How to Improve Your Emotional intelligence, Part 4
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In this final installment in a 4-part series about emotional intelligence, award-winning coach, speaker, and author Ros Cardinal discusses the basics of emotional intelligence and how you can begin to improve your emotional intelligence today.
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How to Improve Your Emotional intelligence, Part 4
- 1. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU A 4-PART SERIES BY ROS CARDINAL EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR
- 2. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THE FOUR SKILLS OF In this installment of our 4-part series, we're discussing the fourth skill in the Mayer & Salovey model for emotional intelligence: the ability to manage emotions.
- 3. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 Managing emotions is the ability to effectively and constructively manage your emotions and the emotions of others while also being able to incorporate those emotions into your thinking.
- 4. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 An example: Elaine is in a meeting with her division manager and the CEO of her company. She’s presenting a plan her manager has already signed off on, but at one point in the meeting, her manager (who is a bully in the workplace and enjoys humiliating others) states that he’s still unsure about the plan and is uncertain that it’s ready to be implemented.
- 5. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 An example: He expects Elaine to react angrily to this news or to be stunned into silence (therefore painting her in a bad light in front of the CEO). Elaine is certainly angry at her manager and infuriated that he would try to humiliate her. However, she is also incredibly effective at managing her emotions and so calmly responds.
- 6. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 An example: “I understand you may have concerns…” She then lists out the plan’s benefits to the company and asks her manager to clarify what his remaining objections are. He’s unable to come up with any and agrees to sign off on the plan.
- 7. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 To be clear, being adept at managing emotions isn’t synonymous with ignoring emotions altogether. It doesn’t mean that you put your emotions on hold or that you never act emotionally. Rather, it means integrating your emotions into your decision making and behaviour in such a way that the decisions you do end up making are constructive and enhancing.
- 8. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 You may experience strong emotions, but you’re still able to think clearly. You value your emotions without over valuing them, and in that way, your emotions serve as inputs to your decisions and behaviours – but never drivers to them.
- 9. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 Below, you'll find simple strategies you can begin implementing immediately in order to better develop this fourth skill in the Mayer & Salovey model.
- 10. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 "DEVELOP A META VIEW" View your emotions as an observer. Remember, emotions simply dictate how we feel. They do not define us. You don’t have to fuse with the emotion you’re presently feeling. So instead of saying “I am angry” (fusing with the emotion), you can tone down the intensity that you feel by instead observing: “I am noticing that I am getting angry.”
- 11. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 "EMOTIONS ARE TEMPORARY" Emotions are time-linked, which is to say that they're only temporary and will eventually pass. While important, they are only transient, and so you don’t need to buy into them. Whether it's after a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days, your emotion on an issue will eventually change, or at least lessen.
- 12. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 "BE OPEN TO EMOTIONS" Some people would prefer to avoid emotions altogether, but emotions can be incredibly useful. The next time you feel strong emotions about something, ask yourself what your emotions are telling you. Quite often, emotions can help guide your decisions as you consider the best way to act as a result of what you’re feeling.
- 13. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 "MANAGEMENT STRATEGY" Many people dwell too much on their emotions without doing anything about them. It’s important to take physical (or mental) activity directed at the issue at hand. This is where journaling about your emotions becomes highly beneficial. Other strategies include exercise and social support.
- 14. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MANAGING EMOTIONS SKILL #4 When you’re able to manage emotions, you'll be better equipped to bring about effective outcomes in both yourself and in the people you regularly interact with, leading to a happier and healthier personal and professional life.
- 15. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR This concludes our 4-part series on improving your emotional intelligence! Be sure to either save the links to these presentations or download the slides so that you can review them again and again.
- 16. WWW.SHAPINGCHANGE.COM.AU HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR We hope you enjoyed this presentation! Visit www.shapingchange.com.au for more resources on leadership development, change management, emotional intelligence, and more!