Inclusive Peer Leadership: Identity, Allyship, and Equity

Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Inclusive Peer Leadership:
Identity, Allyship, and Equity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

About Seattle Girls’ School

Agenda
 Our Full and Authentic Identities
 Allyship and Solidarity
 Practicing Equity

Race
Religion
Class
Gender
Sexual
Orientation
Ability
Age
Ethnicity
Geographic Location
Language
Educational
Attainment
Appearance
Seniority
Position
or Title
Status
Relationship
To Power Players
Internal
External
Institutional
Dimensions of Identity and Culture

My Full Self
Person of Color
Asian
Korean
American
49 Years Old
Raised with Buddhism
Raised with Christianity
Spiritual
Queer/Bisexual
Female Bodied
Female Identifying
Gender Nonconforming
Mostly Able Bodied
Mostly Able Minded
Raised Working Class
High Income Earning
Immigrant
Boston Native
English Speaking
College Educated
Educator
Activist
Loving Wife
Daughter, Sister, Aunt
Learner
And More…

An Ally Is…
“a person who is a member of the dominant or
majority group who works to end oppression in
his or her personal and professional life
through support of, and as an advocate with
and for, the oppressed population”
Washington and Evans, Becoming an Ally

An Ally Is…
“Someone who doesn’t have to stand up for
someone else, who might even lose something
if they do, but they do it anyway because they
know it’s the right thing to do”
Anna, 6th Grader

Bystander to Ally
Karen Bradberry, PhD
Active Passive Passive Active
Agent Bystander Ally

Speaking From the Heart

Can you lean on the
relationship?
Can you make it personal?
* Is your relationship
hierarchical? *

Being ADEAR
 Affirm the person or relationship
 Describe the behavior without judgment
 Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
 Assume positive intent
 Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***

Being ADEAR: An Example
I really appreciate having you as a friend. I
have so much fun with you, and I can tell you
anything. Earlier today, when I got my math
test back and I got 98%, I heard you say, “Well
of course you got a 98% - you’re Asian!” I was
pretty hurt when I heard that. I work hard in all
my classes to get good grades, but so many
people assume it’s because of my race. It’s
sad that I don’t get to own my hard work and
accomplishments like everyone else. I’m
pretty sure you didn’t mean for me to feel that
way. Can I ask that you please don’t say
things like that anymore, where my good
grades have anything to do with my race?

Bearing Witness

Are you speaking to the agent or
the audience?
Do you want to minimize harm to
the target group?
Do you want to educate?
Do you want to challenge social
norms?

Active Witnessing: Examples
 Ask open ended questions
– “He looked suspicious”
– “How did he look? How was he acting? Why was that suspicious?”
 Find out the experience motivating the comment
– “Why are people complaining about the movie night? It’s only $20 a person.”
– “Tell me more about about that.”
 Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on
(use sparingly)
– “What do gay people think about this issue?”
– “I’m not sure – I’ll go ask. It may take me a while, since there are so many gay people.”
 Join the person and do not make yourself superior
– “She got into that school because she’s Black and female.”
– “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
Black woman gets admitted to good schools it must be because of ‘diversity’ or
‘affirmative action’ stuff rather than that she earned it.”

Listening to the Real Message

Is this about what you did or
who you are (guilt or shame)?
What is your mindset voice
telling you?
Might this be an opportunity to
learn and grow?

Growing from Mistakes
 Listen with full attention
 Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
 Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
 Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill***

Growing from Mistakes: Examples
 “I really appreciate your telling me this.”
 “I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”
 “I’m very sorry my words and actions made you
feel that way.”
 “I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t
want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I take a few minutes?”
 “I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I
handled very well… Can we talk?”

Empowering Others

Levels of Decision Making
Level 1: I made the decision; you make it happen.
Level 2: I made the decision; give me feedback to
improve it.
Level 3: I’m about to make the decision; what do I
need to consider?
Level 4: I need a team to research and make
recommendations; based on that, I will make the
decision.
Level 5: I need a team to research and make the
decision; I will make it happen.

Cultivating Future Leaders
 Looking for Potential
 Encouraging Participation
 Partnering
 Offering Leadership
Opportunities
 Giving Feedback
 Leaving Legacy Tools

Being a Multiplier
Multipliers by Liz Wiseman

Ensuring Voice

Equitable Meetings
Who is invited, and who is not?
Who speaks? Who takes majority of the airtime?
Who is listened to? Did everyone speak?
Are people attentive to one another, or are they distracted, checking phones,
emails, etc. depending who is talking?
Are similar ideas ignored when it comes from one person and seen as a great
idea when it comes from someone else?
Who interrupted? Who was interrupted?
Is gregariousness or talkativeness rewarded or deliberateness or quiet
reflection?
Who sits next to whom? Does the arrangement change from meeting to
meeting? Who sits in a place where everyone can see them?
Audit how information is distributed after meetings and to whom.
Explicitly refer to equity work in meetings. Create agreements, space for
everyone, and a culture of accountability for inclusion.

Resource:
To Equalize Power Among Us

Gathering Constituent Voice
 Public, Private, Anonymous
 Formal and Informal
 Written, Electronic, Verbal
 Open Door and Sought Out
 Communication Channels
Known
 Findings Reflected

Equity Tools

Inclusion Planning Tool

Inclusive Communication
UBC Rec ea ion Incl i e Comm nica ion
Checkli
Language
1. Written materials presented in a clear writing style?
(strongly agree/agree/neutral/disagree/strongly disagree)
1. Slangs and colloquialisms used?
(yes/no)
2. Use of gender specific pronouns?
(yes/no)
3. Is information available in languages other than English?
(yes/no)
4. If unfamiliar with any words/language that is used, please list below
Comments:
5. Are there recommendations on words to use over others?
Comments:
6. Language used is clear that all genders are welcome.
7. Language appeals to all genders
8. Tone created through language and narratives is inclusive
9. Text considers individuals with red/green color blind deficiencies

Inclusive Communities

Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee

Inclusive Peer Leadership: Identity, Allyship, and Equity

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