This document provides an overview of the first class of a self-coaching course. It includes the agenda for the class, which involves introductions, exercises on spirit animals and getting to know partners, discussions of conceptual frameworks and coaching tools, and logistics. Students are randomly assigned partners to discuss challenges and get feedback from. The goal is for the classes to be highly interactive and for students to challenge themselves.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Spring 2020

2. Welcome!
Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]

3. Beginnings
Photo by J Brooks [link]

4. Let’s get real

5. Let’s get real
Not what you expected in Fall 2018 (or February)
This course isn’t a solution (but it can help)
“This Quarter is what we make it.”
~Matt Madden, Class of 2020

6. Let’s get tough

7. Let’s get tough
The world has gone from peacetime to wartime
You’ll return to a very different economy
My clients need wartime leaders
(65% CEOs, 16% C-levels)

8. Help me improve

9. Help me improve
You’re doing far more online classes than I am
I’m learning as I go—I’ll need your feedback
If it’s essential, feel free to interrupt me
If it’s not, email me after class

10. Intro 25 mins
An exercise 20 mins
Coaching tools 15 mins
Partnerships 40 mins
Logistics 5 mins
Today’s agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

11. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
If anything else would be helpful, tell me.
Working
agreements

12. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

13. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

14. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

15. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements

16. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

17. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

18. Warm-up

19. Warm-up
Class prep: Sharpie or magic marker and a pad
Draw your spirit animal: You have 45 seconds

20. Warm-up
I’ll randomly assign you to breakout rooms
Discuss: Why is this my spirit animal?
3 minutes total, 1:30 per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway
Look for a 1 min countdown
Then I’ll see you back here

21. Why do that?

22. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

23. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

24. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

25. Conceptual
frameworks
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]

26. Conceptual
Positive psychology
Neuroscience
Philosophy
However…
frameworks

27. No algorithms
Algorithm =
Unambiguous specifications to accomplish a task
Only heuristics

28. No algorithms
Heuristic =
Practical, imperfect approach to problem-solving
Only heuristics

29. No algorithms
The ART of self-coaching
The answer to most questions…
Only heuristics

30. It depends
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31. Self-coaching is
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SOCIAL

32. Self-coaching is
You’ll reflect outside of class
Class will be highly interactive
Pairs & small groups every class
SOCIAL

33. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

34. Photo by Stephen Haas [link]
A nudge,
not a shove

35. An exercise
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36. Getting to know
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you

37. Again, you need a Sharpie & a pad
Getting to know
you

38. Write down 3 statements about yourself
Write LARGE & legibly
This will be SHARED
You have 1 minute
Getting to know
you
I am ___________
I am ___________
I am ___________

39. I will send you back to your breakout rooms
Discuss your sheets, 2 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

40. Welcome back!
Photo by Harry [link]

41. Consider all the choices you’ve been making
What did you write down? What did you say?
What did you think about writing down?
What did you think about saying?
Now reflect

42. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

43. Discuss your sheets, again
2 minutes per person, again
Push yourself to be a little more candid
One more time

44. Discuss your sheets, 2 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

45. Why do that?
Photo by Harry [link]

46. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

47. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

48. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

49. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

50. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

51. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Learn to avoid the tipping point

52. Coaching tools
Photo by zzpza [link]

53. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

54. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

55. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

56. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

57. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

58. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrative
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

59. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

60. Ask better
Photo by Alexander Drachman [link]
questions

61. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

62. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

63. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

64. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

65. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

66. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

67. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

68. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston

69. Empathy &
shame
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

70. Empathy &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
shame

71. Empathy &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
shame

72. Empathy &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
shame

73. Empathy &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
shame

74. Empathy &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
shame

75. For more tools…
Photo by zzpza [link]

76. For more tools…
Today’s optional readings
Course archive on my site (link on Canvas)

77. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Partners

78. 2 separate relationships
People you’ll work with all Quarter
I’ve randomly assigned both partners
Goal is to seek similarities AND differences
Waitlisted students will be paired with each other
Partners

79. Issues you’re working on
Both Professional & Personal
Distill these lists down to 3 items each
Pre-work

80. Anxiety
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81. A natural response
Want to make the most of this experience
High expectations, for yourself & for them
I have confidence in our collective commitment
Anxiety

82. Photo by Don-Pixel [link]
Partners, Part 1

83. With a Sharpie on a fresh sheet of paper
Partners, Part 1

84. Write down 3 Professional issues
Write LARGE & legibly
This will be SHARED
You have 2 minutes
Partners, Part 1
1) _____________
2) _____________
3) _____________

85. Discuss your sheets, 5 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

86. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
This time we’ll only go once
How might you be more candid?

87. Welcome back!
Photo by Singapore 2010 Youth Olympics [link]

88. Be sure to thank
your partner
Photo by Singapore 2010 Youth Olympics [link]

89. Photo by Sabri Yildiz [link]
Partners, Part 2

90. With a Sharpie on a fresh sheet of paper
Partners, Part 2

91. Write down 3 Personal issues
Write LARGE & legibly
This will be SHARED
You have 2 minutes
Partners, Part 2
1) _____________
2) _____________
3) _____________

92. Discuss your sheets, 5 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

93. Welcome back!
Photo by Eric Chan [link]

94. Be sure to thank
your partner
Photo by Eric Chan [link]

95. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Debrief

96. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings are PDFs or websites
Bulk download all course files (Canvas Tips)
Canvas issues? Contact my Faculty Assistant

97. Course logistics
Any other issues? Contact me
Email/text/phone
8am-6pm

98. Grading
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99. Grading
Attendance
Weekly assignments
Pass/fail with permission

100. Written work
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101. Written work
Weekly assignments (600 words, maximum)
Assignments are late after Tues 9pm
(No comments on late assignments)
Not accepted after Wed 5pm

102. Written work
The content is up to you*
*Look ahead to the upcoming class
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements

103. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timely Submission
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

104. Introductory 1:1s

105. Introductory 1:1s
Optional (No impact on your grade)
April 4, 5, 6, 11, 12

106. For next time…
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107. Change
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108. Change
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Content is up to you but look ahead
All readings are on Canvas
If you drop, email me

109. A final thought…

110. A final thought…
You must never confuse faith that you will
prevail in the end—which you can never afford
to lose—with the discipline to confront the most
brutal facts of your current reality, whatever
they might be.
~Admiral James Stockdale