This document discusses parenting styles and temperaments based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality assessment. It describes the four dimensions of personality assessed by Myers-Briggs - how people get their energy (Extraversion vs Introversion), how they take in information (Sensing vs Intuition), how they make decisions (Thinking vs Feeling), and how they approach the outer world (Judging vs Perceiving). It then discusses four temperament styles - Artisans, Guardians, Idealists, and Rationalists - and provides tips for parenting children with each temperament style.

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Parenting With Style
Mara J. Briere
Debbie Weinstock-Savoy

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 In this series, we invite you to pick up
some new tools for effectively relating
with your loved one.
 You will learn a language to
communicate more effectively with
others.
 Anyone familiar with the Myers-Briggs
Personality Indicator?
What’s Your Style?

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A Unique Window on
Parenting Style
 Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is the World's
most widely used personality inventory for 40+
years
 Used in career counseling, management,
education,marital counseling, etc.
 Developed in 1940's by mother-daughter team,
Kathryn Briggs & Isabel Myers
 Based on theories of psychologist Carl Jung
 Identifies preferences in how we experience &
interact with the world (from birth, like right- and
left-handedness)

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Parenting Style
 Family Situation
 Child Personality and Temperament
 Parent Personality and Temperament

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Parenting Factors to Ponder
Parent Style: Unique and Develops over time
Parenting with our style: More confident
More effective
Appreciate each style: Each style helps
children grow. We develop "less preferred"
abilities as we mature
Our Upbringing

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Other factors to ponder:
Interaction between parent & child styles: What
pushes your buttons?
Which of child's needs can you meet directly?
Which needs can you meet indirectly, through
experience with other people & situations?

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The Four Dimensions: Keys to the
Language
What energizes you?
Extraversion: Focus on the outer world
Introversion: Focus on inner life
How do you prefer to gather information?
Sensing: Emphasize tangible
Intuiting: Emphasize potential
How do you prefer to make decisions?
Thinking: Idea-centered values
Feeling: Person-centered values
What’s your preferred life-style orientation?
Judging: Prefer structure
Perceiving: Go with the flow

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What’s Your Style?
Where do you prefer to get your energy
& focus your attention?
I……………….…….*……….…………….E
Introvert Extravert
focus on inner world focus on outer world

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Energy Flow
Extravert (E) Introvert (I)
% of
Population
50% 50%
Character-
istics
 Active; think “out loud”
 Outward
 Breadth of interest
 Sociable
 Expressive
 Many
 People
 Live it, then understand it
 Reflective
 Inward
 Depth of interest
 Reserved
 Quiet
 Few
 Privacy
 Understand it, then live it
Extraverts focus energy outward
Introverts focus energy inward

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Introverts prefer
 think before speaking
 wait & watch before getting involved
 thoughtful, private, reserved
 concentrate on 1 person/activity at a time
 prefer depth: life's specialists
 energized by introspection
Child: Reflective, introspective. Enjoys time alone,
1-to-1.
Adult gifts: Encourage autonomy and engage the inner
life.

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Extraverts prefer
 Think out loud
 Jump into new activities
 Expressive, open, enthusiastic
 Like variety:" the more the merrier“
 Prefer breadth:
 Life's generalists
 Energized by interaction
Child: Engaging, sociable. Thinks "out loud," enjoys
activity.
Adult gifts: Help child with people and activities

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What’s Your Style?
Which perceiving process do you prefer?
S……………….…..….*……..……….………….N
Sensor Intuitive
Physical senses See patterns
Here & now Make connections
Details “Big picture"

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Sensor (S) Intuitive (N)
% of Population ~75% ~25%
Characteristics  Details
 Present tense
 Practical
 Perspiration
 Actual
 Down-to-earth
 Sequential; one step at
a time
 Fact
 Enjoyment
 Conserve
 Patterns
 Future tense
 Imaginative
 Inspiration
 Possible
 Head-in-clouds
 Random
 Innovation
 Anticipation
 Change
Sensing individuals
take in information
with their 5 senses
Intuitives evaluate
information from an
overall “6th” sense
Perceiving Process of Gathering Information

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Sensors prefer
 Realistic & practical
 Notice details & remember facts
 See what is & the present
 Trust past experience: prefer the familiar
 Like examples & models to follow
 Want clear, step-by-step directions
 Work at a steady pace
 Accept things as they are
 Prefer realistic toys & real-life activities
 Enjoy games with established rules
Child: Hands-on, literal. Works one step at a time.
Adult gifts: Attend to physical care & teach common sense.

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Intuitives prefer
 Imaginative & creative
 Notice anything new or different
 See possibilities & the future
 Trust creativity: prefer novelty
 Like new ways of solving problems
 Make assumptions based on hunches
 Work with bursts of energy
 Interested in how things could be
 Prefer open-ended activities & toys
 Enjoy make-believe play
Child: Dreamy, enthusiastic. Works in bursts of creative
energy.
Adult gifts: Encourage imagination & innovation.

