Humans communicate on many levels: spoken language, tone, body language, style and personality. The fact that we have complex cultural identities and a host of differing past experiences increases the probability of cross-cultural miscommunications. This workshop presents major cross-cultural communication theories, ways that cultural values, power, privilege and differences affect the way we communicate, tools for questioning assumptions, and ways to improve cross-cultural communications skills.

1. Harborview Leadership Development Institute
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
What I Said and What I Meant:
Cross Cultural Communication
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Agenda
 Cultural Competence
 Cross Cultural Communication
 Cultural Identifiers, Power, and
Communication
 So What? Now What?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

4. Culture [consists] primarily of the
symbolic, ideational, and intangible
aspects of human societies… It is the
values, symbols, interpretations, and
perspectives that distinguish one
people from another.
James A. Banks
What is Culture?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

5. Race
Religion
Class
Gender
Sexual
Orientation
Ability
Age
Ethnicity
Geographic Location
Language
Educational
Attainment
Appearance
Seniority
Position
or Title
Status
Relationship
To Power Players
InternalExternal
Institutional
Dimensions of Identity and Culture
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Cultural Competency:
Many Models
Cultural competence is a set of
congruent behaviors, attitudes and
policies that come together in a
system, institution or individual and
enable that system, institution or
individual to work effectively in cross-
cultural situations.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Terry Cross

7. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
The Jones Model of Cultural Competence
Cultural Self-
Awareness
Cultural
Intelligence
Cross-Cultural
Effectiveness
Skills
Countering
Oppression
through
Inclusion

8.  What is it?
 How is it Different from Intercultural
Communication?
 CCC Theories
– Face-Negotiation Theory
– Conversational Constraints Theory
– Expectancy Violation Theory
– Anxiety/Uncertainty Management Theory
– Communication Accommodation Theory
Cross Cultural Communication
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Individual - Collectivistic
Low Context - High Context
Task - Relationship
Low Uncertainty - High Uncertainty
Vertical - Horizontal
Dimensions of Variability
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10.  Personality Orientation
 Individual Values
- Allocentric
- Idiocentric
 Self Construal
- Independent
- Interdependent
 Individual Socialization
 Cultural Norms and Rules
Factors that Influence
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

11. Cultural Values
Norms, and Rules
 Values
 Value Priorities
 Norms of Behavior
 Non-Verbal
Communication
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

12. CulturalValueDifferences
RELATIONAL
Individualism
self-reliance, independence
(selfish)
Collectivism
group interdependence
(mindless follower)
Informality
directness, give and take discussion
(rude and abrupt)
Formality
indirectness, protect "face"
(stiff and impersonal)
Competition
individual achievement
(egotistical, show-off)
Cooperation
group achievement
(avoiding doing work or taking responsibility)
AUTHORITY
Egalitarianism
fairness, belief in equal opportunity
(being picky, on a soapbox)
Hierarchy
privilege of status or rank
(power hungry or avoiding accountability)
TEMPORAL
Use of Time
"Time is money"
(doesn’t get the important things in life)
Passage of Time
"Time is for life"
(lazy and irresponsible)
Change/Future
Adaptability ensures survival
(muckraker, stirs up trouble)
Tradition/Past
Stability ensures survival
(old-school, afraid of change)
ACTIVITY
Action orientation
"Make things happen"
(rushes without thinking)
"Being" orientation
"Let things happen"
(indecisive and slow)
Practicality
Efficiency is always best
(impersonal and unscrupulous)
Idealism
Always maintain principles
(naïve and impractical)
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13. Discussion: My Style
In hearing about
communication and value
differences, what would you
describe as your cultural
communication style or
value priorities? Have you
noticed stark differences
compared to others?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

14. Identifiers, Power,
and Communication
Internalized Oppression/Dominance
Stereotype Threat
Accumulated Impact/
Microaggressions
Code/Mode Switching
Implicit Bias
Fish Seeing the Water
“Normal” versus “Good”
“Intent” versus “Impact”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

15. Discussion: Conflict Re-understood
Think about a conflict or
misunderstanding which you now see as a
result of identity and power differences.
Using some of the terminology
introduced, discuss with a partner or
group of three what was going on to cause
the conflict or misunderstanding.
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16. So What? Now What?
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17. Embracing Mistakes
William Taylor’s Reflective Competence Model
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18. What Are Microaggressions?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Accumulated Impact
Regular, Frequent, and Pervasive
Based on Stereotype
Often Unintended

19. Speaking From the Heart
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

20. What We’re Thinking and Feeling
When Receiving Microaggressions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Did that really
happen? Do they
realize? I want to
trust, but I’ve had
this happen so
many times before.
I am so stressed,
confused, hurt….

21. What We End Up Saying
When Receiving Microaggressions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
That was so
offensive!
I can’t believe
you did that!

