What do these guys do? Jeff Emmanuel Blood Sucking Vampire
What is a Social Media Guru ?Social Media Guru: A term used to assign imaginary expertise in anascent communications field to an individual with little to no real worldbusiness experience and the professional integrity of a bowl of bananapudding.A social media guru is a delusion wrapped in illusion.A social media guru is a marketing parasite that figured out howto monetize the cluelessness of business owners.
You don’t sell more with...Brand amplification rateApplause rate[insert fantastical metric]
How do you sell more bread?You take bread social obviously...
I stole my boyfriends cheese and picklesandwich. I lied and said that a reallybig seagull swooped down and ate it
I told my mum to explain to my friendon the phone that I wasn’t at home butreally I was eating a bacon sandwich
£11m campaign“The new creatives, not only represent one ofKingsmill’s largest ever investments, they also reflectour understanding of the modern day family.”Michael Harris, Kingsmill marketing controllerLess than 20 videos uploaded in the first 6 months192 confessions on the website
Kingsmill is the most high calorie breadever 50/50 240 per slice! What a joke!Kimberlyhunterx K ♥
The data couldn’t lie...High ranking for brand termsPaying too much for PPC brand termsTraffic was above average for a legacy siteHigh bounce rate on all landing pagesStrong membership baseNo digital brand loyalty
The data shaped the new site...Great content focused on a competitive keyword strategyReduced the PPC burdenDynamic digital platform that is device and user awareIncreased the onsite conversion rateMembership services and applicationsDigital brand activists
Acquire Convert Retain Selling health club memberships37% 11% 65%Page impressions Onsite conversion Repeat Visits
Acquire Convert Retain Selling health club memberships SEO optimised content Personalisation Automated event triggersDynamic, personalised email Dynamic content and journeys Dynamic, personalised email Blogger outreach Keyword specific landing pages Email lifecycle management Sitecore, Web Content Management System (wCMS)