SlideShare a Scribd company logo
The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 6: VULNERABILITY
Class 6
Photo by Alan [link]
Vulnerability
Photo by Alan [link]
Vulnerability
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Small groups 35 mins
Vulnerability 25 mins
A conversation 20 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
Before we get
down to business
Photo by Charles Hutchins [link]
Debrief in your
What was that like?
How did it feel?
quartet
Shame &
empathy
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]
Shame &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
empathy
Shame &
Shame = Creates distance
Empathy = Creates closeness
empathy
Shame &
Disclosures often trigger shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
empathy
Shame &
But typical responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse”
3. “Here’s some advice”
empathy
Shame &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ agreement)
empathy
Vulnerability
Photo courtesy Felix Baumgartner [link]
A story
I’ll start
Vulnerability
Photo courtesy Felix Baumgartner [link]
Now it’s your turn
Spread out with your quartet
Vulnerability
Photo courtesy Felix Baumgartner [link]
4 minutes to tell your story
2 minutes for group to respond
Timing will be key
Vulnerability
Photo courtesy Felix Baumgartner [link]
How might you push yourself?
What would be too far?
Reflect for a minute
quartet
Debrief in your
What happened?
Debrief
Photo courtesy Felix Baumgartner [link]
Crucible stories
Photo by Dave Hogg [link]
Crucible stories
Photo by Dave Hogg [link]
Meaning-making
Mental models
Connections
Empathy
Vulnerability
Brené Brown
Vulnerability = oversharing or weakness
I don’t do vulnerability
I can go it alone
myths
Vulnerability
So…
If vulnerability ≠ oversharing, what’s enough?
If vulnerability ≠ weakness, what is it?
How do we build boundaries & trust?
questions
Photo by Sabri Yildiz [link]
Find your Profl.
Partner
Meta-emotion
Photo by Franco Folini [link]
Meta-emotion
John Gottman, et al
How do we feel about how we feel?
Meta-emotion
Feelings & thoughts about emotion
Yet another set of mental models
Meta-emotion
Discomfort with emotion 
Feelings themselves become triggers
Meta-emotion
Potential factor with any emotions
Particularly with vulnerability
Meta-emotion
Reflect on your worksheets
What does this
Reivich & Shatté
ABCs: Adversity  Beliefs  Consequences
Traps: Tunnel vision, overgeneralize, conclusions
Icebergs: Achievement, acceptance, control
tell me?
What might I try?
Reframing
Self-soothing
Talking about feelings
Why vulnerability
A powerful tool when we can manage it
A destructive force when we can’t
Build connections or not
Build a culture anyway
matters
For next time…
Photo by Leo Reynolds [link]
Unhappiness
Photo by Leo Reynolds [link]
Unhappiness
Subjective points of view
Stoicism, Pema Chödrön, Viktor Frankl
Which ones are most meaningful to you?
Unhappiness
Please note…
Pema Chödrön is a little out there
That’s why Oliver Burkeman is an option
Unhappiness
Also…
It can be heavy
Please don’t be late
Please plan accordingly

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