This document provides guidance on revising sentences to improve clarity and impact. It discusses identifying and refining padded and empty sentences. Additionally, it offers tips for fixing stringy and overloaded sentences by varying structure, rearranging phrases, and incorporating questions, exclamations, and commands. The document concludes by providing examples and practice exercises for applying these revising techniques.
Kinds of modals
Examples of modals
Sentences using modals
definition of modals
How modals can be used in a sentence
Usage of modals
I could read even without eyeglasses.
This sentence expresses a weaker ability of reading without eyeglasses.
What is a dictionary?
A dictionary is a reference book about words and as such it describes the functioning of individual words (sometimes called lexical items). It does so by listing these words in alphabetical order in the form of headwords, the words listed as entries in the dictionary.
Kinds of modals
Examples of modals
Sentences using modals
definition of modals
How modals can be used in a sentence
Usage of modals
I could read even without eyeglasses.
This sentence expresses a weaker ability of reading without eyeglasses.
What is a dictionary?
A dictionary is a reference book about words and as such it describes the functioning of individual words (sometimes called lexical items). It does so by listing these words in alphabetical order in the form of headwords, the words listed as entries in the dictionary.
Version 2: This presentation provides basic definitions and explanation of rhetorical modes, patterns of paragraph development, or, as I like to call them, writing strategies.
How to learn transitive and intransitive verbShining Student
transitive and intransitive verb is essential to make a correct sentence. without the knowledge of these two verbs, the learners cannot make a correct sentence. This slide describe it in nice way to make reader understand easily.
Version 2: This presentation provides basic definitions and explanation of rhetorical modes, patterns of paragraph development, or, as I like to call them, writing strategies.
How to learn transitive and intransitive verbShining Student
transitive and intransitive verb is essential to make a correct sentence. without the knowledge of these two verbs, the learners cannot make a correct sentence. This slide describe it in nice way to make reader understand easily.
The Paragraph and Topic Sentence is a PowerPoint presentation that details out what a paragraph is. Moreover, this PP will focus more on one essential part of a paragraph, which is the topic sentence -- its function and its position in the paragraph. A good paragraph must contain a good topic sentence. I hope this presentation will help you guys. Thanks :)
This show helps teachers to call their students' attention in the classroom. Before starting your lessons, think well how you call your students' attention to you and your ideas. Think, Rethink to think more and more creative ideas of teaching.
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I Know What I Want To Say, But I Don’t Know .docxsheronlewthwaite
I Know
What I Want
To Say,
But I Don’t
Know How
To Say It __
Seventh Edition
By David Dominguez, English Instructor
With special contributions by instructors from Reedley College: Eileen Apperson,
Emily Berg, David Borofka, Deborah Borofka, Vanessa Buldo, Linda Cooley,
Nicole Cooper, Rick Garza, Carey Karle, Deborah Lapp, Ryan LaSalle, Lori
Levine, Deborah Lyons, Rebecca Snyder, Elaine Stamper, and Kate Watts. Special
thanks also to all my former and current embedded tutors, especially Laura Hand.
2
For by some innate power the true sublime uplifts our souls; we are filled with a
proud exaltation and a sense of vaunting joy, just as though we ourselves produced
what we had heard.
—Longinus, On the Sublime
But the torero bitten by duende gives us a lesson in Pythagorean music and makes
us forget he is always tossing his heart over the bull’s horns.
—Federico Garcia Lorca, “Play and Theory of the Duende”
This book is dedicated to the Students of Reedley College.
