1. Oh my goodness, it’s been over a week! But I think I’m allowed, I was shooting SoaL things so hopefully you’ll forgive me ..Then I got cross with pose boxes again, and I get to return to my pose and plot free OWBC, hurray! So, just is case you’ve forgotten – Evil Susan is in Riverblossom Hills and doesn't think much of it, especially now that she’s had to get married and produce a bunch of spawn she doesn’t want. Such as:
2. Burns My Eyes, one of the twins and the only girl – and a far too nice and sensible Popularity Sim.
3. Her brother Blight On My Existence, a meanie Family Sim who’s actually a totally sweetie, and the completely lovely ‘Orrible who’s currently enjoying being swung to his death, who’s the youngest and Big Nut-ting it up for me. Wheee!
4. Mm, and oh yeah – Occult Demon Child, the Bad Apple. Who’s a bit of a pain and loves to nearly kill himself though guitar-based starvation. It wasn’t long before I got too cross and stashed this thing in ES’s inventory, grr.
5. But apparently it doesn’t take much for Evil Susan to get cross at such things well. Or um, other things. *BANG BANG EVIL BANG*
6. “ Muh? Wassat? Door? This is my computer dressing gown, can’t they tell that that means leave me alooooone.. Oh well, it could be that nice plant woman come to deliver my vegbox..”
7. “ Oh.” “ Hii-i bestest buddy of all buddies Gin!” “ Evil Susan. Morning.” “ Say friend, you wouldn’t mind opening these rather large bars you have here for me would ya? Old buddy old pal? I think it’s high time we had a chat!” “ ..What kind of chat?” “ Yoooou know silly, a friendly one! What other kind is there?” “ Hmm, fine. But let me go and make some coffee first, I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those rare times were herbal tea isn’t quite going to cut it.”
8. “ It’s no Twinnings, but this Riverblossom stuff isn’t half bad! Have you tried it ES?” “ No. Oddly not.” “ Aww, you should! Embrace the local culture and all that! Besides, none of us can be too careful these days and it’s wise to invest in a coffee maker, what with all these reports of a mysterious red-head wantonly stealing kettles all over the place.”
9. “ Ah, not that’s better! Now what did you want Evil Susan? And no lies.” “ Whatever, I couldn’t give a canary. I did what you asked, I popped out yet another disgusting little worm.” “ Aww, I know! ‘Orrible’s such a little sweetie.” “ It’s appalling, that one’s the worst of the lot. At least that’s it right? I’m done? I can leave them and that disaster of a husband behind? I want to go home Gin, HOME. Put me out of my misery already.” “ You sure?” “ Of course I bloody well am! I’m Evil Susan!”
10. “ Well then Evil Susan – it’s time to get old.” “ Excuse me?” “ Old. Elderly. Ancient. Past your sell by date. At one with the dinosaurs. Crustify ‘o clock.” “ I don’t do those things.” “ Well ES, you’re going to have to.”
11. “ No no no NO! I’m not old, I’m Evil Susan and I’m not having anything to do with any of that. I don’t age. That was not part of the deal, or any deal I’m ever going to make!” “ You kind of have no choice.” “ Aaaaaargh! I’m starting to think you’re not actually going to ever let me out of this nightmare.”
12. “ Don’t worry, I will. I like this place, but it’s no Strangetown and is distinctly lacking in the tall dark and angsty. Now you need to go away and age for me.” “ Granddad would never stand for this! EITHER or them!” “ Well they ain’t here. Now go home and enjoy your Birthday, you family’s probably missing you.”
13. And were they? Pfft. Were they heck. Blight’s quite happy on his little gamey doo-dah, and too be honest I’m very surprised he hasn’t maxed his enthusiasm out already.
15. And Occult – oh hey! So those are your everyday clothes! I wasn’t aware you ever got out of your jammies and showered. “ Yeah well, times a must. Speaking of. I’m hungry.” Hm?
