Here is a draft parent letter: Dear [Parent's Name], My name is [Your Name] and I am excited to be partnered with your child, [Child's Name], through the [Program Name] mentoring program. A little bit about me - I am a [occupation] and enjoy [hobbies]. I have always loved working with youth and am passionate about helping kids reach their full potential. My goal in mentoring [Child's Name] is to provide a supportive friend, role model and encourager. I hope we can explore [Child's Name's] interests through activities like [activities]. Most of all, I want [Child's Name] to know they have someone believing in them

1. Welcome to
Mentor Training!
Sponsored by:
1

2. Developmental
40 Assets
This Mentor Training was inspired by the Search Institute’s
40 Developmental Assets which, when developed in kids,
are proven to help kids and families succeed.
By working together as a community to instil these assets,
we help our youth shine by igniting their “Sparks”!

3. Our Goal is to Increase the Assets
in our Community’s Youth
so their Sparks can Shine!
Developmental assets are concrete, common sense,
positive experiences and qualities essential
to raising successful young people.
3

4. There are 2 Groups
of Development Assets:
1) Internal Assets
2) External Assets
4

5. External Assets
These 20 assets are the positive experiences that kids receive from the world around them.
The Four Categories of External Assets are:
1)Support: Young people need to be surrounded by people who love, appreciate,
and accept them.
2) Empowerment: Young people need to feel valued and valuable.
This happens when youth feel safe and respected.
3) Boundaries and Expectations: Young people need clear rules, consistent consequences,
and encouragement to do their best.
4) Constructive Use of Time: Young people need opportunities outside of school to enjoy
themselves, develop new skills, and build positive relationships with others.
http://www.search-institute.org/system/files/H1.What+are+Dev+Assets.pdf

6. Category: Support
1. Family Support: Family life provides high levels of love and support.
2. Positive Family Communication: Family members communicate positively,
and kids are willing to seek advice and counsel from parents.
3. Other Adult Relationships: Support received from at least three non-parent adults.
4. Caring neighborhood: Experiencing caring neighbors.
5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment.
6. Parent involvement in schooling: Actively parent involvement in helping kids
succeed in school.

7. Category: Empowerment
7. Community values youth: Young people perceive that adults in the community value youth.
8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community.
9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community at least one hour per week.
10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, school, and in the neighborhood.

8. Category: Boundaries & Expectations
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences;
monitors young person’s whereabouts.
12. School Boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences.
13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young
people’s behavior.
14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.
15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.
16. High expectations: Parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

9. Category: Constructive Use of Time
17. Creative activities: Young person spends at least three hours per week in
lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.
18. Youth programs: Young person spends at least three hours per week in
sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community.
19. Religious community: Young person spends at least one hour per week in
activities in a religious institution.
20. Time at home: Time with friends “with nothing special to do” is limited
to two or fewer nights per week.

10. Internal Assets
These 20 assets form the “internal compass” that help young people make thoughtful and
positive choices in life situations that challenge their inner strength and confidence.
The Four Categories of Internal Assets are:
1)Commitment to Learning: Young people need a sense of the lasting importance
of learning and a belief in their own abilities.
2) Positive Values: Young people need to develop strong guiding values or principles
to help them make healthy life choices.
3)Social Competencies: Young people need skills to be able to interact effectively
with others and cope with new situations.
4)Positive Identity: Young people need a sense of their self-worth, power, purpose,
and promise.
http://www.search-institute.org/system/files/H1.What+are+Dev+Assets.pdf

11. Category: Commitment to Learning
21. Achievement Motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school.
22. School Engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning.
23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of
homework every school day.
24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school.
25. Reading for Pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure at least
three hours per week.

12. Category: Positive Values
26. Caring: Placing high value on helping other people.
27. Equality and social justice: Placing high value on promoting equality
and reducing hunger and poverty.
28. Integrity: Acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs.
29. Honesty: Telling the truth, even when it is not easy.
30. Responsibility: Taking personal responsibility to make “wrong” right.
31. Restraint: Believing it is important not to be sexually active or to use
alcohol or other drugs.

