This document provides guidance on achieving a readable technical/scientific prose style through being concise, precise, and direct. It discusses analyzing writing for unnecessary words, appropriate level of detail, consistent terminology, and use of active voice and topic/stress positioning to clearly convey key information to the intended audience. The goal is technical writing that efficiently communicates essential concepts and insights.

1. Technical / Scientific
Prose Style and Readability
1

2. 2
Table of Contents
Introduction........................................................................................................................3
Gunning Fog Index ......................................................................................................4-7
Be Concise..........................................................................................................................8-11
Redundant Words........................................................................................................12
Dead Phrases ...............................................................................................................13-14
Unnecessary Modifiers.................................................................................................15
Summary.......................................................................................................................16
Be Precise............................................................................................................................17
Audience Expertise and Technical Terminology.......................................................18-19
Consistent Terminology................................................................................................19-20
Levels of Specifics and Detail .....................................................................................21-24
Summary.......................................................................................................................25
Be Direct ..............................................................................................................................26
Active Verbs.................................................................................................................27-28
Passive Verbs................................................................................................................29-31
Passive Voice vs. Active Voice ...................................................................................32-36
Topic Position................................................................................................................37-39
Stress Position................................................................................................................40-43
Summary.......................................................................................................................44
Conclusion..................................................................................................................................45

3. INTRODUCTION
Readability
If readers can't figure out what you are trying
to say, it means your writing isn't readable.
And, on the job, if your writing isn't readable,
it's a problem because workplace readers
don't read for pleasure, they read because
they need the information you write.
It turns out that math can help you determine
how readable your writing is – yes math!
3

4. The Gunning-Fog Index
One of the most widely used methods to
determine readability is the Gunning-Fog
Index.
It uses an algorithm to determine the number
of years of education your reader would
need in order to understand the paragraph
you write.
You can obtain your Gunning Fog Index by
cutting and pasting a paragraph of your
writing into this free tool.
4
ALGORITHIMS

5. The index score of the page you just read
is 14.31.
For a reference, here are some Fog Index
scores with corresponding reading levels
by publication.
Your writing should aim at a score
appropriate to the reading level of your
target audience.
5
GOAL
Now I know why I
dislike reading
anything from the
government. Publication Fog Index Reading Level Needed
US Government Publications 20+ Post-Graduate Plus
Academic Journal Articles 17-20 Post-Graduate
Medical Consent Forms 13-16 College Junior to Senior
New York Times and other
popular publications.
11-12 High School Junior to
Senior
National Geographic 10 High School Sophomore
Bible 7 7th
Grade

6. Technically Dense Prose
Many people, particularly academic types, like to
write technically dense prose that scores high on
the fog index.
Daniel Oppenheimer, a psych professor at
Princeton, wondered whether this helps or hampers
them.
So, he did did some experiments and published his
findings in the journal of Applied Cognitive
Psychology with this crazy title:
• "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized
Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long
Words Needlessly."
6

7. In 2006, Oppenheimer was awarded
the Ig Nobel Prize in literature. At the
ceremony, he gave what many
believe is the perfect acceptance
speech. Here it is in its entirety:
• "My research shows that conciseness
is interpreted as intelligence. So,
thank you".
• Being concise is one of three
concepts important to achieving a
readable technical / scientific style.
The other two are being precise, and
being direct.
7

8. BE CONCISE
To be concise means to be brief (of short length) yet
comprehensive (containing all information). So, how do
you do both things?
Write only the words necessary to meet your audience
needs and your purpose for writing. No more, and no less.
One of the biggest obstacles to developing a concise
prose style is the bad habit of padding your sentences
with lard.
8

9. Padding your prose with words that do not contribute
to meaning is writing lard.
9
Yes, but we only eat it,
we NEVER write it.
We love lard.

10. What Causes Lard? The most common reason
students develop the habit of
writing lard is trying to reach
word or page counts.
Most teachers do not insist
insist that you meet a specific
word count or number of
pages.
Okay, well, maybe my 8th
grade English teacher did,
but she was a bit strange.
10
Who are you
calling
strange sister?
Karen’s 8th Grade English Teacher

11. About Word Counts and Page Lengths
In school, word count and page length guidelines should
cue you to think about the level of development your
writing will need.
Padding your writing by adding unnecessary words is not
developing the content. It's just adding lard, and it's a bad
habit to get into.
The following slides will help you analyze your prose style to
determine if you have developed this habit, and how to
stop writing lard-laden sentences.
11

12. Are you writing redundant words and/or unnecessarily
repeating the same phrase or term?
12
already existing
alternative choices
at the present time presently
basic fundamentals
currently at this time
completely eliminate
continue to remain
had done previously
introduced a new
mix together
never before
none at all
now at this time
private industry
separate entities
the reason being
because
silver in color
start out
still persists
whether or not
first began
period of time
empty space
In 1928, Alexander Fleming discovered for the first time that Penicillium mold
could kill Staphylococcus bacteria in petri dishes. Fleming
named the lethal antibacterial chemical secreted by the deadly
Penicillium mold, dubbing it "penicillin."
In 1928, Alexander Fleming discovered that Penicillium mold could kill
Staphylococcus bacteria in petri dishes. He dubbed the lethal antibacterial
chemical secreted by the mold "penicillin."

