This document discusses self-acceptance and the desire to please others. It states that self-acceptance occurs through self-compassion and focusing on positives rather than negatives. While the desire to please is natural and necessary to get needs met as children, some develop an unhealthy need to please others to ensure their acceptance. This can lead to questioning self-worth and exploitation. The document encourages being aware of influences from others and media, and realizing that God accepts us unconditionally through reconciliation in Christ.

1. RELATIONSHIP
WITH
YOURSELF
Self-Acceptance

2. Self-Acceptance
Is unconditional and free of any kind of qualification
Allows for non-judgmentally affirming who we are
Can occur as a result of self-compassion and choosing
to focus on our positives

3. Upsides to
Self-Acceptance
It’s possible to accept yourself and remain committed
to personal growth
Accepting who you are today, gives you permission to
consider who you want to be in the future
Through self-compassion we can focus more on our
positives than our negatives

4. Self-Acceptance
From the time we are born we are seeking acceptance
We were created to be in relationship and need others
to survive
We learn early that there are rewards for doing things
that are pleasing to others

5. Early response
We learn that pleasing others can bring pleasure to ourselves

6. Disease to Please
Some of us develop a need to please others
We go from engaging in pleasing activities with others
to having a need to please

7. Disease to Please
We are all born with some of it, it’s necessary to get our
needs met
Some move to an unhealthy desire for pleasing, many
times as part of a learned behavior
We learn that some relationships are very conditional
and if we don’t meet those conditions we will be
rejected or abandoned
Where does it come from?

8. Disease to Please
We respond by pleasing others, so we can ensure our
basic needs are met
We overreact to emotional withdrawal from others
leading to questionable self-worth
The desire to please can lead to exploitation and
further emotional woundedness
How does it affect us and manifest?

9. BE AWARE OF
EXPOSURE AND
MONITOR INFLUENCE
from people and media

10. “Approval Addict”
I must be approved by certain others to feel good
about myself
Consequence of approval addiction is rejection
God’s answer to this addition is reconciliation
“The Search for Significance” - Robert S. McGee

11. “Approval Addict”
This includes you who were once far away from God.
You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil
thoughts and actions. 22 Yet now he has reconciled you
to himself through the death of Christ in his physical
body. As a result, he has brought you into his own
presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand
before him without a single fault.
Colossians 1:21-22

12. FROM
“APPROVAL ADDICT”
TO A
CROWN OF GLORY

13. Homework
1. Consider the relationships that influenced and shape you from
your childhood and early adolescent years.
2. Make a list of the 5 relationships that you believe were most
influential during this time frame.
3. Write down the overall message you received from each
person about you.
4. Reflect on each message in light of God’s word from
Philippians 1:6 and Colossians 1:21-22
5. Determine if there is truth in those messages according to
who God says you are and thank him for accepting you

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