..No spellcheck I would not like you to switch to German now. But look! I‟ve moved
house and can throw stuff online again!
Anyway, shall we start with a party?
HEY LOOK IT‟S OBLIVION PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
It‟s actually Poxy‟s birthday. But still, I‟m happy, they‟re all happy – and you get to
see a new toddler!
„Orrible: “Urgh, my Grandbaby‟s a toddler. Effort.” *slouch*
Granddaddy might need to go and lie down on the couch for a while – but look!
Though um, I‟m not technically doing anything wrong because it‟s an action I click
on an adult for and not Poxy, but – I hate that hair. I‟m sorry, but I really really do.
Don‟t look at me like that! This is my ONLY chance to do anything about it as well..
There! Much better. I felt too bad to change it much, because I generally believe
you should just roll with whatever Bad Apples grow up in, but ah! So much more
Anyway, Poxy‟s the Bad Apple as I say, meaning I can‟t click on her to control
her/see her Wants/motives/stats/ANYTHING so I can tell you.. Absolutely nothing
at all about her
Actually – she has had a hobby pop up for Music & Dance, so she‟s probably
outgoing! And er, you might be able to pick up the odd hints as this goes on.
“MAMA! DADA! PEOPLE! ME!”
..Please come back and drink your smartmilk like a good girl? Please?
A while later..
“HUNGRY. HAND. NOM HAND!”
My, what a mouth this child has.
But luckily there‟s always „Orrible to swoop in and save the day!
“I think you‟d like this one much better, Mini-cess.”
“Indeed it is. Now make sure you drink it all up, so you can be big and strong and
glowy! Everyone loves a glowly Mini-cess, especially Granddaddy.”
It‟s true! After having finally slurped down her milk Dongy whisked his daughter
away to get crackin‟ on those essential skills.
“Ooo.. CHAIR WHEELS!”
As you can see, it went really well.
“Now THIS is where a girl needs her big stompy boots.. They‟d make way better a
job of it than this useless spray thing. Grr..”
Pregnant as she may be (did I mention that? Well, I did now), Paris set to work de-
roaching the porch after the mere thought of having to kill again brought tears to
her father‟s eyes.
..Which of course meant that she got flu again, for the seventy billionth time.
Which meant that poor Dongy was confined to the spare room for the night.
This was originally Occult‟s room *points at picture* and he actually learnt that. But
Leech didn‟t and so it‟s just been used as an overspill bed if needed *nods* since
then, and it‟s just oddly often..
Bed is right behind you dear – you don‟t need me to sort that out for you anymore.
“Shh shh my darlings! I know it‟s late but there‟s no reason to grumble.. Just
pretend it‟s a sleepover and we‟re telling each other our loveliest, greenest
But there was no bed for „Orrible yet, he and Liz have been happily tending the
garden by moonlight to keep those grilled cheeses a-sparkling and themselves
occupied as the rest of the house sleep.
Ah, they we go! Second preggerspop - active night all round.
“Oh yay! I may be sick but this is still SO exciting! I can‟t wait to show my Dear
When I‟m allowed to interact with him again. Bloody roaches!”
“Oh BOY, my first day of school! This is the greatest!
I wonder what it‟ll be like, I bet it‟s going to be FAN-tastic, totally worth skipping to
the bus for!
Bye-bye Mr Everburning Tree, you have a great day to now! See you when I get
home! Bye „mingos, BYE!”
Everburning Tree: ... *buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn*
Ah, the milestones just keep coming for Poxy, don‟t they?
“POTTY FOR PLAY. NOT SIT.”
But to be honest I think this is her favourite toy of all – Poxy seems to be showing
herself as a bit of a Daddy‟s girl!
Not that Dongy minds. He‟s quite happy quite stroking her hair and bouncing her
Which is often.
“I can‟t believe the next little one is almost here already.. You‟re doing so well with
them, you know! Sprouting up just like the healthiest of spring‟s shoots.”
