Communication in the library
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Good communication is key in the library, but how often do we take the time to evaluate whether we’re doing it well? At this session we’ll improve our listening skills and make sure we’re sending the right messages to our audience, whether we’re speaking to a co-worker or patron. We’ll also discuss barriers to clear communication. Enhanced group exercises are included.
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Communication in the library
- 1. COMMUNICATION IN THE LIBRARY Courtney Allison Southeast Regional Coordinator Indiana State Library callison@library.in.gov
- 2. AGENDA • What is good communication? • Listening skills • Sending the right message • Communication barriers
- 3. BY THE END, YOU WILL… • Be able to demonstrate active listening • Have practiced positive phrasing and precise speaking • Be more aware of non-verbal communication • Recognize communication barriers
- 4. WHAT IS COMMUNICATION? • Understanding • Complete • Genuine
- 6. ARE YOU REALLY LISTENING?
- 11. ARE YOU BEING HEARD?
- 12. POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE PHRASING
- 13. SKILLS TEST 3 “You can’t…” “You have to…” “I can’t…” “That’s great, but…” “You can” “Would you please” “I can offer” “That’s great. We might also…”
- 14. SENDING THE RIGHT MESSAGE
- 15. Try it: • Architect • Director • Builder • Observers
- 16. •The Architect is to build something with the Director’s blocks •The Director must then give instructions to the Builder in an attempt to have the Builder create an exact replica of the Director's blocks •Director and Builder have their backs to each other with their own set of building blocks
- 17. DOES THE SIGNAL MATCH THE MESSAGE?
- 19. WRAPPING UP • Understanding • Complete • Genuine • Supportive
- 20. NOW… • How could you change the outcome?
- 21. REFERENCES • Cain, Jim and Mary Scannell. The Big Book of Low-Cost Training Games. McGraw-Hill: New York, 2012. • Cole Miller, Brian. More Quick Team-Building Activities for Busy Managers. America Management Association: New York, 2007. • Klaus, Peggy. The Hard Truth About Soft Skills. Klaus & Associates: New York, 2007. • "Non-verbal Communication." Provider's Guide to Quality & Culture. Management Sciences for Health, n.d. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. • Powell, Melissa. “That’s Not What I Said.” Webinar, available on WebJunction. • Sheldrick, Catherine and Kirsti Nilsen. Communicating Professionally. Neal- Shuman: Chicago, 2013. • Statewide Training and Development Services, HRSD Salem Oregon. “Interpersonal Communication” Workshop.
- 22. IMAGE CREDITS 4. Paul Shanks: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pshanks/ 5. Sharon Mollerus: https://www.flickr.com/photos/clairity 6. AV Dezign: https://www.flickr.com/photos/avdezign 6. Jos van Wunnik: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kristalberg/ 11. Masayuki Takaku: https://www.flickr.com/photos/yukita 12. ArtsyBee: https://pixabay.com/en/users/ArtsyBee-462611/ 14. Gerd Altmann: https://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/ 15. Gerd Altmann: https://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/ 16. oe4yla: https://pixabay.com/en/users/oe4yla-503773/ 17. Gratisography: https://www.pexels.com/u/gratisography/ 18. Unsplash: https://www.pexels.com/u/unsplash/
- 23. CONTACT INFORMATION Courtney Allison Southeast Regional Coordinator Indiana State Library callison@library.in.gov 317.910.5777
Editor's Notes
- Will need sheets of paper and pencils for attendees. Will need at least 2 sets of Duplos or LEGOs for activity. If doing optional activity: will need notecards or scrap paper We’re going to take a quick informal poll. How many of you could get through a day—or even an hour—of work without talking to someone? Getting or sending an email? Raise your hand. (Probably not many) As library workers, we are by default constant communicators. It is an essential part of our job. Since communication is tied to giving good customer service, it’s important to do it well. NOW: Can everyone think of at least one time when YOU misinterpreted an email? Or when someone mistook you because they interpreted your words or expression incorrectly? (Or what if you let an eye roll slip when it shouldn’t have?) Go ahead and write your miscommunication memory down on the paper I gave each of you—we’ll come back to that in a little while. (Don’t worry, we won’t share these) Was there anyone who could NOT think of an example? (Shouldn’t really be) It’s totally normal. BUT, it can be improved! Even the best communicators can use a little practice. So let’s get started.
