This document provides a summary of sections from Dr. M. Scott Peck's book "The Road Less Traveled" which discusses concepts around discipline and love. The summary covers key ideas such as taking responsibility for problems, confronting issues with humility, and defining love as an act of will to help nurture spiritual growth rather than just a feeling. It also discusses risks involved with love like the risk of loss, independence, commitment, and confrontation.
The document discusses several topics related to spirituality and human development. It argues that fully participating in the life of the Creator and cooperating with the Spirit is more authentic than finding comfort in false loves or religions. It also says that infatuations can be a natural early stage of love if properly oriented, but can become idolatry or infidelity if improperly nurtured. Lastly, it asserts that all stages of human development are equally intrinsically valuable, and that we should not devalue aspects like the body or early developmental stages.
This part explains how to maintain healthy intimate relationships based on the principles outlined in the book "The 7 Levels of Intimacy" by Matthew Kelly.
This document provides an overview of forming healthy intimate relationships. It discusses intimacy as involving vulnerability and risk, and not being defined by sex alone. Intimacy is described as having four dimensions: emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical. Healthy intimacy involves balancing individuality and togetherness through differentiation - maintaining a clear sense of self even when close to others. The document emphasizes starting intimacy from within by revealing aspects of oneself, and cautions against forcing intimacy or defining relationships solely by physical aspects.
This document provides endorsements and information about the book "The Law of Attraction, Plain and Simple" by Sonia Ricotti. Several authors provide short quotes endorsing the book, saying it will teach readers how to deliberately create their dreams and greatest life. The book is described as taking the idea of applying the law of attraction to another level and showing readers how to go deeper, get clear, and break through to their highest purpose. Brief biographical information is given about Sonia Ricotti, the author of the book.
1. The counselor uses questions from social psychology to understand the client's view of themselves and their situation better.
2. For one client, Mary, who was raped, the counselor's questions reveal that her current negative views of men developed after the event, rather than reflecting her pre-existing thoughts.
3. For another client, John, who seeks personal growth, the counselor's questions provide insights into how John sees himself as dull to others but more fun with friends, and views family and community as most important.
The Gut Feel-How intuition leads to success in businessMurray Hunter
The gut feel-How intuition leads to success in busines. A small e-book about using intuition to be successful in business based on the author's experience.
Mid life crisis, transition and entrepreneurial opportunityMurray Hunter
This document discusses mid-life crisis and how it relates to entrepreneurship. It suggests that during mid-life, people often experience regret, depression, and a reevaluation of their life and career choices. This can lead to fantasies about alternative lives, such as becoming a farmer, nurturer, helper, writer, or dropout. Addressing underlying needs through a career change or new activities may help resolve a mid-life crisis. The phenomenon is not limited to mid-life and crisis can occur at any life stage due to trauma, lack of challenge, or a desire for change. This may prompt people to reevaluate their self-concept and pursue opportunities better aligned with their values and aspirations, sometimes through entrepreneurship.
A colorful Bright Livelihoods personal worksheetLisa F Widder
Curious about what "students" get out of life coaching sessions? Well, this might not answer your questions but it might get you thinking.
Check out www.brightlivelihoods.com to find out more.
The document discusses several topics related to spirituality and human development. It argues that fully participating in the life of the Creator and cooperating with the Spirit is more authentic than finding comfort in false loves or religions. It also says that infatuations can be a natural early stage of love if properly oriented, but can become idolatry or infidelity if improperly nurtured. Lastly, it asserts that all stages of human development are equally intrinsically valuable, and that we should not devalue aspects like the body or early developmental stages.
This part explains how to maintain healthy intimate relationships based on the principles outlined in the book "The 7 Levels of Intimacy" by Matthew Kelly.
This document provides an overview of forming healthy intimate relationships. It discusses intimacy as involving vulnerability and risk, and not being defined by sex alone. Intimacy is described as having four dimensions: emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical. Healthy intimacy involves balancing individuality and togetherness through differentiation - maintaining a clear sense of self even when close to others. The document emphasizes starting intimacy from within by revealing aspects of oneself, and cautions against forcing intimacy or defining relationships solely by physical aspects.
This document provides endorsements and information about the book "The Law of Attraction, Plain and Simple" by Sonia Ricotti. Several authors provide short quotes endorsing the book, saying it will teach readers how to deliberately create their dreams and greatest life. The book is described as taking the idea of applying the law of attraction to another level and showing readers how to go deeper, get clear, and break through to their highest purpose. Brief biographical information is given about Sonia Ricotti, the author of the book.
1. The counselor uses questions from social psychology to understand the client's view of themselves and their situation better.
2. For one client, Mary, who was raped, the counselor's questions reveal that her current negative views of men developed after the event, rather than reflecting her pre-existing thoughts.
3. For another client, John, who seeks personal growth, the counselor's questions provide insights into how John sees himself as dull to others but more fun with friends, and views family and community as most important.
The Gut Feel-How intuition leads to success in businessMurray Hunter
The gut feel-How intuition leads to success in busines. A small e-book about using intuition to be successful in business based on the author's experience.
Mid life crisis, transition and entrepreneurial opportunityMurray Hunter
This document discusses mid-life crisis and how it relates to entrepreneurship. It suggests that during mid-life, people often experience regret, depression, and a reevaluation of their life and career choices. This can lead to fantasies about alternative lives, such as becoming a farmer, nurturer, helper, writer, or dropout. Addressing underlying needs through a career change or new activities may help resolve a mid-life crisis. The phenomenon is not limited to mid-life and crisis can occur at any life stage due to trauma, lack of challenge, or a desire for change. This may prompt people to reevaluate their self-concept and pursue opportunities better aligned with their values and aspirations, sometimes through entrepreneurship.
A colorful Bright Livelihoods personal worksheetLisa F Widder
Curious about what "students" get out of life coaching sessions? Well, this might not answer your questions but it might get you thinking.
Check out www.brightlivelihoods.com to find out more.
Handling rejection causes feelings of loss of self-esteem and identity. While rejection initially causes anger and depression, it can motivate you to take action and aim higher. Rather than viewing rejection as a sign of inadequacy, see it as a mismatch with the situation that allows for growth. When facing rejection, pause to release fantasies, recognize what you really want versus settling for safety, and take action by reaching out more and trying new activities. View rejection as freeing you to pursue opportunities better suited to your talents.
The document describes an intimacy workshop series that will cover topics like the 7 levels of intimacy and how intimacy starts from within as we reveal our authentic selves, rather than through just physical intimacy. The workshops encourage participants to balance their needs for togetherness and individuality in relationships through self-validation and differentiation in order to have healthy intimacy.
1. The document discusses several factors that are important for maintaining healthy, long-lasting relationships, including working hard at the relationship, allowing for open communication and conflict, and focusing on positivity and appreciation of one's partner.
2. It emphasizes the importance of intimacy, where partners truly know each other by opening up and sharing both strengths and weaknesses, rather than just seeking validation.