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What’s Your Style?
Which judgment process do you
prefer?
T……………….…….*…………….……….F
Thinker Feeler
Objective Subjective
Logical People-centered

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Judgment Process of Decision Making
Judgment
Process
Thinkers (T) Feelers (F)
Gender Bias M 60% F 40% M 40% F 60%
Characteristics  Objective
 Principles
 Justice
 Head
 Cool
 Impersonal
 Critique
 Analyze
 Precise
 Subjective
 Values
 Harmony
 Heart
 Caring
 Personal
 Appreciate
 Empathize
 Persuasive
All humans use both
judgment processes,
thinking and feeling,
when making
decisions. Thinkers
give more credence to
logic & facts, and
feelers give more
credence to subjective
values & relationships.

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Thinkers prefer
 Most convinced by logic
 Objective & analytical
 Want justice & fairness
 Speak directly, honestly, clearly
 Praise independence & achievements
 Place high value on competence
 Hold self & others to consistent standards
Child: Curious, independent-minded. Objective
standards.
Adult gifts: Fair, calm, & reasonable.

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Feelers prefer
 Most convinced by that which is seen as best for
people
 Sensitive & empathic
 Want harmony & affection
 Speak warmly, tactfully, diplomatically
 Praise cooperation & personal contributions
 Place high value on relationships
 Consider extenuating circumstances, exceptions to the
rule
Child: Empathic, emotional. Cares what others think
& feel.
Adult gifts: Sympathetic, nurturing harmony &
connection.

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What’s Your Style?
How do you prefer to approach the world
around you?
J………………..*………….……….P
Judgers Perceivers
Planning Spontaneous
Control Responsive
Structure Adaptable

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Orientation to Outer World
Judgers (J) Perceivers (P)
Values judgment Values perception
% of Population 55% 45%
Characteristics  Organized
 Structure
 Control
 Decisive
 Deliberate
 Closure
 Plan
 Deadlines
 Productive
 Flexible
 Flow
 Experience
 Curious
 Spontaneous
 Openness
 Wait
 Discoveries
 Receptive
Judgers are NO
MORE judgmental
than Perceivers!
Stop judging that it’s
BAD to be a
JUDGER.

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Judger preference
 Prefer order & structure
 Value closure: make decisions quickly, easily
 Find comfort in rules
 Like to make a plan & implement it
 Decisive:
 State opinions frankly
 Finishing projects is important
 Productive & responsible
Child: Reliable & responsible. Prefers the familiar &
likes order.
Adult gifts: Provide security & stability.

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Perceiver preference
 Prefer to "go with the flow“
 Make decisions quickly, easily
 Value new info: postpone decisions
 Find rules & plans limiting
 Like to adapt & respond to changes
 Curious: ask lots of questions
 Trying new projects is important
 Playful & impulsive
Child: Playful & adaptable. Prefers novelty & free
time.
Adult gifts: Nurture joy & flexibility

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What is the difference between,
“type,” and “temperament?”
 Type refers to mental patterns, or
cognitive processes as determined
through the Myers Briggs Type
Indicator®, a valid and reliable
instrument developed by Isabel Briggs
Myers and Katherine Myers to take Carl
Jung’s theory of type and give it practical
application.
 Temperament refers to behavioral
patterns.

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How does temperament influence
our families?”
Understanding the different temperaments
enables us to identify and meet the
needs of our families more effectively.

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Artisans, Improvisers SP

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Artisans, Improvisers, SP, prefer
 Fun-loving
 physical movement and activity
 Hands-on and direct experiences
 Test limits
 VERY impulsive
 VERY literal
 Rules are guidelines, not absolutes
 Easily bored
 Strong need for control over Self
Child: Experimental; daring; playful; “what you see is what you get!”
Parent Gifts: “One day at a time” style of parenting; encourage child’s experiments;
Play first, work later!

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Guardians, Stabilizers, SJ

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 Conscientious, responsible
 Thrive on routine; routines provide security
 Need approval
 Cautious and wary of change
 Follow rules
 Clearly defined roles
 “Good little boys and girls”
Child: Like to know what is expected and to do it; sober; appreciate
rules, roles.
Parent Gifts: Create stability through real world follow through; attends
to details; Practical; Expect respect and obedience from children
Guardians, Stabilizers, SJ prefer…

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Idealists, Catalysts, NF

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Idealists, Catalysts, NF prefer
 Imaginative
 BIG Picture thinkers
 Original
 Emotionally supportive
 Daily details exhaust
 Empathic
 Playful
Child: Playful, passionate, non-conforming; seek harmony; people
people.
Parent Gifts: Relaxed family relationships; supportive;
understanding.