16. NO NO NO NOOOOO! Quick, someone distract him and save my bonus! Huuuuurrry..
17. “ Now son, I’ve told you before – don’t you go rustling about in the fridge, wait for someone else to feed you.” “ Why?” “ Because you can’t be trusted. Red hands?” “ ..Fine.”
18. But he seems to have taken it all within his stride, and Occult spend the rest of the day paying penance by scrubbing the kitchen. Good boy. Now repeat, AWAY from the fridge, AWAY!
19. Poor little ‘Orrible is once again sent out to the garden on Bug Nut duty, dear little mite. Ooh, have you got a mite yet? “ Getting there, promise!” Ah, child labour in the dead of night amongst a garden of flamingos.. Doncha just love OWBCs?
20. Oh now deary, I don’t think that’s quite ready to drive yet. “ Lies. Brooom! BROOOOOOOM!” Yes dear.
21. “ ES, are you sure you can do this? I mean – you’re Evil Susan!” “ Oh, and don’t I know it Lump Face. But Evil Susan I may be, I guess I’m alright. Dad’s all old, and he still kicks ass.” “ I’m sure he’d agree, if I had any idea who he was.” “ Damn straight he would! And yeah, it sucks big time he isn’t here. But I kind of think he wouldn’t have minded it as much. Bleh, the thought of this place still just makes me shudder.”
22. “ Can’t it be me who makes you shudder, oh fellow hater of the plants?” “ Later Ridiculous One, go tend to the brats or something, apparently some one still has to and it sure as heck isn’t going to be me.” “ Aww, must I?” “ YES. OBEY. Apparently I have shuddering of yet another kind to content with.”
24. “ And hello Evil Elderdom. ..Hang on. WHAT?!” BWAHAHA! You know what? I think I’m going to make you keep that, hehe.
25. “ Drat and blast it. Oh whatever, I’m still Evil Susan and no one’s going to mess with me. YOU! Idiot! You still here?” “ Yup.” “ Good, you still remember how to do the Naked Dance of Evil I take it?”
26. “ Waa, that’s so not fair! How’d you keep winning?!” “ Calm down, calm down.. I’ll let you win the next one okay? C’mon Occult, there’s no need to get upset!” “ I don’t want your charity! I want to wiiiiiin.” “ Okay, then do you want to play another game? I came up with this really fun one the other day I can’t wait to show you!” “ No! I shouldn’t be playing with stupid little boys anyway..”
27. So instead he decided to join in with Blight and Burns friends, while the twins hit each other with fish. “ Hey guys, you wanna-” “ For fruit tree’s sake Occult! NO, just bugger off. I do NOT want to sit next to you in class, I do NOT want to sniff your coat and I do NOT want to sit on your knee!” “ Whatever.”
28. “ Hey Burns! How about a dance? You like to dance, I like to dance, pretty funky hey?” “ Erm.. No thanks. We’re pretty beat actually, just going to say goodbye and then head to bed.” “ Fine..”
29. “ Hey Blight! Oh.” “ *snoooooooore*” “ You’re all so boring ! I have better things to do anyway.” Finally, Occult decides it’s a good idea to stop stalking everyone and headed downstairs. So..
30. “ PARTY!” .. I like to think that’s how it went anyway >:D
31. Oh for foodles sake, no! Not again! “ No one wants to play with me, and I’m still hungry!” But, but, everyone’s in bed now! Heeeelp..
32. “ Now DON’T you dare do that again, you hear?!” “ ..Yes Mum.” Oh thank fishness for mental elder sleeping patterns! Evil Susan, you still rule. Not that that was ever in any doubt of course.
33. “ Now isn’t that better, you useless lump of SimDNA? Cheese cheese and nothing but CHEESE. Got it memorised?” “ Yay attention!” “ Don’t worry, it won’t be happening again.” Another close shave averted, phewsies.