3. Successfully dealing with conflict involves addressing specific issues or behaviors respectfully rather than attacking the other person, and keeping a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every negative one.
This document is an introduction to a book titled "Refutations of Atheism" which aims to challenge readers' understanding of fundamental principles of human existence through discussing implications of rejecting belief in God. It outlines 55 statements that would logically follow from a belief that there is no God, and provides brief discussions of each that present further implications and counterpoints. The introduction provides background on the author's views that a transcendent source of morality is essential for rational human life and functioning. It notes growing non-belief in society while observing many still cling to values with spiritual origins. The book aims to show the impossibility of living without beliefs and that objective reality relies on subjective belief. Readers are cautioned that considering these implications may
Clarification And Internalization Of ValuesLisa Montero
The document discusses clarifying and internalizing one's values through self-reflection. It defines three types of values - universal, cultural and personal - and argues that universal values like truth, happiness and justice are truly important despite seeming impractical. It provides examples showing honesty and principles can lead to success, not hinder it as commonly believed. The document stresses the importance of clarifying one's personal values to ensure one's work and life are fulfilling. It provides questions to help with self-reflection on one's deepest values and priorities.
The document discusses why facts often fail to change people's minds. It provides several reasons for this:
1) Confirmation bias causes people to only accept information that confirms their existing beliefs and reject anything contradictory.
2) People are more influenced by social approval from their peers than logic or evidence. Changing beliefs risks losing social ties.
3) Minor differences in beliefs can seem threatening, making people defensive and less open to changing their views. It is difficult to change someone's mind by directly opposing their beliefs.
The document describes the results of the StandOut assessment taken by Christina Johanna Marais. The assessment measured how well she matches 9 different roles and identified her primary role of Connector and secondary role of Provider. It provides descriptions of what each role entails and how Christina is likely to be most powerful when capitalizing on bringing people together through her network and sensitivity to others' feelings. The purpose is to help her maximize her strengths by understanding how her top two roles combine and learning ways to accelerate her performance.
The document discusses how people's perceptions and interpretations of reality influence their happiness and well-being more than objective circumstances. It argues that focusing on benefits rather than faults can lead to greater well-being, health, and longevity. The document also explores how cultivating gratitude through daily appreciation can create a growth spiral of positivity and increase life satisfaction.
This book is aimed at helping anyone seeking greater freedom in their life. The author provides practical advice for overcoming challenges like fear, guilt, unhealthy relationships, financial struggles, and more. While the book does not claim to offer psychological help, the guidance is intended to strengthen and motivate readers to transform their lives and break free from restrictions through applying the philosophies and principles discussed. The author emphasizes reading the full book sequentially to gain the proper context for understanding.
The document outlines a course on emotional intelligence and mastering relationships taught by Joseph Geraghty. It discusses setting goals for the course, developing discriminating emotional intelligence, and exercising choice as critical factors. It addresses common problems, skills for the future, and transforming one's world view through renewing the mind.
The document discusses various concepts related to peace, including that peace comes from within rather than being sought without, the importance of non-violence and compassion as exemplified by peacemakers throughout history, and how suffering exists but we can live a spiritual life and do something about suffering. It also lists "social sins" such as wealth without work, knowledge without character, and politics without principle, and quotes emphasizing living virtuously and taking action over just talking.
This document discusses various concepts related to leadership, personal development, and spirituality. It contains 3 main points:
1) Leadership is about inspiring and empowering others rather than controlling them. True leadership comes from moral authority rather than formal authority.
2) Personal growth involves moving from ego and separateness to unity with others. This includes shifting one's mindset from blame to taking responsibility.
3) Practices like gratitude, generosity, compassion, and forgiveness can help reduce stress and promote well-being. Letting go of resentment allows one to move forward in a positive manner.
The document describes a StandOut assessment that measures 9 roles and identifies a person's primary and secondary roles. These top two roles represent that person's talents and how they make an impact. The assessment helps maximize a person's strengths by showing actions they can take. It provides a report to help understand the top two roles and how they combine to reveal that person's comparative advantage.
The document describes the results of a StandOut assessment that identifies an individual's primary and secondary "Roles" based on their talents and how they show up to others. The individual assessed is identified as having a primary Role of "Pioneer" and secondary Role of "Provider." The report then provides detailed descriptions of these Roles, how they combine to reveal the individual's strengths, ideal career paths, and advice on how to maximize their performance and impact based on their Roles.
This document discusses the causes and cures for loneliness. It suggests that loneliness stems from psychological barriers like self-criticism and criticism of others that create separation. This leads people to get stuck in their own thought patterns without opening up to others. The document recommends taking an active interest in others rather than just oneself as a way to break out of isolation and make friends. It also notes that American lifestyles that prioritize shallow relationships and frequent moving can contribute to loneliness. Overall, the document explores the psychological and social factors that can lead to loneliness and offers suggestions for developing deeper connections with others.
Whether it be in your relationships at work, family, partner or friends, intimacy is the most precious and sought after experience on Earth. Download this free 38 page e-book with 36 practical exercises to help you understand and connect more with people in your everyday life.
The document describes a StandOut assessment that measures 9 roles and identifies a person's primary and secondary roles. It then provides the results of the assessment for an individual, identifying their top two roles as Advisor and Equalizer. It provides detailed descriptions of these two roles, explaining how the person is likely to operate when embodying each role.
The 5 most powerful self-beliefs that ignite human behaviorJonathan Dunnemann
These beliefs drive our underlying motives, which influence our purpose, characteristics, interests, and idiosyncratic attributes that determine who we are and what we achieve.
This document discusses the experiences that many go through after an awakening experience. While the inner state may be one of joy and happiness, the external life often gets worse with struggles in money, health and relationships. It suggests that awakening is just the beginning and that applying one's awakened state to the external world through a science of manifestation is needed to truly thrive outwardly. It identifies some common coping mechanisms used like spiritual escapism, determination and indoctrination that can prevent outward success and fulfillment.
This document provides guidance on understanding oneself through examining one's family of origin. It recommends creating a "family map" to visualize family relationships and attachment patterns over generations. Describing family members with positive and negative words can reveal one's attachment style. Knowing oneself includes understanding how family wounds influence present relationships. Self-awareness and responsibility are needed to re-create relationships in a healthy way.
Handling rejection causes feelings of loss of self-esteem and identity. While rejection initially causes anger and depression, it can motivate you to take action and aim higher. Rather than viewing rejection as a sign of inadequacy, see it as a mismatch with the situation that allows for growth. When facing rejection, pause to release fantasies, recognize what you really want versus settling for safety, and take action by reaching out more and trying new activities. View rejection as freeing you to pursue opportunities better suited to your talents.
The document describes an intimacy workshop series that will cover topics like the 7 levels of intimacy and how intimacy starts from within as we reveal our authentic selves, rather than through just physical intimacy. The workshops encourage participants to balance their needs for togetherness and individuality in relationships through self-validation and differentiation in order to have healthy intimacy.