- Our agenda today is as follows: Communication a. What is good communication b. Listening skills - Active listening c. Sending the right messages d. Communication barriers
- Outcomes: by the end of this session participants will: Be able to demonstrate active listening Have practiced positive phrasing and precise speaking Be more aware of their nonverbal communication and communication barriers Recognize communication barriers
- There are different types of communication – situational, personal, organizational, and professional We are focusing on professional – these are our intra-office communications with each other Leaving the personal and emotional out -REAL communication happens when the receiver's impression matches what the sender intended with the goal of mutual understanding of the message. -Communication is complete when we know the receiver ‘gets’ our message – it requires feedback. -We should consider if our communication is genuine - ASK – Any idea what I mean by that? Beneficial to both parties No agenda Asking yourself – what is the purpose, how will it effect others? Complete, genuine communication takes awareness and practice (which is why we are here today).
- You decide the tone: responses you receive from other people mirror message that other people THINK they are receiving from you Think about emails you have sent that weren’t taken the way you intended them, or emails you have received that did the same. Tone is very difficult to convey via email, so you must be especially careful in your wording. YOU also have the choice about how you will respond--on whether you will take on their tone or emotion, or … Optional Activity: Cut several strips of paper On each strip, write down a mood or disposition (happy, insecure, suspicious, angry) Fold strips and put them in a bowl. These will be prompts Have a few volunteers take a prompt from the bowl and read the same sentence to the class, expressing the mood they’ve picked Volunteers will read the sentence: “We all need to gather our possessions and move to another building as soon as possible!” Have observers guess the emotion (tone) of the reader. What assumptions did you make when listening to the prompts?
- What we hear and how we listen can be impacted by our emotions and also our frame of reference that is built around our culture, gender, age etc. (Ask learners) How can we show people we are really listening to them? (Share any of the below that they don’t come up with.) To really listen, we need to: Not allow emotion impact our ability to receive the message Not assume we know or jump to conclusions, separate your own thoughts from the message Not just waiting for our turn to talk (avoid signaling you want to jump in) Be actively listening – listen with your whole body, face, and eyes Avoid distractions – put away your phone, turn away or turn off your computer monitor Be patient and curious (ask the other person for more information so you can really understand what they are saying)
- Listening Activity: List about 18 related words, pick any topic. Pick one word to be intermingled in the list three times, such as, the 3rd, 7th, and 12th word will be “sleep.” Leave out one obvious word from the list such as “bed.” Ask attendees to listen as you read the list to them. Give them one minute to write as many words as they can remember that you said. Usually 60% will remember the first word, 75% will get the last word on your list, 80% will remember the word that was repeated three times and 20% will write down the obvious word you never said. Debrief why all this happened and what we can learn from this. Ex: Blanket Doze Sleep Mattress Pillow Snore Sleep Dream Nap Rest Bunk Sleep Cot Snooze Slumber Drowsy Drift Couch Optional Activity: Ask questions and allow people to shout out answers SILK (say the letters) spells silk, what do cows drink? (WATER) Mrs. Brown’s bungalow is decorated entirely in pink. The carpet, the curtains, the sofa, the bed covers, the walls. What color are her stairs? (She doesn’t have any – she lives in a bungalow) A farmer has 15 sheep. All but 8 die. How many sheep does the farmer have left? (8 sheep – all but 8 die) If you drive a bus, down to South Whitley up to Fort Wayne and over to Columbia City, what is the driver’s name? (YOUR name, “you drive a bus”) WRAP UP- So how many of you got the answers wrong because you jumped to conclusions?
- Communication is complete when we know the receiver ‘gets’ our message – we typically need to get more info to fully understand the message and that we have received the message that was intended When you need to use feedback (you might also call it follow up) You have any doubt of the meaning of the message You are not sure how to proceed The message is very complex or you are dealing with a really important process or project You are dealing with information that is new to you How to use feedback: Reflect back or summarize what you think you heard to be sure you understood and to show you were listening (give example of angry patron – repeating back what they’re saying to show you’re listening) This allows the speaker to confirm, correct or further explain their message Paraphrase, use their terms (this is really subtle, but using other terms can be seen as a correction and be picked up on by the other person - examples might be subscription patron vs nonresident or program vs. event) Inquire, collect more info to make sure you ‘get’ the message Closed questions for situations that only require instant clarify – should this be thrown away? Open questions allow give the messenger more options, to share more information – could you give me an example of data evaluation? Don’t be afraid of pauses – allow someone time to respond to your request for more information
- You are going to draw a picture and you cannot ask me any questions once I give you the description of what to draw. Draw a circle intersected by a line on top of a square to the left of a diamond. Now take a look at your neighbor’s drawings, do they look like yours?