3
CHAPTER ONE: Sentence Structure
I. Writing Complete Sentences 7
II. Avoiding Incomplete Sentences 7
III. Understanding Run-On Sentences: the Comma Splice and the Sentence Fuse 8
IV. Correcting Comma Splices and Sentence Fuses 9
V. Mastering the Four Sentence Types 9
VI. Avoiding Wordy, Confusing, and Vague Syntax 11
CHAPTER TWO: Punctuation Marks
I. How to Use the Apostrophe 13
II. How to Use the Colon 14
III. How to Use the Comma 15
IV. How Not to Use the Comma 18
V. How to Use the Dash 18
VI. How to Use the Ellipsis Mark 19
VII. How to Use Quotation Marks 20
VIII. How Not to Use Quotation Marks 20
IX. How to Use the Semicolon 21
CHAPTER THREE: Grammar
I. Adjectives and Adverbs 23
II. Prepositions 24
III. Pronouns 27
IV. Verb Errors 31
CHAPTER FOUR: Mechanics
I. Capitalization 39
II. Hyphens 40
III. Italics and Underlining 40
IV. Numbers 41
V. Titles of Works 42
CHAPTER FIVE: Maintaining an Academic Voice
I. Avoid Clichés 44
II. Avoid Slang 44
III. Avoid Social Media Jargon 45
IV. Avoid Confusing Shifts in Points of View 46
V. Proper Academic Voice 47
4
CHAPTER SIX: The Research Process and Avoiding Plagiarism
I. Sources 49
II. Evaluate Your Sources 49
III. Reedley College Database 49
IV. Staying Organized 49
V. Plagiarism 50
CHAPTER SEVEN: MLA Guidelines
I. How to Format an Essay According to the MLA Guidelines 52
II. How to Summarize and Paraphrase—an Introduction 53
III. How to Summarize 53
IV. How to Paraphrase 54
V. How to Summarize and Paraphrase—Final Thoughts 54
VI. How to Use Signal Phrases and Parenthetical Citations with the Author Named in a Signal Phrase Method for In-text
Citations 55
VII. How to Format Short and Long Quotations of Prose and Poetry 59
VIII. How to use the MLA Author Named in a Signal Phrase to Cite Direct Quotations—the Basics 61
IX. How to Write a Works Cited ...
4. Refining Padded Sentences
Sometimes padded sentences have
long phrases that can be replaced
with shorter ones.
At other times, padded
sentences bore your
reader by needlessly
repeating an idea.
5. Refining Padded Sentences
PADDED SENTENCES
STUDENT MODEL
DRAFT
I was upset because of the fact that my Repeats an idea
Repeats an idea
friend wouldn’t ride the roller coasters
with me. The reason is he is of the Long phrase
Long phrase
opinion that roller coasters look like
they could be full of danger.
6. Refining Padded Sentences
PADDED SENTENCES
STUDENT MODEL STUDENT MODEL
DRAFT REVISION
I was upset because of I was upset because
the fact that my friend my friend wouldn’t ride
wouldn’t ride the roller the roller coasters with
coasters with me. The me. He thinks they
reason is he is of the look dangerous.
opinion that roller
coasters look like they
could be full of danger.
7. Refining Padded Sentences
Here’s How Refining Padded Sentences
• Think about what you really want to say.
• Look for words and phrases that could
be deleted and never missed.
• Look for places where one or two words
could replace many words.
8. Improving Empty Sentences
Some sentences say nothing or repeat an
idea that has already been stated.
I like bike riding because it is
fun and enjoyable.
IDEA IS REPEATED
9. Improving Empty Sentences
Other sentences make statements that are
not supported by facts.
They are my favorite bikes because
they are the best ones.
NOT A FACT
10. Improving Empty Sentences
Here’s How Filling Empty Sentences
• Eliminate words and phrases that needlessly
repeat an idea.
• Don’t leave your reader asking, “Why?”
Add reasons, examples, and facts to
support your opinions.
11. Practice and Apply
Add a reason or fact to the following
sentence.
1. Train travel is better than car travel.
12. Practice and Apply
Eliminate unnecessary words from
the following sentences.
2. The dining car, where most of the
passengers eat, offers many different
meals and a variety of food.
13. Revising Sentences
Stringy and Overloaded Sentences
Fixing Stringy Sentences
Fixing Overloaded Sentences
Practice and Apply
14. Fixing Stringy Sentences
Both stringy and overloaded sentences
confuse the reader by forcing too many
ideas into one sentence.
Often, the reader can’t tell how the
ideas in the sentence are related.
15. Fixing Stringy Sentences
A stringy sentence contains
too many ideas loosely
connected by the word and.
Stringy sentences seem
to go on and on.
16. Fixing Stringy Sentences
To fix stringy sentences, make each
complete thought a separate sentence.
Write the sentences in a logical order.
17. Fixing Stringy Sentences
You can use conjunctions such as
since, while, when, until, after that,
and because to show the relationship
between ideas.
18. Fixing Stringy Sentences
STRINGY SENTENCE
STUDENT MODEL
DRAFT
My class visited Washington, D.C., and we
went to the National Air and Space Museum,
and we saw the Wright 1903 Flyer, which
was the first successful airplane, and we
saw Viking 1, the first spacecraft to operate
on the surface of Mars. . .
19. Fixing Stringy Sentences
STRINGY SENTENCES
STUDENT MODEL STUDENT MODEL
DRAFT REVISION
My class visited Washington, When my class visited
D.C., and we went to the Washington, D.C., we
National Air and Space went to the National Air
Museum, and we saw the and Space Museum. First,
Wright 1903 Flyer, which we saw the Wright 1903
was the first successful Flyer, which was the first
airplane, and we saw Viking successful airplane. After
1, the first spacecraft that, we saw Viking 1, the
to operate on the surface first spacecraft to operate
of Mars. . . on the surface of Mars. . .
20. Fixing Overloaded Sentences
An overloaded sentence contains too
much information about a single topic.
You may know what
you need to say, but
your reader won’t
understand you.
21. Fixing Overloaded Sentences
OVERLOADED SENTENCE
STUDENT MODEL
DRAFT
Even though most people think that
pterodactyls, flying reptiles that lived Too many
Too many
more than 65 million years ago in details
details
Europe and East Africa, were huge
animals, not all of them were, and
some of them were about the same
size as a sparrow.
22. Fixing Overloaded Sentences
STUDENT MODEL STUDENT MODEL
DRAFT REVISION
Even though most people Pterodactyls were flying
think that pterodactyls, reptiles that lived more
flying reptiles that lived than 65 million years ago
more than 65 million in Europe and East Africa.
years ago in Europe and Most people think that
East Africa, were huge pterodactyls were huge
animals, not all of them animals, but not all of them
were, and some of them were. Some pterodactyls
were about the same size were about the same size
as a sparrow. as a sparrow.
23. Fixing Overloaded Sentences
Here’s How Revising Stringy and Overloaded Sentences
• Break down your sentences into separate ideas.
• Combine related ideas, using conjunctions such as and,
but, or, so, then, and when.
• Rewrite your sentences as two or more sentences, making
sure that you have not packed too many ideas into any
one sentence.
24. Practice and Apply
Rewrite this stringy sentence.
3. My grandmother’s dog is very helpful
and he will carry the newspaper from her
to my grandfather if she tells him to but
sometimes he wants to play instead.
26. Rearranging Phrases
Try rearranging the phrases in your
sentence for more impact.
Words that give the most
important information often
have the greatest effect at the
start or end of a sentence.
28. Rearranging Phrases
Fifteen of Minerva’s friends spilled out her
front door as she opened it, wishing her a
happy birthday.
29. Rearranging Phrases
Wishing her a happy birthday, fifteen of
of Minerva’s friends spilled out her front
door as she opened it.
30. Rearranging Phrases
There are no precise rules about the
“most important” words in a sentence.
You can put interesting
details up front to grab
your reader’s attention
or at the end to go out
with a bang.
31. Varying Sentence Type
You can make your writing livelier by
including questions, exclamations,
and commands.
32. Varying Sentence Type
VARYING SENTENCE TYPES
PROFESSIONAL MODEL
What can kids do about pollution in their neighborhoods?
Students at Bellamy Middle School in Chicopee, Question
Question
Massachusetts, found out. Chicopee had a problem
storing sludge from factories and sewers. In winter the
sludge froze before it could be taken to landfills. Some
Bellamy students toured the sludge plant to see the Exclamation
Exclamation
problem for themselves—and smell it, too! The town
used the students’ idea of building a greenhouse. . . .
Look around your community for environmental Command
Command
problems you can help solve.
33. Varying Sentence Type
Don’t overuse exclamations. Too many
can make your writing seem breathless
or overexcited.
34. Practice and Apply
Rewrite the following sentence two
ways by rearranging its phrases.
4. The librarian heard a snicker in the
middle aisle near the books by Mark
Twain.
35. Practice and Apply
Add some variety to the letter below.
Rewrite at least three sentences as
questions, exclamations, or commands.
5. You may be interested in time travel or in life on
other planets. If you read science fiction, you can
explore these ideas. Science fiction writers often
combine scientific information and imaginary
characters to create a story. If science fiction appeals
to you, it’s a good idea to try a story by Isaac
Asimov, Anne McCaffrey, or another science
fiction writer.