Mis manners
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This document provides an overview of a presentation on business etiquette. It begins by defining the difference between manners and etiquette, with etiquette referring to social codes of conduct. The presentation then discusses why business etiquette is important for building relationships and career success. Specific etiquette rules covered include communication skills, conflict resolution, showing appreciation, and cleanliness. The presentation concludes with a review of etiquette basics like maintaining a positive attitude, respecting others, and being on time.
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Mis manners
- 1. Mis-Manners: You Might be Sabotaging your Career! Presented by Kimberly Brown-Harden Professional Development Office Indiana State Library
- 3. Agenda: • Difference between manners and etiquette • What is etiquette? • What is business etiquette? • Why do we need business etiquette? • Etiquette rules • Q&A with Mis-Manners • Etiquette Review • Discussion
- 4. What you’ll learn… At the end of this webinar You will be able to identify etiquette techniques and how to apply professional etiquette in the workplace.
- 5. Poll Time!
- 6. What is Etiquette? French word which means ‘ticket” “On important occasions, a ticket of instructions was issued to the masses detailing what they should do. The ticket enlists the rules of well-mannered behavior observed in a polite society.”
- 7. Manners vs. Etiquette: Manners • polite behaviors that reflect an attitude of consideration, kindness and respect for others Etiquette • a code of polite conduct based on social acceptance and efficiency
- 8. Business Etiquette: • Involves treating coworkers and employers with respect and courtesy in a way that creates a pleasant work environment for everyone. • is about building relationships with other people.
- 9. What do you think about etiquette?? • Stuffy • Prissy • Social fluff • Uptight • Insincere • Phoniness • Others?
- 10. Business Etiquette: • Is a practical and profitable social skill that plays an important role in career success. • Builds better relationships and increases professionalism. • Employees thrive in a positive environment where all are treated with courtesy and respect.
- 11. Principles of Business Etiquette: • Respect • Courtesy • Collaboration • Non-aggression
- 12. Why Etiquette Matters: • Employees who feel they are mistreated in the workplace are less productive • Can prevent turnover and disruption • Employees may limit contact with peers who are disrespectful
- 13. Factors for unprofessional, rude behaviors: • Increased stress at work • Longer hours at work • Heavy workloads • Pressure to do more with less (time and money) • Customer/patron demands
- 14. Factors for unprofessional, rude behaviors: • Struggles with work/life balance • External triggers • Lack of understanding/sensitivity to diversity in the workplace • Depersonalization of communication • Others?
- 15. Workplace Relationship Skills: Communication: • Be a good listener • Think before you speak • Don’t interrupt • Avoid miscommunication
- 16. Workplace Relationship Skills: Communication: • Aim for face-to-face communications • Be diplomatic • Emphasize the use of courtesy and respect in all communications.
- 17. Workplace Relationship Skills: Conflict Resolution: • Approach conflict as situation-related as opposed to person-related • Be positive and goal oriented • Be clear and specific • Be proactive instead of reactive
- 18. Workplace Relationship Skills: Conflict Resolution: • Be slow to anger • Keep an open mind • Accept feedback • Never criticize a co-worker or employee in front of others • Don’t disagree in public
- 19. Workplace Relationship Skills: Support and Appreciation: • Credit and compliment your team in group projects • Speak well of your co-workers and acknowledge their accomplishments and skills • Never take credit for someone else’s work/efforts • Acknowledge co-workers’ birthdays, promotions, engagements, etc.
- 20. Magic Words:
- 21. With each request-SAY PLEASE With each completion-SAY THANK YOU With each thank you received-SAY YOU’RE WELCOME With each error-APOLOGIZE
- 22. Etiquette Rules for the Workplace: • Stand up when you’re being introduced • Use your full name • Don’t overdo thank-yous • Stay off your phone • Say hello to others in the workplace • Send separate and timely thank-you notes
- 23. Survey Says: • Receiving email from someone sitting three feet away • Listening to voicemail over a speakerphone • Swearing at the computer • Playing music a co-worker doesn’t like • Loud talking • Gossip • Sneezing and coughing in someone’s face/direction • Others?
- 24. Now it’s time to ask Mis-Manners!
- 25. Mis-Manners Says: •If you’re in a cubicle, don’t shout over the walls! You can throw things, but don’t shout!