1. The document discusses several factors that are important for maintaining healthy, long-lasting relationships, including working hard at the relationship, allowing for open communication and conflict, and focusing on positivity and appreciation of one's partner.
2. It emphasizes the importance of intimacy, where partners truly know each other by opening up and sharing both strengths and weaknesses, rather than just seeking validation.
3. Successfully dealing with conflict involves addressing specific issues or behaviors respectfully rather than attacking the other person, and keeping a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every negative one.
This document is an introduction to a book titled "Refutations of Atheism" which aims to challenge readers' understanding of fundamental principles of human existence through discussing implications of rejecting belief in God. It outlines 55 statements that would logically follow from a belief that there is no God, and provides brief discussions of each that present further implications and counterpoints. The introduction provides background on the author's views that a transcendent source of morality is essential for rational human life and functioning. It notes growing non-belief in society while observing many still cling to values with spiritual origins. The book aims to show the impossibility of living without beliefs and that objective reality relies on subjective belief. Readers are cautioned that considering these implications may
Clarification And Internalization Of ValuesLisa Montero
The document discusses clarifying and internalizing one's values through self-reflection. It defines three types of values - universal, cultural and personal - and argues that universal values like truth, happiness and justice are truly important despite seeming impractical. It provides examples showing honesty and principles can lead to success, not hinder it as commonly believed. The document stresses the importance of clarifying one's personal values to ensure one's work and life are fulfilling. It provides questions to help with self-reflection on one's deepest values and priorities.
The document discusses why facts often fail to change people's minds. It provides several reasons for this:
1) Confirmation bias causes people to only accept information that confirms their existing beliefs and reject anything contradictory.
2) People are more influenced by social approval from their peers than logic or evidence. Changing beliefs risks losing social ties.
3) Minor differences in beliefs can seem threatening, making people defensive and less open to changing their views. It is difficult to change someone's mind by directly opposing their beliefs.
The document describes the results of the StandOut assessment taken by Christina Johanna Marais. The assessment measured how well she matches 9 different roles and identified her primary role of Connector and secondary role of Provider. It provides descriptions of what each role entails and how Christina is likely to be most powerful when capitalizing on bringing people together through her network and sensitivity to others' feelings. The purpose is to help her maximize her strengths by understanding how her top two roles combine and learning ways to accelerate her performance.
The document discusses how people's perceptions and interpretations of reality influence their happiness and well-being more than objective circumstances. It argues that focusing on benefits rather than faults can lead to greater well-being, health, and longevity. The document also explores how cultivating gratitude through daily appreciation can create a growth spiral of positivity and increase life satisfaction.
This book is aimed at helping anyone seeking greater freedom in their life. The author provides practical advice for overcoming challenges like fear, guilt, unhealthy relationships, financial struggles, and more. While the book does not claim to offer psychological help, the guidance is intended to strengthen and motivate readers to transform their lives and break free from restrictions through applying the philosophies and principles discussed. The author emphasizes reading the full book sequentially to gain the proper context for understanding.
The document outlines a course on emotional intelligence and mastering relationships taught by Joseph Geraghty. It discusses setting goals for the course, developing discriminating emotional intelligence, and exercising choice as critical factors. It addresses common problems, skills for the future, and transforming one's world view through renewing the mind.
The document discusses various concepts related to peace, including that peace comes from within rather than being sought without, the importance of non-violence and compassion as exemplified by peacemakers throughout history, and how suffering exists but we can live a spiritual life and do something about suffering. It also lists "social sins" such as wealth without work, knowledge without character, and politics without principle, and quotes emphasizing living virtuously and taking action over just talking.
This document discusses various concepts related to leadership, personal development, and spirituality. It contains 3 main points:
1) Leadership is about inspiring and empowering others rather than controlling them. True leadership comes from moral authority rather than formal authority.
2) Personal growth involves moving from ego and separateness to unity with others. This includes shifting one's mindset from blame to taking responsibility.
3) Practices like gratitude, generosity, compassion, and forgiveness can help reduce stress and promote well-being. Letting go of resentment allows one to move forward in a positive manner.
The document describes a StandOut assessment that measures 9 roles and identifies a person's primary and secondary roles. These top two roles represent that person's talents and how they make an impact. The assessment helps maximize a person's strengths by showing actions they can take. It provides a report to help understand the top two roles and how they combine to reveal that person's comparative advantage.
The document describes the results of a StandOut assessment that identifies an individual's primary and secondary "Roles" based on their talents and how they show up to others. The individual assessed is identified as having a primary Role of "Pioneer" and secondary Role of "Provider." The report then provides detailed descriptions of these Roles, how they combine to reveal the individual's strengths, ideal career paths, and advice on how to maximize their performance and impact based on their Roles.
This document discusses the causes and cures for loneliness. It suggests that loneliness stems from psychological barriers like self-criticism and criticism of others that create separation. This leads people to get stuck in their own thought patterns without opening up to others. The document recommends taking an active interest in others rather than just oneself as a way to break out of isolation and make friends. It also notes that American lifestyles that prioritize shallow relationships and frequent moving can contribute to loneliness. Overall, the document explores the psychological and social factors that can lead to loneliness and offers suggestions for developing deeper connections with others.
Whether it be in your relationships at work, family, partner or friends, intimacy is the most precious and sought after experience on Earth. Download this free 38 page e-book with 36 practical exercises to help you understand and connect more with people in your everyday life.
The document describes a StandOut assessment that measures 9 roles and identifies a person's primary and secondary roles. It then provides the results of the assessment for an individual, identifying their top two roles as Advisor and Equalizer. It provides detailed descriptions of these two roles, explaining how the person is likely to operate when embodying each role.
The 5 most powerful self-beliefs that ignite human behaviorJonathan Dunnemann
These beliefs drive our underlying motives, which influence our purpose, characteristics, interests, and idiosyncratic attributes that determine who we are and what we achieve.
This document discusses the experiences that many go through after an awakening experience. While the inner state may be one of joy and happiness, the external life often gets worse with struggles in money, health and relationships. It suggests that awakening is just the beginning and that applying one's awakened state to the external world through a science of manifestation is needed to truly thrive outwardly. It identifies some common coping mechanisms used like spiritual escapism, determination and indoctrination that can prevent outward success and fulfillment.
This document provides guidance on understanding oneself through examining one's family of origin. It recommends creating a "family map" to visualize family relationships and attachment patterns over generations. Describing family members with positive and negative words can reveal one's attachment style. Knowing oneself includes understanding how family wounds influence present relationships. Self-awareness and responsibility are needed to re-create relationships in a healthy way.
The book provides insights from interviews with hundreds of top business executives on how to successfully integrate spirituality into business leadership. It discusses 12 qualities of 21st century leaders, including being a source of integrity, vision and intuition for others in the organization. The book also explains how corporate mystics address integrity lapses by quickly acknowledging mistakes, fixing broken agreements, and focusing on solutions rather than regret. Mystics face issues squarely, fully accept realities, and then work to resolve problems and create positive change.
