This is a condensed slide deck from the first class of my Spring 2016 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS

2. Class 1
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3. Beginnings
Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]

4. Intro 20 mins
An exercise 30 mins
Coaching tools 15 mins
Partnerships 30 mins
Logistics 10 mins
Today’s agenda
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5. Who am I?
Executive coach
GSB Instructor & alumnus
LeadLabs, Fellows, Touchy Feely
Contributor @HarvardBiz (a book?)

6. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

7. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

8. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

9. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

10. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
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11. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

12. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Respect confidentiality
Minimize distractions
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

13. Why coaching
matters to me…
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients

14. Why self-coaching
does, too
<1%
6 to 24 months
Help people help themselves

15. So what IS
coaching?
Not consulting
Not diagnostic
Coachee owns the agenda
Coachee makes the decisions

16. & self-coaching?
Guiding our own growth & development
Not solitary, but self-directed
Partners are essential
You’ll have 2 here

17. Positive
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psychology

18. Positive
psychology
Study of what makes life most worth living
Focused on strengths & weaknesses
Robust research to date

19. Sense of agency  We blame ourselves
Risk of social comparison
Avoid triumph & despair
Get curious instead
The downside

20. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

21. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

22. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

23. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

24. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

25. Joyful learning
Judy Willis
Teachers limit stress levels, students learn more

26. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point

27. Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy

28. CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions

29. Safety, trust,
intimacy
Built through relationships
A critical skill for self-coaching
You’ll practice in here with classmates

30. Coaching team
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31. Coaching tools
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32. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

33. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way?

34. Modes of inquiry
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35. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

36. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

37. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Challenge their narrative
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

38. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

39. Ask better
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questions

40. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

41. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
That’s advocacy, not coaching
questions

42. Ask better
One tip…
Ask once & stop
questions

43. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

44. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

45. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ listening
How they feel > what you hear

46. Listening skills
Focused attention > time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact
No multi-tasking
Eliminate distractions

47. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston
Shame & empathy
Edgar Schein, MIT
Shame in helping relationships

48. Shame &
empathy
Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]

49. Shame &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
empathy

50. Shame &
Shame = Creates distance
Empathy = Creates closeness
empathy

51. Shame &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
empathy

52. Shame &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
empathy

53. Shame &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ agreement)
empathy

54. Traps for the
coach
Photo by Casey Fleser [link]

55. Traps for the
coach
Excessive pattern recognition
Giving advice prematurely
Overpowering resistance
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

56. Photo by Don-Pixel [link]
Partners, Part 1

57. Photo by Sabri Yildiz [link]
Partners, Part 2

58. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings = PDFs or websites
Assignments = Left & bottom of home
Need help? Email nonna@stanford.edu

59. Course logistics
Contact me (also on Canvas)
edbatista@stanford.edu
Cell: 415-235-4272
Email/phone/text
8am-6pm

60. Grading
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61. Grading
Attendance* 45%
Weekly assignments 40%
Final paper 15%
Pass/fail allowed
3.45 mean GPA

62. Attendance
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63. Attendance
It matters (a LOT)
Work in pairs & small groups
Unexcused absence = drop one grade

64. Written work
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65. Written work
8 weekly assignments (1000 word limit)
Final paper (3000 word limit)
Deadline = Wed @ 6pm

66. Written work
The content is up to you
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements
I encourage you to look ahead, not back

67. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timeliness
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

68. 1:1 Meetings
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69. 1:1 Meetings
Appointments: www.bitly.com/CoachingSessions
Default = Meet in front of Bass & go for a walk
Entirely optional, no impact on grade
Wednesdays & Fridays only

70. For next time…
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71. Change
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72. Change
Week 2 Assignment due Wednesday 6pm