This document provides an overview of the first class in a self-coaching course. It includes the agenda for the introductory class which involves warm-up exercises, an introduction to conceptual frameworks and coaching tools, and partner conversations. The instructor emphasizes that the classes are meant to build on each other and provide a foundation in topics like beginnings, change, attention, emotion, happiness, resilience and more. Participants are asked to commit to active participation, challenge themselves, and provide feedback to help improve the course.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Spring 2020

2. Welcome!
Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]

3. Beginnings
Photo by J Brooks [link]

4. Let’s get real

5. Let’s get real
Not what you expected to be doing this month
(Me either)

6. Let’s get real
Not what you expected to be doing 3 weeks ago
My job: Help leaders face difficult challenges
This course isn’t a solution (but it can help)

7. Let’s get ready

8. Let’s get ready
The world has gone from peacetime to wartime
We need people who are prepared to step up
This course isn’t a solution (but it can help)

9. Help me improve

10. Help me improve
I’m learning as I go—I’ll need your feedback
selfcoachingcourse@gmail.com
I’ll read everything

11. Intro 25 mins
An exercise 20 mins
Coaching tools 15 mins
Partners 25 mins
Logistics 5 mins
Today’s agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

12. Who am I?
Executive coach

13. Who am I?
Executive coach (COVID-19 all day, every day)
Lecturer at Stanford GSB

14. Who am I?

15. Last year…

16. This year?

17. Nope

18. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
If anything else would be helpful, email me.
Working
agreements

19. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

20. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

21. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

22. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements

23. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

24. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

25. Warm-up

26. Warm-up
Class prep: Sharpie or magic marker and a pad
Draw your spirit animal: You have 45 seconds

27. Warm-up
Discuss with your partner
Why is this my spirit animal?
3 minutes total, 1:30 per person
Watch the timer onscreen to keep track

28. Why do that?

29. What to expect

30. What to expect
Classes build on each other, laying a foundation

31. What to expect
Classes build on each other, laying a foundation
1.BEGINNINGS
2.CHANGE
3.ATTENTION

32. What to expect
Classes build on each other, laying a foundation
1.BEGINNINGS 4.EMOTION
2.CHANGE 5.HAPPINESS
3.ATTENTION 6.RESILIENCE+
VULNERABILITY

33. What to expect
Classes build on each other, laying a foundation
1.BEGINNINGS 4.EMOTION 7.UNHAPPINESS
2.CHANGE 5.HAPPINESS 8.SUCCESS
3.ATTENTION 6.RESILIENCE+ 9.ENDINGS
VULNERABILITY

34. What to expect
Classes build on each other, laying a foundation
Short lectures highlighting key points
Partner conversations every class

35. Partners

36. Partners
Will need to interact real-time during class
(In-person, phone, a separate video call)
Watch the timer onscreen

37. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

38. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

39. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

40. Conceptual
frameworks
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]

41. Conceptual
Positive psychology
Neuroscience
Philosophy
However…
frameworks

42. No algorithms
Algorithm =
Unambiguous specifications to accomplish a task
Only heuristics

43. No algorithms
Heuristic =
Practical, imperfect approach to problem-solving
Only heuristics

44. No algorithms
The ART of self-coaching
The answer to most questions…
Only heuristics

45. It depends
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46. Self-coaching is
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SOCIAL

47. Self-coaching is
You’ll reflect outside of class
Class will be highly interactive
Discussions with your partner every class
SOCIAL

48. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

49. Photo by Stephen Haas [link]
A nudge,
not a shove

50. An exercise
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51. Getting to know
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you

52. Again, you need a Sharpie & a pad
Getting to know
you

53. Write down 3 statements about yourself
Write LARGE & legibly
This will be SHARED
You have 1 minute
Getting to know
you
I am ___________
I am ___________
I am ___________

54. Discuss your sheets, 2 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Use the onscreen timer to keep track
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

55. Welcome back!
Photo by Harry [link]

56. Consider all the choices you’ve been making
What did you write down? What did you say?
What did you think about writing down?
What did you think about saying?
Now reflect

57. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

58. Discuss your sheets, again
2 minutes per person, again
How might you be more candid?
One more time

59. Discuss your sheets, 2 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Use the onscreen timer to keep track
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

60. Why do that?
Photo by Harry [link]

61. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

62. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

63. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

64. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

65. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

66. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Learn to avoid the tipping point

67. Coaching tools
Photo by zzpza [link]

68. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

69. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

70. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

71. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

72. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Where shall we start?
What’s on your mind? What else?
Andy Grove on 1:1s:
The subordinate should set the agenda.
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

73. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Provoke analysis
Emotions, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

74. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
How do you feel about that?
What do you want to accomplish?
What’s your plan? What might happen?
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

75. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
NOT a “confrontation”
Challenging their narrative
Introducing new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

76. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
What other options do you have?
What other explanations might there be?
Have you considered…? (Watch the advice.)
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

77. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

78. Ask better
Photo by Alexander Drachman [link]
questions

79. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

80. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

81. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

82. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

83. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

84. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

85. Listening skills
Caroline Webb: Extreme listening
Let go of your need to feel helpful
Edgar Schein: Help doesn’t always help

86. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

87. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston

88. Empathy &
shame
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

89. Empathy &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
shame

90. Empathy &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
shame

91. Empathy &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
shame

92. Empathy &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
shame

93. Empathy &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
shame

94. Questions?
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95. For more tools…
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96. For more tools…
Today’s optional readings
Additional resources on my site

97. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Partners

98. Back to pen & paper…
Why am I taking this class?
What concerns or interests motivate me?
What are my goals? What do I hope to accomplish?
Partners

99. Discuss your sheets, 10 minutes per person
Make this your first coaching conversation
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Use the timer onscreen to keep track
Instructions

100. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
This time we’ll only go once
How might you be more candid?

101. Welcome back!
Photo by Eric Chan [link]

102. Be sure to thank
your partner
Photo by Eric Chan [link]

103. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Debrief

104. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
All readings & exercises are on my site
Along with main instructions for each class
I’ll email a new Zoom webinar link every week

105. Course logistics
Problems and feedback:
selfcoachingcourse@gmail.com
I’ll read everything—I may not be able to respond

106. For next time…
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107. Change
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108. Change
A model of change & a tactical approach
Mindset, goal-setting & grit
2 partner conversations

109. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
www.edbatista.com
Spring 2020