13. Category: Social Competencies
32. Planning and decision making: Knowing how to plan ahead and make choices.
33. Interpersonal Competence: Having empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.
34. Cultural Competence: Being sensitive and comfortable with people of
different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds.
35. Resistance skills: Resists negative peer pressure and dangerous situations.
36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

14. Category: Positive Identity
37. Personal power: Feeling he or she has control over “things that happen to me.”
38. Self-esteem: Reports having a high self-esteem.
39. Sense of purpose: Feeling that “my life has a purpose.”
40. Positive view of personal future: Being optimistic about her or his personal future.

16. How many assets
did you have
as a youth?
∗ Take a minute to think about the assets
you felt you had while growing up.
∗ What is the total? Write it down!

17. WHAT IS AN
ASSET BUILDER?
An asset builder is someone
who does good things FOR and
WITH youth---on purpose.
EVERYONE can be an asset builder!
17

18. What is a Spark?
Sparks are special qualities, skills, & interests that
we are passionate about and that light us up.
They come from inside of us, & when we express
them, it gives us joy and energy.
They are our very essence, the things about us that
are “good and beautiful, & useful to the world.”
18

19. Current Events
Fishing
Reading
Photography
Bugeling
Tennis Writing Stories
Examples of Sparks
Playing Piano
Fixing Things
Song-Writing
Growing Boardgames
Things Golfing
Snorkeling Skateboarding
Cowboying 19 Bowling

20. “Sparks” Help Strengthen
Emotional Health in Youth
Emotionally Healthy Children:
∗ Are better learners
∗ Are less likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors
∗ Have fewer behavior problems
∗ Feel better about themselves
∗ Are better able to resist peer pressure
∗ Are less violent and more empathetic
∗ Are better at resolving conflict
∗ Have more friends
∗ Are better able to delay gratification
∗ Are happier, healthier, and more “successful”
Sean Brotherson, Ph.D., Extension Family Specialist, NDSU “EQ & RQ: Helping Children Learn Emotional and Relationship Intelligence”

21. Search Institute’s Research
∗ In 2007, the Search Institute released data on the 40
assets from nearly 100,000 youth in 213 communities.
∗ Here is what they found:
21 http://www.search-institute.org/about/history

22. The Proof is in
the Pudding:
MORE assets = LESS high risk behaviors
MORE assets = MORE positive attitudes & behaviors
22

23. Results from Sparks Research
When youth know their spark and have several
adults who support their spark, they are more
likely to:
∗ Have a sense of purpose
∗ Be socially competent and physically healthy
∗ Volunteer to help others
∗ Have higher grades in school and better attendance
23

24. Youth who know their spark and have several
adults who support their spark are less likely to:
∗ Experience depression
∗ Engage in acts of violence toward others
24

25. More assets =
49% less high-risk behavior
39%
35%
31%
27%
18% 19% 0–10 Assets
14% 11–20 Assets
11% 21–30 Assets
9% 31–40 Assets
6%
3% 4% 3%
1% 1%
Alcohol Tobacco Illicit Drug Driving and
Use Use Use Alcohol

26. Teens Generally Named
3 types of Sparks:
∗ 1. Something they are good at;
A talent or skill
∗ 2. Something they care deeply about;
Such as the environment or serving their community
∗ 3. A quality they know is special;
Caring for others or being a friend
26

27. Sparks Most Cited
∗ Athletics
∗ Creative arts
∗ Nature, ecology, the environment
∗ Learning a subject matter like science or history
∗ Helping, serving, volunteering
∗ Leading
∗ Spirituality or religion
∗ Reading
∗ Committed to living in a specific way (with joy,
passion, caring, etc.)
∗ Animal welfare
27

28. How Many Teenagers
Reported Sparks?
31%
Say They Do NOT Have a Spark
69% Say They HAVE a Spark
28

29. The Challenge for Caring Adults in
Every Community across U.S.A.
Percentage of teenagers
who understand and seek 100%
spark
Percentage who can
62%
clearly name their spark
Percentage with spark
37%
and spark champions
29

30. How About Our Kids?
The F-M Survey
In 2007 the Search Institute assisted with a
Fargo-Moorhead-West Fargo Youth Asset Survey
17,000 Students
from Fargo, Moorhead, West Fargo
were surveyed.
30

31. ? ?
What Did Kids Say?
∗ Our Asset Goal is 40
∗ 31 assets, on average, is considered Ideal...
∗ Our Youth (grades 6-12) Reported an Average of
? just 19.1 total assets ?
What's Going On?

