13. What do these guys do?
Jeff Emmanuel Blood
Sucking
Vampire
14. What is a Social Media Guru ?
Social Media Guru: A term used to assign imaginary expertise in a
nascent communications field to an individual with little to no real world
business experience and the professional integrity of a bowl of banana
pudding.
A social media guru is a delusion wrapped in illusion.
A social media guru is a marketing parasite that figured out how
to monetize the cluelessness of business owners.
15. You don’t sell more with...
Brand amplification rate
Applause rate
[insert fantastical metric]
18. How do you sell more bread?
You take bread social obviously...
19.
20. I stole my boyfriends cheese and pickle
sandwich. I lied and said that a really
big seagull swooped down and ate it
21. I told my mum to explain to my friend
on the phone that I wasn’t at home but
really I was eating a bacon sandwich
22. £11m campaign
“The new creatives, not only represent one of
Kingsmill’s largest ever investments, they also reflect
our understanding of the modern day family.”
Michael Harris, Kingsmill marketing controller
Less than 20 videos uploaded in the first 6 months
192 confessions on the website
23. Kingsmill is the most high calorie bread
ever 50/50 240 per slice! What a joke!
Kimberlyhunterx K ♥
43. You said you like my product
I’ll email you about a new product
I’ll know if you check the site
I’ll then try and drive a conversion
If you don’t buy I can email you again
44. I’ll send messages about everything
If you do click I don’t know
I don’t know if you bought it from me
I’ll then send you some more messages
45.
46.
47. Email is not dying
Everyone with a job has
an email address
50. The data couldn’t lie...
High ranking for brand terms
Paying too much for PPC brand terms
Traffic was above average for a legacy site
High bounce rate on all landing pages
Strong membership base
No digital brand loyalty
51. The data shaped the new site...
Great content focused on a competitive keyword strategy
Reduced the PPC burden
Dynamic digital platform that is device and user aware
Increased the onsite conversion rate
Membership services and applications
Digital brand activists
52. Acquire Convert Retain
Selling health club memberships
37% 11% 65%
Page impressions Onsite conversion Repeat Visits
53. Acquire Convert Retain
Selling health club memberships
SEO optimised content Personalisation Automated event triggers
Dynamic, personalised email Dynamic content and journeys Dynamic, personalised email
Blogger outreach Keyword specific landing pages Email lifecycle management
Sitecore, Web Content Management System (wCMS)