This document provides a summary of Nathaniel Branden's book The Power of Self-Esteem. It begins with a preface that defines self-esteem as having confidence in one's ability to think and cope with life's challenges, and confidence in one's right to be happy and feel worthy. The introduction discusses the lack of information about self-esteem when Branden first started writing about it in the 1950s. It also examines different definitions of self-esteem and argues that a precise definition is important to understand this psychological concept. The document then provides a high-level overview of the contents and purpose of Branden's book.
101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think.pdfChimkaOogii1
This document provides a list of 10 things that emotionally intelligent people do not do. It begins by discussing how emotional intelligence is an undervalued trait in society, as logic and reason are often prioritized over emotions. It argues that a lack of consideration for emotions has negative consequences for leadership, relationships, and well-being. The document then states that it will provide a list of 10 habits that emotionally intelligent people do not exhibit.
(1) From an external orientation to an internal orientation
(2) Deconstruction of the false beliefs and stories we hold
(3) Feel to heal
(4) Accept our humanness
(5) Integrate our shadows (the parts we disowned)
(6) Be supported by relationships
And a list of day-to-day things we may want to do more of and less of to live a better life!
This document provides a summary of Carl Jung's theory of psychological types and energies, and how understanding differences in communication styles can help build relationships of trust. It discusses how we all have four natural energies - thinking, feeling, sensing, intuiting - from birth that influence how we perceive and interact with others. The document presents a model called Interpersonal Connection Styles that helps identify people's primary energies and how to flex your style to better connect with others despite differences. The goal is to understand others enough to build trust and allow influence, which is key to success in relationships.
This is one of my favorite slides and most helpful to practically anyone reading this! Please enjoy these words of wisdom from David Cain and check out his website blog at; http://www.raptitude.com
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”. - C.G Jung
Self-discovery is simply finding or uncovering your own individuality in order to fulfil God’s purpose for your life.
As every electronic gadget is created to meet a specific need, so likewise is every human on the surface of the earth. God has created us to fill a particular spot, to dominate it with something he has deposited in us.
That is why this e-book is packaged to take you briefly on a journey of self-discovery, and I believe that by the time you will be concluding this journey, you will have an understanding God’s original plan for you, who you are and why you are created. You will begin to manifest excellence in your life.
Enjoy!
The document discusses how unconscious emotional baggage from childhood experiences shape attitudes and behaviors in intimate relationships. Unresolved issues are repeatedly projected onto new partners, resulting in dysfunctional patterns. As the "love bubble" bursts over time, repressed feelings can emerge and old wounds are unconsciously triggered in one another. To build healthy relationships, one must gain self-awareness of their own emotional conditioning and become conscious of how their needs, fears and reactions impact their partner.
Heartfulness Magazine - December 2020 (Volume 5, Issue 12)heartfulness
Wishing you a joyous festive season and a healthy and purposeful New Year!
In the December edition, we revisit some of the most popular content from the last five years of Heartfulness Magazine, including articles and interviews by Daaji, James Doty, Anita Moorjani, Vandana Shiva, Bruce Lipton, Charles Eisentein, Michael Singer, Mary Gordon, Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, Neale Donald Walsch, Joe Dispenza, Ichak Adizes, Alanda Greene, and the artwork of Brigitte Smith.
How to start manifesting_A complete beginner to advanced guide ArchanaTejwani
The document provides guidance on how to write and use affirmations effectively. It recommends using active verbs, positive language, short and sweet phrases, present tense, and attaching strong emotion. Saying affirmations out loud with emotion, imagery and physical movement helps embed them into your subconscious mind. Precise wording that clearly defines the intended outcome maximizes the power of affirmations.
Affirmations are powerful. We sometimes make simple statements in either a positive or a negative tone, like for example, when there is something that we need to get done, we sometimes say “It’s too difficult.” That statement in itself is a negative affirmation.
This document discusses two theories of falling in love: 1) the "cocktail of love" theory which suggests falling in love is triggered by chemicals in the brain that cause tunnel vision and blindness to flaws, and 2) the "dance of wounds/needs satisfaction" theory which proposes people fall in love by unconsciously seeking partners who can satisfy unmet childhood needs and soothe wounds from their family of origin. The document also notes falling in love serves an evolutionary purpose but is different from committed love, which requires long-term work to build a healthy relationship.
My major inspiration for writing the book was to give back something to the society which I felt is necessary. Everyone is born to win and has his life is progressing he loses track of this and in due course due he is being made to change directions which lead him to the unexpected outcomes for which he is not ready.
Do you wish to live a more spiritual, holistic, and meaningful life? We have got you covered with our complete, in-depth guide to attaining self-actualization.
10 things every teenager needs to know about their parentsEsen Sandıraz
The document outlines 10 things that every teenager needs to know about their parents. It discusses how parents are not perfect but are still learning and growing, just like teenagers. It acknowledges that parents may seem uncool or out of touch at times but were once teenagers themselves. The document also emphasizes that parents truly love their children and are trying to guide them based on their own life experiences in order to help their children and prevent mistakes.
This document discusses limiting beliefs and how to eliminate them. It describes how limiting beliefs form in childhood from messages absorbed from caregivers and experiences. These beliefs reside unconsciously and influence behaviors and ability to achieve goals. The author shares experiencing a limiting belief around money after undergoing a process with an NLP trainer to uncover buried beliefs. Daily dream discussion with a partner about having already achieved goals can help replace limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs by vibrating at the frequency of the desired outcome. Burning a written description of a limiting belief and keeping a description of the desired situation can also help release limiting beliefs.
The document discusses the ancient Sumerian epic poem, The Epic of Gilgamesh. It explores how the poem reflected an obsession with fate and destiny in ancient Sumerian culture. The rediscovery of The Epic of Gilgamesh in the 19th century provided new insights into beliefs about fate and a major flood from the distant past. It also helped contextualize stories from the Hebrew Bible by sharing similarities around themes of great floods.
The document outlines 7 basic ethics for winning respect, affection, and acceptance from others. These ethics are founded on having an attitude of gratitude, taking responsibility by apologizing, acknowledging the good in others, showing affection, being polite by saying please, greeting others warmly, and maintaining a positive appearance with a smile. Practicing these simple ethics allows people to connect with others on a fundamental level and experience positive changes in their relationships and lives.
1. THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
by M. Scott Peck, M.D.
These pages are a summary of Dr. Peckʼs book that consist mostly of central
statements of the various concepts. The page numbers refer to my particular copy of
the book and may not be correct for other copies.
This summary is not meant to be a substitute for the book but an encouragement to get
one for your self. They are available on-line.
