The document discusses the psychological concept of transference, where unconscious emotions and responses from past relationships get transferred to current relationships. It explains that without awareness, people often repeat familiar patterns of relating from childhood when dealing with power figures as adults. Recognizing transference provides insight into ourselves and others in relationships. The document suggests avoiding power struggles by forming cooperative relationships instead of competitive ones focused on asserting power over others.

2. WITHOUT BEING AWARE OF IT we may transfer to another
person emotions & responses we once had towards someone
else – this process is appropriately called “Transference”…

3. The our unconscious mind serves a useful purpose (freeing
the conscious mind for other tasks) but it also creates problems
in our relationship through …

7. Eventually we
figure out the
best ways to
deal with those
big people who
had all the
power…
FIGHT
FREEZE
FLIGHT

8. When we face
power as
adults, we tend
to use those
ways of
relating that
worked before
The awareness of
TRANSFERENCE
provides a key to
understanding both
ourselves and
others in almost
every relationship

9. When our parents refused to „give into us‟
(when they‟ve reached their limit) then …

10. “Surprisingly, people who have had parents who were
“easy” on them may sometimes be attracted to those who
are demanding -- Because such persons seem to provide
structure that was missing in childhood.”
“The
person with an over-demanding parent may be
attracted to a person who seems “spontaneous” and less
rigid.”
Most commonly without realizing it, we
repeat the familiar patterns of childhood
L. Crabb (2003). Soul Talk, p. 124.

11. Power struggles come
about especially when
each person has transference
to the other, and uses
seemingly “logical”
(but childish) manoeuvres
in a power situation…

12. SO HOW DO WE AVOID THE “POWER
STRUGGLES” THAT TRANSFERENCE
SEEMS TO PROVOKE?
Is it possible to act differently in a more
proactive way (creatively) to side-step the
„conflictual‟ stance…

13. Instead of power
struggles…. in which
each person tries to
“be somebody” at a
cost to the other — we
form a

14. We choose to move
away from the power
struggle…. and
towards a creative
relationship, where we:

15. PERSONAL EXAMPLE from last time….

16. NEXT TIME: