Porifera, also known as sponges, are considered the oldest of animal phyla. As a sponge, it can filter its entire body weight of water in under a minute using a system of pores and canals, and lives wherever there is water. Sponges are multicellular but lack tissues, and reproduce both sexually and asexually. It seeks a soulmate who enjoys slowing down to appreciate life.

1. Porifera Hello, I am a Porifera, that means "pore bearer" in Latin, but my friends sometimes call me Sponge. We are considered the oldest of the animal phyla. Like many of my family members I can filter my entire body weight in water in less than one minute. I am able to do this using a special system of canals and pores on my multicellular skin. Water movement is driven by the beating of flagellae on some of my specialized cells. I am a nurturing being and am good with children and other species. I sometimes even provide refuge and protection to other sea critters.

2. You’ll Be In My Heart I am not a picky organism, I can live wherever there is water. My beating flagella help water flow through my pores, supplying me with food oxygen, and a method of waste removal. Food items are taken into individual cells by phagocytosis, and digestion occurs within individual cells. I can regulate the amount of flow through my bodies by the constricting various openings. The volume of water passing through my body can be enormous, up to 20,000 times its volume in a single 24 hour period. In general, I feed by filtering bacteria from the water that passes through me. Some sponges trap roughly 90 percent of all bacteria in the water they filter. I am all about going green and keeping the ocean clean.

3. All You Need Is Love I enjoy organism watching and just generally relaxing in the ocean. I am also known for spontaneously hitching a ride on a crab or other organism and traveling the world.

4. Jai Ho! My relatives and I can proudly boast that we are the first multicellular organisms. This is reflected in the fact that we are multicellular but they do not have any tissues, but hey I am not complaining, a lack of tissues never stopped me from having a good time. I contain toxic substances to discourage predators, so if you are using this match-making website to stalk me - BEWARE. The chemicals warn my competition and other organisms, that I will always have a space in the marine ecosystem.

5. I Will Follow You Into the Dark My body is a loose assemblage of about six different types of specialized cells that secrete a supporting skeleton of collagen fibers and mineral spicules (glass or calcium carbonate) and carry out the processes of growth, repair, nourishment, and reproduction. I am the next Hercules, I can protect you against even the worst predators including mollusks. I burry into their skin and create a hole for myself and my girlfriends to sink into for protection. Though I myself am an omnivore who only eats bacteria and whatever floats by me, I can introduce anyone who is interested to my brother the carnivorous exception. Don’t worry he won’t bite, well usually.

6. Looking for my Uptown Girl I am looking for a girl who is okay with a slob, since I eat, poop, and breathe with every pore in my beautiful body. I am available to any single women out there who are looking for a casual fling, but I am willing to wait a lifetime for my soul mate in the meantime I can reproduce asexually. I need someone who enjoys stopping and smelling the roses and enjoying the scenery of life; I am a slow mover and can only travel at the high speed of 4mm a day.