William Shaffer
2-9-10
wjshaffer@cfl.rr.com
2. SECTION I DISCIPLINE
PROBLEMS AND PAIN p 15
Life is filled with problems and pain. It takes discipline to deal with them. It is only
because of the problems that we grow mentally and physically. Many people attempt to
avoid problems and suffering instead of dealing with them. But there are tools to deal
with them.
DELAYING GRATIFICATION p 18
This means to meet necessary pain first to get it over with and then experience the
pleasure. “This is the only decent way to live.” Adolescents often donʼt get it.
SINS OF THE FATHER p 21
Some parents administer undisciplined discipline and thereby set their kids off wrong.
Good discipline requires time and love. This will make them feel worthwhile and foster
their self-discipline.
.
PROBLEM SOLVING AND TIME p 27
Take the time to develop effective solutions. Problems usually donʼt go away of their
own accord; itʼs best not to ignore them. Children often do not “grow out of it”
RESPONSIBILITY p 32
We must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it.
NEUROSES AND CHARACTER DISORDERS p 35
The neurotic assumes too much responsibility; the character disordered individual, not
enough. The neurotic says, “I ought to”, “I should”. C.D. says, “I canʼt,” “I couldnʼt.”
Big problem: to distinguish between what we are and what we are not responsible for. It
takes self examination. Parents need to help kids in this. CDʼd people make poor
parents
ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM p 39
Sometimes we refuse to take responsibility for a problem. We may give away our
power to “fate,” “society,” government, corporation or boss.
DEDICATION TO REALITY p 44
Truth is reality The more clearly we see reality, the better we are able to deal with the
world. Many people lack a good ”map” of the world because: (a) its difficult to make the
3. map or it is too small or incomplete. And the world is constantly changing. Since
changing the map to match the new situations, many people will try to destroy the new
reality.
TRANSFERENCE: THE OUTDATED MAP p46
Transference is the clinging to an outmoded view of reality and is the basis for much
mental illness. One is using a childhood way of responding to the world after having
become an adult (or assuming that all people are like your abusive or untrustworthy
parents). “Truth or reality is avoided when painful. We can revise our maps only when
we have the discipline to overcome that pain.”
OPENNESS TO CHALLENGE p 51
The process of constant self examination and contemplation is necessary for ultimate
survival. “The only way we can be certain our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the
criticism and challenge of other map-makers.” Accept--donʼt avoid challenge. We need
to accept a life of complete honesty so that the words we say and the way we say them
reflect the truth or reality as we know it. “The reason people lie is to avoid the pain of
challenge and its consequences.... Lying is an attempt to circumvent legitimate suffering
and hence is productive of mental illness.”
WITHHOLDING TRUTH p 59
“Lying can be divided into two types: white lies and black lies. A black lie is a statement
we make that we know is false.” White lies may be as destructive as black lies.“ A white
lie is a statement that in not in itself false, but leaves out a significant part of the truth.”
Parents often white-lie to their children to “protect” them, but such protection usually
amount to deprivation, in that the kids donʼt learn the necessary realities of life. And
theyʼre also deprive of the assurance that might come from an open discussion of the
“dangerous” topics. Selective withholding of insight or information may, at times, be
appropriate. A decision to withhold the truth should never by based on personal needs
but based entirely upon the needs of the person or organization from whom the truth is
withheld--and to determine what these needs are is difficult and requires genuine love.
“The energy required for self discipline and honesty is far less than the energy required
for secretiveness.”
BALANCING p 64
“The type of discipline required to discipline discipline is what I call balancing...”
For example, we need to balance how we express anger--to match the right time with
right style of expression. “Mature mental health demands...an extraordinary capacity to
flexibly strike and continually restrike a delicate balance between conflicting needs,
goals, duties, responsibilities, directions, et cetra.” You may have to give up well
established patterns of behavior to “travel very far on the journey of life.” Scott relates
the story of a chess game he had with his daughter when he was so intent to win that
he was insensitive to her needs.
4. THE HEALTHINESS OF DEPRESSION p 69
The feeling of giving up something loved is depression. ”And since mentally healthy
human beings grow and since giving up or loss of the old self is an integral part of
mental and spiritual growth, depression is a normal and basically healthy phenomenon.”
Working your way through mid-life and other crises is painful but necessary for mental
health and happiness.
RENUNCIATION AND REBIRTH p 72
The giving up of the self is vital for the growth of the human spirit. This is called
bracketing--putting oneʼs self aside--to make room for new material into the self. In other
words, one can and should put aside (bracket) preconceived ideas and emotional
distortions and welcome strangeness and novelty. “For us to develop a new and better
idea, concept, or theory of understanding, means that the old idea, concept, theory of
understanding must die.” Yes, the spiritually evolved person must suffer to arrive and
continue. “Then why desire to evolve at all, you may ask. If you ask this question,
perhaps you do not know enough of joy. Perhaps you may find an answer in the
remainder of this book; perhaps you will not.” There are no shortcut to sainthood. You
need discipline in employing these basic techniques: delaying gratification, assumption
of responsibility, dedication to the truth or reality, and balancing..
SECTION II LOVE
LOVE DEFINED p 81
Love is the force that provides motive and force for discipline. Peckʼs definition: “...the
will to extend oneʼs self for the purpose of nurturing oneʼs own or anotherʼs spiritual
growth.” Many acts that seem to be of love are not. We need to distinguish between
conscious and unconscious purposes in the mind of the lover. The act of loving helps
the lover to evolve to a higher state and our spiritual development is important for
ourselves and others. ”When we love someone our love become demonstrable or real
only through our exertion;...love is effortful. ”Love is an act of will. We chose to love.
FALLING IN “LOVE” p 84
That ”falling in love” is love is a potent misconception. It is: sex-linked and temporary, a
relief from loneliness, and a sudden collapse of ego boundaries. Falling in love is not an
act of will. When kids grow up to be adolescent, they feel constrained by the boundaries
of their flesh, the limits of their power, and societal pressures. Falling in love allows a
temporary escape. When we are attracted toward, invested in and committed to an
object outside ourselves, we “cathect” that object. And this can help us give up ego
boundaries.
THE MYTH OF ROMANTIC LOVE p 91
Some mythical elements are:
--It will last forever.
5. --The match was “predetermined in the stars”
--There is only one Mr. or Mrs “Right.”
“The myth of romantic love is a dreadful lie. Perhaps it is a necessary lie in that it
ensures the survival of the species and the seeming validation of the falling-in-love
experience that traps us into marriage.” Yet “millions of people waste vast amounts of
energy desperately and futilely attempting to make the reality of their lives conform to
the unreality of the myth.”
MORE ABOUT EGO BOUNDARIES p 94
Romantic “love” and real love both involve a going beyond our ego boundaries . The
process of investment and commitment to a person or object beyond ourselves is called
(by psychiatrists) “cathexis.” Cathecting a person or object or thing or activity gives
practice in going beyond your ego boundaries and this is helpful toward doing real love.
A mystical experience may, for a moment, free us from ego.
