relationship.

1. Peer Mentor Training Mayor’s Office for Children, Youth and Families 50 Broad St. Charleston, SC 29401

2. AGENDA Overview/Logistics of Program & Introductions A. Purpose B. Ground Rules C. Program Goals Role of a Mentor A. Expectations of Mentors B. Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries C. Tips for the 1st Session Listening and Communication A. Open-ended Questions B. Non-judgmental responses C. Listening to understand Problem Solving A. Managing Conflict B. Making Decisions Feedback Additional Q&A

3. Roles of Mentors A Mentor is A friend A coach A supporter A motivator An advocate A role model A listener A mentor is not A surrogate parent Replacement of a teacher or tutor A psychologist An ATM A playmate A social worker A savior

4. Expectations of Mentors Mentors should Ask the mentee what they would like to do during a meeting Listen more than talk Play games, just hang out, or help with homework depending on what the mentee asks for that day Allow the mentee to naturally bring up issues and concerns about his or her life Help to build the mentee’s own confidence to be successful Mentors should limit Tell the mentee what they need to do during the match meeting Give advice more than listen Focus on hard tasks to meet specific goals based on what the mentor thinks the mentee needs Push the mentee to talk about issues or concerns about his/her life Try to “fix” the mentee’s problems

5. Boundaries Can be thought of as a protective barrier that helps to keep us safe Is important so that each person in a mentoring relationship is clear about his/her role Help establish trust in the relationship

6. Boundaries Scenario 1 You arrive at your usual meeting place, but your mentee has not arrived. You had previously called your mentee to let him/her know what time to meet. What should you do or say next time you talk to your mentee?

7. Boundaries Scenario 2 You have been matched with your mentee for about 6 weeks and you are starting to bond. Your mentee texts you about a big party happening over the weekend and asks you for a ride. How will you handle the situation?

8. Boundaries Scenario 3 You and your mentee hit it off right away. You were very excited about your match until a couple of weeks ago when your mentee started calling you and sending you multiple texts throughout the day. You don’t want to hurt your mentee’s feelings, but are tired and overwhelmed with all the calls and texts. What should you do?

9. Boundaries Scenario 4 You and your mentee have been consistently meeting for a couple of months and have some really great conversations. One day your mentee tells you that he/she is ready to have sex and asks your advice about being safe. What do you do?

10. Boundaries- Key Points If you are not sure how to respond to a situation, you have every right to request time to think about it. It is best to set boundaries from the start and make adjustments as necessary. If you are unsure about a situation, need help figuring out how to proceed, or need an intervention, you can go to program staff for support.

11. Tips for getting started Be prepared and be on time Have your first few meetings somewhere where it will be easy to talk Clarify expectations and ground rules Have some icebreaker questions ready Be predictable and consistent Establish confidentiality

12. Open-ended Communication Learn to ask questions that require more than one-word answers Use “What” or “How” Keep the conversation going by asking follow-up questions or providing open-ended responses to questions asked

13. Sample Inviting Questions What is your favorite thing to do at school? How would you change school, if you could? What do you look for in a friend? What do you like to do with your friends? How do you deal with stress? What do you hope to be doing in five years? How are you going to get there? How do you handle homework? What five words best describe you?

14. Non-judgmental Communication Make sure you understand what is said or felt “ did you mean that…” or “What I heard you say is…” Respond neutrally without approving or disapproving “ That’s one way of looking at it. What might be another?” or “What might your friends, parent, teacher, think about that?” Show your mentee that what he or she says is valued

15. What could you say instead of… If you go out tonight, you will fail your test tomorrow! Kids who make fun of you are not really your friends. You need to learn to work harder. Why did you do that ?

16. Active Listening S it up straight L ean forward A ct interested N od T rack

17. Listening to understand Be aware of your body language Don’t plan what to say next while your mentee is talking Listen for emotions, attitudes and feelings. “It sounds like you’re feeling angry about that” or “You seem discouraged” or “Are you tired?”

18. Problem Solving/Decision Making Model Define the Problem Brainstorm Options Anticipate the Consequences Respond with the best choice

19. Final Thoughts Additional Q&A The Mentee Training Robyn Mulligan, AmeriCorps VISTA [email_address]