32. Focus on the Positive
• 70% Reported Family Support (#1)
• 72% Reported Positive Peer Influence (#15)
• 65% are involved in a supportive religious community (#19)
• 74% Hold a Positive View of Personal Future (#40)

33. Which is Great, but…
Only:
• 27% Said family was involved in schooling. (#6)
• 25% Said their community values youth. (#7)
• 20% Said they engage in creative activity. (#17)
• 29% Said they have adult role models. (#14)

34. How can we
help this?
Drum roll…

35. By Mentoring!!

36. Here’s what a parent survey says
about the significance of mentoring:
∗ 47% said their child’s grades improved.
∗ 55% said their child got along better with family members
∗ 70% said their child got along better with friends.
∗ 83% saw improvements in their child’s self-esteem.
∗ 53% said their child had fewer behavior problems since
the beginning of the mentorship.
∗ 60% said their child became more responsible

38. Ok, so what exactly is
a Mentor? A Mentor is:
 A wise and trusted friend and guide.
 Passionately interested in another person’s life.
 Always willing to give a word of encouragement.
 A caring responsible adult who helps someone explore people,
places, and things they’ve never experienced before.
 A positive role model.
 SOMEONE WHO CARES!

39. Take a Minute to Reflect:
Who Was a Mentor to You?
∗ Why does that person stand out to you?
∗ How did you feel about yourself when you were with your mentor?
∗ What things did that person do or say that helped you to feel that way?
∗ What kind of mentor would that person say you are, or will be?
∗ How does reflecting on this help you understand about what it means
to be a positive role model and mentor?

40. The Critical Role of Mentors
All young people should have an adult who:
1. Sees their spark
2. Affirms that spark
3. Helps them explore their spark
Mentors help kids ignite their sparks!
40

41. A MENTOR CHAMPION:
Likes children! Is a Good Listener!
Is Caring! Can Provide Leadership!
Is Stable! Is Reliable- Shows Up On Time!
Is Committed! Is Discreet- Keeps Information Confidential!
Is Nonjudgmental! Has a Good Sense of Humor!
Is Patient! Is Tolerant!
Does not attempt to replace parent or guardian!
SOURCE: DR. SUSAN G. WEINBERGER, PRESIDENT. MENTOR CONSULTING GROUP INC

42. Are YOU Ready?

43.  I am a People Person. I enjoy working with others.
 I am a good listener.
 I respect others. I am Sensitive.
 I can share- and I want to share who I am, what I know.
 I love Cake! (the band?) (the dessert?)
 I find service rewarding
 I look for potential, not problems…
 …but I can support without smothering, parenting,
or otherwise wearing the bossy boots.
 I can walk, talk, and chew gum simultaneously…
 …and I can focus and be still.
 I am patient and attentive.
 I am flexible, and when I commit, I make things work.
 I’m Ready. That’s Me!
43

44. So Now,
Buckle Up Your Training Belt,
Because Here We Go!

45. Being a Mentor is an important responsibility. All mentors go through a very
thorough screening process so that all mentees will be in safe company.
Interview and Application
Three References
Background Checks & Drivers Record
 Contract Signed Confirming Parameters of the Commitment
All Mentors Complete a Two-Hour Training Session (right now!)
Amachi Staff Supports Mentors throughout the Relationship
Mentors Participate in On-Going Training at Least 4 Times per Year
45

46. IF YOU SUSPECT CHILD ABUSE OR
NEGLECT AT ANY TIME YOU MUST
CONTACT RSVP+ ASAP!
Do not hesitate.
Just call- it’s the law!
46

47. Setting Boundaries
Having the support of a mentee’s family is very important.
It is also very important to establish boundaries that will
protect the mentor/mentee relationship as it builds.
Take the “Boundary Setting Tips” Agreement out of your
folder. Read through, and ask if you have any questions.

48. Key Things to Remember:
 Your Relationship is Between You and Your Mentee
 It is Not your Role to Discipline your Mentee or to Provide Basic Needs
 Relationships with other Family Members Compete with Your Mentee
 Always Be Friendly and Polite
 Keep Conversations with Family Members to Very General “Chit-Chat”
 Listen without Judgment
 Do Not Become Involved in Family Issues
 Honor your Mentee’s Right to Privacy
 Crossed Boundaries can Hurt Your Trusting Relationship with your Mentee

49. It is important to establish a parental relationship.
Having parents in the loop means that you can set
boundaries and expectations, and speed up the
“getting to know you” process with your mentees.
49

50. Include the following in a letter
to your mentee’s parents:
 Tell them a little about yourself!
 Your name and contact information
 Why you joined the mentor program
 Your interests and hobbies
 Your experience with youth
 Include an invitation to keep in touch

51.  Tell them about your hopes for the relationship with your mentee!
What experiences do you hope to share?
What are you looking forward to
about spending time with their child?
 In what ways do you hope to make an
impact?
 What do you hope to learn?

