This document summarizes a discussion between a social worker and parents of toddlers about minimizing tantrums. The social worker addressed the parents' goals of increasing good days and minimizing tantrums. She discussed what is normal toddler behavior, such as being messy, curious, and having limited attention spans. The social worker provided strategies for parents to set limits, offer choices, and ignore bad behaviors that are not unsafe. She emphasized making routines, using positive directions, and remaining calm during tantrums. The meeting concluded with practicing challenging situations and encouraging parents to try one new strategy each day.

1. CLC, 3/8/16, Early Head Start
Deb Weiner, LICSW

2. Goals for today:
• Talking about “normal”
• Increasing good days
• Minimizing tantrums
• Dealing well with tantrums

3. Parents’ Goals:
What one thing would you like to
learn or try at home with your
toddler?

4. You have a short-term goal to increase
peace and compliance in your household.
You have a long-term goal of developing a
healthy, happy, well-behaved child…
At times, these are in conflict!

5. Expectations…
What is normal for
toddlers?

6. What questions do you have about
whether or not something is
“normal” with your child?

7. • Saying
• Messy=Fun!
• “Mine”= Toddlers’ Rules
• Curiosity=Into Everything
• Slow: to eat, dress, clean up
• Fast: restless, limited attention span
• Tantrums!

9. Allowing Feelings While Managing
Behaviors and Maintaining Boundaries

10. What works for you to minimize
or deal with tantrums?

11. • Make Routines; Give Warnings
• Set Limits: Clear and Simple
• Offer (Limited) Choices
• “Catch” Your Child Being Good
• Ignore “Bad” Behavior (unless
unsafe)
What Can You Do?

12. What Can You Do? Part 2
• Tell your child what she CAN do
• Model behavior you want to see
• Talk to your child at eye level
• Use simple, positive directions
• Use “matter of fact” tone
• Have a countdown to choice of
you do it or mom/dad will
• Don’t try to reason during tantrum
• Remain calm, consistent
• Avoid overtiredness, “hangry”

13. Setting up Environment for Success
• Regular routines; meet basic needs first!
• Schedule positive activities that your
child can do and enjoys!
• Appropriate activities
• Appropriate supervision

14. Types of Tantrums:
• Frustration
• Exhaustion
• Temper

15. 3 Predictable Phases of Tantrums
1. Yell/Scream
2. Throw (Self or objects or both)
3. Cry/Whine
Wait until Phase 3 to actively intervene,
except for safety

16. Video Clip – To See the 3 Phases…

17. Let’s Practice
A challenging situation we can
brainstorm, discuss or try role-
playing?

18. • What one thing will you try to set up your
home for success?
• What one thing will you do to handle the
next tantrum that does occur?
• Write down on index card and post where
you can see it!
• Ask for help.

19. Thanks for your
attention!
Remember to practice
your “one thing” a few
minutes each day!
Deb Weiner, LICSW
deb.weiner@email.edcc.edu