- 26. Mis-Manners Says: •Set your cell phone to silent or vibrate! No one wants to hear Beyoncé all day! Ugh!
- 27. Mis-Manners Says: •If you play music in your workspace, be sure only you can hear it. Earbuds and headphones are your friend! Again, no one wants to listen to Beyoncé with you…
- 28. Mis-Manners Says: • If you eat your lunch in the staff lounge, clean up your mess! Your mother nor the maid works there! If you do have cleaning staff, be considerate of them! • Don’t eat someone else’s food either! That’s rude! If you put food in a shared refrigerator, put your name or initials on it with the date; remove it at the end of the work week.
- 29. Mis-Manners Says: •If you eat at your desk, avoid eating sardines, onions, pickles, and other food with strong odors that may go through the office. If I see you eat sardines, I’ll take them and eat them in the lunchroom.
- 30. Mis-Manners Says: • Don’t ‘borrow’ items from a co-worker’s desk without permission. Not cool! If you do borrow, with permission, return it in good working condition. Don’t return a stapler with dried food and a staple stuck in it! I will hunt you down!
- 31. Mis-Manners Says: •Be on time! If you do get delayed, contact any person or group waiting for you. Allow extra time if you have to travel. Maybe do like me and call an Uber! No worries, no stress! I suppose that can get expensive though.
- 32. Mis-Manners Says: •Sharing professional information is great! Sharing gossip and overly personal information, not so much. Call me if you want to dish!
- 33. Mis-Manners Says: •Respect personal space. Don’t stand too close or too far away from someone, especially when having a conversation. Respect my personal space-I may punch you-HARD!
- 34. Mis-Manners Says: •The office know-it-all: don’t be one! No one knows EVERYTHING!
- 35. Mis-Manners Says: •Don’t make sexist comments about a co-worker’s dress or appearance. Even if you’re crushing on the hottest guy in the office-don’t tell him he’s hot! I personally get tired of getting lewd/sexist comments all the time. Yes, beauty can be a burden-trust me, I know..
- 36. Mis-Manners Says: •Be discreet and compassionate when criticizing a co-worker. Don’t be a jerk or an idiot. It’s not nice..
- 37. Mis-Manners Says: •So, your Director has spinach stuck in his/her teeth. What would you do? You should tell them discreetly-don’t yell it out across the room.
- 38. Etiquette Basics-Review: • Behavior: • Exhibit a positive attitude and pleasant behavior • Use a firm handshake • Maintain good eye contact • Appropriate introductions • Rise when you are introducing someone or you are being introduced • Be a good listener • Show common respect and consideration for others.
- 39. Etiquette Review: How to succeed at work: • Be willing to help • Mutual respect • Compromise • Be on time • Dress professionally • Respect others’ opinions • Teamwork
- 40. Poll Time!
- 41. Questions/Discussion: Geesh! What else do you need to know?
- 42. Sources: • Business Culture.org (Passport to Trade 2.0-A Bridge to Success). www.businessculture.org. • Business Dictionary. www.businessdictionary.com • Business Etiquette: A WorkLife 4 You Guide. • Business Etiquette Rules for the Workplace. Administrative Professional Today. March 2016. • Business Management Daily. www.businessmanagementdaily.com
- 43. Sources: • Mueller, Nancy. www.nancymueller.com • Office Etiquette MNB_training (slideshare) • Office Etiquette (Office Manners). a-to-z of manners-and- etiquette.com/office-etiquette.html • Today’s Necessity in Business Education: Etiquette Training. San Diego Business Journal. April 12, 2004 • The Free Dictionary. www.thefreedictionary.com
- 44. Thank you! Kimberly Brown-Harden, Northwest Regional Coordinator Kbrown-harden@library.in.gov 317-650-8492
Editor's Notes
- I want you to use your imagination right now. Think about someone who’s a no-holds barred, tell it like it is person. Someone who doesn’t believe in being politically correct-they say what they want. I’d like to introduce you to Mis-Manners. [click] Think about times when co-workers or bosses have done or said things to really irritate or annoy you. Mis Manners will say the things you wish you could say (or what you’re thinking) and do what you wish you could do.. Now, let’s get started….
- We hope this will be a refresher for you and remind you of the importance of etiquette. We will talk about some examples and get perspectives from Mis-Manners! Hopefully none of you are guilty of these.
- Please take a moment to answer the following question. Answers are anonymous and you have a minute or so to answer: Question: How much do you currently know about etiquette: 1. A lot! 2. Average 3. What is etiquette?!
- In a professional sense, this includes behavior towards patrons and colleagues which is in their best interest. (per dictionary.com)
- Manners: You may not have been taught how to make proper introductions, but a kind person knows better than to belittle or embarrass another person in public or private. A well-mannered person also remembers to say “Please” and “Thank you” and doesn’t interrupt others in the middle of a conversation. Etiquette: Just as there are traffic laws to create smooth transportation flow and prevent collisions, so there are societal rules designed to facilitate positive human exchanges and reduce conflict. When you know the rules of etiquette for any given situation, it increases your comfort, confidence and competence, and by extension, the ease and comfort of people around you. For example, once you know the rules of table settings, you won’t have to wonder and worry which bread and butter plate is yours, or which fork to use when in the course of a meal. That keeps the focus of the meal where it should be: on the relationship. Understanding the “why” behind the rules, helps people buy-in and practice the protocols. Consider why a name tag is worn on the right instead of the left, for instance. That’s because it’s easier for others to see when you shake hands. As each person extends the right hand, the line of vision naturally follows past the length of the arm and hand to the placement of the name tag, which is on the person’s right. etiquette provides the form or structure within which good manners operate. Both are essential to effective human interactions. It is important to know what to do when From Nancy Mueller: http://www.nancymueller.com/%E2%80%9Cetiquette%E2%80%9D-vs-%E2%80%9Cmanners%E2%80%9D/.
- http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/business-etiquette.html. 1. So far, this looks like good old fashioned common sense right? Many other foundational or interpersonal skills build upon common sense and respect. 2. Etiquette is not about rules & regulations but is about providing basic social comfort and creating an environment where others feel comfortable and secure, this is possible through better communication. http://businessculture.org/business-culture/business-etiquette/.
- Etiquette is a loaded word. Critics of etiquette consider it insignificant to the bottom line. Manners affect the way you do business, the way you are perceived and in turn, the success of your workplace (library). Etiquette is just like any other game; if you know the rules, you can play successfully. What are some other thoughts or perceptions you have about etiquette?
- Employees who arm themselves with the principles of business etiquette distinguish themselves in the workplace and display a confident professional persona. So, this all sounds vaguely familiar right? There are combinations of respect, courtesy, common sense, and manners in these concepts. Things we were taught as children, but somehow along the way we’ve forgotten them. The ability to successfully relate to, and interact with managers, co-workers and patrons is a key interpersonal skill that’s crucial in today’s workplace/library.
- Your behavior is the foundation where positive relationships are created. These principles should define all your workplace/business relationships: Respect: Means more than singing Aretha Franklin’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Many people understand they need to treat supervisors, managers, and patrons with respect. However, we may not be as mindful of our relationships with peers and people we supervise. Remember that work environments change quickly, You never know who you’ll have to work with or FOR in the future! Best practice is to establish and maintain good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with. Non-aggression: aggressiveness is strong, overpowering, often abusive behavior. It’s rude, crude, and abrasive.
- A lack of respect and value for one another in the workplace has a cost! Employees who are upset about the way they’re treated in the workplace will likely leave. Worst case scenario: that employee may begin to ‘act out’ and cause disturbance in the department/workplace. Remember, no one is perfect. No workplace is perfect. You may display proper etiquette, but the environment can be disruptive. You are responsible for you and YOUR actions. 3. It’s generally best to treat everyone with courtesy and respect, no matter what position he/she holds-from the janitor to the CEO. Let’s take a look at some contributing factors for unprofessional, rude behaviors…
- [click] While, I’d like to say there’s never an excuse for being rude or rude behavior, there are a few factors that can contribute to rude behaviors.
