Puberty, teen-hood, identity search, relationship drama, and self doubt. Becoming a middle school girl can be fraught with challenges at every corner. How do we keep our girls resilient through this turbulent time? Examine the crossroads of socio-emotional and identity development, gender differences and bias, and adolescent brain and body changes that your girls are entering. What does the research say about best practices toward resilience, excellence, healthy relationships, and self esteem—and how does Seattle Girls’ School specifically apply the practices?

1. Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Supporting Our Girls in the Middle Years
A Workshop for Parents, Guardians, and Supporters
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Agenda
• Gender Differences and Bias
• Socioemotional and Identity
Development
• Adolescence and the Brain
• Resources
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4. Disclaimers and
Other Food for Thought
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5. Introductions
Warm-Up Questions
Please introduce yourself, your child, and your child’s
grade. What brought you to the session today? What
tools would you like to get out of our time together?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Gender Differences
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7. Brash
Troublemaker
Strong
Competitive
Physical
Silent
Clever
Mistake-Prone
Belligerent
Intuitive
Well-Behaved
Delicate
Cooperative
Emotional
Verbal
Pretty
Perfect
Nice
Gender Bias
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8. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

10. Girls and Gender Bias
Where Does it Lead?
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11. Beauty
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The “Pretty Girl” on Beauty

12. Walking a Thin Line of “Good Girl”
Sexy --- Slutty
Powerful --- Mean
Smart --- Bookish
Cheerful --- Uncool
Confident --- “All That”
Athletic --- Jocky
Close to Friends --- Gay
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

13. The “Good Girl” in Conflict
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14. Alternative Aggression
• Relational Aggression
• Indirect Aggression
• Social Aggression
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15. Friends and Frienemies
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16. How Does it Show Up?
How do gender differences
and gender bias affect your
girls? What is new,
interesting, thought
provoking, etc. about what
you have heard so far?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

17. Social Development
Joanne Deak, Girls Will Be Girls
• Self Awareness (0-2)
• Parallel Play (2-3)
• Interactive Play (3-6)
• Transitory Friendships (6-8)
• Friendship Clusters (8-10)
• Best Friends or Generalists (10-12)
• Cliques (12-14)
• Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+)
• (Almost) Universal Acceptance (Seniors)
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

18. Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

19. Developmental Characteristics of
Adolescence
• Identity Formation
• Tenuous Sense of Self
• Self-Regulation
• Imaginary Audience
• Development of Self-Esteem
• Adolescent Egocentricism
• Importance of Peer Relationships
• Formation of Groups, Crowds and Cliques
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

20. How Does it Show Up?
Where are your girls in their
socioemotional and identity
development? What is new,
interesting, thought
provoking, etc. about what
you have heard so far?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

21. Adolescence
“Teenagers [are like] people
constantly on LSD. People on
acid are intense, changeable,
internal, often cryptic and
uncommunicative, and, of course,
dealing with a different reality.”
Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia
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22. Changes
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23. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Brain Science Crash Course

24. Adolescent Brain Research
• Brain keeps growing and developing to age 25!
• Teen brain is a “late childhood brain”
– Capacity to learn things quickly
– Connections between different sections of the
brain aren’t fully developed yet.
– Brain is pruning and re-wiring neurons during
this time
– Amygdala is getting hyper triggered by
hormones
– Prefrontal Cortex (frontal lobe) is last place for
connections to develop.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

25. The Two Brains
• Rational Brain and
Emotional Brain
• Both Valuable,
Both Able to
Mislead
• Emotional
System’s
Evolutionary
Origin
Epstein. Stanford Social Innovation Review. Spring 2006.
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26. The Emotional Brain
• Pattern Recognition
Without Conscious
Awareness
• Motivates Behavior
Change Through
Feelings, autonomic
Responses
• First Impression
• Thin Slice of
Information
Gladwell. Blink. NY: Little, Brown & Co. 2005.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

27. Pre-Frontal Cortex: PFC
• High level reasoning
• Decision-making
• Impulse control
• Assessment of consequences
• Planning, strategizing, organizing
• Inhibiting inappropriate behavior
• Adjusting behavior when the
situation changes
• Setting priorities
• Estimating and understanding
probabilities
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

28. The Problem
• Cognitive abilities 
performance
• Analysis  primary
mode of decision-
making
• Competence  use
of that competence
Kluczynski. Child Development 2001; 72:844
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

29. PFC vs Amygdala
PFC:
Situation 
Assess 
Plan
Amygdala:
Situation 
Emotion/Feeling 
React
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

30. Peer Pressure
• Computerized risk-taking
tests done alone and while
watched by friends:
– Adults: peers have no effect
– Adolescents: peers doubles
the number of risks taken
• Brain scans at the same
time suggest presence of
friends activates a different
part of the brain
Laurence Steinberg
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31. Implications
• They ARE capable
• Circumstances matter
• Social + Emotional +
Intellectual = Decision
• Amygdala first, PFC
last
• Gut response first,
reason second
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

32. How Does it Show Up?
What are you most excited
and worried about as your
girls enter adolescence?
What is new, interesting,
thought provoking, etc. about
what you have heard so far?
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33. Entering the Middle Years
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34. Questions and Answers
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35. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

36. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,”
Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind
and power.
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430
7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

37. Resources
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind
and power.
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430
7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

38. Gender Specific Resources
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and
Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
• Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America.
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender
differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.”
• Northwest Girls Coalition, Protective Factors for Middle School Girls -
What can Parents Do?
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent
Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good
Girl
• Harriet R. Tenenbaum, “Gender Achievement Motivation,” Learning and
the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003.
• Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter
Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence,
Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads
• Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth.
• Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)