“Aww, thanks Liz! You and Dad have been awesome at helping out too – and you
know they all think of you as their Grandmammy, yeah?”
“Well – I just want to make sure they get as much Riverblossom love as possible!”
Quick word about Liz;
She‟s not actually related to anyone in the house anymore. Yes, she‟s married to
„Orrible, but has never recognised Parasite as family as she‟s only „Orrible‟s
daughter, and therefore not the kids either.
That‟s kind of why you don‟t see her too much, but she‟s very happy quietly
pottering away helping raise the babies and look after all the plants. Some may call
her boring, but to be honest? In this house full of.. This lot, I call her a blessing.
„Orrible on the other hand is more than happy to be throwing himself into any and
all Grandfatherly duties. As if you‟d except anything less?
“Right then Mini-cess, here we go again.. Nice clean bath time now?”
“POTTY POTTY POTTY!!”
“Well, they‟re not –quite- the same, but if you insist – who am I to refuse?”
“BATH IN POTTY!”
“Now now Mini-cess, that‟s taking things a little too far.”
“That was such an amazing, awesome, fantabulous day! Oh boy, oh boy, it SURE
Thank you Mrs. Bus-Driver-Lady, you took me to school and that was AWE-some.
Same time tomorrow? I can hardly wait! I‟m already so excited!
I can‟t WAIT to tell everyone about the mega-fun I experience today, oh YES.”
However, once inside Obi found that having to do his homework rather than skip
around the garden was rather less than fan-dabby-dozy.
“Oh but Dad, it‟s SO great that you want to help me and all, but this really just is
not as amazing as the actual lessons where..”
Dongy waved his hands about a bit in sympathy. He had never liked his homework
“Say, how about I go and check on Poxy for a bit? She‟s such a fabulous little
sister, and then I‟ll feel SUPER energized to finish this later!”
Dongy just smiled. And while his son sprang off to the nursery, he quietly filled in
the rest of Oblivion‟s fractions for him.
“Okay now Poxy! Now this is SUCH a good game, oh boy are you ever going to
“No Poxy, funtastic DOLLS! Now, this one can be you and this one can be me.
„Hello Doll Poxy! What amazing and exciting things would you like to do today?‟
„Well Doll Obi, you are my Doll big brother so I‟m sure you have so many wonderful
things to show me!‟ „Indeed Doll Poxy, I do. But I want to know what you want to do
Here you go Poxy – you take a turn.”
“NO Poxy, that‟s the toilet! Oh.. Let‟s try something even MORE super fun shall
“Oh NO! Where has Obi gone? Oh Poxy, it‟s not so amazing but I seem to have
“THERE! YOU THERE!”
“Oh gosh! So I am! Oh boy Poxy, that was sure fun wasn‟t it? Shall we-”
But the small boy was cut short by a loud shriek from the living room. Springing to
his feet, Oblivion raced to the source of the cry.
“Oh no, MUM! Are you alright? I heard a cry and it made me EVER so worried!”
“Fine.. Obi.. Just.. Having.. Baby..”
But the sounds also brought another little loud voice toddling from the nursery.
POXY COME PLAY TOO!”
“Oh my beavers NO!
Go back Poxy!
Mum‟s having a baby! Save yourself! Oh my GOSH Poxy, it‟s still not too late for
you to see!
It‟s... It‟s just so..”
“Absolutely not a big deal, you silly little sweetie!” Paris grinned as she twirled
around her new baby with ease. “I have done this before and been absolutely fine,
you may be surprised to know.”
“Oh well thanks GOSHNESS for that!” Oblivion breathed a sigh of relief, and
accompanied his sister back to their games in the nursery.
“Now, what are we going to call you little fellow, hmm?” she said quietly, stroking
her little son‟s tummy.
But as often as is this case in this household, her question was answered for her.