34. Maybe it was that near toaster pastry experience, or the sight of his elderly mother in such attrite haunting his dream, but in the morning little ‘Orrible wakes up with the most terrified smustle face I have ever seen! “ Something’s wrong, even dancing just can’t it out of my head! Tell me neither really happened?” Go cheer yourself up kid.
35. “ Hey Tramp?” “ AWK, the gnome’s still here, the gnome’s still here!” “ Cool, that’s good to know. But you see everything that goes on, Mum didn’t really get all old and creepy did she?” “ AWK, always been creepy. AWK, she twirly riiight over there AWK” “ No, I think she’s Evil – apparently you shouldn’t confuse the two Dad said. But.. Over there? I.. Think I’ll go back upstairs. Thanks Tramp!” “ AWK, gnome’s still here!”
36. “ Cheer up squirt! You’ll be big too soon, then I promise Mum’ll look less freaky! Most girls will actually. Hey, she can’t look as bad as Occult when he’s been playing the guitar for ten hours straight!” “ Heheh, thanks Blight. And when I’m big, I can play BIG games with you can’t I? But girls will always look silly.” “ We’ll see squirt. Now let’s escape the creepy monster and go to school, eh? Whaddya say?” “ OKAY!”
37. Oh for.. ES! “ What? Like I was going to co-operate with my colleagues when I could have just gone with my own ideas – I’m Evil Susan! I only got demoted anyway, don’t make such a drama.” Sigh, you may only have until ‘Orrible goes to college to get your LTW done so – HURRY UP.
38. As you may have noticed behind ES, the junker is finished! So I can tick that point off! It was pretty much a joint job between her and Blight, so thank you guys “ So.. You like my car?” “ We-ell..” “ I’m the only guy in school with one, you know.” “ That’s because cars are such terrible drains on the environment, all that fuel they use and ew – the fumes the chuck out! They’re disgusting. Blight.. I don’t appreciate your lack of respect for the planet. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” “ ..Oh.”
39. “ Oh my goodness. What is this ? Oh no, ES is going to go mad..” Um, I can explain!
40. “ Squashed Face! I need you to- *gasp* What the hell is that?!” “ Evil Susan, I don-” “ As if it hadn’t been a bad enough day. Oh Stupid Name, you are in so much trouble. And not the Evil kind.” Guys!
41. “ I didn’t have anything to do with this ES!” “ Don’t give me that, you’re one of them ! Argh, I knew you were just a fraud – you’re a cabbage caresser just like the rest of them.” “ I am not! I’m like you!” “ Lies. I do not want this filth in the middle of my lawn. Just because I’m old doesn’t mean you can suddenly bring crap like this out!” HEY!
42. “ This is Riverblossom EVIL, and it is a threat upon my Evil.” “ I know! I’d never get in the way of your Evil.” “ A likely story, you avocado admirer. I can’t stand all this nature trash, and now look at my dress – this place is infiltrating us Lump Face, and I will not stand for it. NOW GET RID OF IT.” “ I DIDN’T PUT IT HERE.” But- Oh, what’s the use.. Neither backing down, Evil Susan and Shea’s argument lasted long into the evening,
43. ..Much to poor Blight’s woe. Poor boy, he didn’t even trust the punching bag to protect him if they came to blows.
44. “ Okay Silly Name, I didn’t put it here.” “ And neither did I.” “ Then someone must have. You know, this is just the spiteful kind of thing Gin would do to me. Claim it’s for my ‘benefit’ or some tosh like that.” “ Sounds like it. Don’t worry ES, we’ll get it bulldozed.”
45. “ I knew there was a reason you’re here, Lump Head!” “ Uh.. Guys? Would you mind not doing that over my new garden?” “ Shut up child.” Yes my dears, it is ‘Orrible’s garden. Since it’s not his predestined hobby (I’ve now found that fitness it, even though I thought that was for mean sims but whatever) I really need to raise his enthusiasm to be able to catch all the bugs. So – garden! Sorry ES, you’re just going to have to live with it.