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Rationalists, Theorists, NT

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Rationalists, Theorists, NT, prefer…
 Self-contained
 Autonomous
 Prize cognitive development
 Trust in reason, deliberation
 Efficient
 Sees the BIG picture
 NEED to know the “why” and the “how”.
Child: Curious; inventive; imaginative; experiment with ideas,
strategies.
Parent Gifts: Non-directive re children’s development; Provides
opportunities for children to “stretch themselves” according to child’s
interests

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Artisans, Improvisers, SP

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Strengths
 Energy level
 Joie-de-vivre
 Zest of life, excitement, drive
 Happy-go-lucky
 Expressive
 Physical grace, athletic
 Always seem to know “where” they are
 Explorers
 Physically affectionate
 Capacity to improvise

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Challenges
 Seems as though they don’t hear verbal limits
 Button pushers
 Draining due to high energy level
 Needs more supervision due to safety issues
 Very physical, hands-on
 “Tallest” piece of equipment attracts
 Impulsive
 Rough
 Routines don’t work
 Dislikes structure

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Hands-On Strategies
 Child-proofing
 Learning from child
 Avoid words; understand that these kids learn through touch
 CHOICES! Share control!
 More activity, less language; clear and short instructions
 Humor
 Say “no” by saying “yes” to something else
 Rhyming and songs
 Physical gestures,
 Physical activities
 Unstructured time
 Make tasks into games
 Advocating with schools; Vocational/alternative programs
 Enlisting other people
 Encourage messy projects

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Guardians, Stabilizers, SJ

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Strengths
 Team player
 Task oriented
 Follow directions
 Thrive in structure
 Real helper
 Remember details
 Do well in school (in early years)
 Organized
 Dependable, predictable
 Manage time well
 Conscientious

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Challenges
 Do not deal well with unstructured time
 Very literal
 Not as creative; follows models
 Conformists
 Too helpful – could get into trouble
 What if there aren’t rules?
 Sense of humor?
 Change
 Adaptability

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Hands-On Strategies
 Role playing & practice
 Give leadership opportunities
 Concrete recognition ex. Stickers
 Advance preparations & “warnings” help
 Ask for their help
 Break things down
 A step at a time
 Describe situations in concrete terms

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Idealists, Catalysts, NF

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Strengths
 Imaginative
 Creative
 Visual
 Connected
 Concerned
 Thoughtful
 Good at entertaining themselves
 Empathetic
 Think outside the box
 Capacity to brainstorm

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Challenges
 Standardized tests
 Back to the real world
 Practice
 Needs to be motivated - - how?
 Implementation
 How things/people could be
 Dramatic, intense
 VERY sensitive
 Tend to AVOID confrontation
 Frustration

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Hands-On Strategies
 Open-ended projects
 Sit with them until they are comfortable
 Like company
 Pull back
 Stop-start
 “Pretend”
 Make a story
 Consequences for actions and their impact
upon others
 Relationship language
 Choices

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Rationalists, Theorists, NT

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Strengths
 Independent
 Not impulsive
 Prone to dismiss “peer pressure”
 Innovative
 Observant
 Makes connections
 Leaders
 Diverse interests
 Language ability
 Explorers
 Curious
 Persistent

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Challenges
 Group activities
 Independence
 No sense of personal limits
 Won’t ask for help
 Easily frustrated
 Keeping them occupied with age appropriate activities
 Stubborn
 Impatient with people who are not as quick-minded
 Accidentally hurt other people’s feelings

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Hands-On Strategies
 Open-ended toys
 Lots of adult/older child interaction
 Reasonable explanations
 Giving leeway, choices, independent opportunities
 Padded schedule/flex time
 Picking your fights
 Engage problem-solving skills

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Note your observations!
 Taking a long look at how your children
play and learn, develop an ongoing
conversation to ascertain who they are
and why they do what they do.
 Behavior masks motivation.

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Note your observations!
 Teach your children this language.
 Advocate.
 Enjoy!

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Resources
 Baron, Renee, What Type Am I? ©1998,
Penguin Books, NY; The Four
Temperaments, ©2004, St. Martins Griffin
 Berens, Linda V. Understanding
Yourself & Others: an Introduction to
Temperament 3.0, ©2006, Telos, Pubs.
 Keirsey,David,Please Understand Me II,
©1998,PrometheusNemesis Books Co.
 Kroeger, Otto, & Janet M. Thuesen, Type
Talk: The Sixteen Personality Types that
Determine How We Live, Love, and
Work, @1988, Bantam Doubleday Dell, NY

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Resources
 Montgomery, Stephen, Ph.D., People Patterns: A Modern Guide
to the Four Temperaments, ©2002, Archer Publications
 Myers, Isabel Briggs with Peter B. Myers, Gifts Differing, ©1995,
Davies-Black Publishing, Palo Alto California
 Penley, Janet and Diane W. Stephens, The M.O.M.S
Handbook, Second Edition©1998, by Penley and Associates,
Inc.; MotherStyles – Using Personality Type to Discover Your
Parenting Strengths, ©2006, LifeLong Books
 Stoop, Dr. David, Understanding Your Child’s Personality,
©1998, Tyndale House Pubs. Inc.
 Tieger, Paul D., and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Just Your Type,
©2000, Little, Brown, & Co., Boston; The Art of Speedreading
People, @1999, Little, Brown, & Co., Boston; Nurture by
Nature, @1997, Little, Brown & Co., Boston.
 www.momsconnection.com www.typecan.com
www.16types.com www.keirsey.com