Managing Conflicts - Human Behavior Organization.pptx

Managing Conflicts
Analyze the conflict.
Stay calm and focus on the common
goal.
Separate the person from the
problem.
Be an active listener.
Share your position.
Use neutral language.
Reflect on the situation.
Work together to compromise and find a
solution.
Make a resolution plan.
Pick your battles.
Agree to disagree.
Forgive each other.
Ask a third party for help.
Build up more positive

Managing Conflicts
Analyze the conflict.
Conflicts can seem very complicated when in reality, there are typically 1 or 2 main causes. Think
carefully about the situation to pinpoint the central issues at the heart of the conflict. Identifying the root
cause will allow you to better articulate your concerns and focus your perspective.
• Ask yourself a few questions. What event triggered the conflict? Are you angry, and why? What do you
want but aren't getting? Is your anger justified, or are you overreacting? Identify the key players
involved as well.
• For example, if you’re upset that a coworker has left early several days in a row, the root cause of the
conflict could be your frustration at feeling like you’ve been doing more than your fair share or the work.
• Make a list of the issues at hand and study the ones that overlap. If the root cause of the conflict isn't
obvious, overlapping issues can often tell you exactly what it is.
• You might have an intrapersonal (internal) conflict instead. It's also vital to analyze conflicts that exist
within yourself. Try journaling to keep track of your feelings and pinpoint the source of your inner
turmoil.

Managing Conflicts
Stay calm and focus on the common
goal.
Keeping a level head prevents conflict from escalating further
Whether you're directly involved in the conflict or in the middle of a conflict between other
people, keep calm to ensure the situation doesn't escalate. The common goal in any conflict should be
to manage and resolve the problem fairly; make this your priority and ensure everyone else is on board
too.
•Acknowledge the conflict rather than avoiding it. Conflict can only be solved when addressed directly
and embraced as an opportunity for growth!
•If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, consider taking a step back before confronting the problem.
Conflicts are less likely to be solved rationally when either side is flooded with emotions.
•When managing a conflict for coworkers or subordinates, reassure them that you'll be as objective as
possible while you work together.

Separate the person from the
problem.
Managing Conflicts
Resolve conflict by focusing on the issue, not the person involved. View the problem as a specific
incident or behavior instead of blaming the other person's character as a whole. This makes the conflict
feel less personal for both parties and thus makes it easier to solve. It can also salvage your
relationship with the other person, where otherwise you might decide not to work with them anymore.
•For example, if someone in the office is being disruptive, focus on minimizing the behavior rather than
accusing the person responsible. Say, “There were a lot of disruptions today,” rather than, “You’re
disruptive and rude.”

Be an active listener.
Managing Conflicts
Active listening promotes positive, open, and respectful communication
In social situations, it can be a powerful tool to ensure you understand what someone else is
saying. Give the other person time to talk uninterrupted and listen non-judgmentally. Maintain steady
(but non-aggressive) eye contact and focus on them without trying to think of a rebuttal while they
speak.
•Save all questions and comments until they've fully outlined their position and finished speaking.
•Avoid body language that suggests judgment or anger, such as eye-rolling, tightly crossed arms or
legs, or smirking. Being non-judgmental will make the other person feel like they can trust you.
•Encourage the person with simple affirming comments or gestures. A quick nod or a simple "Mmhm"
can let them know you're paying attention to them.
•Show compassion for the other person's position. They'll be more agreeable if they see you're trying to
understand where they're coming from.

Managing Conflicts
Share your position.
Be specific to help the other person understand your perspective
Let the other person know how you feel, the specific problem, and its impact on you. Use "I"-
based statements to keep the conversation focused on your needs and emotions. Then, list a few
specific scenarios that illustrate your point so the other person can see things from your point of view.
•Start "I"-based statements with "I feel...", "I think..." You could tell a coworker, "I feel like my ideas are
sometimes overlooked," instead of the more accusatory alternative, "You never listen to my ideas!"
•Specific examples can drive your point home. If you feel overlooked at work, you could say, "I was
disappointed when my suggestions weren’t included in yesterday’s project notes."
•In the case of an intrapersonal conflict, take the time to acknowledge your own feelings. Be aware of
what you're feeling and why, even negative emotions like sadness, loneliness, frustration, and anger.

Use neutral language.
Managing Conflicts
Neutral language keeps the discussion objective and non-judgmental
Inflammatory language (like profanity, name-calling, and put-downs) only escalates the conflict.
Instead, keep the discussion less emotional by using objective language. Rephrase negative statements into
neutral comments and ask sincere questions to get your coworker’s side of the story and use a calm, even tone
of voice.
•An example of inflammatory language would be telling a colleague, “You tried to undermine me in front of our
boss! You’re a backstabber who wants to make me look bad.”
•Rephrase this by saying something like, “I’m wondering why my presentation was interrupted yesterday; I really
wanted to show the supervisor my work. Could you help me understand what happened?”
•Use lots of neutral phrases like “Help me understand…”, “I wonder if…”, or, “How can we solve this?” Neutral
language includes any phrasing that doesn’t attack the other person.
•If your colleague uses inflammatory language, don't hesitate to ask them to stop or get a mediator to help. Be
polite but firm, keep a cool head, and don't let them rile you up too.