13. Are you writing dead phrases?
13
it is my intent to show
as a matter of fact
as is well known
as stated earlier
it is noteworthy
the presence of
it goes without saying
A dead phrase usually has a
pompous tone and is not saying
anything necessary.

14. 14
at the present time now
at that point in time then
has the ability to can
has the potential to will
in the event that if
in the vicinity of near
owing to the fact that because
the reason being that because
the question as to whether whether
there is no doubt but that no doubt
for the purpose of to
Some phrases may only be near death; do you
have phrases that could be useful if revived with
one word?
Yes! They
have a
heartbeat
now.

15. Are you writing unnecessary modifiers?
• Unnecessary modifiers may
be considered lard if they
are not contributing much
to the meaning you intend.
• Some of these modifiers
may reveal a need to be
more precise (concept 2).
Examples
• Actually,
• Really,
• Basically,
• Very,
• Definitely,
• Somewhat,
• Probably,
• Extremely,
• Practically.
15

16. Summary: to analyze your writing for Being Concise
Check your writing for
• unnecessary repetition (redundant words,
repeating phrases or terms that mean the
same thing),
• dead phrases or wordy phrases that
could be useful if replaced by a single
word,
• unnecessary modifiers.
16

17. BE PRECISE
The second concept in achieving a readable style is to
be precise. To be precise means to be exact and
accurate. In technical writing, how precise you need to
be is based on the audience.
• Be careful when writing to an audience with a low-level
of technical expertise, that you are not using technical
terminology that is so exact the audience would not
understand what you mean.
AND
• Be careful when writing to an audience with a high level
of technical expertise that you are using technical
terminology that is more accurate than common words
and phrases.
17

18. A bid proposal to homeowners about the cost of paving their
driveway would not use these technical terms:
• The cost to pave your driveway using a mix of aggregate
bonded with calcium to form an agglomerate will be . . . .
• The word “concrete” is precise enough.
18
Audiences with a low-level of technical expertise
need Plain English.

19. Audiences with a high-level of expertise need
more precision.
Our research presents a new technique for studying the complex
phenomena associated with the development of sparks and other
gas discharges.
19
Audiences with a high-level of technical expertise would
question why the author is conflating sparks and gas
discharges because these are different, so the writing is
not being precise.

20. All terms need to be used consistently.
Although young drivers say they believe that distracted driving is a
problem, our tests revealed that over 90% of teenage drivers still
engage in distracted driving behaviors. The objective of this study
was to survey the effectiveness of involving students in the
production of public service announcements (PSA). The PSA's were
aimed at changing the disconnect between what drivers say they
believe and what they do. Our experiment revealed that when
students produced PSA's, these announcements were more effective
in changing this disconnect. (inconsistent use of terms)
• Was it a test, study, survey, or an experiment?
• Were they young drivers, teenage drivers, all drivers, or just
students?
20

21. Level of specifics and detail.
To determine if specifics and detail are at the right level, you
need to think about audience and your purpose for writing.
Example:
A mailing address is specific and contains the details
necessary for someone to send you mail or a package.
The specifics and details of a mailing address, however, would
not be enough to identify property in a mortgage contract.
• Different audiences --- Different purposes ---- Different needs.
21

22. Think about what you wanted readers to understand, think
about, or do after reading what you wrote. Did you write the
level of specifics and details they needed?
After recognizing some problems with the solar mirrors,
we took subsequent corrective measures.
What problems?
Should I be worried?
What corrective measures?
Why are you telling me this?
What do you want me to do?
22

23. 23
We recently discovered that ten solar mirrors stored
horizontally had cracked. The cause was traced to
large amounts of snow accumulating on their surface.
In the future, we will be stowing all mirrors vertically.
I see, you are telling me about a
problem you solved.
I’m relieved to know this.
Thanks for updating me about the solar
mirrors.