22. Be A DEAR….
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23. Self Advocacy Through Microaggressions
 Affirm the person or relationship
 Describe the behavior without judgment
 Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
 Assume positive intent
 Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

24. Self Advocacy Through Microaggressions:
An Example
I appreciate having you as a colleague. We work
together well, and I respect the contributions you make
to the team. Earlier today, when someone corrected
you on using the correct gender pronouns for me, I
heard you say, “They know what I meant,” and later,
you said, “Well it’s so difficult, and they should know
others are going to mess up a lot.” I was hurt when I
heard these things. My gender is something that I
have had to defend and affirm since I was a kid. Every
day, every space, I have to come out, reaffirm, and
defend. It’s frustrating and saddening that I have to do
the same with someone I see every day and work side
by side with. I imagine you didn’t mean for me to feel
that way. Can I ask that you make bigger efforts to get
my pronouns right, and take it seriously when you
make a mistake and someone corrects you?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

25. Practice Round:
Self Advocacy Through Microaggressions
 Affirm the person or relationship
 Describe the behavior without judgment
 Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
 Assume positive intent
 Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

26. Being A Witness
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

27. What We’re Thinking and Feeling
When Witnessing Microaggressions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
I can’t believe this
is happening.
That’s SO not
right. Should I
say something?
Am I butting in?
Would it help?
I am so upset!

28. What We End Up Saying
When Witnessing Microaggressions
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29. What Others Hear When We Say Nothing
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See? They
agree with me!
I am so right
about this.
No one sees or
understands. I
am alone.

30. They were born
innocent…
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31. NCBI Effective
Interventions Model
 Reduce Defensiveness
– Tone
– Body Language
– Respect
 Keep the Conversation Going
– Hear Them Out
– Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
– Dialogue
 Build the Relationship
 Stop the Behavior
 Win an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

32. Intervening in Microaggressions: Examples
 Ask open ended questions
– “He looked suspicious”
– “How did he look? How was he acting? Why was that suspicious?”
 Find out the experience motivating the comment
– “Why can’t they just speak English around here?”
– “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.”
– “I’m sick of my taxes paying for freeloaders”
– “Tell me more about about that.”
 Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on
(use sparingly)
– “What do gay people think about this issue?”
– “I’m not sure – I’ll go ask. It may take me a while, since there are so many gay people.”
 Join the person and do not make yourself superior
– “She got that award because she’s Black and female.”
– “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
Black woman gets recognized it must be because of ‘diversity’ or ‘affirmative action’
stuff rather than that she earned it.”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

33. Practice Round:
Intervening in Microaggressions
 Ask open ended questions
 Find out the experience motivating the comment
 Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going
on (use sparingly)
 Join the person and do not make yourself superior
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

34. Listening to the Real Message
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35. What Was Said During the Intervention
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Those words or
actions are
hurtful to me.
Please stop.

36. What We Hear During the Intervention
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You are a
bad, bad
person, and I
hate you!

37. What We Should Hear
During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
You are basically a good
and decent person. As
with all of us, you’ve
made a mistake, and you
may not know how that
mistake is impacting
others. I am going to
give you the gift of
information so that your
intentions and impacts
match up.

38. It’s a gift…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

39. When You’re Told About Microaggressive
Impacts You Created
 Listen with full attention
 Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
 Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
 Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

40. When You’re Told About
Microaggressive Impacts You Created:
Examples
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
 “I really appreciate your telling me this.”
 “I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”
 “I’m so sorry my words and actions made you feel
that way. No matter what I intended, it hurt you.”
 “I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t
want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I take a few minutes?”
 “I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I
handled very well… Can we talk?”

41. Reflection Round:
When You’re Told About
Microaggressive Impacts You Created
 Listen with full attention
 Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
 Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
 Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

42. Final Words of Advice:
Recognize Your Triggers
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43. Find Your Bucket People
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44. Practice Makes
Less Freeze-Ups
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45. If You Messed Up and You Know It,
Don’t Wait for the Intervention –
Just Apologize
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46. If You’re Really Sorry,
Work to Improve
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47. Build Authentic Relationships
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48. “To be culturally effective doesn’t
mean you are an authority in the
values and beliefs of every culture.
What it means is that you hold a
deep respect for cultural differences
and are eager to learn, and willing to
accept, that there are many ways of
viewing the world”
Okokon O. Udo
Cultural Effectiveness
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

49. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

50. Communication Resources
• “Stereotype Threat” by Joshua Aronson
• Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating
Social Identity
• William Gudykunst, Cross-Cultural and Intercultural
Comunication
• Milton Bennett, PhD, Intercultural Communication
Institute www.intercultural.org
• “Non-Verbal Communication Across Cultures” by Erica
Hagen, Intercultural Communication Resources
• Thiagi.com
• Thrive! Team Dynamics
• http://www.analytictech.com/mb021/action_science_
history.htm
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

51. Miscellaneous Resources
• Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, “Privilege and
Power,” Summer Diversity Institute, National Association
of Independent Schools, 2009
• Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education
Network) www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference
• Johnnie McKinley, “Leveling the Playing Field and Raising
African American Students’ Achievement in Twenty-nine
Urban Classrooms,” New Horizons for Learning,
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/
mckinley.htm
Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)