52. 1) Establish a Trusting Relationship
2) Enhance Life Skills
3) Goal-setting Guidance
4) Enhance Social Competence
52

53. Task #1: Build a Trusting Relationship
The Phases of a Relationship
53

54. Beginning Phase Part 1
The “Testing the Waters” phase
 You want to fix everything, you want instant rapport,
and you are trying to bridge some differences.
 Be consistent and reliable.
 Show that you can listen.
 Focus on doing things with rather than for your mentee.
 Be non-judgmental.
 Be honest about what you can and cannot do.
*It’s ok to say that your program has set limits on you, too.

55. Beginning Phase Part 2
 It can be overwhelming when your mentee opens up to you.
 Be patient. Expect ups and downs.
 Realize that this takes time and adjustment for both of you.
 BUT it will and can happen.
 Set appropriate limits on your interaction times.
 Be involved, but keep perspective.
 Realize that your mentee is capable.

56. Your mentee is quiet…
now what?
 Think of conversations starters beforehand.
 Get to know each other better by making lists of favorites.
 Use resources available at http://rsvp.ndsu.nodak.edu/amachi.html
 Play a game! Cards, board games, or even Tic Tac Toe!
* Until you know each other better, keep games light-
hearted by focusing on having fun and learning together.

57. Good Communication Skills:
 Be considerate and respectful. Always!
 Do not preach or lecture, ask questions instead.
 Do not yell. Ever.
 Actions speak louder than words.
 Be as realistic as possible.
 Be clear and specific.
 Recognize that it is all right for two people
to view the same things differently.
 Define what is important and ignore what is not.
 Know when to use humor- a little goes a long way!
 Listen, listen, listen!

58.  Communication is founded on RESPECT
• Both as listener
• And as speaker
 Active, respectful listening requires:
• Readiness
• Attention
• Energy
58

59. “I” Statements
• Be responsible for your own thoughts and feelings
• Project this with your speech-
• Tell what you feel
• Explain why, without criticism
• Describe your needs and your ideas
Metro Youth Partnership 59

60. 3Ls The Three Ls
#1 Listening
 Be in the moment and pay attention
 Eliminate distractions
 Keep an open mind
 Encourage the speaker to continue
 Let the mentee finish what they are saying
 Listen for feelings underneath words

61. 3Ls The Three Ls
#2 Looking
 Make eye contact and stay relaxed
 Show that you are listening
 with body language and verbal cues
 Check if you are understanding the speaker
• Paraphrase what is being said
• This is important in building trust and respect

62. 3Ls The Three Ls
#3 Leveling
 Speak with honesty and kindness together to build trust
 Speak for yourself; Use “I” statements
 Respect their feelings without trying to change them
 Only give advice if asked
 Give advice by asking introspective questions
 Deal with feelings
 Work together to find solutions

63. The “Staying Power” Phase
Your mentee may test you with inappropriate requests or
actions just to see what kind of staying power you have.
Don’t take it personally.
Reinforce your limits that you two have agreed upon.
Be there; keep an open mind and be available.
Reaffirm your commitment to the relationship.

64. The Increasing Independence Phase
This is the, “Growing Up, Moving On” phase. Your mentee has become
less dependent on you and is finding other sources of support.
Be proud to help her move on!
Talk about the shifts you are seeing;
Reinforce the good things you have seen.
Continue to be supportive and encouraging!

65. Words of Wisdom:
A mentor is “Different than a step- father or mother.”,
“You’re not raising kids… you’re not there to change them.”
“We’re talking COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE. You’re a confidant.
Not an authority.. they’ve got people telling them what to
do all the time. It’s okay to not be bossing them around.”
65

66. Task #2: Enhance Life Skills
Teach and model skills to help young people carry their
baggage better.
“It is important for children to understand that their FEELINGS are
not the problem, but their MISBEHAVIOR
may be.” -(Ginott) Young people need multiple champions; some to
cheer, some to teach

67. Task #3: Goal-setting Guidance
 Focus on what is STRONG, now what is wrong!
 Remember: Fertilizer is more powerful than weed killer!
 Sparks change over time: Keep current as your mentee evolves!
 A skill is not automatically a spark.
 Pay attention to what mentees would like for themselves,
* not just what you think they might need.