Hearing her husband‟s sharp intake of breathe next to her as a voice filled the
room, Parasite turned to him with as calm a look as she could muster.
“Dear Dongy.. You just heard that too, didn‟t you? I mean, I know odd things have
happened when we‟ve been naming the kids before, but that.. Was something else.
Do you – do you think we should still listen? Just in case?”
His solemn nod sealed the deal.
“Alright then.. Certain Doom it is. I guess.”
Meanwhile in the kitchen, „Orrible was chewing his sandwich as calmly as he could.
Which wasn‟t very, given the circumstances.
I didn’t think I’d ever hear that voice again.. He thought to himself. At least.. Not
until I’m rather less alive.
But he soon put it from his mind – he had a new Grandson to dote on after all!
Certain Doom, or C.D. as everyone came to call him, was proving to be a much
quieter baby than his siblings, and with his blonde hair and light blue eyes much
more similar in appearance to Dongy than they.
And with „Orrible on care duty, Parasite is finally able to get back to work! This is
exciting as she‟s only one promotion away from topping her LTW, and it‟s been a
while since we had anything like that happen around here.
Oblivion meanwhile, tries to make a friend.
“So don‟t you just think that school is so totally awesomely the best thing ever,
Marie? Because boy oh BOY, I sure do!”
“The classes! The teachers! All the lovely thick books that smell of bookydom! It‟s
just SO exciting and amazingly brilliant fun, wouldn‟t you say?”
“What the heck is wrong with you?”
“Um.. Nothing? I thought I was quite nifty actually.”
“Well you‟re not. And neither‟s school! It takes away precious time that could be far
better spent tending a new sweet corn crops! THEY‟re sweet, not you Oblivion!
“But.. I‟m sure I‟m right! School‟s as BRILL as when Mum put‟s condensed milk into
our grilled cheese.
OH LOOK! Here she comes now Marie! You‟d better go, I er, wouldn‟t want to keep
you away from your snazzy sweet corn.”
She has become THE LAW.
Yes that is right – THE LAW.
It‟s totally spiffy to see you – congrats for becoming THE LAW!”
“Aww, thanks sweetie. What do you say we have some of our special sweet
cheese sandwiches for dinner tonight?”
“I love you, Mummy.”
It was a good evening all around!
Poxy was proud to have worked up her first ever green stink cloud, and became
rather shouty whenever anyone tried to come and bathe her.
And quiet little C.D. was cuddled to his little baby heart‟s content.
But bed comes, as bed always does. Which for „Orrible and Obi meant their special
goodnight hug – something well worth waiting all day for.
“Hugs for the good dreams!”
“Hugs to scare off the bad too.”
“Hugs for AWESOME Granddaddy!”
“Hugs because I love you.”
“Aww.. I love you too Granddaddy! Night night,”
“I still can‟t believe Dad never told us about her.. Our own Grandmother! Feared
throughout all of Riverblossom as she slowly started to take the place down.. Well,
blow it up technically! Such amazing power. And we didn‟t hear a thing, not a single
How dare he..”
“It‟s quite exciting though, isn‟t it? Having such a famous relative and all. But I‟m
sure Dad had his reasons for not telling us, Ruthless. You know how much he loves
“Shut up Twin. And loves ME, by the way, I don‟t know about the rest of you lot. But
it still sickens me, just think of all the things I could have done if I‟d known what I do
“Mm, maybe that‟s why-”
“Shut UP Twin!”
*DING DONG THERE ARE GENERAL DOORBELL NOISES HERE TOO*
“What the.. Who the heck would dare come and visit ME without an invitation.”
Ruthless grumbled angrily as she hauled herself off the couch.
“You stay here Twin, I‟ll deal with them..”
“Why hello there!
My name is Lindsay Lou and I‟ve got some super-scrumptious strawberries for sale
– just what you need on a splendidly sunny afternoon like this, don‟t you think?