46. Hello, what’s this? I was a bit confused on hearing the hobby ‘schwooooom’ as no one’s maxed theirs yet but apparently it’s all in a days work for a Bad Apple! Since the guitar got taken away, Occult’s been stuck to Burns’ ballet bar and as I got a popup telling me he’s predestined Music & Dance.. Well done him I guess! Now, if only he’s take a shower.
47. “ HERE! Have the world’s largest energy saving light bulb!!!1123342!!!!!” Right, I think there’s only one safe thing to do to stop ES from decapitating the teen population of Riverblossom. Twins! Pack you bags!
48. “ Hey Blight? Er, you pack any clothes that aren’t PJs? .. Never mind then, I’m sure we’ll find some on the way. Eee, I’m super excited about college!” Goodbye lovies, catch up with you at SSU soooooon.
49. “ So now blond and blonder have gone, can I be your best friend now ‘Orrible?” “ Yeah, I guess so. Aww, I miss them already! Dad, can we go to college too?” “ Not quite yet I’m afraid. Now eat your breakfast cheese.” “ Okay. Um, can you guys smell something burning?”
50. “ OH MY GOODNESS, OUR ONLY TREE! Quick, quick! It might fall on my garden, and I don’t want to hurt the little plants! Or butterflies – it’s not their fault it’s on fire! SOMEONE HEEEELP!”
51. “ Hello? Yes, please hurry! My youngest son has become oddly concerned with nature! Yes yes, it’s an emergency! .. Oh, and the garden’s on fire too.”
52. “ Don’t let anything get hurt Mr or Mrs Fireman-lady!” “ Never fear child, all life is sacred – especially such a magnificent beast of a tree like this. No harm shall befall this mighty plant. You run inside and comfort your family, they must be distraught from such a threat to the wildlife.” “ Um.. Maybe I won’t put it quite like that. But thank you man-lady!”
53. “ And my work is done – Riverblossom’s forests are once again safe thanks to me.” Erm. Excuse me? “ MY WORK IS DONE.”
54. “ LA LA LA no fire here!” Erm. Anyway, that is how we acquired the ever-burning tree! Evil Susan considers this a good omen.
55. “ Sparklies woke me up from sleeping in your bed in my underwear, that’s funny Dad! Ehehe, can I play with one?” “ Hand on Occult, this won’t take a minute..”
56. “ Oooh, confetti..” “ Well, that wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting! Hopefully ES still won’t mind doing the odd dance now and again. And not begrudge my sensible clothes too much.” Aww, I should think not Shea! Very well aged. As he’s already perma-plat I’m sure he’ll still be around the help me out for a long time to come *pats* Now, we have yet another birthday to attend to.
57. “ Hang on son, I’m coming!” “ Hurry up Dad, you’re going to miss it – the sparklies have already started!” Ever-burning tree: *burn burn burn*
58. “ Oh it is so time for big boys games now!” Just be careful what games dear, for ‘Orrible has rolled Romance! I’m sure he won’t have any problems there
59. “ I’m here, I’m here! +500 for being here!” Just to remind you ‘Orrible is 4 10 1 7 8 (though the laziness has been encouraged up a bit now. WHY is his hobby fitness?!) and his lifetime want is to be a Celebrity Chef.. Of grilled cheese sandwiches? Anyway, you’re not Arvi so that puffed vest will never do. To Harvester & Mulch!
60. “ Ew, you’re a Nightmare?! I’ve heard you do all kinds of icky things with non-vegan cheese and have been accused of arson crimes against nature! No I do NOT want to go on a date with you.” “ Urgh, why does this keep happening? I thought Mum was joking when she said the girls here would be as welcoming to my face as a sandwich would be to tomatoes.” “ Don’t hurt the tomatoes, you fiend!”