DEPENDENCY p 98
“The second most common misconception about love is the idea that dependency is
love. Dependency is “the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately
without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another.” “People with this
disorder, passive dependent people are so busy seeking to be loved that they have no
energy left over to love.” Passive dependent people are self-centered and lack love for
others. They envision only one effortless state of receiving care. “Passive dependency
has its genesis in lack of love.” (from the parents of the p.d. person). When p.d. people
do things for others it is to cement attachment and assure their own care. Lack of love
from the parents is the cause of p.d. in their children. P.d. may appear to be love but it
is a form of “antilove.” “It seeks to receive rather than to give.”
CATHEXIS WITHOUT LOVE p 106
Cathexis means extreme involvement to a person or object beyond ourselves.
“Sometimes, it is precisely because they are substitutes for self-development that
hobbies are so popular. Itʼs unfortunate that we say he ”loves” golf. Some mothers will
love their children until they get to be a “nuisance” (at about age 2) and then almost
totally abandon them---thereby instilling a depressive and/or passive dependent
personality pattern. Paternal instinct is not really love. “Love is judicious giving,
withholding, arguing, confronting, urging, struggling, pushing and pulling in addition to
comforting.”
“SELF SACRIFICE” p 111
“The motives behind injudicious giving and destructive nurturing are many but such
cases invariably have a basic feature in common: the ʻgiverʼ,under the guise of love, is
responding to and meeting his or her own needs without regard to the spiritual needs of
the receiver.” Peck relates the story of a minister who provided everything for his family
except thoughtful guidance. A more serious perversion of love is masochism--”in which
people unconsciously desire hurt and be hurt by each other through their non-sexual
interpersonal relations.” A woman may allow herself to be continually mistreated by her
6. husband in order to feel superior. “In the case of genuine love, the aim is always
spiritual growth. In the case of non-love the aim is always something else.”
LOVE IS NOT A FEELING P 116
Love is action, an activity, not a feeling. “The misconception that love is a feeling exist
because we confuse loving with cathecting. We may cathect an an object with or
without a spirit. “The fact that we cathect another does not mean we care about that
personʼs spiritual development. The intensity or our cathectilng has nothing to do with
wisdom or commitment.“ “Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional.”
THE WORK OF ATTENTION P 120
Moving ourselves against laziness is called work. Moving out in the face of fear is called
courage. Love is a work (or courage) directed toward the nurture of our own or
anotherʼs spiritual growth. “The principal form that love takes is attention. ”Attention is
an act will, of work, against the inertia of our own minds. The most important way in
which we can exercise attention is by listening. Here are five way one might respond to
a six-year-old:
(1)
Forbid talking.
(2)
Permit the chatter but donʼt listen to it.
(3)
Pretend to listen.
(4)
Selective listening
(5)
Full and complete attention. This requires the most energy.
You donʼt have to do #5 all the time What is required is a balance when listening to the
kids. Donʼt be deceived. What you think is # 5 listening may only be # 3. Why bother?
Your kid (s) will feel valuable, they will rise to your expectation of them; youʼll discover
truly significant stuff; and the more you know about your child, the more you will be able
to teach. Most couples never truly listen to each other. True listening will gradually
improve with practice but it never becomes effortless. While listening is the most
important form of attention, there are others: game playing with children, family
activities, chauffeuring, etc.
THE RISK OF LOSS P 131
Peck relates the story of that reclusive church-goer who sits in the back pew and leaves
even before the minister can greet his flock at the exit. She is afraid to extend herself to
meet and interact with people. “If you move out to another human being, there is always
the risk that that person will move away from you, leaving you more painfully alone than
you were before.” If someone is unwilling to risk pain, that person must do without many
things, like getting married, having children, etc. A full life will be full of pain--and joy as
reward. “The attempt to avoid legitimate suffering lies at the root of all emotional illness.”
THE RISK OF INDEPENDENCE P 134
“Growing up is the act of stepping from childhood into adulthood. Actually, it is more of
a fearful leap than a step, and it is a leap that many people never really take in their
lifetimes. Peck tells the story of his own leap. Obviously, he survived--because of the
excellent parenting he had received. Many never take the leap and remain “children” of
7. their parents--even when their parents are long dead and buried. These leaps are acts
of self love, which provides the motive and courage. “It is only when one has taken the
step into the unknown of total selfhood, psychological independence, and unique
individuality that one is free to proceed along still higher paths of spiritual growth and
free to manifest love in its greatest dimensions.”
THE RISK OF COMMITMENT P 140
“Whether it be shallow or not, commitment is the foundation, the bedrock of any
genuinely loving relationship. Deep commitment does not guarantee the success of the
relationship but does help more than any other factor to assure it.”
Character
disordered people seem to lack the capacity to form commitment; neurotics are
frequently paralyzed by the fear of it. Peck relates the story of Rachel, who, because of
poor parenting, was unable to “let go.” After several years of therapy (commitment from
Peck) she came to realize that she might safely release at least parts of her being to
become joyful and light-hearted. “It is impossible to truly understand another without
truly making room for that person within your self. This making room... requires an
extension and therefore a changing of the self.” Parents should be able to change to
adjust to their growing (adolescent) children.
THE RISK OF CONFRONTATION p 150
“...Possibly the greatest risk of love is the risk of exercising power with humility. The
most common example of this is the act of loving confrontation.” Impulsive criticism and
confrontation, “usually made in anger or annoyance, does more to increase the amount
of confusion in the world than the amount of enlightenment.” Those who truly love must
ask themselves “Am I being self-serving in believing that my beloved needs
redirection?” Although one shouldnʼt confront impulsively, “to fail to confront when
confrontation is required for spiritual growth represents a failure to love...” “Mutual
loving confrontation is a significant part of all successful and meaningful human
relationships.” Parents need to decide whatʼs best for their kids--confrontation or praise
or increase attention or story telling or some other form of influence. With confrontation
you are attempting to exert your will upon the world, that is playing God. Yet with “
humility and love, humans can dare to be God.”
LOVE IS DISCIPLINED P155
We need to learn to manage our feelings (self-discipline).”If we are fortunate enough to
be in a position in which many people ask for our attention, we must chose among them
whom we are actually to love....Many factors need to be considered. primarily the
capacity of a prospective recipient to respond to that love with spiritual growth.” Some
people can love not only family but other outside their family. But great self-discipline is
required to avoid “spreading oneself too thin.” Yet, “genuine love is self-replenishing.
The more I nourish spiritual growth in others, the more my own spiritual growth is
nurtured.”