- External triggers: personal issues, health, finances, family, etc. Sensitivity in the workplace: age, gender, culture, workstyles, sexual orientation, physical abilities, perspectives. Know that each person has a story, value. Different doesn’t mean bad, just different. Depersonalization: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/depersonalization. Does anyone know what depersonalization means? To deprive of individual character or a sense of personal identity: a large corporation that depersonalizes its employees. 2. To render impersonal: depersonalize an interview. An example of this is done through the extensive, almost exclusive, use of email. Email, texting and other online forms of communication change the way we talk to (or not) to each other. These factors can decrease business productivity as well as job satisfaction. Now that we know why, let’s talk about building positive workplace relationship skills:
- Be a good listener: Use verbal and non-verbal cues to demonstrate you are focused on what the other person has to say. Think before you speak: consider what you want to communicate and choose your words carefully. Be mindful of HOW you speak-is your voice raised? Are you talking with harsh tones? Profanity? Speak like a professional and you will be treated like one. Avoid miscommunication: clarify by summarizing and repeating back what you heard-not being a parrot, but really trying to get clarity. Ask questions if you don’t understand.
- Face to face communications: try to limit voicemail or email. I know email is sometimes preferable for documentation, but try to limit as much as possible.
- Approach conflict: focus on the problem or behavior-not the person Be Positive: offer solutions and suggestions for fixing the problem Be clear and specific: Don’t say, “Bob, I can’t do anything with this report. Its all wrong. Fix it!” Say instead, Bob, the Q1 data was used but we need Q2 data, can you make that change to the report today?” Be proactive: respond with solutions rather than complaints.
- Slow to anger: especially with insignificant issues. If people think of you as cool headed and rational, it adds weight when you speak. Open mind: listen to the other person’s point of view without interrupting or arguing and strive for a win-win solution. Accept feedback: whether it’s positive or negative; try to accept both with poise and without becoming defensive. It speaks volumes about your professionalism. Disagree in public: if you find yourself in a disagreement with someone, don’t air your differences in public. Find a private location to discuss and find a neutral third party, if necessary.
- Acknowledge: such thoughtfulness leaves a lasting impression to the employee.
- [Click] How many times did our parents, grandparents remind us to say please and thank you? These phrases aren’t just for preschool. These expressions are too often forgotten in the workplace, but what a difference they can make!
- The previous slide was about magic words. I wanted to expand just a little: always say please, thank you, you're welcome, and I’m sorry. It’ may be considered old-fashioned, but it still applies. It’s never offensive, often expected, and easy to do. It’s an attitude. Respect those around you and they will return that respect.
- Here are a few tips from Jacquelyn Smith, guest writer, Business Insider to help get or keep harmony in the workplace. I know our profession is a little more relaxed so all of these may not apply, but we can take and apply some or most of these to have a better workplace experience. Stand up: standing gives the impression you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, it may help the person remember you. Full name: when making introductions, always use your full name. If your name is difficult to pronounce, you could write the pronunciation on your business card. Thank-Yous: Limit the amount of times you say thank you in a conversation to one or two to avoid seeming needy or helpless. Phone: everyone has a phone with them, but that’s no excuse for pulling out your phone in the middle of an introduction, conversation, or meeting. Avoid responding to emails and texts until after the meeting is done. Say hello: by saying hello to others as you walk by, you are giving the impression you are a friendly person who’s easy to talk to. Say good morning when you enter the office. It sets the tone for the day. Likewise, saying good night or have a good evening to the office when you leave for the day is always a nice touch. Thank-you notes: write and send your thank-you notes within 24 hours of meeting with a person. If there are several people involved, make sure the note is personalized. If time is critical, consider sending an email rather than a written note.
- (1-5) These are the top annoying behaviors at the workplace Results from staffing firm, Office Angels. More than a third of office workers say they’ve considered switching jobs to escape the irritation. Loud Talking: More than 30% of people surveyed by Harris Interactive said people talking loudly at work is one of their biggest pet peeves. In the chat box, give me a list of your top 5 annoyances in the workplace. https://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/res/BMD/Free-Reports/BusinessEtiquette101.pdf.
- [click] These are a few things that we asked Mis-Manners to help us with. Feel free to discuss:
- The standard North American comfort zone is 3 feet. Remember that communication zones differ in other cultures; do your research if you’re conducting international business.
- Surveys show that the office know-it-all proved to be the biggest gripe amongst co-workers.
- Introductions- introduce someone by their title and last name (Ms. Mrs. Mr. Dr.), unless otherwise specified. Again, I know some of these do not apply to our profession, but in every profession there’s always room for courtesy, respect, manners, and professionalism.
- Question: name 2 etiquette rules: Answers: Stand up when being introduced Use your full name Don’t overdo thank-yous Stay off your phone Say hello to others in the workplace Send separate and timely thank-you notes.