- Draw a circle intersected by a line on top of a square to the left of a diamond. WRAP UP – your results will be different, it is hard to listen accurately and understand the message without being able to ask questions and clarify
- Since communication is a two-way transaction we are going to move on from thinking about listening to thinking about speaking, or how we are making our messages heard. Once again focusing on professional communication (rather than organizational or personal) Responses you receive from other people mirror the messages they think they are receiving from you what you get is often what you give (aggressive patron makes you feel aggressive? Grateful patron makes you feel happy?) conversations are not debates or contests to win or lose, disengage instead of argue
- The way we use our words creates a positive or negative environment, it’s important to choose them carefully. Negative phrasing like “if you only,” “I’ll try,” “you should,” closes down possibilities Positive phrasing opens up alternatives, “you’ll need to,” “let’s see…,” “would you be willing?” Example: If you only save one dollar a month, you’ll never save up enough money to buy a new car. v.s. You’ll need to save more than a dollar a month if you want to buy a new car this year. Saying please and thank you to your coworkers is a great habit to be in. They are easy to incorporate and do wonders to improve the tone and communication environment.
- ACTIVITY – positive phrasing Shout out suggestions for one or more alternative ways to say these phrases in a more positive way WRAP UP: Was it easy to come up with alternatives? What are some of the other examples you could come up with? Do you feel like it’d be easier to get your point across if you used positive language?
- I’m sure we’ve all heard that it’s not what you say but how you say it? If you are not considering how you are communicating your message chances are it will be misunderstood by the receiver. This also makes their job of being a good listener easier. Some ways to achieve a more precise message: Be clear and specific – give explicit instructions and make expectations clear so the listener can move forward Avoid “around 2:00” (just give a time or a time frame), “I’m not too sure” (wishy-washy - just say you don’t know) The more general your message is, the more likely it is to be misinterpreted or ignored (“that doesn’t pertain to me…”) Don’t assume things, consider the possible gaps in knowledge your receiver might have, be prepared to fill in the gaps Take the time to add in context – giving the how, when, and why takes a bit longer, but will help your listener understand the complexity of the message or project Avoid jargon and abbreviations (we should already be doing this with the public, but remember your department might use special terms that other lib departments don’t encounter every day.) Check for understanding – verify that they have the information they need Consider your method – is email really the appropriate way to communicate your message? Think about how complex the topic is, will the ‘listener’ have questions and need clarification? If you are confused by a reaction to your message ask yourself: What did I say? What did I mean to say? What did they hear?
- ACTIVITY – Giving Instructions/Precise Language (total time 25 minutes) Requires two or more identical sets of building blocks (more if you want less Observers). Groups of four or larger. Four roles are involved: one Architect, one Director and one Builder. Everybody else is the Observer. Put the Director and Builder with their backs to each other, each with their own set of building blocks. The Architect is to build something with the Director’s blocks. The Director must then give instructions to the Builder in an attempt to have the Builder create an exact replica of the Director's blocks. First try: no feedback, only give instructions once. Limit the activity to 5 minutes, then compare the Builder’s construction with the Director’s. Have the group reflect on the exercise take feedback from all five roles. How could we have made communication better? Shift the roles allowing some of the Observers to take other roles. Run the exercise again--make sure the Architect creates a new model--to see how the teams improve. Think about the wording you use to explain the blocks, be more precise. Limit the activity to 5 minutes, then compare the Builder’s construction with the Director’s. Have the group reflect on the exercise take feedback from all five roles. How could we have made communication better? Shift the roles allowing some of the Observers to take other roles. Last time: Since communication should be a two way street, this time allow feedback/follow up. WRAP UP: Ask observers (or anyone!) to share ways in which the teams might have communicated more effectively. Was speech “precise” enough to get the desired results? What adjustments had to be made? Did communication improve each time based on what the team learned or observed in previous attempts?
- ACTIVITY – Giving Instructions/Precise Language (total time 25 minutes) Requires two or more identical sets of building blocks (more if you want less Observers). Groups of four or larger. Four roles are involved: one Architect, one Director and one Builder. Everybody else is the Observer. Put the Director and Builder with their backs to each other, each with their own set of building blocks. The Architect is to build something with the Director’s blocks. The Director must then give instructions to the Builder in an attempt to have the Builder create an exact replica of the Director's blocks. First try: no feedback, only give instructions once. Limit the activity to 5 minutes, then compare the Builder’s construction with the Director’s. Have the group reflect on the exercise take feedback from all five roles. How could we have made communication better? Shift the roles allowing some of the Observers to take other roles. Run the exercise again--make sure the Architect creates a new model--to see how the teams improve. Think about the wording you use to explain the blocks, be more precise. Limit the activity to 5 minutes, then compare the Builder’s construction with the Director’s. Have the group reflect on the exercise take feedback from all five roles. How could we have made communication better? Shift the roles allowing some of the Observers to take other roles. Last time: Since communication should be a two way street, this time allow feedback/follow up. WRAP UP: Ask observers (or anyone!) to share ways in which the teams might have communicated more effectively. Was speech “precise” enough to get the desired results? What adjustments had to be made? Did communication improve each time based on what the team learned or observed in previous attempts?