LOVE IS SEPARATENESS P160
“A major characteristic of genuine love is that the distinction between oneself and
another is always maintained and preserved....In its most extreme form the failure to
8. perceive the separateness of the other is called narcissism...Since they donʼt perceive
others as others, but only as extensions of themselves, narcissistic individuals lack the
capacity for empathy, which is the capacity to feel what another is feeling. This lack of
separateness can interfere with parenting and with marriage. It is the separateness of
the partners that enriches the union...”sacrifices” on behalf of the growth of the other
result in equal or greater growth of the self.” Marriage should be “a truly cooperative
institution, requiring great mutual contributions and care,time and energy but existing for
the primary purpose of nurturing each of the participants for individual journeys toward
his or her own individual peaks of spiritual growth.” “Genuine love not only respects the
individuality of the other but actually seeks to cultivate it, even at the risk of separation
or loss.” From Kahil Gibran, in The Prophet:
Let there be spaces in your togetherness
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you
Love one another but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls
Fill each otherʼs cup but drink not from one cup
Give one another your bread but eat not from the same loaf
LOVE AND PSYCHOTHERAPY P 169
“ It is necessary to be honest in therapy at all times and to go out on a limb to truly
involve oneself on an emotional level in the relationship, to actually struggle with the
patient and with oneself.” True love between patient and therapist is normal and helpful.
“For the most part, mental illness is caused by an absence of or defect in the love that a
particular child required from its particular parents...” and so the the therapist should
supply some of that missing love. But “in-love”-ness and sex are no-nos. You can, with
maturity, even practice psychotherapy with oneʼs family.
THE MYSTERY OF LOVE P 180
How us it that some individuals transcend a poor childhood to become mature and
healthy? And that some fail to respond to even expert therapy? “Clearly, there are
dimensions of love that have not been discussed and are the most difficult to
understand.”
SECTION III GROWTH AND RELIGION
WORLD VIEWS AND RELIGION p 185
“...No matter how limited or primitive or inaccurate--everyone has a religion. This fact,
not widely recognized, is of the utmost importance: everyone has a religion.” (or world
view) We tend to define religion too narrowly. “But the fact of the matter is that everyone
has an implicit or explicit set of ideas and beliefs as to the essential nature of the world.”
“Usually a personʼs religion or world view is at best only incompletely conscious.” “What
we learn about the nature of the world when we are growing up is determined by the
actual nature of our experience in the microcosm of the family.” “But the most important
factor in the development of the religion of most people is their culture...We tend to
9. believe what people around us believe.” The most important part of our culture is our
particular family. “...Most of us are not fully aware of our own world views, and much
less the uniqueness of the experience from which they are derived.”
THE RELIGION OF SCIENCE P193
“The road to spiritual growth...lies in distrusting what we already believe, by actively
seeking the threatening and unfamiliar, by deliberately challenging the validity of what
we have previously been taught and hold dear. The path to holiness lies through
questioning everything.” “There is no such thing as a good hand-me-down religion.”
By science, Peck means that our beliefs should be grounded on trusted repeatable
experience that can be verified by other people.
THE CASE OF KATHY P197
Peck relates the case of Kathy, a young woman who was so terrified that God might
punish her for sins, that she had developed a system of chanting abbreviated prayers.
This derived from narrow and misguided mothering and unsophisticated views of what
the Catholic Church considered sin and what to do about it. It took several years of
therapy to get Kathy to think for herself and become a fully functional woman.
THE CASE OF MARCIA P 209
Marcia was a “poor little rich girlʼ whose life was completely joyless. She professed
being a strident atheist Yet, with therapeutic help,”the concept of God began to assume
increased influence.”
THE CASE OF THEODORE P 210
Ted had been living as a hermit for several years--unable to make any significant
decisions. Although he had an ordinary childhood in a stable, well-to-do home, he got
ʻmessed up” after several disappointing love affairs when he was entering college
and,also, a few months later. He had a lack of enthusiasm. It was revealed that his best
friend had died. Although, in earlier years, he had been active in the church, these
events evidently triggered a rejection of God. It was revealed that in Tedʼs younger
years, he had been picked on by two older brothers (without parental intervention).
“All life seemed a maelstrom of death and suffering, danger and savagery.” Ted, with
Peckʼs help, overcame his neurosis and went to divinity school and used his whole
name, Theodore, which means lover of God.
THE BABY AND THE BATH WATER P 221
“In their desire for simple solutions, scientists are prone to fall into two traps as they
question the reality of God. The first is to throw the baby out with the bath water. And
the second is tunnel vision.” Some of the dirty water is: holy wars, inquisition, animal
sacrifice, human sacrifice, superstition, stultification, dogmatism, ignorance, hypocrisy,
self-righteousness, rigidity, cruelty, book-burning, witch-burning, inhibition, fear,
conformity, morbid guilt, insanity. etc.” Yet scientists, themselves may be immature and
dogmatic. Peck suggests that it is possible to “mature into a belief in God.” “There is
reason to believe that behind spurious notions and false concepts of God, there lies a
reality that is God.”
10. SCIENTIFIC TUNNEL VISION P 225
This probably results from the notion that pertinent fact must be measurable. Things
not easily studied do not merit study. In recent decades, however, technology has
helped to expand the range of scientific study. “The other development that is assisting
us escape from scientific tunnel vision is the relatively recently discovery by science of
the reality of paradox. for example, is light a wave and a particle at the same time? The
unification of science and religion is beginning. Peck states that his work with patients,
at times seems to be “remarkably assisted in ways for which I had no logical
explanation--that is, ways that were miraculous.” Peck cites a work by Stark and
Washburn in which the miraculous is described not as extraordinary phenomena but as
a way of perception of the world, ie,”paying full and close attention to the givens of life.”
Peck urges caution. “This interface between science and religion can be shaky.”
SECTION IV GRACE
THE MIRACLE OF HEALTH P 235
“What follows will demonstrate grace to be a common phenomenon and, to a certain
extent, a predictable one but the reality of grace will remain unexplainable within the
conceptual framework of science and “natural law” as we understand it. It will remain
miraculous and amazing.” Peck is aware of many cases of mental and physical health
that are so much better than expected they could be called miraculous. ”There is a
force, the mechanism of which we do not fully understand, that seems to operate
routinely in most people to protect and encourage their physical health even under the
most adverse conditions.”
THE MIRACLE OF THE UNCONSCIOUS P
243
The conscious mind is only a small part of the mind. The rest (some 95 percent) is
unconscious. Dreams reveal the unconscious and therefore help psychotherapists with
their work. And, the unconscious may communicate with us when we are awake. For
example, idle thoughts. “Freud and his followers tended to perceive the unconscious a
a repository of the primitive, the antisocial, and the evil within us.” Jung, helped to
correct this contention with the phrase: “The wisdom of the unconscious.” Peck has
found that many with mental illness are that way because they repressed unconscious
feelings in order to avoid the pain of dealing with them. Sometimes the unconscious
sneaks out with a “Freudian slip.”
THE MIRACLE OF SERENDIPITY P 253
“The fact that highly implausible events, for which no cause can be determined within
the framework of known natural law, occur with implausible frequency has come to be
known as the principle of synchronicity.” Peck relates the story of his serendipitous stop
on a mountain curve to avoid a terrible crash. There are freak accidents and well a freak
non-accidents, but these, says Peck, are in the minority.
