This document discusses how to help others flourish by focusing on building healthy relationships. It emphasizes considering things from others' points of view, thinking about what they want from the relationship, and focusing on their emotions and needs rather than your own. Specifically, the document recommends inspiring others with a sense of purpose or cause, building their confidence by showing you believe in them, and providing education to help them fulfill their potential. When leaders help their teams flourish both professionally and emotionally through these techniques, it creates a virtuous circle of growth and success for all.

1. Making others flourish

2. Agenda
•
Why are we here?
•
What are we describing?
•
What’s the answer?
•
How might we apply it?
•
Confessional....

3. It’s a verb…
“flourish”
“grow or develop in a wealthy or vigorous way”
[source: OED, 2010]

9. Meanwhile, modernity has
killed such poetry, but its
essence remains:
“[Good management] is the process of
social influence in which one person can
enlist the aid and support of others in the
accomplishment of a common task”
[Source: M.M. Chemers, 2002]

10. Ultimately, isn’t it just about
human relationships?
How do you and
another human
being have a
productive, decent
relationship?

11. Consider two famous
thoughts about
relationships...

12. “If you just learn a single
trick, Scout, you’ll get
along a lot better with all
kinds of folks. You never
really understand a
person until you consider
things from his point of
view...until you climb
inside his skin and walk
around in it”
Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mocking
Bird, Harper Lee

13. “This above all: to thine own self
be true,
And it must follow, as the night
the day,
Thou canst not then be false to
any man”

14. Is it all about them?
Or, is it all about you?

15. What happens when we reflect
back on ‘good management’?

17. So, here’s a question...
Who has been your
greatest “mentor”?

18. Now, another...
Why can you
ascribe that
illustrious title?

19. How do we describe others who
successfully influence us into
action?
Mentor
Smart
Motivator
Leader
Lover
Inspirer
Genius
Opinionated
Friend
GuruVisionary
Teacher

20. What’s just happened?
•
You looked inwards
•
You reflected emotionally
•
You accessed your limbic brain
•
Your neo-cortex packaged up your feelings...

21. But, this isn’t a lesson in
behavioural economics...
...though it is about managing others’ (and your own) emotions

22. The central question is...
Why do you – do we
– flourish with these
sorts of individual?

23. A recent survey reveals...
“People flourish when
they fulfil their
potential and live in
healthy relationships”
[source: CAFOD, October, 2010]

24. So, the answer is...

26. It’s All About Them...

27. How can you have a productive
relationship with someone if you
don’t think about what they want out
of it?

28. And, how can you have a productive
relationship with someone if you
don’t think about what they think of
you?

31. Now repeat the process for someone
you manage at work:
1. How do they like to feel? (in control?
safe? relaxed? Entertained?)
2. What do they think are the best things
about you & the way you make them feel?
3. What habits/attributes of yours really piss
them off?
4. How does that make them feel?

32. Now It’s All About You...

33. What do you
want to get out of
it?
What is a better
relationship from
your point of
view?

34. Think about what you would subtitle
this session?
Why are you here?

35. Cont’d...
How to get people to do more good
stuff so the agency looks good and I
get promoted further?
How to nurture others so I get the
warm glow of seeing them develop...
And the warmer glow of being
loved?
How to make other people be more
like me?

36. Think about someone you
know in your personal life
who really seems to bring out
the best in you
How do they do that?
What are you like when you are
being your best?

37. Think about someone who
managed/manages you
brilliantly...
How would you describe them?

38. Mentor
Smart
Motivator
Leader
Lover
Inspirer
Genius
Opinionated
Friend
GuruVisionary
Teacher

39. Why?
What do you want people you
manage to say about you?

40. Here’s the thing...
You flourish when
your team flourishes
– professionally and
emotionally

41. So what can you actually do?
Some tips and tricks that might help

42. Generating flourish:
1. Offer
inspiration
2. Instil
confidence
3. Deliver
education
fulfilling potential
healthy relationship

43. A virtuous circle unfolds
PLANNER

44. Here’s the acronym
Inspiration Confidence Education
...an acronym with generous intent

45. What’s the key ingredient?
Inspiration
Great mentors inspire action; know when
to lean in and when to lean back

46. ‘Inspiration’ will always ask
‘why’...
WHAT?
HOW?
WHY?
‘why’ is purpose; ‘why’ is inspiration’s fuel

47. Try asking ‘why’ of those you
seek to flourish:
Why do you think
this is the answer?

48. You must be able to answer the
why for any task...
Give your team a
cause – your cause
– and their brains
will follow

49. Behavioural economics (a
slight return)
Planners have limbic
brains too – appeal to
their instinct, through
your own

50. The ‘power of why’ can be
stated simply:
‘I BELIEVE’

51. implications

58. But beware...

60. Thank you; questions