John's Groundbreaking Conflict Resolution Training

1. 1
Supervision and Leadership
Realities, Risks and Rewards
Conflict Resolution
Trainer: John J. Sarno
Employers Association of NJ

2. 2
Conflict Resolution
What this session is about
 Gaining Insight Into Conflict
 Conflict Resolution Styles
 Conflict Resolution Strategies

3. Conflict is part of life
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4. How do you define conflict?
What kind of conflicts
can you identify?
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5. 5
The Challenge
What will it take to transform
destructive conflict
into
constructive conflict
at home,
at work,
in the community
& in the world?

6. What Will It Take?
 Open Door
 Good Communications
 Clear Expectations
 Taking Responsibility
 Caring
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7. Escalation of Conflict
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Destructive Violence
Power Struggle
Overt Conflict
Latent Tensions

8. Why Conflict Escalates
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Destructive Violence
Power Struggle
Overt Conflict
Latent Tensions
Frustrated needs
Poor skills
Weak relationships

9. The Hanwan Shipping Case
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10. Hanwan Shipping (continued)
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11. Why Conflict Escalates
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Destructive Violence
Power Struggle
Overt Conflict
Latent Tensions
Conflicting interests
Disputed rights
Unequal power
Injured relationships

12. Hanwan Shipping
(The Incident)
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13. Why Conflict Escalates
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Destructive Violence
Power Struggle
Overt Conflict
Latent Tensions
No attention
No limitation
No protection

14. Catching Conflict Before
It Escalates
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Contain
Resolve
Prevent
Power
Struggle
Overt
Conflict
Latent
Tensions
Destructive Violence

15. 15
Prevent
Sources of Tension
Frustrated Needs
Poor Skills
Weak Relationships
Ways to Prevent
Clear Expectations
Feedback/Fairness
Open Communications

16. 16
Resolve
Sources of Conflict
Conflicting Interests
Disputed Rights
Unequal Power
Injured Relationships
Ways to Resolve
Listening
Empathy
Strategy

17. Why is conflict so
difficult to resolve?
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 Stress
 Emotion
 Provocative Political and Cultural Signals
 Fatigue
 Apathy
 Irrationality

18. There Are Several Approaches
to Resolving Conflict
1. Accommodation – “I lose, you win”
2. Avoidance – “We both lose”
3. Competition – “I win, you lose”
4. Compromise – “We both win or we both lose
5. Collaboration – “I win, you win”
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19. Most people have a
dominate style
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What is yours?

20. Supervisors Must Be Able
to Resolve Conflicts
What Approach Should You Take?
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21. How important is the relationship?
How important is the outcome?
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22. 5
4 Accommodate
3 I Lose, You
Win
2 1 Avoid
I Lose, You
Lose
1 2 3 4 5 Collaborate
I Win, You Win
Compromise
We Both Win,
We Both Lose
Compete
I Win, You
Lose
Low Medium High
Importance of outcome
Importance of relationship
Low Medium High
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23. Let’s See How It Works
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24. 24
Best and Worst
Case Styles

25. Acknowledge Emotions
Paraphrasing is more than repeating.
Listener must incorporate attitudes and emotion.
55% of a speakers attitudes and feelings is
communicated nonverbally.
Only 7% of feelings are articulated verbally.
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26. Summarizing What the
Speaker Says
Summarizing helps to make
sure what was said. It also
helps the speaker because it
gives them the opportunity to
hear what was said
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Feelings
Facts

27. Use Neutral Language
 Statement: “You are so stupid! I hate
it when you don’t listen to me!”
 Summary: “You are upset because
you believe I’m not listening to you.”
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28. Some Tips on Handling
Difficult Employees
Separate the behavior from the person.
You can care about someone even if you
disapprove of his or her conduct.
Remember that people usually rationalize
their behavior no matter how bad it is. (“I
was only following orders.”) Do not
challenge, provoke or threaten.
Stay calm. Don’t antagonize or make
matters worse.
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29. 29
Successful conflict resolution
assumes the parties to the conflict
are acting rationally
BBuutt…………....
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30. A piece of mail promoting bank loans
was sent to 70,000 customers. *
Interest rates were almost the least important factor
in whether people took the offer.
Factors that were considered:
 Whether brochure featured an attractive woman
 Whether a lottery ticket was offered
 Whether the offer had a deadline
*Harvard Magazine, March 2006 Study, Behavioral
Economics
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31. Two-thirds of subjects said they would be happier at a
company where they earned $33,000 while their
colleagues earned $30,000, than a company where
they earned $35,000, while their colleagues earned
$38,000.
56% of participants chose a hypothetical job paying
$50,000 per year while everyone else earned $25,000,
rather than a job paying $100,000 per year others
made $200,000.
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32. POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Describe inappropriate behavior
Explain negative impact on the workplace
Discuss changes needed
Outline consequences if behavior not
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corrected
Document / follow-up

33. The purpose of discipline is
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to correct
NOT to punish

34. Why is discipline viewed
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as punishment?

35. Punishment breeds resentment,
resistance and litigation
An ethical foundation supports
discipline and discharge, when
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necessary

36. Unethical Discipline
(Abuse of Power)
o Power Struggles
o Difficulty in Setting Goals
o Inability to Prioritize
o Lack of Motivation
o Fear, Anxiety and Confusion
o Lack of Empowerment or Feelings of Victimization
o Pessimism
o Conflict
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37. Cross-cultural studies show that
even if people personally disagree
with a result, they will accept it if
they perceive the process as “fair”.
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38. Fair Discipline
Verbal Counseling
Written Warning
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39. • Be careful of bias and inconsistent
treatment
• Expectations must be clearly
communicated
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40. Questions?
Thank You
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