They‟re just yummy-wummy!”
Ruthless was about to slam the door in the young woman‟s face as usual, but
something made her pause for a second.
What would Evil Susan do in this situation?
She thought for a couple of seconds.
Yes! I’ve got it! That is exactly what she would do..
Stepping outside and putting on the best smile she could possibly manage,
Ruthless approached the visitor.
“Well now, that does sound just lovely! But it‟s such a sunny day, you must be so
hot walking around like this all day, gosh darn it!”
“Why yes, I must say I am rather warm! How kind of you to think of me so.”
“Oh of course, us fellow Riverblossomers must stick together, right? So how about
it, take a quick dip in our pool to cool down before you go on your way.”
“Why that sounds mighty fine indeed!”
“Right this way, Sally Sunshine or whatever your name was!”
“Oooh, that is deliciously cool! Thank you indeed.”
“Sure sure, you take your time!”
A few hours later, Riot came out to the garden to see where her twin had gone.
“Wow Ruthless, it‟s really kind of you to let someone use the pool for so long!”
Ruthless stretched and sighed
“Yup, that‟s me! I‟m a changed woman and all that.”
“I‟m actually getting pretty tired now..” came a voice from the water.
“..Where have our pool steps gone?”
“Um.. Help? I‟m sorry to be such a bother to you kind folk, but I really don‟t think I
can swim anymore!
In fact I think I.. I..
*glug glug glug*”
“Oh AT LAST.” Ruthless cheered, “that was taking forever!”
“Oh no..” Riot whispered, and hid her eyes as the woman‟s body slowly sank under
“Now THAT is a good afternoon‟s entertainment!”
WELL I‟VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE.
WHO ON RIVERBLOSSOM‟S GREEN PLAIN BUILDS A POOL WITH NO STEPS
AND THEN GOES SWIMMING IN IT..
“Oh you know, some people just have no sense!”
POOR LASS. YOU GIRLS BE CAREFUL NOW, I‟D ADVISE INSTALLING SOME
SORT OF WAY TO EXIT YOUR POOL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, WE DON‟T
WANT ANY MORE DEATHS NOW, DO WE?
“And what a tragedy that will be..”
And with a swish of his scythe, Death was gone.
Without a moment of hesitation, Riot spun towards her twin.
“How COULD you Ruthless! You could have, no SHOULD have just told her to go
away if you didn‟t want her goods! This is.. This is just sick!”
“Oh my Twin.. Look who‟s growing a backbone! Now I don‟t know if I can tolerate
this behaviour Twin, you really need to sort your attitude out.”
“No I don‟t, it‟s YOU who needs to change YOUR attitude for once!”
“What‟s gotten IN to you, Ruth?”
But Ruthless just smiled.
“Oh Twin.. Nothing‟s gotten into me.
It‟s in our blood.”
Back in slightly more sane land..
Hey Obi – off to school again?
I thought as much.
Unaware of what Ruthless was getting up to, the rest of the Nightmares had settled
quite happily into a daily routine revolving around the children.
Often this meant just queuing up to play with Poxy, who smelly fascinations aside,
just hated to be on her own when there was love to be had.
And C.D. quite happily lay silently until he decided he needed something.
How novel for a Nightmare..
“Oh wow OH WOW oh wow OH WOW”
You learned that the orange slayed the rake?
“Even more fantastical than that! Though that is tremendously awesometastic.”
“I GOT AN A FOR AWESOME!!”
And I have a feeling that you thoroughly deserve it
“Dad Dad Dad A A A A!”
Dongy smiled sweetly in approval of one son‟s achievements, while bouncing the
other slightly in his arms.
“I LOVE YOU TOO DAD!”
Yes my darling, you are a star.
You really are.
And fresh from his homework excitements, Oblivion was thrilled to be joining his
family in yet another birthday celebration!
Though truth be told, some of the adults were a little sad to see that C.D.‟s stoic
phase may be about to come to an abrupt end.