68. The Seven Essential Questions
As you get to know your mentee, find the answers to these questions:
1. What are your mentee’s sparks?
2. When and where do they show their sparks?
3. Who else knows of their sparks?
4. Who else helps to support their spark?
5. How can they use their spark to make our world better?
6. What gets in the way of the mentee’s sparks?
7. How can I help them to shine?
68

69. To Foster “Sparks”:
BE CONSISTENT! TELL THE TRUTH!
∗ Builds trust ∗ Be honest
∗ Shows reliability ∗ Excuses and fabrications
destroy trust
TAKE ACTION!
∗ Follow through with your words BE DEPENDANT!
and promises. ∗ Need time one on one
∗ Actions speak louder than words and face to face
∗ Be on time!

70. Spark Champions Mentors:
 Affirm sparks!
 Model their sparks!
 Encourage expression!
 Provide opportunities for expression!
 Run interference and help eliminate obstacles!
 Show up to recitals, games, performances, plays,
reading, & contests!!!
70

71. Talking with a Child About Sparks
∗ Watch for signs of sparks -
“You really seem to enjoy…”
∗ Share your own sparks -
“When I was your age, I was
passionate about…”
∗ Ask open-ended questions, and then listen –
“What do you think your spark is?”
71

72. Task #4: Enhance Social Competence
 Youth learn from watching adults; be a good model in your own social situations.
 Provide Positive Social Opportunities
 Encourage positive interactions between friends my modeling how to share,
 asking for favors, saying “please” and “thank you”.
 Model how to enter a social situation by making introductions,
 and joining into activities with others.
 Social skills need to be practiced in places where there is little stress or conflict;
 Make sure the environment is conductive to learning.

73. Embracing Diversity
You and your mentee may come from
different backgrounds at different layers.
Some differences to expect:
 Cultural and Ethnic Diversity
 Socio-Economic Diversity
 Youth Culture: Generational Diversity
All three of these reflect different layers of cultures. Family traditions, values, perspectives on time,
handling conflict, viewing authority, and communicating all unique to each family context.

74. ∗ Culture is BIG
∗ Misunderstandings Happen
∗ Educate Yourself
∗ If You Don’t Know, Ask
∗ Creatively Explore Together
74

75. Celebrating Diversities
Mentors and mentees may or may not share similar backgrounds. How mentors handle economic and cultural
differences could greatly influence communication and how the relationship develops. Consider the following aspects
of diversity... Be open to learning and growing by listening and asking.
ii. Have an open and inquisitive mind.
iii. “If you want to ask it, be prepared to answer it”
b. Make the effort to educate yourself.
i. Show an interest and do your homework.
1. Attend festivals together and talk about them
2. Talk about books being read in school or family events
ii. Learn more about yourself and your own cultural habits that you might think are
universal—but aren’t!
1. Invite your mentee to something that’s important to you and talk about why this was cool for you.
c. You realize that you are on two socio-economic levels, and don’t know what to do about it.
i. Don’t try to be the social worker or service provider.
ii. Open the doors

76.  Learn about your mentees:
 Culture
 Ancestry
 Ethnic Identity
 What can you share?
 Remember, never be afraid to ask.
76

77.  Be aware of the potential for a wealth and privilege gap
 Words of Wisdom:
 Provide Access
 Focus on Free: Find fun, free things to do out in the community, on
college campuses (arts & sports), & schools (ball games, plays, concerts)
 Set Goals
 Set limits for spending; Don’t be the “rich auntie/uncle”, or the “spoiler”
 In tough situations involving “I wish I could afford this… I wish I had a…”
 Suggest the pathway to attaining those items and services.
 Is your mentee old enough to work?
 Can they save an allowance?
77

78. ∗ Remember your own youth
∗ Understand his need
for independence
∗ Suggest positive things
∗ Know that this
friendship is different.
78

79. Tough situations…
how will you react?
Click here:

80. Children of Incarcerated Parents
∗ About the Children and their Families

81. The Starfish Poem
Once upon a time there was a wise man that used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of
walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore, he looked down
the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who
would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a
young man and the young man wasn’t dancing but instead was reaching down the shore, picking up
something and gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got close, he called out, “Good Morning! What are
you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied “Throwing starfish in the ocean.” “I guess I
should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?” “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I
don’t throw them in they’ll die.” “But young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach
and starfish all along it? You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then bent
down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, pass the breaking waves and said- “It made a
difference for that one.”

