1) Melvin has struggled with his weight and lack of confidence since primary school. He joined BB at his mother's suggestion but finds it difficult to fit in and lead others. He feels trapped because he has no one to confide in about how he feels. 2) Chris was used to being a natural leader but was surprised when he did not receive the promotions he expected. While others may not know how upset he is, the missed promotions damaged his self-image and confidence. 3) Both boys would benefit from focusing on their own values and maintaining a positive self-image, instead of basing their worth on external factors like promotions or what others think. Learning to set boundaries and care for themselves can

1. OHT4.1
Discussion Scenario
You are on a cruise, enjoying yourself with your friends and family. While out at sea, you
encountered a storm which killed the crew on board the ship. Then the ship begins to leak and sink.
You have to abandon ship. There is only 1 lifeboat which only you know how to operate. Your boat
is equipped to transport only 4 persons including you. In view of the harsh situation, the 5 persons
who are left behind will not survive.
Profiles of Passengers:
1) Retiree, age 68, enjoying life
2) Man, age 20, borderline IQ, hardworking
3) Factory operator, age 50, mother of 4 children cannot swim
4) Wife beater, 40s, strong loudmouth and vulgar
5) Wife of wife beater, mid 30s, gentle and scared
6) Airforce pilot, age 30, recently married
7) Wheel chair bound 12 year old boy
8) 3 year old girl, cannot swim
9) Ex-drug addict, divorced with 2 children
10)Lady in early 20s studying in the university.

2. Who do you want to save? Who do you want to leave behind? Rank your choices
and give
reasons for your choices.
OHT4.2
VALUES
Identify the qualities that you think are important to you now.
Circle as many as you can.
friendship loyalty good listener
warmth caring humour
truthfulness helpfulness kind
being supportive good presentation sensitivity
not too serious generosity directness
loving big heart education
humane good sense of fun serenity
compassionate intuitive forgiveness

3. status money caring for others
travel quality of life valuing time
trust peace caring for the environment
OHT4.3
SELF IMAGE
(the picture you have in your head about yourself)
 Maintain this positive image in your mind because this is a winning image
of yourself!
 By being gracious to others, like saying thank you, please and
excuse. It gives people a positive image of yourself.
 By not speaking badly about others because it would be a reflection

4. of your own self-image and self-esteem.
Can you think of 2 more examples to add to the list?
OHT4.4
SELF ESTEEM
(how you feel about yourself)
 Check them if you agree
 Positive thoughts about yourself gives you more energy in life to achieve
what you want.
 Negative thoughts about yourself hold you back in getting what you want

5. in life.
 Believing in your own unique quality and values.
 Be willing to make mistakes and learn from them. You don’t have to be
100% perfect. Just be the best you can be.
OHT 4.5
Reflect for a minute
What values are you holding when you treat yourself well?

6. OHT 4.6
HOW TO ADD VALUE TO YOURSELF
(√ Check the pointers when you agree with them )
 Like yourself and care for yourself so others will care for you.

7.  Say ‘no’ whenever it feels right. Some experiences are not healthy for
you
 Listen to your own feelings first. Set clear boundaries for yourself
and what you will and won’t do
 Set time for yourself away from your relationships.
OHT4.7
Case Study 1
Melvin has always grappled with his weight problem since Primary School. He
didn’t just eat because he was stressed. He ate because he enjoyed food. Since

8. he was not really disagreeable to his mother’s suggestion of joining the BB
because of its physical activities, he simply signed up.
From Day One, he discovered that while the activities were all right, he didn’t
really fit in. He wasn’t confident when asked to lead the rest, and he seemed
always to have too many questions which the others felt were ‘dumb’. In
addition, he always felt like he was the odd one out. Melvin feels trapped
because he doesn’t really have anyone to confide in. Even if he did, where
would he start?
How can you advise Melvin not to feel less trapped? Has it to do with the
self-image and self-esteem that he has of himself? What about his values?
OHT4.8
Case Study 2
Chris was always the natural leader in any group he was in. He was always the
first one others looked to, to take leadership. Similarly, his first year in BB was

9. a breeze and he knew that promotions were going to be swift and sure. He
was proved correct when it came to the PTE-LCP promotions that year.
However, his confidence took a beating when he was not made CPL, and he
was not even made assistant squad leader. Both developments were not what
he had anticipated. While the Officer did say that any Boy who felt the
promotions were unfair could go to see them, he did not want to because
then others might accuse him of being too presumptuous and arrogant.
Nobody really knew how badly he took these “setbacks”, nor would they
understand.
What values does Chris hold? What happened to his self-image
when he was not chosen? What can he do?