11. THE DEFINITION OF GRACE P 260
There seems to be a powerful force, “originating outside of of human consciousness
that nurtures the spiritual growth of human beings.” It, perhaps, is responsible for
phenomena with the following characteristics: they support and enhance human life and
spiritual growth; their mechanism is obscure or paranormal; their occurrence is frequent;
their origin is outside of conscious will. This is grace. Does it come from God?
THE MIRACLE OF EVOLUTION P 263
“Spiritual growth is the evolution of an individual.... Our lifetime offers us unlimited
opportunities foe spiritual growth until the end.” Evolution (spiritual or physical) is
miraculous. The second law of thermodynamics states that energy goes from greater to
lesser states of organization. The end of this winding down or measure of disorder
has been termed entropy. But there seems to be a process (evolution) that works
against entropy in that animals and humans, over time, develop more complex physical
and mental systems.--thus defying the “natural law.” Regarding spiritual evolution, Peck
says: “There is a force that somehow forces us to chose the more difficult path whereby
we can transcend the mire and muck into which we are so often born.” Although human
behavior seems “bad” today, in generations past such “bad” was acceptable. We have,
through love, evolved. A miracle!
THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA (the Beginning and the End) P 268
Where does love come from? Or grace? We cannot answer these question with
present-day science. We may answer, however, by affirming the existence of a loving
God. What does God want of us? “God wants us to become Himself (or Herself or
Itself). We humans do not want to work that hard. But “growing toward Godhood is the
goal of evolution.” “The idea that God is actively nurturing us so that we might grow up
to be like Him brings us face to face with our own laziness.”
ENTROPY AND ORIGINAL SIN P271
If we overcome laziness, other impediments to spiritual growth will be
overcome. .”Laziness if the force of entropy as it manifests itself in the lives of all of us.”
“Our failure to conduct --or to conduct fully and wholeheartedly--this internal debate
between good and evil is the cause of those evil actions that constitute sin.” Human
beings “fail to consult the God within them, the knowledge of rightness which inherently
resides within the minds of all mankind.” This failure to listen to the God within Peck
calls laziness or original sin. a force of entropy. It may take the form of fear of having to
change and make adjustments. “Those who are in the advanced stages of spiritual
growth are the very ones most aware of their own laziness.”
THE PROBLEM OF EVIL P 277
Peck states the four conclusions he has reached regarding the nature of evil.
(1) Evil is real. There are people and institutions...who respond with hatred in the
12. presence of goodness...”
(2) “Evil people hate goodness because it reveals their badness.” “Ordinary laziness if
non-love; evil is anti-love.” “Evil is laziness carried to its ultimate, extraordinary
extreme.”
(3) “MY third conclusion is that evil is inevitable, at least at this stage in human
evolution.
(4) “I have come to conclude that while entropy is an enormous force, in its most
extreme form of human evil, it is strangely ineffective as a social force.”
Most of us are so horrified by evil that we attempt to purify ourselves and others.
“Our personal involvement in the fight against the evil in the world is one of the
ways we grow.”
THE EVOLUTION OF CONSCIOUSNESS P 280
Spiritual growth is the growth or evolution of consciousness. “The development of
consciousness is the development of awareness in our conscious mind of knowledge
along with our unconscious mind, which already possesses that knowledge.” In other
words, we come to know consciously what we already “know” unconsciously. ”But we
still have not explained how it is that the unconscious possesses all this knowledge
which we have not yet consciously learned.” Possible answer: “The unconscious is God
within us”. This is the same as the Christian concept of the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit.
“It is because our conscious self resists our unconscious wisdom that we become ill.”
THE NATURE OF POWER P 285
There are two kinds of power: political and spiritual. “Political power is the capacity to
coerce others, overtly or covertly, to do oneʼs will.” It derives from a personʼs position
and not from the person. The capacity of spiritual power is the “capacity to make
decisions with maximum awareness. Most people most of the time make decisions with
little awareness of what they are doing.” But, with spiritual maturity, we can. ”We can
come to power.” Those who have “succeeded in coming into alignment with the mind of
God” have a joyful humility. “The experience of spiritual power is also terrifying.” Our
greater awareness may involve us in complex decision-making situations. Those with
spiritual power can make those decisions wisely and with awareness and not shrink
from the job. Another problem with spiritual power is aloneness (not loneliness).
Politically powerful people have their cronies; spiritually powerful people “will likely have
no one in his or her circle of acquaintances with whom to share such depth of
understanding.”
GRACE AND MENTAL ILLNESS: THE MYTH OF ORESTES P 289
All of us employ defense mechanism to limit our awareness of unpleasantries. The
unconscious may, however, attempt to wake us up through bad dreams, anxiety attacks,
depressions, and other symptoms. This attempt of the unconscious to wake us up, Peck
call “grace, a gift of God.” Peck relates the story of Betsy, whose anxiety attacks
prompted her to get help--which she did through Peck. Sadly, most people reject this
gift. Orestes, in the myth, takes responsibility for murdering his mother--even though
Apollo was willing to take the blame. Eventually,Orestes was relieved of the curse.
13. psychotherapists would like us to be like Orestes and take responsibility for our mental
illness.
RESISTANCE TO GRACE P 297
Why do so few people chose the path of spiritual growth? Typical pattern:
Psychotics come from parental deprivation in early childhood (first nine months)
Neurotics received poor parenting between the ages of two and five.
Character-disordered. [not clear how or when] Some types are more difficult to heal
than others. In any case the individual must have “the will to grow” in order to regain
mental health. Lack of this will to grow is lack of love--or resistance to grace. Why?
Laziness! --”the original sin of entropy with which we all have been cursed. ”The call to
grace is a call to a life of effortful caring, to a life of service and whatever sacrifice
seems required.”...”It is a call to total adulthood.”
THE WELCOMING OF GRACE P 306
Some who experience the new life of grace do not feel that they have earned it. “Those
who are closest to grace are the most aware of the mysterious character of the gift they
have been given.” And this awareness will give them a surer sense of direction and
provide encouragement. “The paradox that we both choose grace and are chosen by
grace is the essence of the phenomenon of serendipity...the gift of finding valuable or
agreeable things not sought for.” “While the words of the prophets and the assistance
of grace are available, the journey must still be traveled alone--”and it is so lonely and
difficult that we often become discouraged.” Yet,”once we perceive the reality of grace,
our understanding of ourselves as meaningless and insignificant is shattered.”
AFTERWORD P 312
Peck relates comments and questions from some readers of a prior edition of this book.
Some questioned the efficacy of psychotherapy. Many, however, contributed letters and
other things that were enriching. If you think you need a therapist, donʼt hesitate to
shop around. Do trust your feelings and intuitions. Is he or she genuinely caring? Ask
the the therapistʼs take on issues that are important to you. Word of mouth is a good
way to get started in your search. Government or hospital supported clinics are
available for those who need financial help.