24. Something to think about.
When analyzing your prior writing for the appropriate level of
specifics and detail, you may want to consider the purpose of
writing papers and reports for college courses.
In college, your purpose is to demonstrate that you are
knowledgeable about the subject matter, and is connected
to what you want the audience to think about, better
understand, and/or do with the information you provide?
Was your purpose to explain? persuade? inform? Or???
Did you provide enough specifics and detail to achieve your
purpose for writing?
24

25. Summary: to analyze your writing for Being Precise
• Consider if your writing is using technical terminology
appropriate to the audience level,
• Check your writing for consistent use of terms.
• Check if the level of specifics and detail were appropriate to
meet audience needs and your purpose for writing.
25

26. BE DIRECT
The third concept to achieving a readable style is “to be
direct.” To be direct means to be straightforward. But
what does that mean when you are writing?
It means your writing needs to get to the point. And, to do
that, you need to use:
• mostly active verbs,
• mostly active voice (but know when passive is a better choice),
• topic position
• stress position
26

27. Are your verbs active or lazy?
Lazy verbs are generic and vague:
• The results of this study show . . . .
• This study dealt with . . .
• The test involves . . .
Active verbs describe work and reveal analytical thinking:
• The results of this study challenge . . .
• This study characterizes . . .
• The test measured . .
27

28. List of Active Verbs: use the list to determine if a verb you
wrote could be replaced with a better one from this list.
28

29. Does your writing use passive verbs appropriately?
To be verbs are passive because they cannot convey
action only a state of being: is, are, was, were, etc.
When defining a word, a passive verb fine.
• A positron is a positively charged electron.
29

30. Unnecessary use of passive verbs drains the
energy out of your writing.
• A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel
exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to
test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease
in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.
Notice how the revision below is direct and has energy:
This paper presents a new process for eliminating nitrogen
oxides from the exhaust of diesel engines. To test this
process, we performed experiments in flow tubes. These
experiments revealed a 99 percent decrease in nitrogen
oxide emissions.
30

31. Be careful when using active voice with inanimate
objects. Avoid the Dr. Frankenstein effect.
31
Reasonable
The oscilloscope
displayed the voltage.
The oscilloscope
measured the voltage. V
+
-
The oscilloscope
calculated the voltage. V=

32. Use Mostly
Active Voice
32
but know when
Passive Voice
is the better choice.
Why in the hell would you ever
use passive voice?
Because sometimes it’s a
better rhetorical choice.

33. • Active voice means the subject of a sentence is doing the action.
• John washed the car.
The focus is on who is doing the action.
• Passive voice means the object being acted upon is the subject
and who is doing the action is implied (or added with a “by”
phrase).
• The car was washed.
Or
The car was washed by John.
The focus is on the action.
33

34. Why this stuff is confusing.
• Grammar checkers will count the number of passive verbs (is,
are, were, was, etc.) But, a passive verb is not the same as
passive voice.
• So, let’s use zombies instead of the grammar checker to
determine if you are using passive voice appropriately.
34
Why is this
so hard??
Let’s see if I
can make
it easier.

35. Here's an easy way to
determine if you are writing
in passive voice.
• If you can add “by
zombies” at the end of
the sentence, it’s
passive.
35

36. But, sometimes you should use passive voice.
In technical and scientific prose style, passive voice
is preferred when what was done is more important
than who did it.
36
• DNA was extracted . . .
• Test holes were bored . . .
• Samples were taken . . .
• Surveying was done . . .

37. Use Topic Position The beginning of a sentence
or paragraph sets up the
topic, so it is referred to as the
topic position.
Readers use the topic
position, to get a sense of
where a paragraph is going
to take them.
If you don’t write a topic
sentence, readers will get lost
or confused.
37

38. Try reading this:
38

39. Notice how a topic sentence clears up any
confusion about what the paragraph is about.
39

40. Use Stress Position • Readers place greater
emphasis on information that is
at the end of a sentence,
paragraph, or chapter.
• It’s where they look to figure
out the point a writer is making.
This placement is known as the
stress position or stress
emphasis.
• If the ending leaves readers
wondering what the sentence
or paragraph means, it’s like
never arriving at a destination.
40

41. 41
Look at the end of your sentences. Are the words in the stress
position saying what you want to emphasize? If not trim the end.
Sociobiologists claim genes control our social behavior in the
way we act in situations we are in every day.
Since social behavior means the way we act in situations, the
words at the end are unnecessary and throw the emphasis off in
this sentence.

42. 42
Metadiscourse often takes up the stress position.
Job opportunities in computer programming are getting
scarcer, it must be remembered.
Metadiscourse draws attention to what is being said, it often
sounds preachy and pompous. Get rid of it no matter where
it shows up in your writing.

43. Strings of prepositions make it hard for readers to
find the emphasis you intend.
The condition of the patient was documented in the patient
profile written by the nurse on duty during the after-hours
shift.
Eliminate strings of prepositions by being direct, so the stress
emphasis is clear.
The after-hours nurse documented the patient’s condition in
the patient profile.
43

44. Summary: to analyze your writing for Being Direct
Check your writing to determine if you are
writing:
• mostly active verbs,
• mostly active voice (but are you able to
recognize when passive is a better choice?),
• topic sentences,
• check if what you want to emphasize
(your point) is in the stress position.
44

45. Conclusion: ask yourself
• If you were the intended reader, would you know what the
writer wanted you to think about, understand, and/or do
with this information?
45
If you respond to your
writing like this, your style
is not effective
If you respond to your
writing like this, your
writing is effective.
What was I trying
to say? My writing is
clear. I am
awesome!