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RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS
Evaluating and Identifying Healthy
Relationships
Some Examples ofSome Examples of
Relationships:Relationships:
 Friendship
 Parent-child
 Boss-worker
 Boyfriend-girlfriend
 Sibling
 Acquaintance
 Roommate
What Relationships ProvideWhat Relationships Provide
Emotional needs
Social satisfactions
Basic needs like shelter and food
EVALUATINGEVALUATING
 How does your relationship affect your life?
 In school
 At work
 My physical health
 My emotional health
 My use of drugs or alcohol
 My family and friends
 My ability to function independently
In SchoolIn School
How does this person encourage me?
Have my grades improved or fallen?
Have I missed school because of this
person?
Have I limited my extracurricular activities
so I can spend time with this person?
At WorkAt Work
 Have I ever missed
work because of this
person?
 Has this person ever
come to my place of
work to check up on
me or embarrass me?
 Does this person give
me any support in my
career?
My Physical HealthMy Physical Health
 Have I had any physical injuries due to a fight
with this individual?
 Have I gained or lost weight?
 Have I contracted any sexually transmitted
diseases from this person?
 Have I become physically upset because of
confrontation with this individual?
 Have I been coerced into having sex?
 Have I had any unplanned pregnancy from this
relationship?
My Emotional HealthMy Emotional Health
 Do I feel better or
worse about myself
since entering this
relationship?
 Am I more stressed,
anxious, depressed?
 Do I have trouble
sleeping?
Use of Drugs & AlcoholUse of Drugs & Alcohol
 Have I increased my use
of alcohol, drugs, smoking
in this relationship?
 Has this person pressured
me into using?
 Do I drink or use to feel
more comfortable around
this person/friends?
My Family and FriendshipsMy Family and Friendships
 How do my family and friends feel about this
person?
 How does this person feel about them?
 Have I grown apart from family and friends since
forming this relationship?
 Does this person ever act jealous of my
family/friends?
 Do I lie to my family and friends to cover up for
this person?
 Do we spend time separately with others we
know?
Ability to FunctionAbility to Function
IndependentlyIndependently
Do I have control over my own money?
Have I become dependent on this person for
my living arrangements?
Do I feel that I just couldn’t make it on my
own without this person?
A Balancing ActA Balancing Act
Healthy
relationships
maintain a
balance between
the individuals
involved in the
relationship.
A Balancing ActA Balancing Act
me you
us
A Balancing ActA Balancing Act
If the relationship is all about ME, then I am
focusing on getting my needs met and
expect you to make my needs your priority
as well—and your needs suffer.
me
you
A Balancing ActA Balancing Act
If the relationship is all about YOU, then I
am focusing on getting your needs met at
the expense of my own.
you
me
A Balancing ActA Balancing Act
If the relationship is about US, then we are
both focused on the relationship that we
lose our individuality.
us
A Balancing ActA Balancing Act
In a healthy relationship, YOU, ME and US
are in balance most of the time.
However, sometimes YOU or ME may
need more attention…and that’s ok.
usme you
Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships
 How healthy is your
relationship?
 The next few slides
contain questions that
may help you
determine the health of
your relationships.
Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships
1. Can you name 2-4 things about this
person you really like?
2. Can your name 2-4 things about this
person you really dislike?
3. Can you name 3 things this person is
interested in besides you?
4. Can you name 3 activities you can be
involved in without this person?
Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships
5. Do you both have equal decision-making
power in the relationship?
6. How do you handle conflicts?
7. Do you think this person’s relationships
with family/friends are healthy?
8. Since forming this relationship, do you
generally feel worse, better, or the same
about yourself?
Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships
 If you’re confused
about your
relationship and where
it’s going and what it’s
doing for you, please
get help from the
appropriate counseling
services.

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Relationships

  • 2. Some Examples ofSome Examples of Relationships:Relationships:  Friendship  Parent-child  Boss-worker  Boyfriend-girlfriend  Sibling  Acquaintance  Roommate
  • 3. What Relationships ProvideWhat Relationships Provide Emotional needs Social satisfactions Basic needs like shelter and food
  • 4. EVALUATINGEVALUATING  How does your relationship affect your life?  In school  At work  My physical health  My emotional health  My use of drugs or alcohol  My family and friends  My ability to function independently
  • 5. In SchoolIn School How does this person encourage me? Have my grades improved or fallen? Have I missed school because of this person? Have I limited my extracurricular activities so I can spend time with this person?
  • 6. At WorkAt Work  Have I ever missed work because of this person?  Has this person ever come to my place of work to check up on me or embarrass me?  Does this person give me any support in my career?
  • 7. My Physical HealthMy Physical Health  Have I had any physical injuries due to a fight with this individual?  Have I gained or lost weight?  Have I contracted any sexually transmitted diseases from this person?  Have I become physically upset because of confrontation with this individual?  Have I been coerced into having sex?  Have I had any unplanned pregnancy from this relationship?
  • 8. My Emotional HealthMy Emotional Health  Do I feel better or worse about myself since entering this relationship?  Am I more stressed, anxious, depressed?  Do I have trouble sleeping?
  • 9. Use of Drugs & AlcoholUse of Drugs & Alcohol  Have I increased my use of alcohol, drugs, smoking in this relationship?  Has this person pressured me into using?  Do I drink or use to feel more comfortable around this person/friends?
  • 10. My Family and FriendshipsMy Family and Friendships  How do my family and friends feel about this person?  How does this person feel about them?  Have I grown apart from family and friends since forming this relationship?  Does this person ever act jealous of my family/friends?  Do I lie to my family and friends to cover up for this person?  Do we spend time separately with others we know?
  • 11. Ability to FunctionAbility to Function IndependentlyIndependently Do I have control over my own money? Have I become dependent on this person for my living arrangements? Do I feel that I just couldn’t make it on my own without this person?
  • 12. A Balancing ActA Balancing Act Healthy relationships maintain a balance between the individuals involved in the relationship.
  • 13. A Balancing ActA Balancing Act me you us
  • 14. A Balancing ActA Balancing Act If the relationship is all about ME, then I am focusing on getting my needs met and expect you to make my needs your priority as well—and your needs suffer. me you
  • 15. A Balancing ActA Balancing Act If the relationship is all about YOU, then I am focusing on getting your needs met at the expense of my own. you me
  • 16. A Balancing ActA Balancing Act If the relationship is about US, then we are both focused on the relationship that we lose our individuality. us
  • 17. A Balancing ActA Balancing Act In a healthy relationship, YOU, ME and US are in balance most of the time. However, sometimes YOU or ME may need more attention…and that’s ok. usme you
  • 18. Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships  How healthy is your relationship?  The next few slides contain questions that may help you determine the health of your relationships.
  • 19. Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships 1. Can you name 2-4 things about this person you really like? 2. Can your name 2-4 things about this person you really dislike? 3. Can you name 3 things this person is interested in besides you? 4. Can you name 3 activities you can be involved in without this person?
  • 20. Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships 5. Do you both have equal decision-making power in the relationship? 6. How do you handle conflicts? 7. Do you think this person’s relationships with family/friends are healthy? 8. Since forming this relationship, do you generally feel worse, better, or the same about yourself?
  • 21. Healthy RelationshipsHealthy Relationships  If you’re confused about your relationship and where it’s going and what it’s doing for you, please get help from the appropriate counseling services.