Oh yeah, and Paris wasn‟t there because she‟s got flu.
But this just gave „Orrible and excuse to toot extra loudly and for Dongy to smile
And so the last of the Nightmare‟s was finally thrown into the traditional confetti-
filled world of toddlerdom!
..With slightly silly hair.
Ah, now that‟s better.
So Certain Doom is going to be our Bug Nut, and I‟m sure „Orrible will give him
plenty of pointers on the best way to coax out his little friends. C.D.‟s an Aries, with
a personality of 7 10 8 3 7, so he seems to be a rogue little tidier!
Phew, we do kind of need one..
Poxy was of course thrilled to have someone her own size to huggle, and wasted
no time in getting to know her little brother a bit better.
“CEEEDEEEE HUG MEEEEEEE!!”
Ah, so it doesn‟t look like he‟s going to be as silent as his Dad. Well, I think given
the rest of his family, we shouldn‟t be surprised!
“SMELLY IS LESS GOOD NOW.”
Make up your mind child!
..Fine. I shall have someone bathe you.
Seeing as Obi has been doing so well in school and Dongy has been such an
awesome husband and Dad – I decided to buy the two Tinkerers a present. (And
also we didn‟t need the baby part of the nursery anymore now that we‟re done
This is rather a large investment for me, and really a testament to how much I love
Well.. Some of you might remember what happened last time I had one of these.
So anyway, here‟s hoping these two don‟t burn and die!
“Oh Dad, I just don‟t know where to start! The trees, the mountains, the lake.. Oh
BOY this is going to be such an awesomely fun project! But where to begin, oh
squeakums I just don‟t know! Dad, Dad, what do you think Dad?”
Amused by his son‟s overexcited flapping, Dongy grinned and reached for the bag
of toy houses.
After they‟d build a town on the board, the two of them decided to give driving the
train a whirl. Unfortunately Dongy crashed on his first circuit, but Oblivion was
seemly rather a natural.
Of course this got him a rather loud round of applause from his adoring Father. And
But much as he loved his new train set, Oblivion still couldn‟t quite put down his
“Hmm.. Yeah! Wowsers, this looks like it would make a perfect foundation stone!
Especially with.. THIS green one! AMAZING!”
..Lucky C.D. Is a deep enough sleeper to snore through his brother‟s cries of glee.
And Poxy was proving to be just a big a people fan as her Mother.
“Of course! Then cuddles and peek-a-boo?”
However, she was finding that rousing her youngest from naps was quite a different
kettle of fish than her other two children.
“Are you ready for another day of exciting adventure with your Mummy? Because
“..My, you are a funny one, aren‟t you?”
Her son merely wobbled to his feet and, cocking his head to one side, gave
Parasite a rather long silent stare.
But eventually he giggled, and trotted off to his favourite corner to sit and quietly
got on playing with the nursery toys, while his bemused Mother shook her head
and headed off to the kitchen.
He was still there several hours later when Poxy stumbled in looking for him.
“CEEEDEEEE! I DON‟T FEEL RIGHT.
I WANT A HUGGLE FROM CEEEDEEEE!!”
“OH! ACTUALLY THIS FEELS QUITE NICE NOW!
LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!”
“I‟M ALL BIG!”
Yes you are child. And.. Slightly painful to look at.
Oh well, nothing I can do about until you head off to uni! As the Bad Apple I can‟t
tell you anything about how she grew up, other than her pop up informed me she
was Gold. Not too shabby, „eh?
I THINK I MIGHT BE A BIT TOO BIG FOR THAT HUGGLE NOW CEEDEEE.
LET‟S TRY AGAIN WHEN YOU‟RE ALL BIG TOO! THAT WILL BE EXCITING
“AND RIGHT NOW I‟M TIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!”
Well you can sort that out yourself now, can‟t you?
And that, as per tradition, is that for now!