82. Children of Incarcerated Parents: A Bill of
Rights
∗ I have the right to be kept safe and informed at the time of my parent’s arrest.
∗ I have the right to be heard when decisions are made about me.
∗ I have the right to be considered when decisions are made about my parent.
∗ I have the right to be well and cared for in my parent’s absence.
∗ I have the right to speak with, see, and touch my parent.
∗ I have the right to support as I struggle with my parent’s incarceration.
∗ I have the right to not be judged, blamed, or labeled because of my parent’s
incarceration.
∗ I have the right to a lifelong relationship with my parent.

83. Background Information on the Children and
Families
 Most children come from families with low SES
 All mentees are school aged children
 All mentees have an incarcerated parent who is spending a minimum
of one year in a North Dakota prison
 The children currently live with a family member or are in foster care.

84. What to Expect from the Children
Attitudes, behaviors, and emotions you can expect to see from your mentee:
∗ low self-esteem ∗ hyperactivity
∗ lack of trust ∗ fearful
∗ angry ∗ anxious
∗ sad ∗ guilt or shame
∗ defensive ∗ too clingy, or attached to you
∗ aggressive ∗ decline in academic
performance
∗ quiet or withdrawn
∗ fighting with friends or peers
∗ fighting with family members

85. Possible Developmental Effects on Children of Incarcerated Parents
From Middle Childhood Through Late Adolescence
(Source: Dr. Denise Johnston, “Effects of Parental Incarceration, in Gabel and Johnston, p.68)
Development Developmental Developmental Influencing Effects
al Stage Characteristics Tasks Factors
Middle Increased Ability to work Parent-child Acute traumatic
independence, productively separation, trauma stress and reactive
Childhood
ability to reason, behaviors
(7-10 Years) importance of peers
Early Increase in abstract Ability to work with Parent-child Rejection of limits
thinking, future others, control of separation, trauma on behavior,
Adolescence
orientated behavior, emotions trauma reactive
(11-14 Years) puberty behaviors
Late Independence, Achieve identity, Parent-child Inter-
abstract thinking, engage in adult separation, trauma generational crime,
Adolescence
emotional confusion, work, resolve premature end of
(15-18 Years) sexual development conflict parent relationship

86. Mentoring Context: “The System”
∗ When a child has an incarcerated parent or other struggles going
on in their home, it is very common that the child has a “system” of
people working with them.

87. Mentoring Context: “The System”
What systems are there?
∗ School System
∗ Social Services
∗ Tribal Systems
∗ Legal System
∗ Mental Health Professionals

88. Mentoring Context: “The System”
∗ Mentors are NOT allowed to interact with any of these systems
without first having permission from the mentee’s parent or legal
guardian.
∗ If a mentor is interested in being involved with a particular system it
is best to talk with a program manager.

89. Mentees & “The System”
∗ When working with so many systems a mentee might feel like they
have no rights or say in what is going on. Here are some things to
remember that children have the right to when being involved in
the system...

90. When Formal Mentoring Ends:
• Be clear about timeline
• Reflect together
• Accept feelings
• Plan a closing
• Keep in touch
Metro Youth Partnership 90

91. Saying Goodbye
∗ Have a formal end to your relationship is very important!
∗ Talk about the time frame of mentoring at the
beginning and as the end nears, so the end is planned
∗ Explain the reasons for the end of the relationship
∗ Celebrate the relationship!
- Have a special event for your last meeting
∗ Let the mentee know how special he or she is to you!!!

92. Thank You!
∗ We appreciate your time and energy spent learning how to
become a good mentor for children of incarcerated parents.
Please take a few minutes to complete our training
evaluation.

93. “One hundred years from now, it will
not matter what my bank account
was, how big my house was, or what
kind of car I drove. But the world may
be a little better, because I was
important in the life of a child.”
-Forest Witcraft, Within My Power

94. Metro Youth Partnership 94