61. “ Hey there! I was wondering if you had a book on gardening tips or anything, I have a feeling I’m going to need to brush up on my knowledge.” “ What? No, we don’t carry things like that. Weren’t you born with an innate knowledge of produce like the rest of us? No one needs books when the earth itself can teach us all we need to know!” “ Um, no I wasn’t. Things like that don’t happen at my house.” “ Well what does happen at your house then?”
62. “ Oh you know, just the usual. Same as everyone.. Hey, wanna come back and see?” For some reason best known to herself the cashier declined, and after only securing the attentions of yet more bees, ‘Orrible was in need for a bit of help I decided.
63. “ Here’s all my family’s money!” “ You kids keep doing this..” “ Yeah, I’m desperate for a normal person. Maybe even.. Someone who doesn’t come from here that my family haven’t had time to anger yet? That’d be good. Oh, preferably hot too.” “ That’s what they all say. Whatever kid, I know a gal.”
64. Oh. Um. “ What? She’s great!” Yeah, but.. “ Hi there, it’s so nice to meet you! I love your hat. Care to dance?” “ Of course! Hehe, none of the other boys I’ve dated around here have been so forward..” “ Well, welcome to the Nightmare world.”
65. “ Well I do NOT like that forward!” “ Sorry sorry sorry! Oh gosh, I’m sorry.” “ Hmph.” .. I’m doing this for ‘Orrible .. I’m doing this for ‘Orrible .. Don’t smite the Tricou girl .. Even if she’s disrespecting my lovely boy .. Try very hard not to smite ..
66. “ Mmm.. Being a teenager ROCKS!” Lovely, now don’t expect to ever see her again. But I’ll doubt you’ll want to so that’s okay. Bleh, be gone from here and back to the chapter I haven’t written Hat Girl! Leave the sweet naive boy alone!
67. Maybe he just wants to impress Hat Girl, or maybe he’s seen her true nature and wants to beef up to knock her hat off next time (I’m voting for the second option) but ‘Orrible wanted to get closely acquainted with the dance sphere the family’s new dance sphere for the rest of the day. And seeing as he’s getting a treat of a day off Bug Nutting for his Birthday, I shall let him.
69. Finally fed up of laughing at him puking in his own garden, I deemed it enough of a day off and ‘Orrible gets whipped back into shape for work. Which means I get to get an energizer, whoo! I haven’t used one of these for ages.
70. And I don’t remember it looking quite that scary! “ That’s because it’s the Nightmare energizer!” Ah, of course. Now, back to grubbing around in the dirt with you!
71. No, not that. “ Just for a minute?” Fine. I’ve just noticed Occult getting up from the chess table behind you, and he could be going anywhere. Please no more fridge disasters.. *trains camera on Bad Apple*
72. “ La la la, just going to the toilet!” That’s fine, but I’m watching you! And er, oops. I wasn’t watching the telescope.. Darn it! I wasn’t looking for like ten seconds! .. ‘Orrible?
73. “ Whu? Did something happen? BRATS! SHUT THE HECK UP! I’m sure I heard some oddly familiar noises..”
77. “ Ow.. Okay, so not the date I was after this evening. Ouch! They were pretty friendly which was nice, but still.. I’d take the bee swarm over being thrown 50 feet any day!”
78. “ Hey guys, miss me?” “ BWAAHAHAHAAAA! I know I told them to bugger off, but that was just too funny! Okay aliens, I am Evil Susan and I allow you to throw anyone you want out of space ships – just so long as it isn’t me. Eheheheh, this is the best thing I’ve seen since I got here!” “ Missed you too Mum. Grilled cheese anyone?”
79. And I shall leave you with Blight playing highland fling dress up. Next time Occult and ‘Orrible should be old enough to join the twins at SSU and I can finally put up the heir poll, yay! I can’t believe the aliens came again , both times when I wasn’t even trying even though they hardly ever come to play when I want them to! Whatever, I am now guaranteed my required alien now though, so yeeeees!! Yet another reason for me to love ‘Orrible See you sooooon!