- Whether you are sending or receiving a message your body language--including tone of voice, facial expression, posture--is saying a lot. As discussed in active listening your body language shows the speaker they have your undivided attention. When speaking it is important that your verbal and nonverbal communication match – if inconsistent listener will get confused and distracted If verbal/nonverbal don’t match we tend to ‘listen’ to nonverbal – people generally feel it is more genuine SHOW examples – fold arms and scowl and say “I’d love to help with that project” or “yeah, I understood you” while looking away disinterested. Your nonverbal communication will also show on the phone – check your posture and your expression. Most likely the listener can pick up on these things. Some body language can also be cultural --- EXAMPLES!!!!!!! Hand and arm gestures don’t mean the same thing everywhere. Be especially careful of the OK and thumbs up gestures, pointing with one finger is often considered rude. Direct eye contact is not always appreciated. In many East Asian countries such as China, keeping your eyes down or avoiding prolonged eye contact is a sign of respect. However, in the US and Latin America, good eye contact shows you are listening and connected with the speaker. Smiling is not always a valued and default greeting. In the US, where we broadcast our emotions fairly freely, smiling is a normal and expected greeting. But in many other countries such as Japan and Switzerland, who do not share their emotions as openly, smiling at strangers is not expected. Smiling does not directly correlate to happiness or friendliness. Do they have any other examples from their own experiences? -Use hand and arm gestures with caution, don’t force eye contact, be careful interpreting facial expressions. Non Verbal Activity: Have two volunteers, person A and Person B. Person A will read their lines out loud, person B will communicate in a non-verbal way Provide B with a secret emotional distraction that is written on a piece if paper (ex: rushed, board, feeling guilty? After the dialogue, ask person A to guess what emotion was affecting person B Dialogue: A: Have you seen my book? I can’t remember where I put it. B: Which one? A: The murder mystery. The one you borrowed. B: Is this it? A: No. It’s the one you borrowed. A: Forget it. I’ll find it myself. B: Wait, I found it!
- Does anyone recall a couple of the communication barriers that could impact listening (making assumptions, only hearing what we want/perceiving selectively)? Ask people to share communication barriers they’ve seen or experienced with coworkers in the library (maybe not co-workers if at a staff day!) The first step in reducing communication barriers with those around us is self awareness. Be aware of topics/situations that cause you to build these barriers. Spend a minute reflecting on things that get in the way of you communicating successfully with people, especially your coworkers (not going to share these, for everyone’s personal use/reflection). There are some general rules of etiquette that we may forget when working behind the scenes that can improve our intra-office culture: It used to be that people would avoid controversial topics in public, such as religion, politics, and money. Now it seems as if any topic is open for debate. Many topics are personal, heated, and affect how work can be done in the workplace. Many people cannot separate personal beliefs from getting the work done (and also to being a barrier to good communication). Plus we may never know what ‘category’ our coworkers belong in or assume we know. While we might assume everyone in a room thinks the same as we do on a topic so we can freely talk about it, that probably is not the case and you could be offending someone and creating barriers. Other topics to be avoided at work -personal issues (dates, sex, child support, etc.) -discussions about a particular employee Others? Examples: culture, getting defensive - feel threatened by other POV, idea etc. Being judgmental – we are not willing to hear the other person’s message, we assume they are wrong, have nothing to offer
- Through our communication we are trying to achieve mutual understanding. Things to include in our efforts toward workplace ethics, professionalism, and genuine communication should be: Beneficial to both parties No agenda Asking yourself – what is the purpose, how will it effect others? To achieve complete communication we need to actively listen to each other and allow for feedback to ensure the message was received as it was intended. We also must look at our own behavior and barriers and be open to the ideas and feedback of our coworkers. Genuine communication is easier when we provide each other with a supportive communication environment where we actively listen to each other, feel comfortable asking questions, and view our problem solving and communication as a responsibility shared by everyone on our team. AN OPTION: Giving Credit activity: ask everyone to recognize something great a coworker has done - not just compliment, show impact of their contribution – by writing anonymous note on an index card. Collect them and give them to director to post in break room after the training.
- Look back at the example you had of a misunderstanding (wrote it down at the beginning of the training). Reflecting on what we discussed, how might you change the outcome of that situation? Anyone want to share? (If not, don’t force! Give own example, or just let them think for a second.) THE END!
- http://erc.msh.org/mainpage.cfm?file=4.6.0.htm&module=provider&language=English