Managing Conflicts
Reflect on the situation.
Show all parties that you hear and understand their concerns
Often, conflict stems from one party feeling as though they're not being heard or understood.
Take time throughout your conversation to reiterate what the other person says. This will help you clarify
your understanding of the situation and convey to the other person that you do hear them.
•Say you have a conflict with a coworker, and they've explained their position to you. You could say, "To
clarify, you feel you were overlooked for the new project and would like to be a part of the planning
committee."
•Once you reflect on the situation, let the other person confirm or correct you. Either way, this ensures
that you're both on the same page.
•If you reach an impasse, ask the other person for a break so you can think over the situation further and
reanalyze your perspective on the matter. Specify a day and time when you can both pick up the
discussion.
•Consider sending your coworker an objective summary of the last discussion. This reiterates your
understanding of the situation and keeps both of you accountable.

Managing Conflicts
Work together to compromise and find a
solution.
Cooperation encourages everyone to stop tossing around the blame
Resolve the conflict by working together and brainstorming solutions to the conflict that
addresses everyone's concerns. Write down your ideas and see if there's one solution that both of you
find fair and reasonable. A good resolution usually involves compromise—meeting halfway so that you
both leave satisfied.
•Be creative! Come up with multiple solutions that all address your common goal of resolving the
situation fairly. Think outside the box to find the best option for everyone.
•For example, if you disagree with a coworker over the style of a joint project, put your heads together
and figure out what you particularly like about each style. Can you combine styles and salvage your
favorite parts of each?
•While compromise is a good route, remember that you shouldn't have to compromise your integrity to
make someone else happy.
•For an intrapersonal conflict, brainstorm solutions and write them down. Take an honest look at the
situation and weigh your options before deciding.

Managing Conflicts
Make a resolution plan.
A plan defines each party's responsibilities and prevents more conflict
After finding a solution everyone can agree on, sit down together and figure out what you'll
all do to resolve the dispute. How will the immediate problem be fixed? What other practices might
help avoid future conflict and maintain positive communication? Ensure everyone involved
collaborates on the win-win solution.
•As you put together a plan, let everyone know you appreciate their efforts and that you're willing to
get together soon to check on progress.

Managing Conflicts
Pick your battles.
Not all conflicts are worth holding onto at the cost of your energy
Some issues can't be solved to the satisfaction of both parties, especially if one person rejects
any negotiation. In those cases, ask yourself how much the issue at the core of the conflict matters to
you. Are you willing to concede or keep dialoguing to reach a different resolution? Is this conflict worth
your time and energy?
•If you decide the conflict isn't worth your energy, give the other person a simple concession. You don't
need to back down if you're justifiably frustrated, but you don't need to fight a battle that's more trouble
than it's worth.
•Conceding doesn't mean saying, "You're right, and I'm wrong." Instead, say, "I've thought about the
situation, and I think you feel more strongly about it than I do. I'm willing back you up and put the issue to
rest."

Managing Conflicts
Agree to disagree.
Focus on finding a solution rather than determining who is “right.”
Remember that truth is relative; what one person considers true is not necessarily true for
someone else. Look for mutually agreeable solutions with your coworker rather than arguing your
opinions. In the end, it doesn't matter who is right—and placing blame drags out the conflict.
•For example, consider the differing testimony of various coworkers who have heard about the same
conflict from several different sources. Truth depends on a person's point of view.

Managing Conflicts
Forgive each other.
Forgiveness is the easiest path towards future cooperation
Apologize if you have wronged each other somehow, and find a place that allows you to
truly forgive each other. Even if you can't completely forget what happened, forgiveness is the most
mature route, allowing you to put the conflict behind you fully. Be honest and genuine with the other
person and accept their apology if they offer one.
•If you can't forgive the other person, then at the very least maintain a distantly polite or professional
demeanor when you have to see or work with them.
•It takes strong character and compassion to forgive someone. If you can forgive someone who hurt
you, be proud of yourself for moving on from the conflict!

Managing Conflicts
Ask a third party for help.
A trusted confidante can give you confidential, objective advice
If you feel that you're getting nowhere (or things are getting worse), ask for help managing
the conflict. Consult a manager, seek professional counseling, or ask a close mutual friend for help. A
third party can offer a better perspective in situations where the people involved are so emotionally
invested that it's hard to think straight.
•Generally, you should always deal directly with the person you're in conflict with and keep any
discussions confidential. However, a third party is sometimes necessary if the conflict escalates.
•In situations where the conflict is internal (intrapersonal), feel free to consult a friend, family member,
or counselor whenever you think it's necessary. Outside advice will help you look at the problem
objectively.

Managing Conflicts
Build up more positive
relationships.
Collaborate and bond with co-workers to prevent future conflict
After successfully managing a conflict, offer them sincere thanks for working with you. From
that point forward, continue to acknowledge and compliment their progress. Build a more positive
relationship between the two of you over time and communicate regularly to prevent more conflicts.
•The next time you work on something together, celebrate the progress you've both made. "This has
been great! I'm delighted we got the chance to collaborate again."
•Offer the other person a compliment on their work every so often. "That presentation was really well
done! You clearly worked hard on it."

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